Fellas: If you were dating a chick...

[Bussy_Getta]

im a product of divorce so i seen it first hand

i think i can speak on it

 

[The Lonious Monk]

so going to a movie with a friend is acting like yall together? smh im tellin yall, this jus seems like jealousy to me. its not a big deal. if they holding each otha and kissin n shyt i get it, but if not, its innocent.

the kid gon always hope moms and pops get back 2gther no matter what. even if u have another chick yo seed gon wish u get back wit they moms.

i jus dont see why yall dont admit its str-8 up jealousy. u scared ur chick/man gon re kindle some flame with the BM/BD. and if u are i understand ur position. but dont try to say its not jealousy and then post from the vantage point of an insecure ass nigga is all im sayin

What purpose does it serve? Would you let your chick go to a movie alone with a dude without a child involved? If not, then what difference does adding the child to the equation make? As I've said, I don't believe that display helps the child in anyway, so there is no real point in it.

And you can call it jealousy, insecurity, whatever makes your heart happy. To me, it's simply more baggage then I want do deal with. I don't want a ready made family to begin with, and I want even less to have worry about complex social dynamics involving my chick and another man.

 

[Bussy_Getta]

so you tellin me now that im older i dont see what was going on then???

c'mon bruh

 

[BlackThor356]

so going to a movie with a friend is acting like yall together? smh im tellin yall, this jus seems like jealousy to me. its not a big deal. if they holding each otha and kissin n shyt i get it, but if not, its innocent.

the kid gon always hope moms and pops get back 2gther no matter what. even if u have another chick yo seed gon wish u get back wit they moms.

i jus dont see why yall dont admit its str-8 up jealousy. u scared ur chick/man gon re kindle some flame with the BM/BD. and if u are i understand ur position. but dont try to say its not jealousy and then post from the vantage point of an insecure ass nigga is all im sayin

What purpose does it serve? Would you let your chick go to a movie alone with a dude without a child involved? If not, then what difference does adding the child to the equation make? As I've said, I don't believe that display helps the child in anyway, so there is no real point in it.

And you can call it jealousy, insecurity, whatever makes your heart happy. To me, it's simply more baggage then I want do deal with. I don't want a ready made family to begin with, and I want even less to have worry about complex social dynamics involving my chick and another man.

well i believe it helps the child, so thats where we differ. ive been the child and its helped me

and identifying it as insecurity makes my heart very happy lol

if i felt it didnt help the child i guess i wouldnt like it either

 

[desertrain10]

so going to a movie with a friend is acting like yall together?

LOL @ comparing someone you have a relationship/ sexual history with AND share a child with to a mere "friend".

key word is "history"

i'll even go as far as saying, if u cant hang out with ur BD as friends, that means u aint over buddy

Or just maybe I don't think "hanging out" is necessary or condusive to the well being of my child....and that would be the only reason why we'd be doing things together. I just don't happen to think that family trips to the movies are necessary.

Furthermore, I'm not on that "let's be friends" B.S. We wouldn't be "friends", we'd be co-parents with the same goals regarding the rearing of our child. My "friends" and I don't have children together. LOL

Eh, I digress, though.

spending time as a "family unit" isn't necessary.... but not necessarily disrespectful or a bad thing either....

don't see what yall trippin about if it doesn't happen a lot....

 

[Bussy_Getta]

so going to a movie with a friend is acting like yall together? smh im tellin yall, this jus seems like jealousy to me. its not a big deal. if they holding each otha and kissin n shyt i get it, but if not, its innocent.

the kid gon always hope moms and pops get back 2gther no matter what. even if u have another chick yo seed gon wish u get back wit they moms.

i jus dont see why yall dont admit its str-8 up jealousy. u scared ur chick/man gon re kindle some flame with the BM/BD. and if u are i understand ur position. but dont try to say its not jealousy and then post from the vantage point of an insecure ass nigga is all im sayin

What purpose does it serve? Would you let your chick go to a movie alone with a dude without a child involved? If not, then what difference does adding the child to the equation make? As I've said, I don't believe that display helps the child in anyway, so there is no real point in it.

And you can call it jealousy, insecurity, whatever makes your heart happy. To me, it's simply more baggage then I want do deal with. I don't want a ready made family to begin with, and I want even less to have worry about complex social dynamics involving my chick and another man.

seriously.....we really askin this question

 

[The Lonious Monk]

yall are taking the shit too seriously. an hour and some change trip to the movies to see the Lion King alone w/ your child and their mother/father every now and than is not a big deal.... how is that disrespectful? unless there are some underlining trust issues there

my parents and i went to dinner the other day without my father's wife ....it was nice. we have done it a lot throughout the years since i was young even though my father has been married to another woman for most of my life... my mother and step mother are actually good friends...and talk regularly...

Again, I don't see the point in it. It's not like I'm saying that I don't believe it can be done without a problem. It's not like I'm even saying that I'd have an issue with it if it was an isolated event here and there specifically requested by the kid. My whole point was that some of you were basically labeling this as a "Family Night" and saying it was a regular albeit infrequent thing. To me there is no place for that. BM and BD can be cordial without going on dates. What purpose does it serve? Now from your standpoint, you're older. I can understand that because ya'll can all chill together as peers, but it's different with a young child. Anyway, I'll repeat, I'm not saying it's wrong for the two parents to ever get together and do things for or with the child. I'm just saying that the "Family Night" shit is out of line IMO.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

well i believe it helps the child, so thats where we differ. ive been the child and its helped me

and identifying it as insecurity makes my heart very happy lol

if i felt it didnt help the child i guess i wouldnt like it either

Well, there is central disagreement, and we can agree to disagree. I mean I agree with you that it is good for the parents to get along, and I also agree that it's cool for them to be able to do things together for the child. I just don't agree that "Family Night" with a unit that isn't really a family helps the child in any way.

 

[BlackThor356]

bottom line

so going to a movie with a friend is acting like yall together? smh im tellin yall, this jus seems like jealousy to me. its not a big deal. if they holding each otha and kissin n shyt i get it, but if not, its innocent.

the kid gon always hope moms and pops get back 2gther no matter what. even if u have another chick yo seed gon wish u get back wit they moms.

i jus dont see why yall dont admit its str-8 up jealousy. u scared ur chick/man gon re kindle some flame with the BM/BD. and if u are i understand ur position. but dont try to say its not jealousy and then post from the vantage point of an insecure ass nigga is all im sayin

What purpose does it serve? Would you let your chick go to a movie alone with a dude without a child involved? If not, then what difference does adding the child to the equation make? As I've said, I don't believe that display helps the child in anyway, so there is no real point in it.

And you can call it jealousy, insecurity, whatever makes your heart happy. To me, it's simply more baggage then I want do deal with. I don't want a ready made family to begin with, and I want even less to have worry about complex social dynamics involving my chick and another man.

seriously.....we really askin this question

i think alot of people are more concerned with catching a cheater than a childs happiness

 

[blackrain]

yall are taking the shit too seriously. an hour and some change trip to the movies to see the Lion King alone w/ your child and their mother/father every now and than is not a big deal.... how is that disrespectful? unless there are some underlining trust issues there

my parents and i went to dinner the other day without my father's wife ....it was nice. we have done it a lot throughout the years since i was young even though my father has been married to another woman for most of my life... my mother and step mother are actually good friends...and talk regularly...

Again, I don't see the point in it. It's not like I'm saying that I don't believe it can be done without a problem. It's not like I'm even saying that I'd have an issue with it if it was an isolated event here and there specifically requested by the kid. My whole point was that some of you were basically labeling this as a "Family Night" and saying it was a regular albeit infrequent thing. To me there is no place for that. BM and BD can be cordial without going on dates. What purpose does it serve? Now from your standpoint, you're older. I can understand that because ya'll can all chill together as peers, but it's different with a young child. Anyway, I'll repeat, I'm not saying it's wrong for the two parents to ever get together and do things for or with the child. I'm just saying that the "Family Night" shit is out of line IMO.

how can something be regular but infrequent at the same time?

 

[J-GUTTA]

it took 4 pages for me to tell Loo he shares that girl. Ya'll slippin.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

i think alot of people are more concerned with catching a cheater than a childs happiness

That's not true. That's just the Straw Man argument you guys want to stick with.

In none of my posts have I said anything about cheating or even the relationship between the two adult parties. I specifically said I believe the whole idea is a hinderance to the child's ability to come to grips with the change in familial dynamics. If you want twist the argument into something else, and then attack that, that's fine, but it's wholly illogical and doesn't address the debate at hand at all.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

how can something be regular but infrequent at the same time?

Regular just means that something happen on a recurring basis. Infrequent means that there is a relatively long period separating recurrences.

 

[Bussy_Getta]

bottom line

so going to a movie with a friend is acting like yall together? smh im tellin yall, this jus seems like jealousy to me. its not a big deal. if they holding each otha and kissin n shyt i get it, but if not, its innocent.

the kid gon always hope moms and pops get back 2gther no matter what. even if u have another chick yo seed gon wish u get back wit they moms.

i jus dont see why yall dont admit its str-8 up jealousy. u scared ur chick/man gon re kindle some flame with the BM/BD. and if u are i understand ur position. but dont try to say its not jealousy and then post from the vantage point of an insecure ass nigga is all im sayin

What purpose does it serve? Would you let your chick go to a movie alone with a dude without a child involved? If not, then what difference does adding the child to the equation make? As I've said, I don't believe that display helps the child in anyway, so there is no real point in it.

And you can call it jealousy, insecurity, whatever makes your heart happy. To me, it's simply more baggage then I want do deal with. I don't want a ready made family to begin with, and I want even less to have worry about complex social dynamics involving my chick and another man.

seriously.....we really askin this question

i think alot of people are more concerned with catching a cheater than a childs happiness

yea i think so

we here on this >>>>>

 

[BlackThor356]

i think alot of people are more concerned with catching a cheater than a childs happiness

That's not true. That's just the Straw Man argument you guys want to stick with.

In none of my posts have I said anything about cheating or even the relationship between the two adult parties. I specifically said I believe the whole idea is a hinderance to the child's ability to come to grips with the change in familial dynamics. If you want twist the argument into something else, and then attack that, that's fine, but it's wholly illogical and doesn't address the debate at hand at all.

hmmmm i dont believe that post was directed at u fam. we alrdy identified our difference

 

[The Prodigalson]

Fuck all these paragraphs of saying the same shit over. If they want to play house in arelationship that was broken already, by all means go ahead. I'm not gonna get caught up in some weird ass triangle where my chick to get a few mulligan dates because she have a kid with another nigga. FOH, Find that person that would accept it cause I won't. Call it jealousy or whatever you want, but the one thing I won't be called is a fool.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

hmmmm i dont believe that post was directed at u fam. we alrdy identified our difference

My mistake. You quoted her post which was directed at me, so I thought yours was too.

 

[.American Loo]

loo made a good ass thread

but most of yall trippin

Thanks, but there really is no right/wrong answer here.

Everyone is entitled to feel how they feel on this one, I think.

 

[.American Loo]

it took 4 pages for me to tell Loo he shares that girl. Ya'll slippin.

I don't date single mothers and I have a kid.

One of the reasons is for this exact scenario, I wouldnt wanna be in it.

 

[J-GUTTA]

it took 4 pages for me to tell Loo he shares that girl. Ya'll slippin.

I don't date single mothers and I have a kid.

One of the reasons is for this exact scenario, I wouldnt wanna be in it.

As you know my situation is all the way fucked up. And for this very reason yo I don't date. I want that part of my life to make sense before I allow another women into my life.