The rising counterculture of being an adult without kids.

[T. Sanford]

I'm 35 and have no kids, and I'm cool on not having any. It's not for me.

What I can't stand is when some women and men say they have no regrets as to having children when the kids weren't planned. It's even worse when they have kids without thinking of the environment the child will be placed in.

I'm 35 and have no kids, and I'm cool on not having any. It's not for me.

What I can't stand is when some women and men say they have no regrets as to having children when the kids weren't planned. It's even worse when they have kids without thinking of the environment the child will be placed in.[/quote]

I remember I was on FB one day & this chick put up a picture of her kid & some more lil kids, throwing up 4th avenue signs. The same hood the mother herself grew up in smh. Then I seen another picture of another chick, she posted a picture of her lil girl (look like about 5-6) throwing up a misleading finger then she captions "this what my lil girl think about y'all). All her friends was like "take this down" "you are wrong" etc etc. Then the mother commented back "what? What's wrong with the picture? Y'all act like I got her almost butt naked or something " smmfgdh.

I remember I seen this fool put a picture up of his lil boy wearing a yellow bandana around his mouth then he caption "he just like his father".....like why would you want your kids to have the negative sides of yourself & why tf would you want your kids growing up in the same hood & poverty you grew up in

 

[luke1733]

Not having kids and being single are 2 different things. Not having kids and being older is cool especially when you think people are living longer and still physically able to do things like play with their kids even in their late 30's 40's or 50's. I ain't none of those ages, but I've seen some of these older people looking a lot better than they used to; so not having kids and waiting is straight. Truthfully though, I'm gonna go old school and just say I don't want no kids if I ain't married and I don't get to see them; that's called another bill. Can't have kids unless I'm gonna be a parent.

 

[NothingButTheTruth]

FOH w/ this selfishness talk. Niggas bringing a life into the world that ain't asking to be here, simply because they LONELY, or feeling peer pressure from friends, or they think a baby is a cute toy, or they wanna get all this praise for "being a parent"??? Like damn, I may be selfish for not wanting to spend money on kids, but really, which form of selfishness is worse, you tell me.

tbh my biggest problem isn't even w/ THE KIDS........its with THE MOTHER.....

shit ties you to that chick F-O-R-E-V-E-R and i ain't just talkin' child support either. Certain people can straight-up be a toxic presence in your life. The idea of not being able to escape that terrifies me.

Y'all are changing the subject. If you're going to the club to pick up chicks, you're not going to find wifey material there. Stop trying to fuck on the first night, and start hanging out in places where quality woman are present. Like I said, y'all are salty because y'all fucked up.

As far as the selfish thing...

What about the FACT that the lineage of your family tree will end with you?

What about your parents wanting some grandkids?

What about your girl wanting to start a family with the man of her dreams?

What about you refusing to give life, when your parents made the same sacrifice for you?

What about PLANNING FOR THE KIDS, so your pockets aren't hurt when that time comes?

... and it's WAY MORE SELFISH to not want to give life, so you can indulge in material objects and have fun all the time. It's really not even remotely close.

 

[Mister B.]

This is for @NothingButTheTruth

1) Stop actin like crazy and troubled broads only exists in the clubs. Like every chick in church is ACTUAL wife/mother material....like crazy hoes don't go to Barnes and Noble. Cut that shit out. There crazy hoes and niggas EVERYWHERE, and a lot of times, that shit doesn't manifest itself until kids are born and/or rings go on fingers.

2) Why should I give a fuck if my parents want grand kids? Wouldn't that be selfish of THEM to pressure me into having kids for their own benefit? (besides, I have siblings....and they have five kids between them. My parents have more grand kids then they know what to do with)

3) If I'm REALLY the man of her dreams, and she knows I don't want kids, she's free to leave and find that guy that wants kids. I'm not holding her hostage.

4) THAT's why it's MY life. I'm not compelled to "honor" something just cause my parents did it. If that's the case, wouldn't we all just do what our parents want us to do instead of us living our own life?

These are lame excuses you created. If a person wants to be live their own life, child free or no, then it's for THEM to decide, not a bunch of "defects" or "character flaws" like someone is selfish, irresponsible, etc.

 

[Little JJ]

I feel as if I wanna be childless forever so I have a lot of free time to just fuck random hoes and be selfish with my money, but I believe those intentions are what lead a lot of niggas to having loads of baby mama drama, kids, and child support.

It's sorta hard to get the best of both worlds.

 

[atribecalledgabi]

Having kids is just as selfish as not wanting kids. At the end of the day you're doing it because you wanted to. Even if your kids weren't planned you have a choice in whether or not they were brought into the world.

Niggas kill me with that you're selfish if you don't want kids talk...like they have altruistic reasons for procreating. Like they had a seance with their spirit baby ans asked it if it wanted to be born foh

 

[NothingButTheTruth]

Y'all are brainwashed or y'all just can't see the bigger picture.

 

[taeboo]

I'm 35 and have no kids, and I'm cool on not having any. It's not for me.

What I can't stand is when some women and men say they have no regrets as to having children when the kids weren't planned. It's even worse when they have kids without thinking of the environment the child will be placed in.

I'm one of those people that doesn't regret having my kid when I did. Has being a young parent hard at times, yes, but who doesn't go through some sort of hardship at some point in their lives? Some people here view having a child as some sort of burden when it's so far from that. I understand that having a kid is not for everyone tho....

 

[Doctopian]

Y'all are brainwashed or y'all just can't see the bigger picture.

Ironic, considering that you can't see beyond your own point of view on this topic. Understand that legacy, your parents wants, and life for that matter have no objective meaning. That is to say that those things are only as valuable as an individual believes them to be.

Furthermore, both of those sides of this discussion have selfish motivators. If your desire to have children stems from you wanting to continue your legacy, satisfy your parents, or by the sense of fulfillment that comes from raising a child, then how are you any less selfish than the person who chooses not to have children because they enjoy having fun? Remember, perspective is everything.

"You have your way, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

 

[2stepz_ahead]

having kids is not for everyone...

but most people base it off of what they saw or what they think they want.

the article that was mentioned above is stupid. to not have kids so you can have the dream life. laying around,not being responsible and able to get up an go when you want with all your money, right?

but what if that doesnt happen? you based it off a what if.

its like saying you dont want a house because its too much work. i see my man doing work every weekend. that shit aint for me. ill stay in an apartment my whole life..it's easier.

at some point you need to stop looking at life as finding the easiest route or the most fun route.

not saying kids will help or whatever....but shit sounds stupid to me

 

[taeboo]

It's definitely a burden when unplanned...

How exactly?

 

[atribecalledgabi]

Having kids is just as selfish as not wanting kids. At the end of the day you're doing it because you wanted to. Even if your kids weren't planned you have a choice in whether or not they were brought into the world.

Niggas kill me with that you're selfish if you don't want kids talk...like they have altruistic reasons for procreating. Like they had a seance with their spirit baby ans asked it if it wanted to be born foh

being selfish isnt always a bad thing though

but i think i understand the point you're trying to make

ain't nothing wrong with being selfish (within reason) or wanting kids or not wanting kids...but i can't deal with people in this thread acting like it's so wrong & selfish for people to not want kids like having kids is so selfless. you ain't doing nobody no favors by introducing another person to the world who nobody outside of your immediate fam is gonna care about anyway.

 

[Doctopian]

It's definitely a burden when unplanned...

How exactly?

How is it not? Not to say that a person can't adjust and make the best out of the situation, but I imagine an unplanned pregnancy would greatly affect the direction of a person's life.

 

[taeboo]

It's definitely a burden when unplanned...

How exactly?

How is it not? Not to say that a person can't adjust and make the best out of the situation, but I imagine an unplanned pregnancy would greatly affect the direction of a person's life.

Of course it does, but that doesn't automatically make the child a burden...

 

[fuc_i_look_like]

It's definitely a burden when unplanned...

How exactly?

lol!!!! this cant be a serious question...it just cant be

 

[taeboo]

It's definitely a burden when unplanned...

How exactly?

lol!!!! this cant be a serious question...it just cant be

I'm dead serious. How is a child a burden??

 

[LUClEN]

Children are expensive and require a lot of work. Most kids just end up sticking their parents in a home too so parents don't even see a return on what they invest into their kids anymore.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

Children are expensive and require a lot of work. Most kids just end up sticking their parents in a home too so parents don't even see a return on what they invest into their kids anymore.

but as a parent you should set your life up so that you wont have to depend on your child to care for you.

i would want my child to live their life and just check on me every once in a while to make sure the home aint abusing me.

the return i want to see in my child is living a happy life and not being a burden on society.

 

[taeboo]

Children are expensive and require a lot of work. Most kids just end up sticking their parents in a home too so parents don't even see a return on what they invest into their kids anymore.

So everything that requires hard work is automatically a burden?

 

[Doctopian]

It's definitely a burden when unplanned...

How exactly?

How is it not? Not to say that a person can't adjust and make the best out of the situation, but I imagine an unplanned pregnancy would greatly affect the direction of a person's life.

Of course it does, but that doesn't automatically make the child a burden...

Objectively speaking, how can having another mouth to feed, body to clothe, and mind to educate not be a burden? The reward might be worth whatever hardships the parents have to face, but pretending that there won't at least be a few cons seems a bit farfetched.