Shacking up and the unwritten rule

[American.Loo]

Think its pretty much an unspoken agreement that when you shack up, there's yall are exclusive.

Shacking up is pretty much like being married, minus the ceremony and messy divorce.

 

[DRO]

My thing is this...

Why play house?..why be at home with a man/woman.. Doing married things (trips, bills, sex, arguing, puttin up with nonsense) and that shyt aint official?

If u gone do allll of that plus more, just make it official

imo its like working for a company and not getting benefits...

 

[caddo man]

Think its pretty much an unspoken agreement that when you shack up, there's yall are exclusive.

Shacking up is pretty much like being married, minus the ceremony and messy divorce.

It can still be messy, even on the legal tip too

 

[American.Loo]

My thing is this...

Why play house?..why be at home with a man/woman.. Doing married things (trips, bills, sex, arguing, puttin up with nonsense) and that shyt aint official?

If u gone do allll of that plus more, just make it official

imo its like working for a company and not getting benefits...

I always hated that expression

The bills are real, the sex is real, the day-to-day issues are real.

The same problems you face getting married are the same ones you face in a co-habitation.

Only difference is, once sh** hits the fan (which happens half the time) you can walk away minus ALOT of headaches.

 

[caddo man]

I always hated that expression

The bills are real, the sex is real, the day-to-day issues are real.

The same problems you face getting married are the same ones you face in a co-habitation.

Only difference is, once sh** hits the fan (which happens half the time) you can walk away minus ALOT of headaches.

see above post!

 

[J-GUTTA]

One of my boys is "playing house" and he want's out bad mainly because she has started asking about marriage.

 

[it's me bi***es]

my thing is this...

Why play house?..why be at home with a man/woman.. Doing married things (trips, bills, sex, arguing, puttin up with nonsense) and that shyt aint official?

If u gone do allll of that plus more, just make it official

imo its like working for a company and not getting benefits...

cuz in my case i dont beleive in marriage! Im on bm2 and just like my previous relationship since they live with me and been with me for a number of years i introduce her as my wife even though we're not married, idk works for me...

 

[Shuffington]

I always hated that expression

The bills are real, the sex is real, the day-to-day issues are real.

The same problems you face getting married are the same ones you face in a co-habitation.

Only difference is, once sh** hits the fan (which happens half the time) you can walk away minus ALOT of headaches.

not necessarily.. especially if you have bills you share. Utilities in your SO's name. and even though I havent been through a divorce I would argue that psychologically its probably a similar stress level. It might be slightly easier because you dont have to get lawyers and the courts involved but that just means the 2 people involved have to resolve all those issue alone... and that means someones gonna get screwed.

 

[dirtyrodney]

I always hated that expression

The bills are real, the sex is real, the day-to-day issues are real.

The same problems you face getting married are the same ones you face in a co-habitation.

Only difference is, once sh** hits the fan (which happens half the time) you can walk away minus ALOT of headaches.

Cosign the bolded, its the same difference essentially, but the legal ramifications aren't even close. And if its no kids either then its shouldn't be much worse then possible blemishes on ya credit.

 

[deeroc22]

My thing is this...

Why play house?..why be at home with a man/woman.. Doing married things (trips, bills, sex, arguing, puttin up with nonsense) and that shyt aint official?

If u gone do allll of that plus more, just make it official

imo its like working for a company and not getting benefits...

You dont really know someone till you live with them on a daily basis.... Its alot easier when you only have to spend saa 4 days outta the week with your chick, as opposed to coming home to her or vice versa. Why buy the car before driving it is a common analogy in this situation

 

[Aristo_V300]

My thing is this...

Why play house?..why be at home with a man/woman.. Doing married things (trips, bills, sex, arguing, puttin up with nonsense) and that shyt aint official?

If u gone do allll of that plus more, just make it official

imo its like working for a company and not getting benefits...

Well if shit goes sour... someone will just have to get the fuck out. That's a lot more convenient than havin' to give away half of your paycheck.

 

[American.Loo]

not necessarily.. especially if you have bills you share. Utilities in your SO's name. and even though I havent been through a divorce I would argue that psychologically its probably a similar stress level. It might be slightly easier because you dont have to get lawyers and the courts involved but that just means the 2 people involved have to resolve all those issue alone... and that means someones gonna get screwed.

I know people that've been divorced and one of the biggest stressors they said was the shame of having everyone know their marriage failed.

And as far as lawyers and courts, i hate them both. so yeah, to you, maybe its only a slight inconvienance but its one i'd gladly side-step.

 

[5th Letter]

I would assume everyone knew the rules but you never sometimes because people want their cake and eat it too.

 

[NYCeeCee]

I don't understand why people don't just have the uncomfortable conversations early on. Save yourself from future headaches and confusion.

 

[nex gin]

My understanding is that shacking up = relationship exclusivity unless otherwise stated & agreed upon. I strongly encourage shacking up because, as one person already stated, seeing your s/o occassionally throughout the week and living w/ someone is two completely different things. If things don't work out, you can dissolve the relationship a lot easier...especially if there are no kids involved.

 

[Shuffington]

You dont really know someone till you live with them on a daily basis.... Its alot easier when you only have to spend saa 4 days outta the week with your chick, as opposed to coming home to her or vice versa. Why buy the car before driving it is a common analogy in this situation

I gotta disagree.

I just dont think people know what to check for. I also think alot of young shackers rush into it because of the in-house sex as well as the money they might save on rent/utilities. How nice will it sound thinking about how your girl will cook for you after a long day at the warehouse.

You never really know someone imo is false cause you were probably just overlooking alot of red flags..(like her terrible spending habits/ her dirty bathroom, his dirty kitchen/ the fact that you met him at the anything goes club). Also you might think you have someone figured out but... as life goes on people evolve to new and different things. If you dont understand the type of person your dealing with then thats more reason just to wait or just bail cause that person doesn't make you comfortable enough

 

[5th Letter]

I don't understand why people don't just have the uncomfortable conversations early on. Save yourself from future headaches and confusion.

Example of what you mean by uncomfortable conversation?

 

[caddo man]

REally how many of you guys have experienced living with someone for a long period of time.

If you have you should know that there is nothing easy about breaking up especially when you live with someone. There will be a period of time that will go by that you will have to endure some BS. And you will because to even make that decision that you wanted to shack up, you had some kind of feelings for that person.

@NYCeeCee - please tell them about that uncomfortable conversation.

I gotta disagree.

I just dont think people know what to check for. I also think alot of young shackers rush into it because of the in-house sex as well as the money they might save on rent/utilities. How nice will it sound thinking about how your girl will cook for you after a long day at the warehouse.

You never really know someone imo is false cause you were probably just overlooking alot of red flags..(like her terrible spending habits/ her dirty bathroom, his dirty kitchen/ the fact that you met him at the anything goes club). Also you might think you have someone figured out but... as life goes on people evolve to new and different things. If you dont understand the type of person your dealing with then thats more reason just to wait or just bail cause that person doesn't make you comfortable enough

Preach dude! Everything you said is the truth!

You seen it but you just didnt pay attention to it. Now you live with her and you hate it.

 

[Shuffington]

I know people that've been divorced and one of the biggest stressors they said was the shame of having everyone know their marriage failed.

And as far as lawyers and courts, i hate them both. so yeah, to you, maybe its only a slight inconvienance but its one i'd gladly side-step.

theres No guarantee that you wont be sued over some sort of bad arrangement... it is possibly avoidable if one person decides to take a loss.... again... someone is going to get the short end of the stick... so when people say "you can just walk away".... thats grossly understated.

And Trust... 2 couples... one cohabiting for 10 yrs and the other married for 10 yrs.... both relationships fail ... I dont think its easier for either one... unless your saying that the cohabiting couple expected the relationship to fail so it didnt hurt as much and the married couple was blind sided ... .. either way.. thats speaks more for marriage in that case.

If im going in the game ... Im going hard

 

[caddo man]

I will up this on Monday!