Fair or Foul: Women Anonymously Discuss Regretting Having Their Children and Becoming Single Mothers

[desertrain10]

In regards to reproductive rights...i agree...we will have to agree to disagree

Thankfully the Supreme Court share my sentiments...or at least they are sensible about the issue

We are closer to joining the rest of the developed world and retiring this tired debate

Also I agree that just because a person is aganist abortions doesnt mean they are a misogynist

But I'd also argue that a lot of the opposition to abortion is rooted in misogyny

There's a difference

And I'm not trying to demonize anyone. I would say its a reasonable conclusion to reach after so many debates with pro lifers, who refer to women as 'sluts' , ends with me being called an 'evil bitch'

That said, most extremist, idiots of any ideology or creed are guilty of charges you always level against feminist

Feminist, women don't hold a monopoly on hypocrisy

Men generally don't support gender equality if it does not benefit them, same as women

Shit...Given our capacity for violence and empathy, why would anyone want to identify as a human being

But I digress

With anything else in life, you have to wade through the bullshit and do your own research...

Otherwise its not really my responsibility to coddle you...

You were doing so good until your last couple of statements. Dropped some condescension. That's unusual for you.

You're a bad influence

Believe me though, my disagreements with you aren't rooted in ignorance, but ideological differences. Part of the reason I say feminism is bullshit is precisely because i have done research, enough research to know that almost every instance where feminists try to use actual data to back up their arguments, they fail. That leads to most of the hypocrisy, contradictions, and inconsistencies in the arguments.

You're right though. It would be more accurate to specify radical feminists when make most of my claims, but honestly radical feminism seems to have the most sway these days.

radical feminism seems to have the most sway these days?????

how sway??? seriously??? they definitely doesn't have any sway over our political leaders or courts

if they do, women have not benefited much

 

[desertrain10]

...

Men generally don't support gender equality if it does not benefit them, same as women

...

Wow, I couldn't disagree more. If anything, I see this from women.

Not that the IC is the best example, but there are only 1 or 2 female posters (out of the hundreds on here right) that ever speak out against or admit to double standards when those type of threads come up. If anything, they'll support it or not even respond to the thread.

Lol

And I see it mostly from men on here and irl

*shrugs*

 

[Melqart]

They recently passed a 12 weeks paid sick/maternity leave bullshit program in nys and I am already dreading the money wasted

... You would hate Jesus if he were alive today. Literally what you speak of in terms of economics is the antithesis of what he stood for. I honestly don't know why you're Christian

 

[zzombie]

They recently passed a 12 weeks paid sick/maternity leave bullshit program in nys and I am already dreading the money wasted

... You would hate Jesus if he were alive today. Literally what you speak of in terms of economics is the antithesis of what he stood for. I honestly don't know why you're Christian

forcing people to pay for something they don't want is not something i can see Jesus supporting... this program will be horrible economically for Ny... JUST BECAUSE A PROGRAM SOUND NICE and comes with soft heart intentions does NOT MEAN IT WILL HAVE NICE RESULTS... how many times are we going to have to learn the same lesson before you silly leftist understand.

New York state lawmakers are savoring their 15 minutes of fame for passing the most “progressive” paid family leave law in the nation.

“Reckless” is more like it. The law empowers the state to deduct funds from everyone’s paycheck to keep the new program afloat. How much? The law doesn’t say. Each year, state officials will decide on a percentage deduction, and you’ll see your paycheck shrink based on their decision.

New York’s new law is part of an alarming national trend of fixing social problems by looting workers’ paychecks.

Descending to a new low in shoddy governance, New York lawmakers didn’t crunch the numbers on the cost before voting to stick you with the tab. Gov. Andrew Cuomo guesses it will cost the average employee “roughly 70 cents a week the first year, and $1.40 a week by 2021.” Experts say it could cost five times that much.

Paid family medical leave sounds great. Who can deny the importance of caring for a newborn or a sick family member? But Albany lawmakers had their heads in a cloud. Democratic state Sen. Jeffrey Klein predicted “nobody will ever again have to choose between what their heart tells them to do and what their bank account allows them to do.”

That’s a liberal pipe dream.

In fact, more employees lose than win under this law.

More than three-quarters of private-sector jobs already provide for paid leave, according to the National Federation of Independent Business. If you’re a New Yorker with one of those jobs, you’re still going to have your paycheck shaved each week.



Until this month, only three states had paid family medical leave programs — California, New Jersey and Rhode Island — and payroll deductions there admittedly have sparked limited resistance. But New Yorkers are expected to be much bigger users of the program, jacking up costs and necessitating bigger payroll deductions than in these other states, explains Aparna Mathur of the American Enterprise Institute.

The New York program is phased in gradually, but by 2021 it will pay 67 percent of your wage (or the state’s average wage, whichever is less) for up to 12 weeks of leave, twice as long as New Jersey’s paid leave.

The new law caters to the lowest-income workers. They’ll pay the least into the system and collect benefits valued at many times what they’ve paid in. In fact, an unusual provision of the law enables part-time minimum-wage workers to collect 100 percent of wages when on leave.

People who earn more than $67,000 a year — the state average — get whacked. They pay a percentage of every dollar they earn — there is no cap on the payroll deduction — but their benefits are limited to what the average earner can collect.



The law also caters to child-bearing women. Single men have to pay in but seldom take leave.



Cuomo stretched the truth when he claimed that the new law won’t cost employers a penny. The $10 million in seed money for the program is skimmed off the state’s Workers’ Compensation Fund, paid into by employers.

The National Federation of Independent Business predicts that mom-and-pop businesses with just a few employees will be hit hardest by the requirement to give a worker 12 weeks’ leave and then guarantee their old job back.

Who gets the job done in the meantime?

Despite these concerns, advocates across the nation are demanding paid family leave legislation. In Connecticut, paid family leave groups are calling for 100 percent of pay, though they admit having no clue what that would cost.

Fueling these demands is a frightening attitude that workers’ paychecks are fair game for legal plunder. As if any social issue can be fixed by confiscating what one person earns and handing it to someone else.

Why not a payroll deduction to fund free college? Or other freebies? It won’t end until the people earning the paychecks fight back.
http://nypost.com/2016/04/12/how-you-end-up-paying-for-paid-family-leave/

 

[7figz]

...

Men generally don't support gender equality if it does not benefit them, same as women

...

Wow, I couldn't disagree more. If anything, I see this from women.

Not that the IC is the best example, but there are only 1 or 2 female posters (out of the hundreds on here right) that ever speak out against or admit to double standards when those type of threads come up. If anything, they'll support it or not even respond to the thread.

Lol

And I see it mostly from men on here and irl

*shrugs*

Somebody should do a poll on here - Who supports gender equality ?

What is meant by equality should be clearly defined. The 4 options should be:

Yes and I'm a male.

Yes and I'm a female.

No and I'm a male.

No and I'm a female.

 

[zzombie]

In reality men are not equal to women and women are not equal to men gender equality should be a fact of life only before the law.

 

[zzombie]

I think maternity leave should be something you pay into like retirement. If they did it that way, all the issues associated with it go away.

In NYC its something akin to how workers pay into Social Security

But its not completely employee or employer funded, tax dollars are used

I would take no issue with my tax dollars being used for such a program though

Hard to see anyone who claims to be pro-family would be

We are already paying for wars and other shared services that we may never use

so we should just keep throwing more bullshit on top of the pile??? is that your solution to everything??? let the government pay for it, a new program and new tax or an increase in tax is that how you want to solve social problems??

and what is this push to have america be like every other developed country?? america is america and we have to find solutions to our problems our way

 

[Splackavelli]

I heard a long time ago that our children choose us before they even arrive. Didn't seem to make sense to me for obvious reasons. But the more I pondered it the more I began to see they must have, how idk, but they both have certain qualities or aspect of themselves that I lack or chose to suppress. I feel now that, not only are our children suppose to learn from us and honor us(by being more/better than we were) but as parents we are to learn specific things from them, given that we don't thwart it out of them to fit or make our selves more comfortable in our own skin.

Gee I guess somewhere in the nether realms before some one chooses this life instead of finding a married woman who has her life situated some cruel soul finds a random woman or teenaged girl and says: " she looks nice and single has a lot going for her, is goal orientated etc. I'll choose her for a mother and ruin her life plans and destroy her body "

 

[AP21]

i aint tryna be funny but, sometimes, i be thinking, as the toilet flushes

"damn...one of them could've made it to the league"

 

[The Lonious Monk]

I think maternity leave should be something you pay into like retirement. If they did it that way, all the issues associated with it go away.

In NYC its something akin to how workers pay into Social Security

But its not completely employee or employer funded, tax dollars are used

I would take no issue with my tax dollars being used for such a program though

Hard to see anyone who claims to be pro-family would be

We are already paying for wars and other shared services that we may never use

Yeah, I'd be cool with that too with some tweaking. I don't know how much of a tax burden it should be.

You're a bad influence

I won't say that statement is wrong, but I don't condescend. My statements towards people are negative sometimes, but never without reason. I don't just talk down to anyone. If I didn't think you were worth having a discussion with, we wouldn't be having a discussion.

radical feminism seems to have the most sway these days?????

how sway??? seriously??? they definitely doesn't have any sway over our political leaders or courts

if they do, women have not benefited much

Maybe sway is the wrong word. I'll just say their voices ring out the loudest. Like I said, I don't agree with you, but you're a reasonable person. However, you catch a lot of flack on here because you're a feminist. The reason being is that people aren't necessarily arguing against you. They are arguing against their perceptions of feminism. There has to be a reason that the radical man hating feminist is the one people automatically default to when they think of feminism right?

I'm not really sure what you mean by it not having any effect on our political leaders though. Obama, Clinton, and a bunch of other politicians have literally spouted the bullshit stats that the radical feminists use. Any policy they create or push in an attempt to deal with those "problems" will benefit the cause of those radical feminists. Now will that benefit women? Maybe not. I don't believe radical feminism benefits anyone.

 

[Melqart]

I'm saying in general. No compassion for any one bro lol.

 

[T. Sanford]

I think it's fair because they are giving the other side of the game. Most these chicks think it's fairytales & act like they want trophies for doing things that's practically human nature. Like okay , "yeah, you took your son to get a haircut or yeah, you watching your son playing football on the field.......Do you want a cookie or medal for it?????"

Also, Let's keep it real. You know that nigga wasn't about shss because your conscious was telling you but you wanted to mold him like play-doh into an image that you wanted. Oh yeah, If you have a homie that doesn't see his kids then that's a sign that he is not to be trusted

 

[zzombie]

I'm saying in general. No compassion for any one bro lol.

In politics and economics compassion has to be pragmatism...

 

[south4life]

Alot of times women make themselves single parents.

A friend of mines went thru this last year with his ex-wife.

He married her when they were 27, they had their first child a year later and a second child 4 years later.

She has diabetes and he had to get a second job just to pay for her insulin.

Dude bust his ass everyday, i remember having to take him to work sometimes because his car broke down.

She took the kids and left him and now she goes around complaining about being a single mother but doesn't tell people that she did it to herself.

 

[deadeye]

Alot of times women make themselves single parents.

A friend of mines went thru this last year with his ex-wife.

He married her when they were 27, they had their first child a year later and a second child 4 years later.

She has diabetes and he had to get a second job just to pay for her insulin.

Dude bust his ass everyday, i remember having to take him to work sometimes because his car broke down.

She took the kids and left him and now she goes around complaining about being a single mother but doesn't tell people that she did it to herself.

@south4life

What was her reason for leaving him?

 

[south4life]

Alot of times women make themselves single parents.

A friend of mines went thru this last year with his ex-wife.

He married her when they were 27, they had their first child a year later and a second child 4 years later.

She has diabetes and he had to get a second job just to pay for her insulin.

Dude bust his ass everyday, i remember having to take him to work sometimes because his car broke down.

She took the kids and left him and now she goes around complaining about being a single mother but doesn't tell people that she did it to herself.

@south4life

What was her reason for leaving him?

A friend of hers went to his second job and was asking how she was doing because she had just got out the hospital.

While they were talking his manager (who is a female) came up to hug him and said that they needed to talk.

Her friend went back and told her he was cheating and she believed her and took the kids to Savannah.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

Where did you get this article, TS??? Stupidbitches.com ....Is being a single mother difficult at times?? YES but I've never regretted for one moment having my child. Being a single parent makes you stronger. It's the weak bitches that cry about what it prevents them from accomplishing what they want in life. Their child is not the problem. It's them.

have i said

te amo mi amor hoy

 

[Tyree23]

lol @ "Bein' a single mother isn't for everyone" its not for anyone fam. Even if you don't struggle with money, its a lonely existence

A single mother is an unmarried mother so are we talking about single mothers who have no father for their children and no family and no friends? Because yes I can see that being a lonely existence. otherwise it's just fucking hard if you have those things, some or all.

By single mother, I mean mother who doesn't live with her partner or isn't in a committed relationship with the child's father or a step father.

lol @ "Bein' a single mother isn't for everyone" its not for anyone fam. Even if you don't struggle with money, its a lonely existence

Is it? So you can't feel fulfilled without a man?

You can't be surrounded by friends and family and your child and feel whole?

I think that statement is a bit general.

Being a single parent is hard, but so are plenty of things in life.

It may be a general statement but its generally true. I never said you can't be fulfilled without a man. There are many ways to lead a full life without gettin' married or bein' in a long term relationship. This is about actual day to day life though. Its cool when your mum is nice and visits a lot and helps out and your friends come over every now and then to take the kid out and babysit so you can try get back out there but most days from after you wake up early to take the pitny dem to school, you're alone until they get back. Then when they do get back you can't have real conversations with them. I kno' parents all think their kids are smart and mature but its not the same as talkin' to an adult. After bed time its the same shit.

You could even have a job and a decent social life (rare) but still a child is a burden and if you have to suffer it alone, you're gonna be lonely.

Personally though, no sympathy from me man how you gettin' finessed into havin' a child? We all kno' men ain't a damn thing. The ones whose guys left after like 4 years though wooooo dirty.

I find it funny how everyone is saying these girls should have chosen better men, but no one is shaming the men when ultimately it was their decision to abandon their kids. Let's be honest, men are very good at hiding the fact that they not shit.

 

[jay83]

Tinder should be renamed the single mom app.

 

[xxCivicxx]

lol @ "Bein' a single mother isn't for everyone" its not for anyone fam. Even if you don't struggle with money, its a lonely existence

A single mother is an unmarried mother so are we talking about single mothers who have no father for their children and no family and no friends? Because yes I can see that being a lonely existence. otherwise it's just fucking hard if you have those things, some or all.

By single mother, I mean mother who doesn't live with her partner or isn't in a committed relationship with the child's father or a step father.

lol @ "Bein' a single mother isn't for everyone" its not for anyone fam. Even if you don't struggle with money, its a lonely existence

Is it? So you can't feel fulfilled without a man?

You can't be surrounded by friends and family and your child and feel whole?

I think that statement is a bit general.

Being a single parent is hard, but so are plenty of things in life.

It may be a general statement but its generally true. I never said you can't be fulfilled without a man. There are many ways to lead a full life without gettin' married or bein' in a long term relationship. This is about actual day to day life though. Its cool when your mum is nice and visits a lot and helps out and your friends come over every now and then to take the kid out and babysit so you can try get back out there but most days from after you wake up early to take the pitny dem to school, you're alone until they get back. Then when they do get back you can't have real conversations with them. I kno' parents all think their kids are smart and mature but its not the same as talkin' to an adult. After bed time its the same shit.

You could even have a job and a decent social life (rare) but still a child is a burden and if you have to suffer it alone, you're gonna be lonely.

Personally though, no sympathy from me man how you gettin' finessed into havin' a child? We all kno' men ain't a damn thing. The ones whose guys left after like 4 years though wooooo dirty.

I find it funny how everyone is saying these girls should have chosen better men, but no one is shaming the men when ultimately it was their decision to abandon their kids. Let's be honest, men are very good at hiding the fact that they not shit.

How so?

There are literally ALWAYS signs that a male or a female ain't shit

I dont speak on ain't shit males because they don't concern me and I don't keep any around me