When you get married, you take on your bad days as well your spouses, which makes for more bad days. If you're not strong enough to keep your bad days to yourself, and not bring them home while leading your household, and at the same time have the poise, and emotional intelligence to not catch feelings when her bad days cross into your world and still stay sturdy, don't even go ring shoppin dog.
Kids, as beautiful as they are, add to the stress load because now your time is not yours anymore and many find themselves, losing themselves in the daily struggle of doing what you have to instead of what you want to and fighting those feelings of regret that exist because you want your time back, and there's nothing wrong with that, you're human, and we're selfish at times. You gotta find the jewels within parenthood that make it worth while Mine gave me so much fuckin fuel to be better, I can't imagine going back to the nigga I was. If you not built for that, or you don't think you have a mate that is.... hit the showers.
Look at it like this, Marriage is the NBA of relationships. If you can't get through menial, or big problems when it's just 1 on 1 with some commitment, but still a unlocked door. If one or the other finds themselves looking at the unlocked door during every dispute, and get to sayin shit like they unsure, don't get married. Because when that door locks.... It's real, we playin for keeps, and the cost of losing is super high.
As a man, you have to be stable enough to take on a woman and all her emotions, and try to remain who she fell in love with, while also keeping her at least feeling secure by providing, leading, teaching and protecting her, and your children. Being a woman has it's own pressures, but i'm not no woman so i'll leave that to them to explain. If you choose a partner for the right reasons, and you're certain you're both war ready, make it happen, be fruitful, and have a beautiful life together, and raise children that will hopefully learn from your example and do the same.
The most important attribute a wife can have is commitment, loyalty, and persistence, that's what being ready for anything life throws at you and staying the course is all about. All the stay togethers I know had one common thread of advice YOUNG NIGGA YOU GON GO THROUGH SOME SHIT, WITH MARRIAGE, SO MAKE SURE YOU'RE BOTH READY.
And If I could add 2 rules to that, the first rule is make sure you keep the love for each other first. The second rule is don't forget rule number 1. It's the heartbeat of the whole thing, so take care of each other, mind body and spirit.
Ain't shit sweet, at all. Bring your hard hat. You come ready to dig out a foundation and plant the field instead of thinking the work is done once you leave the altar. You'll be aight. And remember, MEN LEAD. PERIOD.
Marriage is beautiful, but you gotta put the pain in to keep it rockin.
Synergy nigga. Find a dope person and you keep being dope, and make a doper person. That's why we here.
and is still down for the ride.