How Many of Y'all Have Taken Care of Someone Elses Child, Because of a Relationship?
A$AP_A$TON
New member
What's funny is there are so many ppl on here who become militant and afrocentric every time there's a racial topic being discussed.
But y'all niggas is fine with a black child growing up with out a father figure.
But at the end of the day, I don't fault nobody for doing what's in their best interest. It's all personal preference and every circumstance is not the same.
But y'all niggas is fine with a black child growing up with out a father figure.
But at the end of the day, I don't fault nobody for doing what's in their best interest. It's all personal preference and every circumstance is not the same.
Melanin_Enriched
New member
So y'all niggas ok with moving in? I know i would most likely end up mean mugging that lil nigga ever ytime i pass him/her whether it be in the hallway or the stairs. And lord help that lil nigga if there's only bathroom and he/she using it when i have to.
25centsandwich
New member
Bottom line is that if your gonna be in a relationship with a single parent it really is a package deal...no way around it...you gotta put the effort in with her and the kid...
At a certain age i wasnt ready to put the effort in a relationship with just one woman let alone there offspring...
So its absolutely bullshit to say that those who dont want to put in a effort with a single parent aint real niggas or are selfish...and if they are selfish they are selfish in a good way...better to leave the chick alone than be in over your head with her family and then hatin life...
Honestly the best ive seen it work out is when each partner has their own kids...very little pressure...take care of your kids and ill take care of mine
At a certain age i wasnt ready to put the effort in a relationship with just one woman let alone there offspring...
So its absolutely bullshit to say that those who dont want to put in a effort with a single parent aint real niggas or are selfish...and if they are selfish they are selfish in a good way...better to leave the chick alone than be in over your head with her family and then hatin life...
Honestly the best ive seen it work out is when each partner has their own kids...very little pressure...take care of your kids and ill take care of mine
Everyone's entitled to their opinion, PERIOD.
Mine is as follows:
I feel that, in general, it is somewhat myopic and self-centered to categorically dismiss another human being (especially a child) simply because you are not biologically related.
What defines family?
- DNA?
- The offspring of a relationship that entails a sexual encounter where a man either doesn't pull out, forgoes a condom, or fails to get "lucky"?
Blood and family are important. But, personally, I dont believe that "family" is strictly defined through biological boundaries.
No one is talking about an obligation to support gold digging women without standards. But, a lot of you are making it seem like a woman with a child is automatically an unintelligible bird who is incapable of making wise decisions.
Take a step back for a second. Think of the myriad of circumstances that could precipitate a woman having a child without companionship. That woman could be gorgeous, intelligent, funny, and ambitious. That woman could be the love of your life.
But nah fam, she got a kid so its a wrap.
Okay...
Guess you missed out on the love of your life because you are stubborn and adhere to (IMO) relatively arbitrary rules that govern your relationships. Honestly, if that is cool with you, that's whats up - do you.
It just wouldn't be me, in that situation.
I cant knock one man's preference. But I also think it is silly to bash the another perspective as if it has no merit.
Mine is as follows:
I feel that, in general, it is somewhat myopic and self-centered to categorically dismiss another human being (especially a child) simply because you are not biologically related.
What defines family?
- DNA?
- The offspring of a relationship that entails a sexual encounter where a man either doesn't pull out, forgoes a condom, or fails to get "lucky"?
Blood and family are important. But, personally, I dont believe that "family" is strictly defined through biological boundaries.
No one is talking about an obligation to support gold digging women without standards. But, a lot of you are making it seem like a woman with a child is automatically an unintelligible bird who is incapable of making wise decisions.
Take a step back for a second. Think of the myriad of circumstances that could precipitate a woman having a child without companionship. That woman could be gorgeous, intelligent, funny, and ambitious. That woman could be the love of your life.
But nah fam, she got a kid so its a wrap.
Okay...
Guess you missed out on the love of your life because you are stubborn and adhere to (IMO) relatively arbitrary rules that govern your relationships. Honestly, if that is cool with you, that's whats up - do you.
It just wouldn't be me, in that situation.
I cant knock one man's preference. But I also think it is silly to bash the another perspective as if it has no merit.
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To all the ladies having babies on they own/I know it's kind of rough and ya feeling all alone....
DarcSkies cares... If don't nobody else care.
-TewPac
We really need to start supporting our black women more and uplift instead of tear down. I see a lot of so called black "men" in here tearing our beautiful sisters like Kathryn down when they just looking for love in-between breastfeeding & Facebook "of u don't want me at my worst u don't deserve me at my best" meme postings.
DarcSkies cares... If don't nobody else care.
-TewPac
We really need to start supporting our black women more and uplift instead of tear down. I see a lot of so called black "men" in here tearing our beautiful sisters like Kathryn down when they just looking for love in-between breastfeeding & Facebook "of u don't want me at my worst u don't deserve me at my best" meme postings.
damobb2deep
New member
25centsandwich;8081252 said:
true... but my thing is these same niggas who not condoning a nigga stepping up to do that are making it seem like the ones who are "ain't real niggas" that's the childish and immature part.... because these are the same guys who would not mind smashing said chick..
PapaDoc223
New member
Id rather raise my children who are my direct bloodline, my seed. The ones who will pass my legacy on. Now if my little brother has children and he dies ill take care of them. If any of my cousins pass away ill take care of them. But i will never date a single mom whose baby daddy is still alive even if she looks like Lauren London, Teyana Trump or Lisa Raye in the mid 90s..... Ok that is ridiculous. But my point stands. Her child aint mine and isnt my seed. I aint those chumps in Maury who even after the DNA test the baby aint there still take care of the child.
25centsandwich
New member
damobb2deep;8081387 said:
Ok i hear that but in response there are those on the other side that are saying that niggas are silly for missing out on the "love of their life" by not trying to be with a woman with kids...
its a dealbreaker for some period...and it mystifies me why distance, money, race, etc can be a dealbreaker but a woman with kids...here comes the black man aint shit brigade ..what kind of sense does that make?
25centsandwich;8081475 said:
If you are referring to my post - I never said that cats on either side of the fence "aint shit".
But being in love with someone is independent of whether or not they have children. To me, being with the person you are supposed to be with is a big deal - to some it isnt. Hypothetically, I would consider putting up with a rug rat to spend my life with that woman (depending on the circumstances.)
If that is a hard limit for you, so be it.
fuc_i_look_like
New member
Will Munny;8076520 said:
My cracka, i feel you. This gon hurt a lot of feelings lmao
damobb2deep
New member
25centsandwich;8081475 said:
Honestly imo each situation is different... there are some situations where I would put up with a child because the mother and me click that well.. there are other situations where I would not.. i think the conflict comes In on both sides that we are talking about the extreme negatives to prove our point on why we side on the side we do..
damobb2deep
New member
PapaDoc223;8081428 said:
that's the point why do they have to be "chumps" they are doing something that should be held In a more positive light... that child has a person in their life who they can look 2...
Lurkristocrat
New member
I just came in to see @kat in her feelings over a redundant topic..
MrMinimalist
New member
I hate that Marilyn Monroe quote. These chicks are always at their worst and only best for sex.
MrMinimalist
New member
MrMinimalist;8079147 said:
A lot of females in their early 20s are babysitters or maybe an aunt. When they're around a lot of lil kids, they're going to want one of their own. Notice how many females and their friends have kids around the same ages. Hell, you see this trend from high school girls. Like that pic with like 10 of them showing off that they're pregnant.
Dated some women with kids, but I agree it messes up my mind to think of the future together..........with a kid from the beginning. I try to give a pass to one kid, but more than that is a waste of my time.
The older you get the more you start to put the kid barrier on hold and accept that you might have to deal with a girl with a kid.
The 3 I dated with kids were short term so I don't have no real stories.
I think basically if I know for a fact I can't be everything for that kid and love him/her unconditionally the same as the mother then I don't need to be there at all. That ain't something I can see if it'll work later and try out in marriage....dating it's ok.
The older you get the more you start to put the kid barrier on hold and accept that you might have to deal with a girl with a kid.
The 3 I dated with kids were short term so I don't have no real stories.
I think basically if I know for a fact I can't be everything for that kid and love him/her unconditionally the same as the mother then I don't need to be there at all. That ain't something I can see if it'll work later and try out in marriage....dating it's ok.
