LMS Debate RD3. Is it better to date someone attractive and popular or intelligent and smart?

[CapitalB]

I would like to be with someone that I am attracted to, but at the same time being cute isn't got to pay the bills.

soooo..

who would you be with?

I'd rather be with someone that is both halfway good looking and smart.

neither here nor there..

cause thats not what this debate is about..

now..

can they finish?? lol

 

[Young_Chitlin]

Nobody cares who YOU would hire, as if you're the only employer on earth lol. Many studies show more attractive people get employed and work their way up faster. This ain't about you, this is about society. And the way society is, it behooves you to work smarter on yourself and in your choice of mate and 2nd parent to your child.

The truth of the matter is tho, anyone who is attractive or popular knows those qualities aren't going to be enough. If you're dealing with other people who also exhibit those qualities you need another edge. Social, emotional, sensual, tactical intelligence are more important in the arena of life and in dealing with people. It allows you to understand what they want, how to appeal to them, and how to get what you want out of an exchange. Reality gonna hit those people hard when they realise it & it might be too late by the time they do.

I would argue those jobs can be more effectively done by people who understand a level of social, mechanical or technical intelligence which allows them to innovate. It's how we define smart decisions which change an entire industry or puts someone ahead of the rest no matter how simple. Whether you're Jay-Z, Michael Corleone, Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Even in terms of relationships, you have to understand your partners emotional needs in order to keep your relationship afloat long-term. For public figures it's the same thing in understanding the masses so you can appeal to them or recognizing it to change with the times. It's not a matter of generalities, but it is a matter of which is BETTER and it's better to hire or date someone who can bring that dynamic to the equation. That's why people respect intelligence and authority and disrespect them when we find they lack on the interior.

The root word of attractive is attract, which means appealing to one's senses, being inviting, etc. Popular means liked/admired by many people. People who understand that the more people that pick up what they're putting down gives you an advantage in life are the ones that get farther by capitalizing off it. Choosing an attractive and popular mate only works in your favor. Those types of people cast wide nets. I've already explained why financially it helps. It helps in the home as well. That good private school you want your kid to go to? Who can schmooze the dean if that's not your strength? Don't like a certain policy your HOA just passed? Who can get into their ear and go about reversing it? If a lot of people like your partner, you like him/her too, nigga! That's why you're with them lol. All that is is reaffirmation you chose well. And people witnessing you choose partners well reflects even better on you. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

^^^ this is social and emotional intelligence. Being able to identify and appeal to that is the basis of social and emotional intelligence. Street smarts. Some people are naive and unaware of the games people play or don't know how to react to it.

That confirms my point above.

The other bolded is why the divorce rates are so high. People do it but doesn't make it right let alone the better choice. A lot of people liked Mel Gibson, a lot of people liked Reagan too. Doesn't mean they were good for you. That's a huge problem with why relationships fall apart, too many people choosing people for the wrong things whether it's just money, looks or fame.

If appearance made no difference in the long run nobody would dress up for job interviews, dates, the club, etc and companies wouldn't be paying top dollar for super bowl ads and marketing wouldn't be a thing. My opponent mentioned confidence and power, which have absolutely nothing to do with intelligence. Confidence is a PHYSICAL attribute. You can sense a confident person just by watching them without ever having a conversation with them or knowing their intelligence level. Power is a measure of influence. A popular person most definitely has power.

Appearance will get you noticed but it's not enough to keep you in the position and it's not enough to sustain a relationship. Looks fade, popularity wanes. At the end of the day you cannot have a relationship without emotional, interpersonal intelligence or other connections on a subconscious level. Hell we all gonna get old, you're gonna be 80+ and things aren't going to work as well as they used to, you don't have a solution to that.

Confidence and power have every bit to do with mechanical intelligence (especially in the context you used), you can't take that out of the equation. A politician's source of power to connect with you is their ability to understand the emotional times and needs of the public, being able to understand people, what people really want and then craft their campaign around it (social intelligence/street smarts). Confidence is innate and comes from within, who you are. If I have confidence in my ability as a scientist, talker, my craft, that's every bit appealing to someone to attract them to my cause - I don't need to be very popular or attractive to do that, Steve Jobs was a fucking prick but ppl believed in what he said & knew. It gives you confirmation that I have potential and passion to be more and if I'm smart enough to understand myself and what works for me I can reach it. Lil' Wayne was by no means a good rapper or attractive when he started but his intelligence of his craft, emotional passion for it and ethic allowed him to get to where he is today.

As for kids...if the IC is any indication of real life, no man is wifing a woman and having a child with her because she's smart lol. You don't learn to maintain a home and provide stability in a classroom. Lets keep it real...educated black women are the least married group. I'm not teaching my kids to value their looks above all else. But I will teach them that in the real world, others will. So use that. Keeping yourself together is a SKILL. Being a people person is a SKILL. Word to Dale Carnegie.

No man is wifing a woman solely off of looks or popularity - a man will settle for a less attractive woman compared to a certified dime if she brings more to the table. The latter is what will decide if he will decide to seriously date and/or marry and commit time to her. You have to realise too - beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A woman who brings more to the table whether it's in the form of mental, emotional stability, depth of personality, talent and potential is better to date. There's nothing more frustrating than a pretty muthafucka who don't got it or can't stimulate you mentally. Part of what makes relationships so fucking difficult is our ability to understand one another and even tolerate and make compromises. A beautiful woman can compromise on looks if a man understands her emotionally inside and out and can effectively communicate and seduce her throughout the relationship. Flirting, COMMUNICATION, insinuation, patience, the dance all of it - you need emotional & interpersonal intelligence and understanding to be able to do that effectively. Men may cheat if it's available & the woman doesn't necessarily have to be cuter than his current, women cheat because they're not being mentally satisfied/ignored.

Your concluding post is divisive and fallacious, you can't make a generalization like that about black women when there are woman of all shades and races who are educated and married and you also can't quantify intelligence solely by IQ to denounce all other forms of it to penalize a group or make a claim to pass as "fact". There are socioeconomic reasons why black women may be least married but that's a tangent I won't go on.

@atribecalledgabi

 

[Young_Chitlin]

Sion posts in this debate each been final form attacks carajo

 

[Mastery]

I would like to be with someone that I am attracted to, but at the same time being cute isn't going to pay the bills.

I would like to be with someone that I am attracted to, but at the same time being cute isn't got to pay the bills.

soooo..

who would you be with?

I'd rather be with someone that is both halfway good looking and smart.

Let this nigga and niggette finish the debate first.

 

[atribecalledgabi]

I would like to be with someone that I am attracted to, but at the same time being cute isn't going to pay the bills.

AIN'T NOBODY COMIN TO SEE YOU OTIS!!

 

[atribecalledgabi]

Excuse this...not a reply lol...

 

[atribecalledgabi]

We've come to the end of this debate, brothers and sisters. And in 4 replies all I've read was my opponent trying to make intelligence be the cure all for a healthy, functioning relationship. According to him, being smart automatically = substance, which makes attractiveness automatically shallow. He took the liberty to name all these different types of intelligence, while failing to realize that intelligent people do not possess ALL these types of intelligence. You can be a brilliant physicist but lack emotional intelligence, which will put clamps on any relationships you have. Similarly, you can be a great businessman but that certainly does not make that transferable to say, giving you the ability to run a country. Surely you all see that trying to pin every positive attribute that keeps a relationship afloat to intelligence is intellectually dishonest. Meanwhile, I've maintained that neither quality we're arguing for is not enough on its own.

But the advantages being attractive and popular affords you vs just being smart are more applicable to a good relationship. Attractive and popular people are more social: they get invited out more, have been more places, have more social cues to draw from (more experienced in dealing with different types of people), they have more sex (and more sexual partners). At the VERY LEAST you won't have many dull moments. A partner that you can hit the town with, go to parties with, laugh with, make new friends and acquaintances with, and have a lot of sex with is FUN. And your relationship ain't getting nowhere without that. Good health is also a marker for attractive people. People that work out and maintain good diets generally look better and feel better, which biologically makes them good candidates for a parent.

One thing my opponent doesn't seem to understand is that intelligence isn't innate, it can be developed. So going back to the example of boss, he doesn't need his women to be as smart as he is in the same ways he is in order for them to work. That doesn't mean they're dumb, however. They learn from one another and over time the trust, loyalty and love grows. How attractive you are is a little more fixed tho. You can wear makeup, nice clothes, workout and all that, but all in all you're gonna look like what you look like. That's why beauty is more desirable cuz you can't just get that anywhere. Physical attraction is the gateway that entices you to even CONSIDER giving someone a chance to show you their intellectual side. On dating sites niggas are looking at profile pics first before reading the bios. I can't stress this enough - Your bio and what you bring to the table ain't shit if I don't like what I'm looking at. Men as the more visual ones, are not compromising a woman they aren't attracted to for one they are.

You see, attractive people get gambled on...get chances taken on them. The opportunity to fail is an opportunity in itself. You learn the most by fucking up. If an attractive, popular person gets a job theyre unqualified for or before they're ready for it and do badly, that's not the end of the world for them. They have the chance to get that job somewhere else due to their likability, but now with experience. Apply that to dating...the attractive person will more than likely date and interact with more romantic partners better because they get more experience to do so.

In conclusion, attractiveness is not just appealing to one's eyes - it also appeals to your sense of smell, taste, touch, and hearing. The way people carry themsselves, their posture, confidence...things you can sense about a person without knowing them are attractive. Attraction is the foundation of any relationship - romantic, sexual, platonic, business, family, etc. Without that you have nothing. Without a partner that attracts you, you have nothing.

Thank you, brothers and sisters.

 

[CapitalB]

oh yeh..

 

[CapitalB]

100th post in this bitch as well!!!!

 

[HundredEyes]

oh yeh..

Pffff first a how I met your mother gif and now friends....

FRIENDS!?

 

[CapitalB]

oh yeh..

Pffff first a how I met your mother gif and now friends....

FRIENDS!?

now see..

the fact that u even know the name of these shows!!? hahahahahaha

cause i damn sure didnt..

jus went after the "most attractive" gif. lol

 

[2stepz_ahead]

oh yeh..

Pffff first a how I met your mother gif and now friends....

FRIENDS!?

now see..

the fact that u even know the name of these shows!!? hahahahahaha

cause i damn sure didnt..

jus went after the "most attractive" gif. lol

i was just about to say the same thing.

 

[Chi Snow]

I gotta say once again, great debates from both participants

 

[CapitalB]

oh yeh..

Pffff first a how I met your mother gif and now friends....

FRIENDS!?

now see..

the fact that u even know the name of these shows!!? hahahahahaha

cause i damn sure didnt..

jus went after the "most attractive" gif. lol

i was just about to say the same thing.

hahaha he go learn to quit commin for me..

one of these days..

hopefully soon a debate..

aint that right @HundredEyes

 

[HundredEyes]

oh yeh..

Pffff first a how I met your mother gif and now friends....

FRIENDS!?

now see..

the fact that u even know the name of these shows!!? hahahahahaha

cause i damn sure didnt..

jus went after the "most attractive" gif. lol

i was just about to say the same thing.

hahaha he go learn to quit commin for me..

one of these days..

hopefully soon a debate..

aint that right @HundredEyes

Pfffff

Acting dumb just for the podium he? Everybody knows friends man, thats how messed up our world is lol...and shit, I wanted to step in for zombie, had mastery's blessing and all that but you and 2steps were on that 'thats not fair' shit...and went like:

 

[HundredEyes]

oh yeh..

Pffff first a how I met your mother gif and now friends....

FRIENDS!?

now see..

the fact that u even know the name of these shows!!? hahahahahaha

cause i damn sure didnt..

jus went after the "most attractive" gif. lol

i was just about to say the same thing.

Pffff

I bet you got all the seasons on bluray n dubbed in german ol bier und lederhosen freund

 

[CapitalB]

i swear on my daughter i did not know where them gifs came from. hahaha

mannnnn imma crip!

we aint watch that shit growin up.. i mean i heard of the shows.. but never watched a single episode..

only white show i watched growin up was The Bundy's..

 

[yellowtapesport]

This nigga @HundredEyes is one funny foreign bastard lmao

#FTW

#ROS

 

[CapitalB]

so if u dont pist by 9pm REAL NIGGAS TIME ur last post wont count is what ur tellin us?? lol

 

[CapitalB]

nigga u got 51 mins..