Really?Who does This?Choosing your Mate over your Child

[Revolver Ocelot]

yo @2stepz_ahead

 

[Ajackson17]

My 2 cents, is how was the child raise is the first question, if she is 13 and then she was born in 2004 or 2003. Then we must ask where is the father and other relatives in this, how was the child treated, what was their environment, what are their mental capabilities, and what is actually going on?

We do not have enough information, all we know the mother kicked the child out and she is 13 years old for disrespecting her boyfriend. We don't know the mother and nor the boyfriend and the child. If the child is hungry and isn't even eating properly then we know something is up.

So I'm going to propose the environment is not a good enviroment for the child and we'll see if the child does better under this woman and if so then we can propose the child was in a bad situation and if not then we have to evaluate if there are psychological trauma to the child. All in all this a child, a human being who's brain is not developed and just enter puberty. Children for the most part do not like their parent's new boyfriend/girlfriend. Why because they are not their parent and someone usually asserting domination or rule without developing a relationship.

 

[semi-auto-mato]

Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.

what are "good parenting skills/tools"

For one, being able to take control of a situation without losing your cool and throwing your child out. I'm sure you know kids can press and press and purposely try and make a parent snap, a good skill would be being able to recognize that and shut them down not shut them out.

This implies that there is a right way and a wrong way to raise a child. it does not take into account that each child is different. children are different from their parents and siblings. u may have never talked back to ur parents and then u have a child that talks back all the time. u cant fall back on how ur parents raised u because they never had to deal with that situation. if we go by what u are saying ur parents would be bad parents because they didn't prepare u for any and everything. that's impossible to do.

The bolded makes you sound violent lol. do u spank ur kids? that's questionable parenting. they will be scarred for life.

 

[BiblicalAtheist]

Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.

what are "good parenting skills/tools"

For one, being able to take control of a situation without losing your cool and throwing your child out. I'm sure you know kids can press and press and purposely try and make a parent snap, a good skill would be being able to recognize that and shut them down not shut them out.

This implies that there is a right way and a wrong way to raise a child. it does not take into account that each child is different. children are different from their parents and siblings. u may have never talked back to ur parents and then u have a child that talks back all the time. u cant fall back on how ur parents raised u because they never had to deal with that situation. if we go by what u are saying ur parents would be bad parents because they didn't prepare u for any and everything. that's impossible to do.

The bolded makes you sound violent lol. do u spank ur kids? that's questionable parenting. they will be scarred for life.

Why are you making it seem like there isn't a right or wrong way? There are wrong ways to raise kids, and that's how some people lose custody because they were raising them wrong. We know now beating your kids is the wrong way. We know neglecting them is the wrong way. We even go so far as to say if you do certain things or don't do certain things before the child is 5, it impacts them and sometimes negatively, which obviously was the wrong way to do it.

I didn't imply what is good for one child is good for all, I don't even see how your infer that from what I wrote.

What do you mean 'falling back on how your parents raised you'? I didn't said what I might deal with my parents dealt with and because of that I will act just like them.

If spanking worked you'd only have to spank a child once, but if a spank didn't work, you might have to find another tool or skill to deal with the situation.

 

[semi-auto-mato]

Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.

what are "good parenting skills/tools"

For one, being able to take control of a situation without losing your cool and throwing your child out. I'm sure you know kids can press and press and purposely try and make a parent snap, a good skill would be being able to recognize that and shut them down not shut them out.

This implies that there is a right way and a wrong way to raise a child. it does not take into account that each child is different. children are different from their parents and siblings. u may have never talked back to ur parents and then u have a child that talks back all the time. u cant fall back on how ur parents raised u because they never had to deal with that situation. if we go by what u are saying ur parents would be bad parents because they didn't prepare u for any and everything. that's impossible to do.

The bolded makes you sound violent lol. do u spank ur kids? that's questionable parenting. they will be scarred for life.

Why are you making it seem like there isn't a right or wrong way? There are wrong ways to raise kids, and that's how some people lose custody because they were raising them wrong. We know now beating your kids is the wrong way. We know neglecting them is the wrong way. We even go so far as to say if you do certain things or don't do certain things before the child is 5, it impacts them and sometimes negatively, which obviously was the wrong way to do it.

I didn't imply what is good for one child is good for all, I don't even see how your infer that from what I wrote.

What do you mean 'falling back on how your parents raised you'? I didn't said what I might deal with my parents dealt with and because of that I will act just like them.

If spanking worked you'd only have to spank a child once, but if a spank didn't work, you might have to find another tool or skill to deal with the situation.

u said parenting involves skills/tools taught to u by ur parents. the use of skill and tools says u think there is a certain level of expertise that comes from ur parents. I basically asked what if ur parents never had to deal with it. how can they teach u how to deal with it? how can you fall back on what your parents taught u?

how can u not see what u implied? u said there is a right way and wrong way. u just said it again. u are making a blanket statement and not a situational one. the mom kicked out her 13 year old daughter. she is wrong in ur eye because u just don't kick a kid out. what if the kid attacked her or her boyfriend? what is the right way to handle that situation? tell her to go to her room? lock ur door when u sleep at night? shrug it off?

who said beating ur kids is wrong? plenty of folks believe in it and some don't. it works with some and some it does not. some kids that were never spanked end up being horrible people and folks always say well if they were spanked they would have turned out differently. some kids that are spanked turn out to be violent and folks say that's because they were hit as kids. whats right and whats wrong? there is no right or wrong way. im not talking extreme cases. im not talking about neglect or child abuse. im talking about normal child rearing.

 

[BiblicalAtheist]

u said parenting involves skills/tools taught to u by ur parents. the use of skill and tools says u think there is a certain level of expertise that comes from ur parents. I basically asked what if ur parents never had to deal with it. how can they teach u how to deal with it? how can you fall back on what your parents taught u?

A parent doesn't necessarily need to teach you how to deal with each and every situation that might occur for a person to critically think how to formulate a possible solution to any given problem. If a child wasn't reared that way, coming at problems and issues are already problematic because they weren't taught how to. A "well rounded" parent may not have to teach their child how to deal with a bad ass child because they're child in most cases won't have a bad ass child because the line of teaching and rearing has been stable all the way through. Yeah sometimes there is that one kid that comes outta left field but if the parents have good skills they have a lot more tools at their disposal of how to deal with and cope with this "odd" child/situation.

how can u not see what u implied? u said there is a right way and wrong way. u just said it again. u are making a blanket statement and not a situational one. the mom kicked out her 13 year old daughter. she is wrong in ur eye because u just don't kick a kid out. what if the kid attacked her or her boyfriend? what is the right way to handle that situation? tell her to go to her room? lock ur door when u sleep at night? shrug it off?

It's too easy to say what the best course of action would have been in hind sight and not being in the situation. We don't know any details why the kid was acting like that, we don't know if therapy was tried or councelling, we don't know if the relationship between the child and mother was good or not. All we have is the child was rude and got put out the house, yes that is wrong and overreacting in my half ass rounded parent opinion.

who said beating ur kids is wrong? plenty of folks believe in it and some don't. it works with some and some it does not. some kids that were never spanked end up being horrible people and folks always say well if they were spanked they would have turned out differently. some kids that are spanked turn out to be violent and folks say that's because they were hit as kids. whats right and whats wrong? there is no right or wrong way. im not talking extreme cases. im not talking about neglect or child abuse. im talking about normal child rearing.

The majority who agree beating a child is wrong says it's wrong regardless of the some who feel other wise. Spankings in general, I don't think affect a child enough to cause them to be horrible people or not to be horrible people. What happens along with the spanking goes a long way. Did the parent talk with the child about the spanking, was the spank appropriate punishment for the "crime". I do understand what you are saying, there is no generally accepted "best way to rear a child" but it cannot be denied that a nutritive, communicative, loving home rears more rounded people than overly dysfunctional child rearing does.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

Two stepz was either drunk or coked up when he latched on to this thread..you can't convince me otherwise.

grrrr

damn you Kat...

imma get you later... I'm jetlagged right now

 

[2stepz_ahead]

Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.

what are "good parenting skills/tools"

For one, being able to take control of a situation without losing your cool and throwing your child out. I'm sure you know kids can press and press and purposely try and make a parent snap, a good skill would be being able to recognize that and shut them down not shut them out.

bruh.....we are human.

any and every parent has lost their cool.

this is not realistic

 

[2stepz_ahead]

sooo.

can a child with two shitty parents be successful?

can a 13 yr old get pregnant?

can kids be charged as adults?

did anyone Google slender man crimes?

 

[BiblicalAtheist]

Parenting involves a certain amount of skills/tools, normally being taught to you as you were being raised by your parents. If the parents raising you lacked good parenting skills/tools you lack them as well and when trouble brews the parents may be at a loss of how to cope/deal with situations(so instead of other punishments being kicked out seems like the best option). It is not just confined to parenting, many people lack the skills and tools required to live a "normal well rounded" life.

what are "good parenting skills/tools"

For one, being able to take control of a situation without losing your cool and throwing your child out. I'm sure you know kids can press and press and purposely try and make a parent snap, a good skill would be being able to recognize that and shut them down not shut them out.

bruh.....we are human.

any and every parent has lost their cool.

this is not realistic

Oh yes I realize that, I didn't mean to imply we're perfect and never do such things.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

why is it assumed this 13 yr old girl is innocent?

we are we assuming the parent lost control?

maybe, showing her she ain't above putting her ass out...is a form of having control. but then it gets into 5he parent is too controlling.

some kids need just a raised voice and some kids need gastapo techniques.

can't judge the parent without knowing the child.

 

[BiblicalAtheist]

why is it assumed this 13 yr old girl is innocent?

we are we assuming the parent lost control?

maybe, showing her she ain't above putting her ass out...is a form of having control. but then it gets into 5he parent is too controlling.

some kids need just a raised voice and some kids need gastapo techniques.

can't judge the parent without knowing the child.

We are assuming cuz we have no details and we like long threads based on fluff and assumptions, makes for convo. That is part of the reason I don't normally answer in these threads, it gets long, drawn out, people start arguing over assumptions things are all muddled and by the end no one knows wtf is what anymore.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

why is it assumed this 13 yr old girl is innocent?

we are we assuming the parent lost control?

maybe, showing her she ain't above putting her ass out...is a form of having control. but then it gets into 5he parent is too controlling.

some kids need just a raised voice and some kids need gastapo techniques.

can't judge the parent without knowing the child.

We are assuming cuz we have no details and we like long threads based on fluff and assumptions, makes for convo. That is part of the reason I don't normally answer in these threads, it gets long, drawn out, people start arguing over assumptions things are all muddled and by the end no one knows wtf is what anymore.

exactly....but people want the mother to not be shit tho.

shit we dint know if this lil terrorists just got home from juve @kat

she might be dating a drug dealer

 

[Kat]

Smh..my comment was due to your long, and at times incoherent ramblings throughout the thread.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

Smh..my comment was due to your long, and at times incoherent ramblings throughout the thread.

what's incoherent about them?

it's clear what my stance is....

 

[Cabana_Da_Don]

We don´t know what she did...Example:At the school I work at there´s this girl that was in the shelter or w.e the fuck they call now and she´s 13.The girl looks like she´s 18 and she lost her parents she got nobody.One day she flipped out she didn´t want to go to class and yelled at the principle told her to fuck herself and said she was going to beat the fuck outta the principle if she touched her.She also threatened other students saying she was going to kill them with a razor.She done some crime I have no clue what they were but she was a bad ass kid and nowadays you can´t even put your hands on them unless they are hurting someone.So if she didnt want to class we can´t physically make them.Anyways there´s some bad ass kids out there that if you donpt get em very young they will become a threat to society because the laws dont help either.The laws donpt let you groom a child sometimes a beating is the way.I donpt take anything for face value kids know what is right and wrong by the age of 10 real talk.

 

[sweetheart93]

Sad I know of quite a few women that choose their men over their children. I went to school with 4 sisters who were being raped by their mom's husband and the mom didn't care because she was afraid of losing him. The stories they would tell me were crazy. If I was there when he came home they would sneak me out through the back door because they were scared he would try to do something to me. Sad. They actually turned out pretty good though. Hopefully they don't act like their mother when they become parents though.

 

[LcnsdbyROYALTY]

being a parent of once teens....shit just being a parent you should take offense to this shit.

you know you need to check your kids, so what if someone said you put your mate ahead of your child because you told they to stay home so you can go on a date?

fukk that...

been there done that.

I'm ready to fight reading this shit

any of you niggas wanna fight about this shit ?

who gonna defend this fukkery?

I typically fuck with you, but as you said, where's the other side of the story? U asked that and immediately lashed out on one side.

 

[b'mer...]

Low self-esteem...