Why are women so quick to jump in relationships?

[Dr.Chemix]

You had stated that it was in the beginning of the one year span that you said you wanted to take it slow and well a year is quite a long time not to know what page you each are on seeing that she is now bringing it up, didn't sound like you all had definite clarity in the matter. So if she's just seeing where you're at after a year I don't see what issue you may have. I'm slow like molasses but a year of TALKING? I might need your definition of "talking."

no I might need yours...

because what I have found people call it "talking" but it means they're in a relationship trial run. Meaning, they get the entire benefit package plus nagging for free.

And no, she brought this up at the infamous 6 month mark. We just recently had our final talk a couple of days ago...and it just struck me as odd, the whole thing.

Like I said, people go out for 3 dates, fuck on one of em and then happily get into a relationship with each other

To me, that's no different than whoring. It's not considered as such because of the relationship tag attached to it.

But it doesn't make sense. In 6 months how do you really expect to know someone??? For real??

Women settle down with anything because of 6 month talking time trial? The shit is ridiculous and utterly stupid.

There is no learning phase because they do it over and over and over again....

But then again, love was never an emotion...it has always been a choice...so I digress

 

[mryounggun]

no I might need yours...

because what I have found people call it "talking" but it means they're in a relationship trial run. Meaning, they get the entire benefit package plus nagging for free.

And no, she brought this up at the infamous 6 month mark. We just recently had our final talk a couple of days ago...and it just struck me as odd, the whole thing.

Like I said, people go out for 3 dates, fuck on one of em and then happily get into a relationship with each other

To me, that's no different than whoring. It's not considered as such because of the relationship tag attached to it.

But it doesn't make sense. In 6 months how do you really expect to know someone??? For real??

Women settle down with anything because of 6 month talking time trial? The shit is ridiculous and utterly stupid.

There is no learning phase because they do it over and over and over again....

But then again, love was never an emotion...it has always been a choice...so I digress

Man I fuck with you in these e-streets. You be making a lot of sense when you talk about different topics on the IC. But I think you bugging on this. if a year ain't long enough for you to decide if you want to be in a relationship my nigga, then...I dunno. Lol. Clearly you don't want to be in one. So why not just say, 'No, I don't want to be in a relationship with you.'. As opposed to 'I don't know. I'm still getting to know you.'?

Unless you said that. Lol. I may have missed that part.

 

[Dr.Chemix]

Man I fuck with you in these e-streets. You be making a lot of sense when you talk about different topics on the IC. But I think you bugging on this. if a year ain't long enough for you to decide if you want to be in a relationship my nigga, then...I dunno. Lol. Clearly you don't want to be in one. So why not just say, 'No, I don't want to be in a relationship with you.'. As opposed to 'I don't know. I'm still getting to know you.'?

Unless you said that. Lol. I may have missed that part.

lol!! yo I feel you b and I might be buggin yo, straight up

but I dunno...year just didn't feel like enough with her...

didn't feel justified...

its part of my nature to not follow rules...

and feeling like I was on some time table on the path to a relationship really bugged me out...

I hated that shit because it felt the focus will be drawn to the time factor

Instead of being drawn to us getting closer and evolving...

And that's probably one of the main reasons why I was hesitant...

But me keeping her around was unfair plus she wasn't having that anyway...

But shit, I wanted it to be more natural...it just felt like I was going through the motions

And that took away, IMO, more than it added...

I understand why she isn't down with that and why women (posters) reacted the way they did...

But 6 months or 1 year...in the end does it really matter when the relationship goes south?

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

no I might need yours...

because what I have found people call it "talking" but it means they're in a relationship trial run. Meaning, they get the entire benefit package plus nagging for free.

And no, she brought this up at the infamous 6 month mark. We just recently had our final talk a couple of days ago...and it just struck me as odd, the whole thing.

Like I said, people go out for 3 dates, fuck on one of em and then happily get into a relationship with each other

To me, that's no different than whoring. It's not considered as such because of the relationship tag attached to it.

But it doesn't make sense. In 6 months how do you really expect to know someone??? For real??

Women settle down with anything because of 6 month talking time trial? The shit is ridiculous and utterly stupid.

There is no learning phase because they do it over and over and over again....

But then again, love was never an emotion...it has always been a choice...so I digress

Where I'm from we would refer to talking as the stage before dating when you first meet someone and start.... talking. Some consider talking and dating to be the same thing. I don't even know at this point with all these different definitions I have heard. I will say that I am not a serial dater, I can't just jump into a relationship especially coming fresh from another, it's just not my style. I need time and personally 3 dates means nothing to me but what it means to each couple may differ. Depends on the people involved, the dynamic, those 3 dates etc.
Last man I dated was for a month and as good as those dates were I still wasn't ready to have sex so the concept of sex first, relationship after is well known however foreign to me. And while it's not something I am down with it happens all the time. It's not something I partake in but that's life. Just have to allow it and do what is right for you.

And I certainly don't think a year or few is enough time to feel like you know everything about someone let alone 6 months. You have to build and go through different things to really see a person and grow to love them. For me it's about becoming familiar with who the person is, how they operate, the way they handle situations etc. This all takes time and a lot of being in each others worlds. Through all of this you become more aware of where their head and heart is at. Now if I am unsure of whether or not I care to be with you and go through the motions of further growth in a monogamous relationship (which is the only kind I do) then I'm just not really that interested or invested.

And I don't necessarily believe that love is a choice. We certainly make a choice when we put ourselves out there in different situations and by making that choice we open ourselves to different possibilities and that's where I feel nature then takes it's course. I just know that for myself, it's all about that natural flow. I can't possibly know you within a year or two but I will know if we have chemistry and if we have that spark within a conversation or two.

 

[mryounggun]

Where I'm from we would refer to talking as the stage before dating when you first meet someone and start.... talking. I don't even know at this point with all these different definitions I have heard. I will say that I am not a serial dater, I can't just jump into a relationship especially coming fresh from another, it's just not my style. I need time and personally 3 dates means nothing to me but what it means to each couple may differ. Depends on the people involved, the dynamic, those 3 dates etc.
Last man I dated was for a month and as good as those dates were and I still wasn't ready to have sex so the concept of sex first, relationship after is well known however foreign to me. And while it's not something I can be down with it happens all the time.
And I certainly don't think a year or two is enough time to feel like you know everything about someone let alone 6 months. You have to build and go through different things to really see a person and grow to love them. That is what a relationship is about and if I am unsure of whether or not I care to be with you in a monogamous relationship (which is the only kind I do) then I'm just not really that interested or invested.

And I don't necessarily believe that love is a choice. We certainly make a choice when we put ourselves out there in different situations and by making that choice we open ourselves to different possibilities and that's where I feel nature then takes it's course. I just know that for myself, it's all about that natural flow. I can't possibly know you within a year or two but I will know if we have chemistry and if we have that spark within a conversation or two.

Exactly, this nigga Doc wanna skip the whole bf/gf phase. Get to know a women for 4 years...then propose. Lol. That's what it sound like. But to be honest, from your description the issue is just that she ain't what you wanted, B. No harm, no foul.

 

[PLASTIC RULES]

lol this nigga went from "he doesn't accurately display the persona of a gangster's profile"

to

"you ain't got the credentials out here to be talkin brolic on the internet"

yo shut the fuck up you confused nigga!!!!

You went from crying about some bitch asking you about the status of your relationship to defending your lacc of street sense and inability to read people with emotion-filled posts.

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

Exactly, this nigga Doc wanna skip the whole bf/gf phase. Get to know a women for 4 years...then propose. Lol. That's what it sound like. But to be honest, from your description the issue is just that she ain't what you wanted, B. No harm, no foul.

That's what I am thinking. I've never experienced anything like this, unless there is more to the story that we aren't aware of. I mean, you meet someone of interest today, decide to develop something romantic as it's beyond just friendship and then what? A year later and we are in the same place? We've remained stagnant? Or as you mentioned are we going from talking to marriage? That seems even more odd. What would the dynamic even be?

Like you said, hypothetically if a man is waiting around for me for that long and there isn't something else going on, he is most likely not who I want to be with or simply put he isn't my first choice. Some people do keep others around for convenience, as a back up plan etc.

 

[Tha Killa]

Good Gahley Ms. Mahley. How you been ma?

 

[Tha Killa]

To the thread topic though, I've been having that problem for a minute. I just keep it real with chicks on that from jump. Some get it and are cool with just chillin', talkin', fuckin', and that being the end-all-be-all of the situation. But some aren't comfortable NOT being in a relationship and when I see signs of them being like that, I leave them the fuck alone for the most part.

You been leadin' that girl on for a year tho? That's no bueno. I usually stop talking to chicks after a couple months and just move on.

 

[Dr.Chemix]

Where I'm from we would refer to talking as the stage before dating when you first meet someone and start.... talking. Some consider talking and dating to be the same thing. I don't even know at this point with all these different definitions I have heard. I will say that I am not a serial dater, I can't just jump into a relationship especially coming fresh from another, it's just not my style. I need time and personally 3 dates means nothing to me but what it means to each couple may differ. Depends on the people involved, the dynamic, those 3 dates etc.

Last man I dated was for a month and as good as those dates were I still wasn't ready to have sex so the concept of sex first, relationship after is well known however foreign to me. And while it's not something I am down with it happens all the time. It's not something I partake in but that's life. Just have to allow it and do what is right for you.

And I certainly don't think a year or few is enough time to feel like you know everything about someone let alone 6 months. You have to build and go through different things to really see a person and grow to love them. For me it's about becoming familiar with who the person is, how they operate, the way they handle situations etc. This all takes time and a lot of being in each others worlds. Through all of this you become more aware of where their head and heart is at. Now if I am unsure of whether or not I care to be with you and go through the motions of further growth in a monogamous relationship (which is the only kind I do) then I'm just not really that interested or invested.

And I don't necessarily believe that love is a choice. We certainly make a choice when we put ourselves out there in different situations and by making that choice we open ourselves to different possibilities and that's where I feel nature then takes it's course. I just know that for myself, it's all about that natural flow. I can't possibly know you within a year or two but I will know if we have chemistry and if we have that spark within a conversation or two.

Ok I definitely dig your response up until the love is a choice response...

A whole new thread can be built and discussed on that topic alone...

Because love is a choice...contrary to the popular belief

But let me say this, I know I'm not going to know everything about the person...

That's just impossible to even fathom...

I just want to know enough...

But other than that I dig ya post...

 

[Dr.Chemix]

You went from crying about some bitch asking you about the status of your relationship to defending your lacc of street sense and inability to read people with emotion-filled posts.

lmfao!! dog come up with your own plan of attack, instead of mirroring mines...

you school bus riding lil fucka...

Now go to bed!!!!

 

[Dr.Chemix]

Exactly, this nigga Doc wanna skip the whole bf/gf phase. Get to know a women for 4 years...then propose. Lol. That's what it sound like. But to be honest, from your description the issue is just that she ain't what you wanted, B. No harm, no foul.

yo!!!!! got me crackin da fuck up n shit!!!!! yo, that's exactly how I sound like yo!!! lol, thats some funny shit...ok ok I can dig what you two are saying...

That's what I am thinking. I've never experienced anything like this, unless there is more to the story that we aren't aware of. I mean, you meet someone of interest today, decide to develop something romantic as it's beyond just friendship and then what? A year later and we are in the same place? We've remained stagnant? Or as you mentioned are we going from talking to marriage? That seems even more odd. What would the dynamic even be?

Like you said, hypothetically if a man is waiting around for me for that long and there isn't something else going on, he is most likely not who I want to be with or simply put he isn't my first choice. Some people do keep others around for convenience, as a back up plan etc.

It's not that bad!!!! lol!!!

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

@ Killa-I've been super, thanks. And yourself?

Ok I definitely dig your response up until the love is a choice response...

A whole new thread can be built and discussed on that topic alone...

Because love is a choice...contrary to the popular belief

But let me say this, I know I'm not going to know everything about the person...

That's just impossible to even fathom...

I just want to know enough...

But other than that I dig ya post...

I think the choice is more so in whether or not we choose to allow ourselves to feel certain things and how much of ourselves we put out there and make available to others.

Ie. Many people have their limit, are fully aware of them and know when to hold themselves back from catching any feelings. They make it their choice not to put themselves out there to even be in the position to fall for someone. I've had situations happen where a man fell hard and quick and it was a shock to them perhaps because they haven't ever come across something they had then found and/or they are no longer hindering themselves from feeling such emotions. And by doing so they are allowing themselves to become more susceptible to what they receive from the person they are allowing to affect them. That barrier so to speak.

 

[Dr.Chemix]

@ Killa-I've been super, thanks. And yourself?

I think the choice is more so in whether or not we choose to allow ourselves to feel certain things and how much of ourselves we put out there and make available to others.

Ie. Many people have their limit, are fully aware of them and know when to hold themselves back from catching any feelings. They make it their choice not to put themselves out there to even be in the position to fall for someone. I've had situations happen where a man fell hard and quick and it was a shock to them perhaps because they haven't ever come across something they had then found and/or they are no longer hindering themselves from feeling such emotions. And by doing so they are allowing themselves to become more susceptible to what they receive from the person they are allowing to affect them. That barrier so to speak.

That is true. I'm a breathing example of it. I keep the corazon in a vault and don't put myself in those type of positions.

Because I choose not to like some chick...

Not making myself out to be this bonafide supa player, don't get me wrong...

but I do have my business associates and I keep it a certain level with them...

We scorpios never put ourselves out there like that...

And maybe that was part of the problem too with chicky chick...we both scorpios...bending our own principles are rarely an option easily afforded to us both...

We are stubborn people, for real...

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

That is true. I'm a breathing example of it. I keep the corazon in a vault and don't put myself in those type of positions.

Because I choose not to like some chick...

Not making myself out to be this bonafide supa player, don't get me wrong...

but I do have my business associates and I keep it a certain level with them...

We scorpios never put ourselves out there like that...

And maybe that was part of the problem too with chicky chick...we both scorpios...bending our own principles are rarely an option easily afforded to us both...

We are stubborn people, for real...

Uh oh.... No wonder!!

I too am a Scorpio and while I don't follow zodiac signs and horoscopes at all.....RUN......run far away. 2 Scorpios together are only good for a couple things and a relationship is not one of them!

 

[Dr.Chemix]

Uh oh.... No wonder!!

I too am a Scorpio and while I don't follow zodiac signs and horoscopes at all.....RUN......run far away. 2 Scorpios together are only good for a couple things and a relationship is not one of them!

what up scorpio!!!! shit I knew something was up with you, I couldn't call it...

But you say, run?? lol!! Yo know, when people seen us out together I wondered what they were thinking. Two strong minded and willed people going back and forth...but damn it worked yo. Then when it came to working out that frustration, shit was crazy!!! Shit be on and popping. Only three types of women can bring me to those levels. Pisces, leos and scorpios

For real, for it to last year is saying something in itself. When we first met...whew...yo, it was like the meeting of two storms. Our natural auras would cause some rebounds but we have come a long way since we first met. What some people might have figured out in 6 months, took us 12. Not including time apart...time necessary apart and other life factors.

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

what up scorpio!!!! shit I knew something was up with you, I couldn't call it...

But you say, run?? lol!! Yo know, when people seen us out together I wondered what they were thinking. Two strong minded and willed people going back and forth...but damn it worked yo. Then when it came to working out that frustration, shit was crazy!!! Shit be on and popping. Only three types of women can bring me to those levels. Pisces, leos and scorpios

For real, for it to last year is saying something in itself. When we first met...whew...yo, it was like the meeting of two storms. Our natural auras would cause some rebounds but we have come a long way since we first met. What some people might have figured out in 6 months, took us 12. Not including time apart...time necessary apart and other life factors.

Yes indeedy. October baby present.....speaking of which....

. Lol.
I was just teasing, I don't abide by zodiac laws or anything related. How silly would it be to dismiss someone you vibe with solely because of date of birth? :/
I will say that while I don't believe in it, they sure do guess a lot of correct Zodiac traits and characteristics correctly. Except for that jealous one, I don't fit the description but certain things they are on point with. My ex was a Scorp so yes, two Scorpios can work the best in some great ways while fail in others but hey that's just relationships and people.
Nevertheless I am enough Scorpio for the both of us

 

[6ft5]

October scorpio post!

 

[Dr.Chemix]

Yes indeedy. October baby present.....speaking of which....

. Lol.
I was just teasing, I don't abide by zodiac laws or anything related. How silly would it be to dismiss someone you vibe with solely because of date of birth? :/
I will say that while I don't believe in it, they sure do guess a lot of correct Zodiac traits and characteristics correctly. Except for that jealous one, I don't fit the description but certain things they are on point with. My ex was a Scorp so yes, two Scorpios can work the best in some great ways while fail in others but hey that's just relationships and people.
Nevertheless I am enough Scorpio for the both of us

ha, spoken like a true scorpio...with mad confidence!! Man I didn't believe in that shit either at one point but they drop some true shit on the signs. I don't follow like, everyday I gotta check my horoscope or anything like that...but when it comes to compability its on point. Like for instance, there are few aries I can get along with and I wouldn't possibly pursue a relationship if the woman is aries. Now if it's a pisces, I know our sex is going to be bomb but her head is going to be in the clouds. It is what it is.

How long you two scorps were stinging each other for?

October scorpio post!

I knew you were a cool nigga for some reason

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

October scorpio post!

:O

We up in here like Puerto Ricans talking about their heritage, repping it like a gang.