What's The Most Cringeworthiest Thing You've Ever Done?

[PanchoYoSancho]

Forgot to pull out :#

But seriously, its usually been sex related. I used to get a little gassy when taking my meds and would be farting heavy. Mad awkward letting one rip when you're stroking. Even worse if she's down near the danger zone giving head. Uncomfortable as Hell having to stop your woman from sucking your dick so you can let the air out.

Tho not as awkward as having her fart on me when Im fucking her from behind.

 

[twenty2]

Few years back I pulled this cute chick at the gig to the side to tell her she needed to make her way to the bathroom cuz she had some toner smeared on her forehead. Broad eyes got buck, she took a step back and said, "Uhh... It's Ash Wednesday!"

Yeah... Facepalm if I ever felt I deserved one.

 

[MallyG]

I was in the mall and this woman waved at me so I waved back and then I realized she was waving at the girl that was behind me...

Ol' girl had Beta like.....

 

[CeLLaR-DooR]

Was at a mates 21st birthday, was off my tits on pills.

Pulled a chick was gunna walk back to hers, due to my height she thought it would be fun to get on my shoulders while we walk back.

I get down, she gets on, I rise up and in my heavily fucked up state I just planted forward and she hit the deck.

Still went back to hers, fucked woke up to morning head. Then her 3 kids (who I wasn’t aware she had) returned home with her mother who was sitting for the night.

Got introduced all whilst both naked under the covers and kids jumping around, was so fucked up couldn’t even remember her name she had to put her name/number in my phone.

Harassed me for weeks after that.

GOAT night

 

[BIGG WILL]

Was in Basic Training for over a month at this time. It was a Sunday, so we were all chillin in the barracks. Was feeling a lil backed up, so I go the bathroom to rub one out. I get in there and handle my biz. I clean up and walk back into the open bay, and I swear I felt so good, my feet wasn't even touching the floor. I get bout halfway to my bunk and dude yells out, "Holy shit dude, U got Jizz all over the back of your pants!" I'm like hell nah, run back in the bathroom to look in the mirror and its mfing cum every where.

Shit was embarrassing af, but fuck it, it had to be released.

Spoiler

And I still don't know how it got back there.

 

[KingFreeman]

In high school I had dreads and had a coon moment one day when I thought I was in the lookerroom alone and swanked my hair after coming out the shower. My nigga was in the cut like "did you just swank your hair dawg?... YO THIS NIGGA JUST SWANKED HIS HAIR!"

Mans clowned for 2 weeks.

 

[Trollio]

Was in Basic Training for over a month at this time. It was a Sunday, so we were all chillin in the barracks. Was feeling a lil backed up, so I go the bathroom to rub one out. I get in there and handle my biz. I clean up and walk back into the open bay, and I swear I felt so good, my feet wasn't even touching the floor. I get bout halfway to my bunk and dude yells out, "Holy shit dude, U got Jizz all over the back of your pants!" I'm like hell nah, run back in the bathroom to look in the mirror and its mfing cum every where.

Shit was embarrassing af, but fuck it, it had to be released.

Spoiler

And I still don't know how it got back there.

Ask yo bf fag

 

[BobOblah]

I was in the mall and this woman waved at me so I waved back and then I realized she was waving at the girl that was behind me...

My first semester of college I waved at a hot girl I was starting to get to know, while holding a salad that wasn’t properly closed. Dumped it everywhere in the hall mid wave. Still might kill myself.

 

[Idiopathic Joker]

Was in Basic Training for over a month at this time. It was a Sunday, so we were all chillin in the barracks. Was feeling a lil backed up, so I go the bathroom to rub one out. I get in there and handle my biz. I clean up and walk back into the open bay, and I swear I felt so good, my feet wasn't even touching the floor. I get bout halfway to my bunk and dude yells out, "Holy shit dude, U got Jizz all over the back of your pants!" I'm like hell nah, run back in the bathroom to look in the mirror and its mfing cum every where.

Shit was embarrassing af, but fuck it, it had to be released.

Spoiler

And I still don't know how it got back there.

I've wacked it several thousand times in several hundred places. Never once had I got semen anywhere but a paper towel or toilet paper. But i guess there's a first time for everything.

 

[KingFreeman]

Got clowned to oblivion for rocking these in grade 12. Thought I was gonna kill em when I bought it too.

 

[Germz101]

Begged a chick to take me back...shit should be a jail sentence tied to that shit

 

[gorilla]

Was at a party with my lil bro, we talking to these two chicks. Chick Im talking to keep looking at him asking if he was ok, Im like yeah lil nigga just cant handle his liquor. All of a sudden he throws the fuck up.

I take him out to the car, put him in, cracked the window, locked the door and went back in. Chick I was talking to asked me where he was, I told her, she laughed and said I wasnt shit whoopty whoop, I fucked. (Tried to get her girl to join too)

Afterwards went and hopped in the car. My bro woke up like wtf happened, Im like nothin and drove us home.

 

[LordZuko]

Had a awkward moment last week.

I'm just finishing driving for Lyft on late Saturday/Sunday morning. I didn't want to go home bc i was coming back out to do the early morning airport runs. I call up this chick i met earlier that week on some 2:30 wyd type shit.

Normally i don't do anything in the whip i keep that shit pristine. But against better judgement we dip into the backseat. She live with her momma

So i crack we grab some grub i take her back to the spot and dip back downtown. I pick up this ride like 5am. Dude opens the door and is about to sit when he points at a condom wrapper on the seat. I grab it on some "aww man last person musta left that back there."

He giving me the whateva nigga face and i spot this nut stain on the seat. I drop the middle arm rest down to hide it.

I drop dude off zoom to the bp and scrub my seat real fast. I ain't get any complaints so i don't think he saw it

 

[Beta]

When I was at work a few years ago there was like 10 ppl outside, I step out and I took a step off the curb and sprained my ankle from like a 8 inch drop lmao

I screamed in front of everybody and had to limp back inside and everybody was like wtf

 

[Max.]

Man do i got stories

- I got fat fished on a first date I could see fine bitches looking at me and see me with this fat bitch

- on my off day years ago I was bullshittin so I texted every bitcg if they wanted to hang out or kick it and this Mexican chick said yeah sure and I was surprised ..thing was i ate Taco Bell before I picked her up so I picked her up and bring her back to my house and the whole time we're doing for playing she and I could tell she wants me to smash cuz she's taking her clothes off and I felt like if I had sex I would have shit on myself and my bathroom was right next to my bed like a few feet away so even if I went and took a shit she would hear me and that she was I ended up fucking just make an hour and not smashing and felt stupid and she stopped talking to me because I didn't..for 8 hours i didnt take a shit

And last one for now

You know when u start dating someone...u kiss fuck etc...except take dumps at there house...well thats the situation..

I got a bitch that always buys food for us so i go over 1230 am...we eat...watch tv and fuck....during sex i knew that soon id have to go bathroom...so i get a nut...n bounce...as soon as i get in my car body felt weird(sittn in car is like toilet seat same angle) its cold as fuck outside...i turn on the heater and got chills(even worse).

So now i gota drive at least 25 mins to get home...main streets n hood...it was sat night...so people still getn out club n all that..plus theres hela bums in my city...i think i made it 4 mins away i shit on myself it felt like a airbag went off in seat...i couldnt believe this shit...my first thought is please god have the neighbor be asleep...i was wearing light grey jordan shorts so i know it gona be noticeable if somebody sees me...so i crab walk to my front door open it walk to bathroom n guess what....

SOMEBODY IN THAT BITCH!!! I start sweating...i hide in the garage where we got a half bath(sink n toilet) i strip n throw my clothes in a bag...waited 5 mins smh finally went to the main bathroom w shower n cleaned up...than i had to go back to garage get the bag n bury it on bottom of the big outside garbage containers...felt like i was hiding a fuckn body

 

[So ILL]

When I was at work a few years ago there was like 10 ppl outside, I step out and I took a step off the curve and sprained my ankle from like a 8 inch drop lmao

I screamed in front of everybody and had to limp back inside and everybody was like wtf

This shit has me dying, niggas are wondering what's wrong with me lmao.

 

[atribecalledgabi]

Fell off my longboard when there was hella traffic next to me last month :#

 

[Max.]

When I was at work a few years ago there was like 10 ppl outside, I step out and I took a step off the curve and sprained my ankle from like a 8 inch drop lmao

I screamed in front of everybody and had to limp back inside and everybody was like wtf

I was at my friend's house and I walked out of his house and he had 2 fucking mats on top of each other and I fucking fell onn the side of my ankle and while I was there I felt my legs getting numb and my shit swelled up had to fuking limp in my car and Limp all the way into my front door My ankle still fucked to this day it doesn't hurt but it still pops

 

[AZTG]

I rolled my ankle the other day and these stories got my shit hurting again

 

[TonyDubbz]

I was in line in a Hardees one day with my boys and we were clowning and shit, wont nobody in there whenever we first went in so we in the line and that "Post to Be" song by Omarion come on, the shit had just dropped so when the Jhene Aiko line comes up I start tellin these niggas about how eating ass has become the new craze.. like im goin on about this shit bout how its basically becoming the new norm to eat a bitch ass and my boys laughing they ass off.. i turn around and its this white lady behind me with her little girl.

Man her face was red as fuck and she had her phone out texting some shit, i just know she was talking bout me on facebook or somethin.. i look down, the little girl looking at me like im crazy so I just stopped talkin all together .. stood in line and waited for em to call my order then I got my food and went and sat my ass down, ate in silence.