VIBE;c-10036516 said:
Men don't give the women what they want or need. I've seen many marriages end up being blamed on the man for various reasons. Two of those reasons that are high on the list - sex and communication.
There's no human connections. Everything today is expressed through social media; birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, baby announcements etc. Shit seems to have lost its value in the journey for likes, shares and the hope your video or message goes viral. I tell my wife happy birthday w a kiss, hug and some shit I'll do for her. I don't say shit on FB.
Men don't even need women to get pleasure, either. These married men are popping open web browsers and searching up porn fantasies to get off bc wifey ain't doing shit. She's out cheating bc he can't fuck or just ain't fucking at all.
It's all a lack of deep connection to each other. People don't realize that it doesn't just happen, you have to consistently work on that everyday. Compromise is also something many people don't understand. They're too immature and anal about shit.
I've been w my wife since I was 15. I'm going to be 31 this year. 17 yrs together. 9 yrs married. 6 kids. She works. I stay at home. We have been through open heart surgeries w my 2nd son, which was hell for the first 3 yrs. Then, our 5th son was born and he has allergies, eczema & asthma, and that's a shit load of work, too.
Even through that and typical bullshit, our sex lives are top notch. Sex every day, every week, every month. We can talk for hours. Humor is on point. We just click. Always have. We are both mature and just don't care to devote our time or energy to bullshit. Instead of arguing we get angry, don't talk, then talk it out when tempers are cooled. Even then, we hardly ever have any kind of issues with each other. Average argument, fight or being mad at each other is like once a month - if that.
People just don't care to devote time to someone else. Everything is about them. Social media has created this selfish "me, me, me" idea. You have ppl marrying themselves now. Why marry someone when you don't want to work on shit, not even yourself?
I don't get what's hard about being mature and being able to rationally understand and work things out that are necessary in a relationship.
Real talk.
Take a holistic approach to finding out why relationships fail and you'll see it.
Every generation is becoming more selfish than the previous one, they also have more access via technology.
In my grandmother's day, it would be obvious something was up. Your spouse would be gone for hours. Few people had cars or telephones so you had to put real effort into cheating.
My parent's day, you had to watch the phones and keep track of how long someone is outside of the of the house.
The generation of my older cousins had beepers, sex chat lines and rudimentary internet. Nobody knew what you were doing. It made cheating and hiding easier.
Today, a spouse could be cheating or plotting to cheat and be sitting right next to you. Everybody got their own phone now with codes to prevent people from snooping. Social media accounts are private, so are email addresses, there is no way for you to know anymore.
Technology is isolating people from everyone else and that includes spouses. The divide has been created. People are becoming more and more selfish, and given more opportunities to cheat or to "browse."
With the advent of FB and Instagram people get to gloat about the happy side of relationships while hiding the underbelly. It gives people that are watching or following you the perception that shits all good.
"The grass is always greener..." and now with FB and shit that saying has never been more true. You see family pics like things are all good.
Anecdotes:
My homeboy posted a pic of his two daughters and one of his BMs. They grinning and shit, you think things going lovely.
Meanwhile, they not even together. In fact, she been cheating and he moved on to someone else.
Another story.
A frat brother's wife is posting pics of them and their kid online. She grinning and happy asf. The pic is brand new.
Meanwhile he tell me that she got post-pardum depression and that's the only time his wife really smiled that week. She been sleeping and crying all the time. He stressed out having to take care of a newborn baby by himself.
Relationships are not easy, shits hard asf. But if you want it to work it can.
