The rising counterculture of being an adult without kids.

[rockets]

bruh. personally i dont give a shit if the next Individual has a kid or not. But i DO think its silly to think otherwise.

Becuz the REALITY IS, most if u niggaz aint travelin overseas opening charities, u probably dont even donate to tha Salvation Army (thats funny right?). U aint inspiring others, U dont travel the world, the furthest u've probably ever been is to Jamaica or the Bahammas.

I'll be honest. I'd rather have A loyal woman who ages quickly, a bad ass disrespectful seed (or seeds), with us surving off of the SNAP program to make ends meet. Than be 51 with NO family (becuz ur folks WILL grow apart from you, believe that), no mortgage, endless frequent flyer miles with Nowhere to go, and a brand new Dime Piece who's nastier than the last chick.

I know u probably wont understand this now, but always being the "3rd Wheel" is just as bad as being the homie with Genital Warts at a House Party with your homies. Everybody is on 1 page and youre on another page entirely by yourself.

I'm not holding my breath or expecting to be the next Multi-Millionaire/Billionaire so I'm not gonna gas myself up like I cant be touched or sct like I'm the only person with a dream and a hustle.

If you think ultimately family will grow apart why you so intent on telling others they should have one? Like you truly think if one of your kids didn't get married or have kids that their siblings would just be like "Fuck them" and never speak to them? If you think that you passing on a messed up mentality

Thats not wat im saying and i dont even know how u got to that conclusion.

Im sorry but life is too unpredictable for me. So i appreciate a little bit of security and convienence. Coming home to a Golden Retriever isnt my idea of a companion or a void filler

Best real life scenario i can offer yall is my sister. Bitch got a Bachelors in Science or whatever and became a Veternarian like she literally always said she would.

She's such a professional and beast at her job they offered her a Promotion from a Government Facility in the DMV to the LEAD position at a facility in Northern Texas. She ran that entire facility practically all by herself.

Whole time she's been dealing with the same guy off and on for 10-11 years who already had a daighter of his own.

Long story short she ended up quitting her Career (making bank), living with her homegirls and her two dogs and literally going out 3 outta every 4 weekends a month just to settle down with this nigga and open up her own Restaurant (by herself). Now theyre both talking about Marrage and Kids. She'll be 30 this year and he'll be 35

*forgot to mention theyve been doing the long distance thing for a while now. if u consider "On & Off" still being long distance*

I mean, it sounds like to me that "new age Independent woman" shit got old. It looks like to me that being Single at 30 with a house full of chicks, pet animals, and red wine isnt the life.

So if i have a "poor man's view" on things Im definitely not getting these ideas from Poor People.

And if u cant have kids then i apologize to u Haute. Im not about that life wen it comes to making fun of ppl with certain issues

when is 30 old? your sister has plenty of time to start a family if she wants to.

or would you have rather her start one in her teens? Are you a hood nigga?

 

[Hyde Parke]

Didn't plan having my 1stborn , but when I found out he was coming, shit knocked me into a whole different mindset. Its one of if not the biggest responsibility an individual can have on this earth. Everybody has a different way of handling what comes at them

in life. for me, it made me take life at a different level. words I speak, how I handle

myself, and Educating myself not just for myself. I was 17 when he was born, and it never caused regret at not being able to miss out on partying and just thinking about myself. When a few of my homies died just living that life and being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I came to understand why I got blessed with my son. To each his own. The people who don't want kids for whatever reasons they have is already ahead of the ones

who have or planning to have them for ulterior motives

 

[rockets]

*mobile issue*

but bruh, u r obviously a troll or a youngin. I KNOW ppl who have traveled the world, been all over. My mother, father, myself, and sister just being a couple of them. And guess wat they all have in common?

I think becuz u can see the fire in my words as me being serious (tho i chalk it up as something totally different) that somehow u think Im in a rush to do whatever. Im 24, i still have a couple years left to get it in. But thats it, a couple years (give or take).

I literally eat, sleep, shit, and breathe Hip Hop. But i DO know how to seperate the Entertainment from the Music, the music from the Medicine. And im not about to listen to some WANNABE new age American (specifically Black) tell me about Love & not having children in my mid 20's wen we have the highest rates of Divorce, Children out of Wedlock, and Murder. Thats like askin Lindsay Lohan for Stock Tips or Suge Knight about quantom-pyschics. Unless you're living that life that Im tryna be strive for then fuck off with your advice lol #realtalk

he bolded made no sense. What does one have to do with the other? SMH......nevermind,

Two things: Never watched L &H H, but apparently you must know every episode. Basically I don't get the reference. Also I'm a female. Oh I see you're only 24. You're young and your vision is very narrow. You are forgiven. I now know you have to be really young and/or from the nastiest hood around if you think 30 is old. Hurry up and have as many children as you want.

New advise: Up your nutrition game so maybe you and your fam can live past 60, then maybe you won't think 30 is old.

 

[rockets]

im sorry i touched 1 of your scorned nerves boo. i just dont have to suscept to ignorance.

one of the ladies im talkin to now is potential Wifey and Mother of My Child material. We share some if the same views. Acknowledging that 30 isnt really the new 20 is one if them

Did you drop out of high school? just a question...

 

[rockets]

feelings caught, its okay, i SIMPathize with you.

but just becuz yall dont like the truth STILL doesnt negate the fact that the truth is the truth.

Black Americans are the only ones talkin this "30 is the new 20" bs, we're always talkin about Yolo and we're about that life when in reality its just that hard exterior shell of ours talking.

So saying that, we're literally have the highest divorce rate, the mkst children out of wedlock, the highest domestic violence rate, and on & on. So do u really think YOU @rockets know wat youre talking about when it comes to Family Values at 30+ with NO kids of your own?????? i think not

I think youre just trying to surpress an emotion that youre struggling with and dont know how quite to deal with it but set it off to the side.

No offense, but youre part of the reason y Black Men date outside the race. Its that type of thinking that makes you unfit for a Wife and unfit for a Mother. You have ideals that I want nothing to do with. Any woman who still sees her 30s the same way she sees her 20s has issues. Issues no grown man wants anything to do with

Wow. You sure know a lot about me. Can you tell em the next powerball numbers too? Unfit wife and mother? LOL/ How do you know Im not already a wife? Where did I say I was 30? And I didn't say I was blk. LOL. You wrote that long ass paragraph to a person that couldn't care less about you and you're life. I was just saying that people are different. You will learn as you get older. Right now your just a young buck know it all. Deal with those all the time. Just a question? Where are you getting your stats on divorce and domestic violence in blk communities? They seem rather skewed. Thank you for the laugh though.

 

[rockets]

if u cant comprehend why having kids is a great thing then its no wonder why u got problems that alot of ppl have gotten over years before u have

Oh and if you don't have children by 30, I think you should kill urself. It will probably be best for us all. And if you do have kids, tell them to kill themselves at 30 because that is where life ends.

 

[rooster_cogburn]

@Noodles McGrowcious

my dude, i hear your opinion, and actually if you outchea takin care of you seed, I fuckin salute that shit. real talk. but you cant be saying niggas catching feelings & you been capin for the kids for the last 6 pages. saying since a nigga dont have kids, he frankly dont know shit about life, but you know it all cuz you got some broad preggos. you been making extremes & worse case scenarios this whole fucking thread. no kids = no life, being a 3rd wheel, @ home lonely, etc...Nigga I aint NEVER been a 3rd wheel. never been lonely @ the crib. when my lady aint home, im loving every second. trust.

Let me tell you bout my aunt/uncle. They are both 50. She is an exec for All State, and he is an investigator for private firms. They travel the world, they make crazy $$, and they are MADLY in love. Been together since they were 20. They never wanted kids, never had them, and their lives couldnt be better.

Point is...there is life outside just popping out kids. Just respect some dont fucking want kids and leave it at that. Everybody situation different.

 

[black caesar]

You should be your motivation first then everyone else. You get no extra points for raising a child because that's what you should do but people don't. Me and my girl were established before we meet each other so that'll how it'll remain if we have children.

DASSSS IT!!!!

You should be especially driven to have purpose when you have kids even more so than those who dont

True, but reality is that it doesn't always work out that way.

By the way, no kids and doesn't want any post.

 

[hoodsavior]

I'm off the whole marriage/kid thing.. maybe its my era of hoes or what.. just not interested in having kids anymore or getting married

 

[deadeye]

Black Americans are the only ones talkin this "30 is the new 20" bs, we're always talkin about Yolo and we're about that life when in reality its just that hard exterior shell of ours talking.

So saying that, we're literally have the highest divorce rate, the mkst children out of wedlock, the highest domestic violence rate, and on & on.

Any woman who still sees her 30s the same way she sees her 20s has issues. Issues no grown man wants anything to do with

I'm confused.

When you start talking about how many children are born out of wedlock, it would seem as if you would be supportive of people who don't want to have kids and, as a result, wouldn't be contributing to that statistic.

Also, regarding the age thing, I don't think anyone is saying that they have the same mentality in their 30's that they did in their 20's.

Relatively speaking, 30 isn't really that old by today's standards.

Now, 50 or 60+ years ago, 30 was considered old because the average life expectancy during that time wasn't as high as it is now.

30 may be considered old for women in terms of child bearing...but I don't think most people would consider 30 to be old unless they're teenagers or in their early 20's.

 

[edwardnigma]

The human being in america wants to have an animalistic existance based on sense gratification

Thats an animal

wake,eat,roam,Sex,sleep and repeat. Never asking innate questions detaching themselves from

Spirituality,creation,responsibility,deep thought

The average american ive met wants no part of those things

Heand she dont have time for that

That aint gucci, nigga where the money at,gimme a molly,lets hit the club, and dance to talk of how we aint shit and we dont believe in god

Thats the american I met

Black white latino..not the asian

Not taking part in positivity is whats cool and hot to do here

 

[Mister B.]

I see something festering in this thread.

All the people caping for kids seem to base everyone else who chooses not to have kids as "selfish" or having no meaning to their lives, despite people's experiences of how good their lives have been w/o kids.

You guys are no better than crazy Christian Conservatives, forcing your belifes and POVs onto everyone by belittling everyone else's existances. Some sad shit.

You have kids, and that works for you. But what's good in YOUR life doesn't equate to everyone else's. Most people live meaningful exciting lives both now and WELL into retirement-ages, having no kids whatsoever. What's so hard to accept about that?

 

[edwardnigma]

Well life isnt about everything being good and dandy and skittles falling out of the sky.

If you was.ever gonna cape for something kids and a family id a good place to start

Even if you dont have kids, fucking mentor somebody!

Just give back

I mean god damn you people hate god hate kids hate relationships

And then get mad when somebody says your selfish or you aint shit.

it is what is,we gon call a spade a spade

 

[Mister B.]

Well life isnt about everything being good and dandy and skittles falling out of the sky.

If you was.ever gonna cape for something kids and a family id a good place to start

Even if you dont have kids, fucking mentor somebody!

Just give back

I mean god damn you people hate god hate kids hate relationships

And then get mad when somebody says your selfish or you aint shit.

it is what is,we gon call a spade a spade

I work at a high school, running both the computer labs, AND tutor elementary kids.

Stop assuming shit.

 

[Mister B.]

I know ppl who r married and cheat on each other. I know ppl who have everything they could ever ask for financially but dont have any kids and you can feel the sombreness in tha air when you come around.

And I know people who have kids and have regretted it, that tell me they wish they could be in my shoes. Your point?

 

[NoCompetition]

This is a 1 sided argument if ever i seen 1. Only 1 side has any anger on this subject. People see and thats part of the reason more arent choosing to join you In the stress game. Direct that anger somewhere else. You aint changing anybody's mind. Only enforcing what people are already seeing. To each his own.

 

[Mister B.]

I know ppl who r married and cheat on each other. I know ppl who have everything they could ever ask for financially but dont have any kids and you can feel the sombreness in tha air when you come around.

And I know people who have kids and have regretted it, that tell me they wish they could be in my shoes. Your point?

trying to counter that with cliche sarcasm used by people who actually are parents isnt anywhere near your lane so u can miss me with that and im pretty sure u can miss tha BILLIONS of other parents too.

And tell that to the parents that suffer from PTSD and murk their kids cause they can't take it anymore, too...

This is a 1 sided argument if ever i seen 1. Only 1 side has any anger on this subject. People see and thats part of the reason more arent choosing to join you In the stress game. Direct that anger somewhere else. You aint changing anybody's mind. Only enforcing what people are already seeing. To each his own.

THANK YOU!

 

[blackrain]

bruh. personally i dont give a shit if the next Individual has a kid or not. But i DO think its silly to think otherwise.

Becuz the REALITY IS, most if u niggaz aint travelin overseas opening charities, u probably dont even donate to tha Salvation Army (thats funny right?). U aint inspiring others, U dont travel the world, the furthest u've probably ever been is to Jamaica or the Bahammas.

I'll be honest. I'd rather have A loyal woman who ages quickly, a bad ass disrespectful seed (or seeds), with us surving off of the SNAP program to make ends meet. Than be 51 with NO family (becuz ur folks WILL grow apart from you, believe that), no mortgage, endless frequent flyer miles with Nowhere to go, and a brand new Dime Piece who's nastier than the last chick.

I know u probably wont understand this now, but always being the "3rd Wheel" is just as bad as being the homie with Genital Warts at a House Party with your homies. Everybody is on 1 page and youre on another page entirely by yourself.

I'm not holding my breath or expecting to be the next Multi-Millionaire/Billionaire so I'm not gonna gas myself up like I cant be touched or sct like I'm the only person with a dream and a hustle.

If you think ultimately family will grow apart why you so intent on telling others they should have one? Like you truly think if one of your kids didn't get married or have kids that their siblings would just be like "Fuck them" and never speak to them? If you think that you passing on a messed up mentality

Thats not wat im saying and i dont even know how u got to that conclusion.

Im sorry but life is too unpredictable for me. So i appreciate a little bit of security and convienence. Coming home to a Golden Retriever isnt my idea of a companion or a void filler

Best real life scenario i can offer yall is my sister. Bitch got a Bachelors in Science or whatever and became a Veternarian like she literally always said she would.

She's such a professional and beast at her job they offered her a Promotion from a Government Facility in the DMV to the LEAD position at a facility in Northern Texas. She ran that entire facility practically all by herself.

Whole time she's been dealing with the same guy off and on for 10-11 years who already had a daighter of his own.

Long story short she ended up quitting her Career (making bank), living with her homegirls and her two dogs and literally going out 3 outta every 4 weekends a month just to settle down with this nigga and open up her own Restaurant (by herself). Now theyre both talking about Marrage and Kids. She'll be 30 this year and he'll be 35

*forgot to mention theyve been doing the long distance thing for a while now. if u consider "On & Off" still being long distance*

I mean, it sounds like to me that "new age Independent woman" shit got old. It looks like to me that being Single at 30 with a house full of chicks, pet animals, and red wine isnt the life.

So if i have a "poor man's view" on things Im definitely not getting these ideas from Poor People.

And if u cant have kids then i apologize to u Haute. Im not about that life wen it comes to making fun of ppl with certain issues

Than be 51 with NO family (becuz ur folks WILL grow apart from you, believe that),

I got that idea because you actually said it. You making alot of assumptions about people's lives w/o knowing shit about them talking about somebody always being a third wheel, or being lonely. There's nothing that says for certain not being married and/or having kids means you're going to grow old and lonely but you are blatantly saying that

bruh stop being so antagonizing. Noone is going to wanna hang around some old ass 50-something year old couple with no kids of their own UNLESS yall r footing the bill for something (like a Cruise or a BBQ).

Other than that ppl are gonna be too busy living their own lives (with Family) as they see fit becuz you dont exactly benefit them in anyway since you dont really relate to them in anyway.

U c it all of the time i bet. Certain family members have money and everybody in the family calls them "white" but the second they throw an extravaganza everybody is there laughing with them or busting their balls like they werent just talking badly about them behind their backs 30 seconds before they pulled up to the spot.

What reality do u niggaz live in? There aint a dream in the world big enough to sell me to wanna give up the opportunity to create atleast ONE seed (regardless of how me and the mother work out).

Im an optomistic nigga (almost foolish by heart), i like to maintain a positive outlook on things and approach everybody with respect (even tho u can kill that in literally seconds if u come at me the wrong way). And to add to me being an optomistic nigga, my optomistic ass lives in a fact based world. And the divirce rate in America is at or close to 50%.

So with that in mind, like i said. There's not enough (European) materialistic possessions in the world for me to not drop a seed over. Even if it goes bad i can say that i still did it and hopefully if something were to ever go wrong between me and seed(s) (which i pray doesnt), i'll always have time to fix it. Whereas a wife i wont always have that opportunity (whether if its all on Me or Her or both).

Some of u niggaz iz really goin hard for Gay Marrage aint u. First its fuck bitches get money yolo and Single Life forever becuz Niggaz/Bitchez aint shit. Now yall talkin about not ever having kids like its supposed to be the new Enlightened thing to do.

Just admit it, some of yall really dont want anything to do with the opposite sex, theyre just Eye Candy. What u really want is someone with the same private parts u got. Keep it real niggaz, becuz Im not sold on this fool's gold idea of being Single Forever with No Children just partying and chilling with my homies all day.

You know what's funny, I actually do want kids one day but if it turns me into a self righteous prick like this I'd change my mind in a heartbeat so as not to pass this mentality on to another generation. Your whole view point is fucked up. You keep saying someone who doesn't have kids is going to be a third wheel, nobody is going to want them around...you do realize that at some point people's kids grow up and move on and out right? Why in the hell would somebody whose in their late 50's with kids still have their lives revolving around the day to day actions of their kids? That's the point of raising them, so they can go live their own lives and get the hell out your house, leaving you free to enjoy more free time in your later years hence being able to do things like hang out with your other old ass friends. You talking like any person who makes it to age 30 w/o kids becomes some sort of social leper who no longer serves any good to society in any way. You need to re-think your whole stance on parenthood.

 

[T. Sanford]

@Noodles McGrowcious

my dude, i hear your opinion, and actually if you outchea takin care of you seed, I fuckin salute that shit. real talk. but you cant be saying niggas catching feelings & you been capin for the kids for the last 6 pages. saying since a nigga dont have kids, he frankly dont know shit about life, but you know it all cuz you got some broad preggos. you been making extremes & worse case scenarios this whole fucking thread. no kids = no life, being a 3rd wheel, @ home lonely, etc...Nigga I aint NEVER been a 3rd wheel. never been lonely @ the crib. when my lady aint home, im loving every second. trust.



Let me tell you bout my aunt/uncle. They are both 50. She is an exec for All State, and he is an investigator for private firms. They travel the world, they make crazy $$, and they are MADLY in love. Been together since they were 20. They never wanted kids, never had them, and their lives couldnt be better.

Point is...there is life outside just popping out kids. Just respect some dont fucking want kids and leave it at that. Everybody situation different.

Goat @ bolded. That's living right there

I think most my generation in my area code think life is to brag about how many bishes they have or how bad they are but getting their pockets drained & ran thru by child support, working a dead end job (not career) or chicks having multiple kids with 5 different last names in their household. Only time they travel the world is when they are on the internet (including facebooking etc).

I pay homage to your aunt & uncle lifestyle, now that's golden living. Having heaven on earth

 

[Mister B.]

I think we're done here.

Noodles pretty much co-signed everything that I and @blackrain said.