Why are women so quick to jump in relationships?

[7figz]

I think hes joking or hes a youngin.Or that nigga is insane.

Man honestly, if it's going ok for both people - then it shouldn't have to change just because other people think something is wrong with it.

In this case, that's her option so she has the choice to say what she said to T.S.

I been with my girl for a few years and always have somebody askin shit about when we gettin married....

I'm like yo STFU when and IF we want to.

Even got a divorced bitch asking me this.

 

[im_lux]

Umm i hate to tell ya'll but unless these are lesbians you're speaking of niggaz are doin it too.

There is too much emphasis on being single or not. The label of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" is heavily weighted. Everyone wants a "positive" label no matter how stupid and counter productive it may become.

Most men and women jump into relationships just to avoid being single knowing full well the person they're dating isn't marriage material. I'm sorry but I don't see the point in calling someone "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" if you don't see or think you could marry or have kids with if of course that is your ultimate relationship goal.

But ultimately women couldn't jump into relationships hella quick if the men aren't there to enable them. Just sayin. Some of ya'll men need backbones and let these broads know ya'll just fuckin until further notice.

 

[-Vincenzo-]

Umm i hate to tell ya'll but unless these are lesbians you're speaking of niggaz are doin it too.

There is too much emphasis on being single or not. The label of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" is heavily weighted. Everyone wants a "positive" label no matter how stupid and counter productive it may become.

Most men and women jump into relationships just to avoid being single knowing full well the person they're dating isn't marriage material. I'm sorry but I don't see the point in calling someone "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" if you don't see or think you could marry or have kids with if of course that is your ultimate relationship goal.

But ultimately women couldn't jump into relationships hella quick if the men aren't there to enable them. Just sayin. Some of ya'll men need backbones and let these broads know ya'll just fuckin until further notice.

i don't know many men like the ones you just described to be honest...but i sure do know a lot of girls who are too unstable to stay single for longer than 3 months though, which rules them out for anything serious imo

 

[noirwar]

Most times when men say they wanna take it slow they also don't want to share you so that puts the woman in an awkward position. Or the man is contradictory in his words and actions. He wants to take it slow but y'all have spent the past week together and he pretty much treats u like an actual girlfriend. Niggas don't know what they want sometimes.

That is where smart women take the game over. They don't allow for the awkwardness to creep in they play it straight and continue to make moves.

 

[Dr.Chemix]

After skimming some of the posts I have to say this...

First I am man who is unconventional. It seems that most who responded are approaching it with conventional methods. A year is a long time? Okay, let me break it down. I have not spent 365 days with her. We spend time when its possible but we have known each other for some time. And really what's the rush for? How is a year a long time? So six months is adequate for learning and knowing your lover??

Its the problem I see with so many people. They jump in relationships not knowing how to work their significant other. People approach relationships like mandatory appointment setting. First they rush to get into a relationship. Then they rush to change other. Its a love hard and die fast scheme.

I did not lie or say anything that lead her to believe otherwise. I approached her with my genuine thoughts and feelings on the matter. Anything that stands the test of time is built with a slow, meticulous approach. For example, pyramids were built as soon as the pharoah began King...not two or three months before his death. It takes time to build something that can be untarnished by so many factors in the world today that can destroy a relationship.

And truly people are not ready for such deeper perspective and understanding of a loving union. So many people have tailored their lives to "rules" without considering the significance to a true relationship.

IMO, a year together was phenomenal. Imagine if we would have been together longer. Most are thinking, "well, would you have committed...would it have been a waste of time". No. Why are we even thinking like that when I could have ultimately gained a friend who is closer to me than most would have considered. Why must things be so superficial?

We, as people, have grown to enjoy the surface of things in our lives instead of taking the time to allow the roots to nestle into the soil. We expect love to grow fast like it's some Chia Pet or something.

If we were to naturally reach that zenith instead of searching for an audible answer to a contract then I believe the bond would be that much stronger. Relationships are prone to failure because we perceive them to fail because, in the back of our minds, we don't expect them to last. We expect the revolving door. You love someone. Then you find out they're a piece of shit. You talk bad about them. Then you separate only to find yourself repeating the same steps over again. When will people learn?

I just don't see the sense in getting a relationship or "talking" (which is another way of saying you agreed to relationship terms) with someone in an allotted time, just because time deems that you two have surpassed the talking period and must proceed to relationship period. It doesn't make sense.

Grow natural or not at all...

 

[bayarea88]

I think you're totally right for taking your time and all that, but did you honestly think the relationship was ever going to be more than what it was? I guess did you ever during that time think that you would want to be with the person long-term? just wondering..

 

[Dr.Chemix]

I think you're totally right for taking your time and all that, but did you honestly think the relationship was ever going to be more than what it was? I guess did you ever during that time think that you would want to be with the person long-term? just wondering..

To answer your question, no. I didn't approach her with the thought in mind that we would be in a relationship.

I prefer to keep an open mind. Most daters are contradictions. They say they're looking for someone but go on dates already believing that the person they're dating is the next lover to be theirs to love. To me, that is a backwards type of thinking. How are you to see the core and understand a person if you're already thinking about getting to that relationship phase...

I say enjoy the ride...and stop asking "are we there yet?"...we are missing some beautiful and important views along the way...

 

[bayarea88]

why are we even thinking like that when I could have ultimately gained a friend who is closer to me than most would have considered. Why must things be so superficial? .

That's the funny thing I'm learning, it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to just be "friends" with a woman, especially if you guys are having sex consistently. And Don't let the sex be some crazy out of this world shit with puddles of cum everywhere. All of the stuff you are describing above is damn near impossible with a woman when the element of consistent sex is there. They're going to want more and whatever "deep friend" or whatever you thought you had goes out the window. Ultimately, she will find some dude who is willing to be with her on more "official" terms and you will be an after-thought. I mean sure she may pick up your calls from time to time or you may fuck every blue moon, but priority still goes to the new dude in her life. Isn't that how it really goes?

I'm also learning that sometimes IT DOESN'T matter if you tell the girl you don't want a relationship, just wanna fuck, blah blah blah. That's the least you can do if you don't wanna go there but even that isn't enough. IF the person is feeling you, they will hold on with some un-rationalized belief system that maybe one day you will magically be hers. I think Kai was right above where a women can save herself a lot of time by sensing this and being strong but that is far from the case with like 99.8% of women. Hell, I'm sure she was even once that woman so she learned from that experience...

 

[bayarea88]

To answer your question, no. I didn't approach her with the thought in mind that we would be in a relationship.

I prefer to keep an open mind. Most daters are contradictions. They say they're looking for someone but go on dates already believing that the person they're dating is the next lover to be theirs to love. To me, that is a backwards type of thinking. How are you to see the core and understand a person if you're already thinking about getting to that relationship phase...

I say enjoy the ride...and stop asking "are we there yet?"...we are missing some beautiful and important views along the way...

I guess if you didn't expect anything going in, you shouldn't be surprised that this women is now hitting you with the "progress" talk. I reason I think a lot of people in this thread are saying "1 YEAR OMG?!!" is because most things get ironed out within that time frame. It's like most girls I've know have hit me with that talk as little as 2-3 weeks in so the fact that this girl went a year was probably cuz she was seeing somebody else at the time as well and didn't have any real expectations herself. Then the side dude fucked up and you were just there. Either way, its' never really up to us anyway lol....we an can set all the "boundaries" we want but at end of the day her feelings trump whatever the fuck we thought we "established."

 

[Dr.Chemix]

That's the funny thing I'm learning, it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to just be "friends" with a woman, especially if you guys are having sex consistently. And Don't let the sex be some crazy out of this world shit with puddles of cum everywhere. All of the stuff you are describing above is damn near impossible with a woman when the element of consistent sex is there. They're going to want more and whatever "deep friend" or whatever you thought you had goes out the window. Ultimately, she will find some dude who is willing to be with her on more "official" terms and you will be an after-thought. I mean sure she may pick up your calls from time to time or you may fuck every blue moon, but priority still goes to the new dude in her life. Isn't that how it really goes?

I'm also learning that sometimes IT DOESN'T matter if you tell the girl you don't want a relationship, just wanna fuck, blah blah blah. That's the least you can do if you don't wanna go there but even that isn't enough. IF the person is feeling you, they will hold on with some un-rationalized belief system that maybe one day you will magically be hers. I think Kai was right above where a women can save herself a lot of time by sensing this and being strong but that is far from the case with like 99.8% of women. Hell, I'm sure she was even once that woman so she learned from that experience...

yes, I feel you...

And its what I know...

But I can't help but scratch my head, because they will continue to do the same thing...

And they will do it without the consideration of growth...only a very few women understand this, usually older ones...

It's unfortunate because she will find that dude. And then that relationship will crumble just based on the love fast die hard theory...

How can we grow as human beings if we cannot step outside of ourselves and look at the repeated steps we took to lead us to the same point?

Especially in this day and age where relationships can be destroyed over a status update or a tweet.

Shouldn't the time allowed to create the foundation be appreciated as a time of growth instead of being looked at as a time wasted? Any martial artist can tell you, to perfect their style takes years. It's an art form to love someone completely. People do not understand this and continue to compare their relationships to unreal models of what it should be like. Or what their silly friends imagined it to be.

 

[PILL_COSBY]

Yesterday I'm talking to one of my chicas and she hits me with the progress report conversation. Ya know, the "where are we going from here" type of talk. We have been talking for a year but I've told her in the beginning that I'm into taking it slow. I want to get to know her more. Rushing into relationships is not my cup of liquor. Well she tells me she cant do it no more with me, she wants a relationship with me. Of course I cannot do that at this time.

It's a pattern that I don't commit to and I see often with these women. They exchange numbers with a man, go out for two or three dates, have sex on one of em and then they are ready to be in a relationship. I am convinced this is just how they roll in this state. Only a very few understand my rather unique approach on dating and relationships.

What is your take on the situation? How long do you date someone before commitment? Is it a "flow" vibe where you two just naturally hook up?

Just give me some feedback. I don't even understand why after a year she wants to just close it when we having a good time. I do understand, but then I don't

ladies, this is the type of man you need to avoid if you trying to look for a companion or a husband. The girl is really not wrong in this because of the simple fact that she is a woman(i'm bout to catch some heat). We all know how most(not all) women get when it comes to love and attention. Us as men know exactly what type of chicks we can play on almost the moment we meet them.

Bruh, let that girl go and let her fall into the arms of a nigga who wants what she wants.

 

[Dr.Chemix]

I guess if you didn't expect anything going in, you shouldn't be surprised that this women is now hitting you with the "progress" talk. I reason I think a lot of people in this thread are saying "1 YEAR OMG?!!" is because most things get ironed out within that time frame. It's like most girls I've know have hit me with that talk as little as 2-3 weeks in so the fact that this girl went a year was probably cuz she was seeing somebody else at the time as well and didn't have any real expectations herself. Then the side dude fucked up and you were just there. Either way, its' never really up to us anyway lol....we an can set all the "boundaries" we want but at end of the day her feelings trump whatever the fuck we thought we "established."

Exactly at the bolded. People have reacted as if I spent 365 days with her and still dismissed her wants of relationship. This is not the case.

I know the rules and I do understand the game...

Like I said, sometimes I just scratch my head because I can't see the sense in it...

And I wonder why plenty of women have not evolved their thinking on the matter...

Some have, many have not.

 

[bayarea88]

That's just not the world we live in unfortunately...had to learn this one the hard way. We can aknowledge and have all the damn proof in front of our eyes but it doesn't mean thats the way things are really gunna go

 

[Dr.Chemix]

ladies, this is the type of man you need to avoid if you trying to look for a companion or a husband. The girl is really not wrong in this because of the simple fact that she is a woman(i'm bout to catch some heat). We all know how most(not all) women get when it comes to love and attention. Us as men know exactly what type of chicks we can play on almost the moment we meet them.

Bruh, let that girl go and let her fall into the arms of a nigga who wants what she wants.

^yo I hate when dudes do this shit...

Yo man, take that shit back to wherever you found it...stop trying to get some pussy points...

And take that cape back to the cleaners yo...

 

[5th Letter]

a year is good enough time, how much more time you need to decide whether you wanna commit to her?

 

[taeboo]

I don't think anyone here was trying to say that you should marry the chick, but how can you not make a decision if you want to date her exclusively or not?

 

[Dr.Chemix]

I know its not the world we live in. Trust me, I know the game. But I have met women who think and agree with exactly what I'm saying. Because a dude is ready to settle down with you in 6 months still doesn't mean you got the right man or that you know how to communicate your feelings to em. That's my point. My point is as well as that we have created rules as a society that are now "out dated" if you will, in a society that is heavily motivated by media and social websites.

What matters is getting to know your lover. The potential mate that is before you could be the person that you were born to love, your destiny. But how can you possibly see that when you are worried more about how long the dating period has been instead of understanding what drives that significant other to be the person that they are. Shouldn't you learn these things to better supplement your lover? To know when you should just shut up or when to say something?

So many people are in relationships and they don't know shit about their lover. They are in relationships but still are in that "getting to know" phase.

I, as a man, prefer to allow not time to be factor but to appreciate what slowly builds between us two than to just hook up within 3 months and I'm not sure what upsets you or what doesn't. Why else do we have so many failed relationships now in this world? We have too many children being raised with one parent or none at all. Shouldn't we as a whole generation look at this and make better choices in selection?

 

[Dr.Chemix]

a year is good enough time, how much more time you need to decide whether you wanna commit to her?

lol, commit?! Yo, why does it have to be a now or never type thing though? It's like the gun is to the head. Why can't we just enjoy the cruise on the way there

 

[taeboo]

I know its not the world we live in. Trust me, I know the game. But I have met women who think and agree with exactly what I'm saying. Because a dude is ready to settle down with you in 6 months still doesn't mean you got the right man or that you know how to communicate your feelings to em. That's my point. My point is as well as that we have created rules as a society that are now "out dated" if you will, in a society that is heavily motivated by media and social websites.

What matters is getting to know your lover. The potential mate that is before you could be the person that you were born to love, your destiny. But how can you possibly see that when you are worried more about how long the dating period has been instead of understanding what drives that significant other to be the person that they are. Shouldn't you learn these things to better supplement your lover? To know when you should just shut up or when to say something?

So many people are in relationships and they don't know shit about their lover. They are in relationships but still are in that "getting to know" phase.

I, as a man, prefer to allow not time to be factor but to appreciate what slowly builds between us two than to just hook up within 3 months and I'm not sure what upsets you or what doesn't. Why else do we have so many failed relationships now in this world? We have too many children being raised with one parent or none at all. Shouldn't we as a whole generation look at this and make better choices in selection?

So was this woman hinting at marriage or an exclusive realtionship?

 

[Dr.Chemix]

So was this woman hinting at marriage or an exclusive realtionship?

hinting at exclusive...

She's been wanting that with me since the second month...not my style...