The rising counterculture of being an adult without kids.

[taeboo]

It's definitely a burden when unplanned...

How exactly?

How is it not? Not to say that a person can't adjust and make the best out of the situation, but I imagine an unplanned pregnancy would greatly affect the direction of a person's life.

Of course it does, but that doesn't automatically make the child a burden...

Objectively speaking, how can having another mouth to feed, body to clothe, and mind to educate not be a burden? The reward might be worth whatever hardships the parents have to face, but pretending that there won't at least be a few cons seems a bit farfetched.

So a few cons=burden?? If that's the case anything you have to work for would be considered burden correct?

 

[atribecalledgabi]

Ironic, considering that you can't see beyond your own point of view on this topic. Understand that legacy, your parents wants, and life for that matter have no objective meaning. That is to say that those things are only as valuable as an individual believes them to be.

Furthermore, both of those sides of this discussion have selfish motivators. If your desire to have children stems from you wanting to continue your legacy, satisfy your parents, or by the sense of fulfillment that comes from raising a child, then how are you any less selfish than the person who chooses not to have children because they enjoy having fun? Remember, perspective is everything.

"You have your way, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

nietzsche the GOAT

 

[Doctopian]

It's definitely a burden when unplanned...

How exactly?

How is it not? Not to say that a person can't adjust and make the best out of the situation, but I imagine an unplanned pregnancy would greatly affect the direction of a person's life.

Of course it does, but that doesn't automatically make the child a burden...

Objectively speaking, how can having another mouth to feed, body to clothe, and mind to educate not be a burden? The reward might be worth whatever hardships the parents have to face, but pretending that there won't at least be a few cons seems a bit farfetched.

So a few cons=burden?? If that's the case anything you have to work for would be considered burden correct?

Technically, yes. "Burden" literally mean to bear weight, and raising one or more children would definitively qualify. I'm not saying that the burden can't be worthwhile in the long run, but it is a burden nevertheless.

 

[Doctopian]

Ironic, considering that you can't see beyond your own point of view on this topic. Understand that legacy, your parents wants, and life for that matter have no objective meaning. That is to say that those things are only as valuable as an individual believes them to be.

Furthermore, both of those sides of this discussion have selfish motivators. If your desire to have children stems from you wanting to continue your legacy, satisfy your parents, or by the sense of fulfillment that comes from raising a child, then how are you any less selfish than the person who chooses not to have children because they enjoy having fun? Remember, perspective is everything.

"You have your way, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

nietzsche the GOAT

Indeed.

 

[NothingButTheTruth]

Y'all are brainwashed or y'all just can't see the bigger picture.

Ironic, considering that you can't see beyond your own point of view on this topic. Understand that legacy, your parents wants, and life for that matter have no objective meaning. That is to say that those things are only as valuable as an individual believes them to be.

Furthermore, both of those sides of this discussion have selfish motivators. If your desire to have children stems from you wanting to continue your legacy, satisfy your parents, or by the sense of fulfillment that comes from raising a child, then how are you any less selfish than the person who chooses not to have children because they enjoy having fun? Remember, perspective is everything.

"You have your way, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

Miss me with that perspective shit. The logic used in your first 2 paragraphs can be used to "rebut" any stance in any argument.

At the end of the day, y'all don't see the bigger picture of the whole thing. We'll see how all you guys feel when you're 50+ yrs. old with no seeds trying to live the "single" life or should I say lonely life.

 

[BoldChild]

It's definitely a burden when unplanned...

How exactly?

If a person initially did not want kids, but had one due to an accident, and felt obligated to raise them, they would probably view it as a burden.

 

[bkkbully]

Lol I don't get why people are so upset at those who don't want to have children. Some first world problem shit. Some don't realize that you have the luxury of choice, and can choose if you want kids or not. Shit is not like that everywhere else in the world. there is no shortage of children in the world. In third world countries kids are popping up by the litter.

 

[bkkbully]

Y'all are brainwashed or y'all just can't see the bigger picture.

Ironic, considering that you can't see beyond your own point of view on this topic. Understand that legacy, your parents wants, and life for that matter have no objective meaning. That is to say that those things are only as valuable as an individual believes them to be.

Furthermore, both of those sides of this discussion have selfish motivators. If your desire to have children stems from you wanting to continue your legacy, satisfy your parents, or by the sense of fulfillment that comes from raising a child, then how are you any less selfish than the person who chooses not to have children because they enjoy having fun? Remember, perspective is everything.

"You have your way, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

Miss me with that perspective shit. The logic used in your first 2 paragraphs can be used to "rebut" any stance in any argument.

At the end of the day, y'all don't see the bigger picture of the whole thing. We'll see how all you guys feel when you're 50+ yrs. old with no seeds trying to live the "single" life or should I say lonely life.

Why it gotta be so extreme though? I know lots of 45+ year old happily married couples who don't have and never wanted kids. So just because someone doesn't want kids they still can't be happily married? They have to be lonely and living the single life? My nigga, life isn't so black and white. Get you some colors...

 

[Doctopian]

Y'all are brainwashed or y'all just can't see the bigger picture.

Ironic, considering that you can't see beyond your own point of view on this topic. Understand that legacy, your parents wants, and life for that matter have no objective meaning. That is to say that those things are only as valuable as an individual believes them to be.

Furthermore, both of those sides of this discussion have selfish motivators. If your desire to have children stems from you wanting to continue your legacy, satisfy your parents, or by the sense of fulfillment that comes from raising a child, then how are you any less selfish than the person who chooses not to have children because they enjoy having fun? Remember, perspective is everything.

"You have your way, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

Miss me with that perspective shit. The logic used in your first 2 paragraphs can be used to "rebut" any stance in any argument.

At the end of the day, y'all don't see the bigger picture of the whole thing. We'll see how all you guys feel when you're 50+ yrs. old with no seeds trying to live the "single" life or should I say lonely life.

I don't know about any argument, but it does do a pretty good job of undermining absolute stances based on nonfactual premises.

You're still talking about the big picture when you can't even entertain the opposing point of view. The fact is that the ratio of births to deaths is roughly 2:1, so we aren't exactly in danger of dying out any time soon. With that caveat out of the way, you can't offer a single shrewd of evidence to support your stance that those who want kids are superior in any way to those who don't.

And you can miss me with that strawman. I actually do want a kid or two when the time is right. The difference between the two of us is that I am neither pretentious enough to believe that everyone should do things my way nor delusional enough to think that I am morally superior to those who don't want children.

 

[bkkbully]

I love my kids but if u one of them pops thats in your kids life and your raising them then u see how needy they are....they always wanna do some shit outside of the house, they always asking for something to eat as soon as u sit down, my son always on the 360 when i wanna get on ncaa, they always following me around the house, my daughter piss in the pot but wanna shit in her pull-ups...the shit is crazy bro.

If i could do it all over i would of stayed single forever smashing random females and not havin no kids....dont listen to these niggas......

smashing random chicks gets old. while some may say thats crazy...i choose my life over that now because i dont have the energy to put towards gamin a chick all the time. but thats just me.

you sound like you regret your kids otherwise what your stating is a phase we all went thru....how would you feel if you found a letter from you parent that said the same thing you just said?

why cant you play the 360with your son...mad cuz hes on it..you sound like his brother an not his dad. kids need patience and guidance.

if you wanted to have fun you should of thought about it before you had kids. you sound miserable and thats what some people look at to say..see he's miserable with his kids.

im in my kids life everyday...while they do get on my nerves they do alot that makes me proud. its give and take and i would not trade that for fukkin random hoes. some dudes are thorough enough to do both. get ya skills up homie

bruh u thinking too much into this......if i did it all over again i wouldnt have had kids and a wife...i would be chillin in Spain or Morroco with bitches feeding me grapes.

so you settled down too early or are you saying that type life aint for you?

Naw i think the life for me would be having a harem in Morocco surrounded by exotic bitches from all over the world while smoking hashish wit my fellowship.

when they last kid turns 18...you can still have it

or take em with you an leave them with the nanny

i don't mean to pick on you bruh but your asking for it. If you think once your last child turns 18, your automatically 'off the hook' as a parent, then you for damn sure should be thinking hard about being one. Your that kids parent for LIFE nigga. 18 - till DEAF. With today's economy, kids aren't moving out of their parents houses until 23-25. Guess who your still feeding? Guess who's using your water & electric? Guess who's still not retired? Wanna know why?

 

[2stepz_ahead]

It's definitely a burden when unplanned...

How exactly?

If a person initially did not want kids, but had one due to an accident, and felt obligated to raise them, they would probably view it as a burden.

but thats a mistake of his own doing. so,be angry at the mistake you made as long as its around?

that's selfish.

having sex with random chicks you will always run the chance of a mistake happening or accident happening. if you aint man enough to stand by it then why are you fukkin until you nut?

 

[2stepz_ahead]

Y'all are brainwashed or y'all just can't see the bigger picture.

Ironic, considering that you can't see beyond your own point of view on this topic. Understand that legacy, your parents wants, and life for that matter have no objective meaning. That is to say that those things are only as valuable as an individual believes them to be.

Furthermore, both of those sides of this discussion have selfish motivators. If your desire to have children stems from you wanting to continue your legacy, satisfy your parents, or by the sense of fulfillment that comes from raising a child, then how are you any less selfish than the person who chooses not to have children because they enjoy having fun? Remember, perspective is everything.

"You have your way, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

Miss me with that perspective shit. The logic used in your first 2 paragraphs can be used to "rebut" any stance in any argument.

At the end of the day, y'all don't see the bigger picture of the whole thing. We'll see how all you guys feel when you're 50+ yrs. old with no seeds trying to live the "single" life or should I say lonely life.

Why it gotta be so extreme though? I know lots of 45+ year old happily married couples who don't have and never wanted kids. So just because someone doesn't want kids they still can't be happily married? They have to be lonely and living the single life? My nigga, life isn't so black and white. Get you some colors...

this is one of those cases...where you choose to believe they are telling the truth because it fits what you want it to fit.

they may have fought and been fighting for years over it an have now just excepted that one of them is just plain selfish and the other has no balls to step away.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

I love my kids but if u one of them pops thats in your kids life and your raising them then u see how needy they are....they always wanna do some shit outside of the house, they always asking for something to eat as soon as u sit down, my son always on the 360 when i wanna get on ncaa, they always following me around the house, my daughter piss in the pot but wanna shit in her pull-ups...the shit is crazy bro.

If i could do it all over i would of stayed single forever smashing random females and not havin no kids....dont listen to these niggas......

smashing random chicks gets old. while some may say thats crazy...i choose my life over that now because i dont have the energy to put towards gamin a chick all the time. but thats just me.

you sound like you regret your kids otherwise what your stating is a phase we all went thru....how would you feel if you found a letter from you parent that said the same thing you just said?

why cant you play the 360with your son...mad cuz hes on it..you sound like his brother an not his dad. kids need patience and guidance.

if you wanted to have fun you should of thought about it before you had kids. you sound miserable and thats what some people look at to say..see he's miserable with his kids.

im in my kids life everyday...while they do get on my nerves they do alot that makes me proud. its give and take and i would not trade that for fukkin random hoes. some dudes are thorough enough to do both. get ya skills up homie

bruh u thinking too much into this......if i did it all over again i wouldnt have had kids and a wife...i would be chillin in Spain or Morroco with bitches feeding me grapes.

so you settled down too early or are you saying that type life aint for you?

Naw i think the life for me would be having a harem in Morocco surrounded by exotic bitches from all over the world while smoking hashish wit my fellowship.

when they last kid turns 18...you can still have it

or take em with you an leave them with the nanny

i don't mean to pick on you bruh but your asking for it. If you think once your last child turns 18, your automatically 'off the hook' as a parent, then you for damn sure should be thinking hard about being one. Your that kids parent for LIFE nigga. 18 - till DEAF. With today's economy, kids aren't moving out of their parents houses until 23-25. Guess who your still feeding? Guess who's using your water & electric? Guess who's still not retired? Wanna know why?

thats doesnt mean you not s good parent....the economy is bad an nothing i can do about it....in my case my child can work at one of my companies...

but i would actually want my child to stay at home until about 25 so they can stack their money and when they leave they dont have to come back and can live a nice life.

but when i said 18 he can have that live...after that point you are not obligated to hand hold and spoon feed. you can now have you life the thought you may have always wanted.

 

[NoCompetition]

Some people seem to have a blind spot about this. There already aint enough jobs or resources to go around now. The poorest people have the most kids. But it seems people are actually getting smarter (amazingly) as they are choosing to use common sense more on this issue. To each his own but good sht nonetheless.

 

[blackrain]

Y'all are brainwashed or y'all just can't see the bigger picture.

Ironic, considering that you can't see beyond your own point of view on this topic. Understand that legacy, your parents wants, and life for that matter have no objective meaning. That is to say that those things are only as valuable as an individual believes them to be.

Furthermore, both of those sides of this discussion have selfish motivators. If your desire to have children stems from you wanting to continue your legacy, satisfy your parents, or by the sense of fulfillment that comes from raising a child, then how are you any less selfish than the person who chooses not to have children because they enjoy having fun? Remember, perspective is everything.

"You have your way, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

Miss me with that perspective shit. The logic used in your first 2 paragraphs can be used to "rebut" any stance in any argument.

At the end of the day, y'all don't see the bigger picture of the whole thing. We'll see how all you guys feel when you're 50+ yrs. old with no seeds trying to live the "single" life or should I say lonely life.

Why do people swear someone who has no kids is going to be lonely? That was the original reason the thread premise failed in the first place. People say that shit like you don't have friends/family still. Like if you don't have kids all of a sudden everyone will just desert you in life like you're a social leper.

 

[blackrain]

Y'all are brainwashed or y'all just can't see the bigger picture.

Ironic, considering that you can't see beyond your own point of view on this topic. Understand that legacy, your parents wants, and life for that matter have no objective meaning. That is to say that those things are only as valuable as an individual believes them to be.

Furthermore, both of those sides of this discussion have selfish motivators. If your desire to have children stems from you wanting to continue your legacy, satisfy your parents, or by the sense of fulfillment that comes from raising a child, then how are you any less selfish than the person who chooses not to have children because they enjoy having fun? Remember, perspective is everything.

"You have your way, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

Miss me with that perspective shit. The logic used in your first 2 paragraphs can be used to "rebut" any stance in any argument.

At the end of the day, y'all don't see the bigger picture of the whole thing. We'll see how all you guys feel when you're 50+ yrs. old with no seeds trying to live the "single" life or should I say lonely life.

Why it gotta be so extreme though? I know lots of 45+ year old happily married couples who don't have and never wanted kids. So just because someone doesn't want kids they still can't be happily married? They have to be lonely and living the single life? My nigga, life isn't so black and white. Get you some colors...

this is one of those cases...where you choose to believe they are telling the truth because it fits what you want it to fit.

they may have fought and been fighting for years over it an have now just excepted that one of them is just plain selfish and the other has no balls to step away.

How do you know not having kids caused tension in a marriage? You're assuming based on what you want to believe, not what's actually being told to you

 

[2stepz_ahead]

@taeboo Meaning... I would be a donkey to create another human being without a proverbial blueprint in place for his or her future...

A blueprint for you or them is not realistic.

Things change all the time. Thats just what life does.

I heard a saying once that "god laughs at our plans".

So no matter what you think may happen or whay yoy think you setting up for. Shit can and will always change.

 

[NothingButTheTruth]

Y'all are brainwashed or y'all just can't see the bigger picture.

Ironic, considering that you can't see beyond your own point of view on this topic. Understand that legacy, your parents wants, and life for that matter have no objective meaning. That is to say that those things are only as valuable as an individual believes them to be.

Furthermore, both of those sides of this discussion have selfish motivators. If your desire to have children stems from you wanting to continue your legacy, satisfy your parents, or by the sense of fulfillment that comes from raising a child, then how are you any less selfish than the person who chooses not to have children because they enjoy having fun? Remember, perspective is everything.

"You have your way, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

Miss me with that perspective shit. The logic used in your first 2 paragraphs can be used to "rebut" any stance in any argument.

At the end of the day, y'all don't see the bigger picture of the whole thing. We'll see how all you guys feel when you're 50+ yrs. old with no seeds trying to live the "single" life or should I say lonely life.

Why do people swear someone who has no kids is going to be lonely? That was the original reason the thread premise failed in the first place. People say that shit like you don't have friends/family still. Like if you don't have kids all of a sudden everyone will just desert you in life like you're a social leper.

You will be lonely in the long run and/or you will be that older dude trying to hang with the young guys looking out of place.

People put their kids and family over everything and rightfully so. If you want to hang out with someone around your age, and their family or kids have something planned that day or the next day, guess what? You're getting put on permanent hold.

On average, people with the same status hang out together. Wealthy people hang with wealthy people, people with kids hang with people with kids etc.

 

[blackrain]

Y'all are brainwashed or y'all just can't see the bigger picture.

Ironic, considering that you can't see beyond your own point of view on this topic. Understand that legacy, your parents wants, and life for that matter have no objective meaning. That is to say that those things are only as valuable as an individual believes them to be.

Furthermore, both of those sides of this discussion have selfish motivators. If your desire to have children stems from you wanting to continue your legacy, satisfy your parents, or by the sense of fulfillment that comes from raising a child, then how are you any less selfish than the person who chooses not to have children because they enjoy having fun? Remember, perspective is everything.

"You have your way, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

Miss me with that perspective shit. The logic used in your first 2 paragraphs can be used to "rebut" any stance in any argument.

At the end of the day, y'all don't see the bigger picture of the whole thing. We'll see how all you guys feel when you're 50+ yrs. old with no seeds trying to live the "single" life or should I say lonely life.

Why do people swear someone who has no kids is going to be lonely? That was the original reason the thread premise failed in the first place. People say that shit like you don't have friends/family still. Like if you don't have kids all of a sudden everyone will just desert you in life like you're a social leper.

You will be lonely in the long run and/or you will be that older dude trying to hang with the young guys looking out of place.

People put their kids and family over everything and rightfully so. If you want to hang out with someone around your age, and their family or kids have something planned that day or the next day, guess what? You're getting put on permanent hold.

On average, people with the same status hang out together. Wealthy people hang with wealthy people, people with kids hang with people with kids etc.

That's simply not true being that plenty of people w/o kids live very social lives. Or even using your own example in the bold guess what that would mean. Childless people would then gravitate and hang out w/ other childless people which would mean those people wouldn't be lonely. No matter how you put it, what you're saying doesn't hold up to logic. As for getting put on permanent hold that's an exaggeration. Children don't take up 100% of your time, alot yes, but not all of. Ya'll making it seem like people with kids don't have lives away from their children. As if they never go out and hang out with their friends. Everything they do, they bring their child/ren with them. One of my friends has kids and I hit them up asking if they want to kick it and they can't because their child has something to do in the afternoon you know what they say "I'll hit you up when we get back and we can chill later that night."

 

[NothingButTheTruth]

Childless people at the age we're talking about are by far the minority, ESPECIALLY in the black community.

... and depending on their age, yes your children do take up damn near all of your FREE time, if you're a good parent. Why would I go to the club with one of my friends trying to pick up bitches when I already have my girl at home. Shit, I rather take my girl out and build on what me and her have.

The only thing I'm hitting friends up for is some kind of sports, like a basketball league or something. Basically, ain't no hanging out when I have children to raise and a wife to appease to. And to take it even further, if you want to have a successful marriage it is almost necessary that your girl is your best friend.

So like I said earlier, my friends are getting put on permanent hold and they may even get demoted to associate status.

Btw just to make it clear, I'm talking about a man with a career, kids AND a wife. Not a dude who knocked up some girl by mistake.