For all my people here that DON'T have children.

[blackrain]

to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant shit at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-crack of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner

lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that shit. and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.

There's a bunch of shit in life that takes up time and energy. Some people just choose to devote that to their children. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all. I'm a strong proponent of not everyone should be or is meant to be a parent...but every time this topic comes up Kai you seem to take a real tone of talking down on anyone who expressed joy in having their kids. Like the concept of someone actually enjoying raising a child is just a foreign concept that nobody is actually truly happy about. Life in general has things and people you have to be responsible for. It has things that will require time and attention to where you can't always just get up and go if you want. Shit if you don't have kids but you have a job can you just up and leave your job at the drop of a hat, or do you have to put in for time off and plan in advance for a vacation? Everybody's life is controlled in a way by something...and it's not the worst thing in the world for some people to have a portion of their lives controlled by raising their kids.

 

[Beta]

I'll probably get this girl pregnant with how she looks within 5 months and thats fine I always wanted a kid.

Niggas kill me with the whole "I cant do w/e I want or travel to madagascar now with a kid"

First off, You wasnt going anyways

Second, If having a kid stops you from traveling forever than thats your fault

Foh I'm talking to my brother and he tells me every time he travels it's at least 10 gs cuz it's him, his wife and my nephew....and they travel at least 3 times a yr....I aint ready for that type of output

The kid ain't stop him from traveling though. Niggas like STEW think those trips to morrocco that he been planning just gonna stop lol

And how do you know this again? Or u just taking a wild guess at what my life would turn into.

All I'm saying is, kids ain't gonna halt things for you unless you allow it too. Take that bass out your keyboard B lol

:joy: yea, ok. Let us know how that goes when u decide to have one.

Give me until this time next year

 

[willhustle]

I'll be 35 in month and child-free. I never really don't see myself fathering any children at this point in my life. I have CP (disability) and I'm struggling to put my life together as it is and I've had a lot of set backs in my life since I was in my 20's but I've also had some success in certain areas in my life. Another thing is their is a lot of uncertainty with relationships today and I would prefer to find a woman without any kids (that's asking a lot) that share the same ideas/values as I do. A lot of these women out here I just don't understand. It's just that at this point in life I feel like if I ain't got kids by 40 then I'm just ride off into the "sunset" and live my life (if the Lord willing).

Having kids is a big sacrifice and responsibility and your life as you know it is over (socially). I don't want to have kids because of the society we live in now & because once you become a parent you are financially/legally responsible for anything they do out in the real world. I've been witnessed to my mom taking in both of my cousins (at different times) when they were teens and that really made me look at parenting different.

 

[MARIO_DRO]

I'm 32 and I do not have any kids. I'm happy I don't because I have freedom in my life, but one day.

...WELL TECHNICALLY, U GOTTA GET PUSSY TO HAVE KIDS... SO STOP ACTING LIKE ITS A CHOICE FOR U

 

[Shizlansky]

I'm 32 and I do not have any kids. I'm happy I don't because I have freedom in my life, but one day.

...WELL TECHNICALLY, U GOTTA GET PUSSY TO HAVE KIDS... SO STOP ACTING LIKE ITS A CHOICE FOR U

 

[Splackavelli]

it aint that important the world is going to end anyway. i'm not going to bring a kid into the apocalypse.

 

[blackrain]

I'd suggest every nigga in here get a bad chick as a friend.. Don't fall for her.. But just be the homie.. You'll learn a lot..

This is low-key one of the realest posts made. I have some friends that are baaaaadddd chicks and you learn not everything that glitters is gold for real. It'd be one thing if I had only one but this is a few of em that have you like dayum.

It's a goldmine of knowledge you learn just examining them and conversating about things.

Anytime this topic comes up majority of niggas start yapping about how its impossible to be friends with an attractive woman and how they serve no purpose if they're not fucking so this concept is lost to many

 

[blackrain]

I'll be 35 in month and child-free. I never really don't see myself fathering any children at this point in my life. I have CP (disability) and I'm struggling to put my life together as it is and I've had a lot of set backs in my life since I was in my 20's but I've also had some success in certain areas in my life. Another thing is their is a lot of uncertainty with relationships today and I would prefer to find a woman without any kids (that's asking a lot) that share the same ideas/values as I do. A lot of these women out here I just don't understand. It's just that at this point in life I feel like if I ain't got kids by 40 then I'm just ride off into the "sunset" and live my life (if the Lord willing).

Having kids is a big sacrifice and responsibility and your life as you know it is over (socially). I don't want to have kids because of the society we live in now & because once you become a parent you are financially/legally responsible for anything they do out in the real world. I've been witnessed to my mom taking in both of my cousins (at different times) when they were teens and that really made me look at parenting different.

What's this idea that you no longer have a social life because you have kids? That's just a lie

 

[Shizlansky]

You don't have to be friends with a "bad chick" to learn anything.

Bad chick logic is mostly flawed due to how they look and don't even have game to share.

 

[EmM HoLLa.]

Ah never mind.....

 

[Kwan Dai]

Very late to the party but children do grow up. You don't change diapers and need sitters for their entire lives. I can say my children have certainly helped me grow as a man and a person. It's eye opening when you have to live what you teach.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

You don't have to be friends with a "bad chick" to learn anything.

Bad chick logic is mostly flawed due to how they look and don't even have game to share.

smdh

 

[jetlifebih]

You don't have to be friends with a "bad chick" to learn anything.

Bad chick logic is mostly flawed due to how they look and don't even have game to share.

You supposed to absorb the game..look at it as the game being sold and not told, but you witnessing it

I'd suggest every nigga in here get a bad chick as a friend.. Don't fall for her.. But just be the homie.. You'll learn a lot..

This is low-key one of the realest posts made. I have some friends that are baaaaadddd chicks and you learn not everything that glitters is gold for real. It'd be one thing if I had only one but this is a few of em that have you like dayum.

It's a goldmine of knowledge you learn just examining them and conversating about things.

Anytime this topic comes up majority of niggas start yapping about how its impossible to be friends with an attractive woman and how they serve no purpose if they're not fucking so this concept is lost to many

It's the lack of experience...I used to be one of those niggas until I became friends with one....then it was like I lost my virginity all over again in the sense of me acting different...it was like I became enlightened....

 

[blackrain]

Very late to the party but children do grow up. You don't change diapers and need sitters for their entire lives. I can say my children have certainly helped me grow as a man and a person. It's eye opening when you have to live what you teach.

Yeah that's another thing...people talk as if your kids never grow up and learn to do shit for themselves. They're not babies forever

 

[AP21]

I told this in another thread

My friend met his wife(now ex) in a bar...they dated...she got pregnant...he felt he had to marry her...a year later than break up she takes the kid...he pays $1100 in alimony and $800 just to see his kid 1 hour supervision...the bitch lied n told a judge hes a abusive drunk n they took her word.....he so stressed he goes to a counselor...

thats his fault for getting a shitty lawyer

 

[Kai]

to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant shit at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-crack of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner

lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that shit. and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.

As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..

The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..

the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable

i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the god damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night

none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the bullshit i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks

 

[AP21]

Don't have any, don't want any if it happens it happens I don't wanna be 40 with my 1st kid if it happens, I'll throw my back out trynna hoop with him and shit lls

how old were you when you went "ooof" as you fell to the ground during that pickup game?

being 40 aint gon matter at all when you was doing it in ya early 20s

miss me with this Ax lol

 

[AP21]

for those of you on your high horses tom bout waiting to get married, you do know that if ya'll have kids, and ya'll get divorced, for whatever reason, she is now your baby mama too right? or is she the mother of your children b/c you put a ring on it?

let me know so i can see if i need to visit 2sides.com

LOL at this shit.

A woman divorced is an ex wife. At least the man thought enough of the woman to marry her, that says a lot.

As opposed to a broad that got some juice dumped in her, then got dumped.

thats whats up sway

glad you got the answers

 

[CapitalB]

to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant shit at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-crack of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner

lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that shit. and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.

As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..

The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..

the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable

i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the god damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night

none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the bullshit i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks

stopped reading at "zero hindrance"

who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai

zilch??!

 

[Kai]

to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant shit at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-crack of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner

lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that shit. and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.

There's a bunch of shit in life that takes up time and energy. Some people just choose to devote that to their children. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all. I'm a strong proponent of not everyone should be or is meant to be a parent...but every time this topic comes up Kai you seem to take a real tone of talking down on anyone who expressed joy in having their kids. Like the concept of someone actually enjoying raising a child is just a foreign concept that nobody is actually truly happy about. Life in general has things and people you have to be responsible for. It has things that will require time and attention to where you can't always just get up and go if you want. Shit if you don't have kids but you have a job can you just up and leave your job at the drop of a hat, or do you have to put in for time off and plan in advance for a vacation? Everybody's life is controlled in a way by something...and it's not the worst thing in the world for some people to have a portion of their lives controlled by raising their kids.

i have never talked down on anyone choosing to be a parent. all i am expressing is when i think of all that time and energy spent on those things, they do not seem desirable or enjoyable in any way to me. it's like a visceral reaction in me. that's how i know i don't want kids, everything in me screams no at the thought of it.

my work life is something that actually does bring me joy. i can see how it would be someone else's worse nightmare to be in a lab all day or doing tedious research, but it makes me happy. i know if i had kids, i'd fall way behind and i'd rather dedicate my time to that than to having kids. on a sidenote, i really could up and walk away from any job whenever i wanted since my man supports me and i really only work/go to school for my own fulfillment.

maybe i've gotten to used to only having to do what i want in my life, iunno, i consider that a blessing. but my days are my work, taking care of my man then spend the rest of my free time in peace and quiet and how i want to. i think my life is perfect and i have no need or desire to change it in anyway.