For all my people here that DON'T have children.

[Lurkristocrat]

Goat nonetheless tho

 

[AP21]

some of ya'lls life's aspirations are mind bottling

instead of being someone who is older and perhaps in a better situation overall to bring a kid in the world, you excited that you had a kid @ 20 when life was probably all kinds of fucked up so that you dont end up being the oldest parent at the PTA meeting years later...

i cant even...

I think the wording might be poor. However, I agree with the sentiment. I am very happy I had my children young. I am looking forward to spending my latter years chilling with my wiz and not running around after youngings or raising teenagers. We are parents for life. It said, that the from ages 1-7 you play with your children (let them be kids) for our pervs out here. Ages 7-14 you discipline them and from ages 14 on you befriend them. I am in the befriending phase of my children's lives and it's mad cool.

i can dig this fam

good points

 

[Trillfate]

@SimplyKrys how come u dont use reactions? Try it

 

[Trillfate]

Yall just making more in the way people

^^^ slept on post

 

[MrMinimalist]

Let me travel the world first then I might have some.

 

[Shuffington]

"Mind Bottling"

I had to look that one up.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

Let me travel the world first then I might have some.

good idea.

seeing whats out there before you settle...great fukking idea

 

[MsSouthern]

I'm glad I had my son when I did

Never wanted to be the old lady mom at the elementary school lol

Lol @ old lady mom but at the rate I'm going that's probably going to be me. But on another note when I was in HS and I would hear these kids say, my mom is 30 something I would think to myself, that's embarrassing. I'm glad my mom didn't have me super young or that I didn't have a kid young af either.

Embarrassing ??? Why ???

I can guarantee we have provided our son a better life than a lot of his friends parents. And I'm not talking financially either

I was always way more involved than they were. Had the energy and desire to make sure he enjoyed life. Most are 10 years plus my senior.

 

[kzzl]

I will say this; before you have kids then make sure you are financially stable & great at budgeting. There's parents out here that been making a minimum of $32,640 a year for 15 years but when the child is old enough to drive. The parents doesn't have at least $1,500 a piece to offer half on a car. I be looking like "damn yall should've been in BMF.......................because yall blow money fast" smdh

your never financially stable for kids....

the bigger your account the bigger the life you'll live.

a long time job can downsize an let ya ass go.

so many things can happen...but you don't just stop living because of the what ifs.

so many things can go wrong.... an yet so many things can go right....you might raise a doctor or top engineer. that will take care of all your bills an buy the house you always wanted...

it all boils down to perspective...

but if kids will slow you down...then I guess it's safe to assume you are moving in the right direction in life

When you're kids clothes come from the salvation army, when you ain't consistently got lights on in your house, when you don't know when or if that next meal is coming, you ain't financially stable.

As Bossexcellence edited so slyly, not prepared. Cause poor planning is some horrible shit to put a child through willingly. You ain't gotta be rich, but you better be financially stable before you try to raise one.

"If you can't feed the baby, don't have the baby"- Micheal Jackson

all the things you named can happen to someone financially stable with huge savings.

you have no idea the things that can drain you

You're the one acting like you dont know about what can drain folks. Fairytale sayings of why a person shouldn't worry about being financially stable. Money is key to survival in America. Diapers, milk, health insurance, clothes... that shit requires money. Money a parent needs to have. The stress of not being able to provide that drains people to the point of adoption, abandonment, abortion, crime, and even suicide.

It doesnt matter if it can happen later, the point is to make the best decision at the time. For a nigga that's always speaking on the bad choices, fucked up priorities, and bad investments nigga make you being real hypocritical right now. This is a childs life, something way more important than starting a business, so no reason to get reckless now.

Its easy for him to say cause he's well off, at least by his post in many other threads. Thats not normal.

what's not normal?

I wouldn't say I'm well off...I'm cool. but I did it while I had kids. that's my point.

kids don't stop anything unless you allow it.

y'all niggas sound like a woman the won't go to college cuz she got a baby.

you will do what you want when you want. some people may need an excuse to get out of what they really didn't want to do.

just some people understand they have kids but must do better.

if you don't want kids... its as simple as you just don't want them. or not ready. anything else you will have to adapt to.

I never heard someone say....after this next check. we ready to have kids.

I'm not trynna talk anyone unto having them...I'm just saying the reasoning is flawed when it should just be simple.

You living above the household medium while u had kids was never the point here, pretty sure having kids motivates people to work harder to get to a point where it's no longer an issue. This was never an argument. Somehow u made it like that without being "hindered" by your kids, cool that's u, almost positive that's not the norm, at least from my perspective from all of the family and friends that I know that have a kid(s). At some point it was like, "damn I can't do this or that cause I have to pay for this for my kid or I don't wanna leave my child with this person for that long" these are all facts that I witnessed with my own eyes. U may call that "allowing it to happen cause of your child", I call it being apart of having a child, sacrificing some things for your child. Some people don't wanna go through that part.

right....i get where your coming from. not sayung it's not true. but the common thing I see...Is people making other peoples decisions sway their decision making.

Like with what you just said...to hear someone make it seem like they have to sacrifice because the kif needs something... that's that persons poor planning or selfishness.thats not your reality and you may raise your child completely different to never allow it to come to " sacrificing" for your child. that puts something negative on it. an you inturn hear the negative.

even with alot of money...a selfish person will make things seem like a sacrifice.

a person like @kzzl may just want things to be as close to perfect as possible or be able to provide a certain level of comfort... that's just not being ready yet. but when you think about all the things that can go wrong...that's something else along the lines of bring afraid of not being a good parent.

both are fine and ok to feel like that, just be honest about it and keep it simple. all the other stuff is fluff

but anyway....the people I know where not hindered by kids....those niggas was lazy before kids. now they have an excuse.

can i say having kids stopped fun sometimes....yep

but so did work, a sick wife, a sick dog. things gonna happen.

i just think niggas should keep it 100

The people i know aint lazy and those kids, their unexpected kids, hindered them. The problem here is that youre acting like that possibility doesnt exist. Based off the aint shit pocket of niggas youre always around and complaining about on here. You do that in a lot of threads, too.

To keep it 100 would be to say it depends on the individual and they circumstances at least. Using your own corner of bad examples to paint everybodies situation, that shit ain't 100 at all.

Your assumption about me is wrong btw, I don't believe shit needs to be perfect for having kids. I don't see anything that wasn't honest from me, so show me where I did that. But, I'd need crayons and time to make my point even more simple. I don't have either, so it'll be a minute before I respond, if at all.

And I could of seen he @d me a lot sooner if these ads wasn't blocking the notifications. What's up with that?

 

[2stepz_ahead]

I will say this; before you have kids then make sure you are financially stable & great at budgeting. There's parents out here that been making a minimum of $32,640 a year for 15 years but when the child is old enough to drive. The parents doesn't have at least $1,500 a piece to offer half on a car. I be looking like "damn yall should've been in BMF.......................because yall blow money fast" smdh

your never financially stable for kids....

the bigger your account the bigger the life you'll live.

a long time job can downsize an let ya ass go.

so many things can happen...but you don't just stop living because of the what ifs.

so many things can go wrong.... an yet so many things can go right....you might raise a doctor or top engineer. that will take care of all your bills an buy the house you always wanted...

it all boils down to perspective...

but if kids will slow you down...then I guess it's safe to assume you are moving in the right direction in life

When you're kids clothes come from the salvation army, when you ain't consistently got lights on in your house, when you don't know when or if that next meal is coming, you ain't financially stable.

As Bossexcellence edited so slyly, not prepared. Cause poor planning is some horrible shit to put a child through willingly. You ain't gotta be rich, but you better be financially stable before you try to raise one.

"If you can't feed the baby, don't have the baby"- Micheal Jackson

all the things you named can happen to someone financially stable with huge savings.

you have no idea the things that can drain you

You're the one acting like you dont know about what can drain folks. Fairytale sayings of why a person shouldn't worry about being financially stable. Money is key to survival in America. Diapers, milk, health insurance, clothes... that shit requires money. Money a parent needs to have. The stress of not being able to provide that drains people to the point of adoption, abandonment, abortion, crime, and even suicide.

It doesnt matter if it can happen later, the point is to make the best decision at the time. For a nigga that's always speaking on the bad choices, fucked up priorities, and bad investments nigga make you being real hypocritical right now. This is a childs life, something way more important than starting a business, so no reason to get reckless now.

Its easy for him to say cause he's well off, at least by his post in many other threads. Thats not normal.

what's not normal?

I wouldn't say I'm well off...I'm cool. but I did it while I had kids. that's my point.

kids don't stop anything unless you allow it.

y'all niggas sound like a woman the won't go to college cuz she got a baby.

you will do what you want when you want. some people may need an excuse to get out of what they really didn't want to do.

just some people understand they have kids but must do better.

if you don't want kids... its as simple as you just don't want them. or not ready. anything else you will have to adapt to.

I never heard someone say....after this next check. we ready to have kids.

I'm not trynna talk anyone unto having them...I'm just saying the reasoning is flawed when it should just be simple.

You living above the household medium while u had kids was never the point here, pretty sure having kids motivates people to work harder to get to a point where it's no longer an issue. This was never an argument. Somehow u made it like that without being "hindered" by your kids, cool that's u, almost positive that's not the norm, at least from my perspective from all of the family and friends that I know that have a kid(s). At some point it was like, "damn I can't do this or that cause I have to pay for this for my kid or I don't wanna leave my child with this person for that long" these are all facts that I witnessed with my own eyes. U may call that "allowing it to happen cause of your child", I call it being apart of having a child, sacrificing some things for your child. Some people don't wanna go through that part.

right....i get where your coming from. not sayung it's not true. but the common thing I see...Is people making other peoples decisions sway their decision making.

Like with what you just said...to hear someone make it seem like they have to sacrifice because the kif needs something... that's that persons poor planning or selfishness.thats not your reality and you may raise your child completely different to never allow it to come to " sacrificing" for your child. that puts something negative on it. an you inturn hear the negative.

even with alot of money...a selfish person will make things seem like a sacrifice.

a person like @kzzl may just want things to be as close to perfect as possible or be able to provide a certain level of comfort... that's just not being ready yet. but when you think about all the things that can go wrong...that's something else along the lines of bring afraid of not being a good parent.

both are fine and ok to feel like that, just be honest about it and keep it simple. all the other stuff is fluff

but anyway....the people I know where not hindered by kids....those niggas was lazy before kids. now they have an excuse.

can i say having kids stopped fun sometimes....yep

but so did work, a sick wife, a sick dog. things gonna happen.

i just think niggas should keep it 100

The people i know aint lazy and those kids, their unexpected kids, hindered them. The problem here is that youre acting like that possibility doesnt exist. Based off the aint shit pocket of niggas youre always around and complaining about on here. You do that in a lot of threads, too.

To keep it 100 would be to say it depends on the individual and they circumstances at least. Using your own corner of bad examples to paint everybodies situation, that shit ain't 100 at all.

Your assumption about me is wrong btw, I don't believe shit needs to be perfect for having kids. I don't see anything that wasn't honest from me, so show me where I did that. But, I'd need crayons and time to make my point even more simple. I don't have either, so it'll be a minute before I respond, if at all.

And I could of seen he @d me a lot sooner if these ads wasn't blocking the notifications. What's up with that?

you know...maybe you having a bad day....you niggas get in ya feelings too fast.

calm down nigga.

 

[PILL_COSBY]

Ran into a teenager at fast food joint working the cash register...fou d out i grew up with her mama...felt old as shit.

BRUH!!! This shit just happened to me a few months ago. I went to the D.M.V to renew my license. This little young cute thick chick and her friend was lightweight flirting with me and kept on looking at me extra long. I basically waved her lil jail bait ass off and told her to keep it pushing in a nice way. So as I was leaving I ran into this chick I went to jr high and high school with. We the same age(just turned 33). I asked what she was up there for and she said it was for her daughter to take her drivers test. I completely forgot she got knocked up in the 10th grade by the local drug dealer/bad boy. Then here comes her daughter and her friend. If it aint obvious by now, it was the lil chick flirting with me. Her friend was actually her little sister lol. She was 18 and her little sister like 16 or 17.

Both of them looked like they were in their early 20's and could have been her little sisters. Bruh, I felt weird and old at the same damn time! One of the most awkward situations I been in.

 

[PILL_COSBY]

I guess I'll be one of the few trill posters left on here again and call some bull shit out. Some of y'all act like y'all aint dropped baby mama/baby daddy horror stories on here before lol. I'm shocked how much some of y'all lying about your situations.

I feel the same way as the tread starter. I'm not trying to bring a child into a not so well situation. I also don't want to compromise my freedom until I feel lt's time to do so. Some of y'all refuse or just don't want to admit that raising a human being will slow you down and put your life on pause. That's if you want to be an actual parent. Not do like a scary amount of people do, and put them off on others(parents, other family, baby sitter) while you do your thing. People think that shit is being a parent. What it really is, is that person still wanting to live out their life without that responsibility. I've seen too many people who was raised mostly by others instead of their parents/parent. Damn near all of them got or had some type of issues because of this. Just look at all these famous people kids that were raised mostly by nanny's and shit.....

Until the right conditions are met, I'm not bout to have a damn kid lol. If they never are met, then oh well, saved the world from another screwed up kid who didn't get enough love/time growing up. Y'all claim your sooooo happy and blessed, but you really aint. KEEP IT ALL THE WAY 3HUNNA. Not buying all these young ass parents happy stories lol.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

I guess I'll be one of the few trill posters left on here again and call some bull shit out. Some of y'all act like y'all aint dropped baby mama/baby daddy horror stories on here before lol. I'm shocked how much some of y'all lying about your situations.

I feel the same way as the tread starter. I'm not trying to bring a child into a not so well situation. I also don't want to compromise my freedom until I feel lt's time to do so. Some of y'all refuse or just don't want to admit that raising a human being will slow you down and put your life on pause. That's if you want to be an actual parent. Not do like a scary amount of people do, and put them off on others(parents, other family, baby sitter) while you do your thing. People think that shit is being a parent. What it really is, is that person still wanting to live out their life without that responsibility. I've seen too many people who was raised mostly by others instead of their parents/parent. Damn near all of them got or had some type of issues because of this. Just look at all these famous people kids that were raised mostly by nanny's and shit.....

Until the right conditions are met, I'm not bout to have a damn kid lol. If they never are met, then oh well, saved the world from another screwed up kid who didn't get enough love/time growing up. Y'all claim your sooooo happy and blessed, but you really aint. KEEP IT ALL THE WAY 3HUNNA. Not buying all these young ass parents happy stories lol.

bruh...I will be the first to say I have horror stories....but I will also say it's because of who I selected and that is MY reality.

now you might find a chick that won't put you thru the shit I been thru. do you now look at me like I don't know what I was doing? who's story will people use as a lesson?

don't matter how happy someone is. people will always allow the bad an negative to outeright the other stuff.

I would never tell anyone to have a kid. not will I say never have one because of my crazy situation. but I will day...I've been around long enough to know what I know. I seen this play out time and time again.

I'm getting up there in Age and know alot of people who set standards....that's cool and dandy. but what I'm saying is all that shit doesn't mean anything if you yourself are not ready.

that's all I'm getting at.

I know a chick whis kid gotta be in name brand shit. know another whks kid actually does wesr thrift shop shit. both kids are good kids. both parents make nice money. one doesn't want her child being attached to labels because clothes are just for cover. the other wants her kid always fly. one does alot of shit with her kid. the other is going for her PhD. both single mothers. ones father is involved the other is not.

shit happens. nothing you can do to stop it. it's admirable that y'all wanna line up all the ducks...but are you really gonna keep a check list? no...you will do it when you are ready.even after the check list you may not be ready. then what?

God forbid an oopsie happens.....then what? do you really think your life is over? if you not with the chick like that...what are your plans?

maybe that needs to be it's own thread.

 

[Shuffington]

Not buying all these young ass parents happy stories lol.

Right...lol

Reminds me of this bit by Louis CK

START AT THE 3:00min mark

 

[MsSouthern]

It wasn't always easy. Especially in the beginning

But my son never knew.

It took a village to raise him ... I think we did a great job too

 

[PILL_COSBY]

@2stepz_ahead

Just reading your post just made me even more focused and careful. Of what women I fuck with and to avoid having kids at the wrong time. God bless you brother, hope everything works out for you lol.

Me personally I'm trying to travel more, date more and get it out my system while I can. Let me see what's out there first and be ready internally as a person before I take the leap.

Bruh, like it's crazy how many people out here can't fathom using this common sense. It's really not all that hard. Not busting a nut up in a broad raw you really don't know all that well is not hard. Using contraceptives before sex is not hard. You fuck raw, a baby comes out! I remember when people was really going in on brother lurk for being with his high school sweet heart for so long. They really thought something was weird about him actually getting to know the girl before he knocked her up and married her. I remember this one cute young chick posted on here she was a virgin.The backlash was ridiculous, like something was wrong with that. They mad she is careful of who she let up in her pussy and hasn't decided yet. I remember chicks was going in on a girl who's never been cheated on....wtf?

It's like what a few posters said already. Doing the right thing is looked down upon now at days. Being a fuck up is "cool" and always has an excuse to hide behind. "Bad decisions" are called "mistakes" now lol.

It wasn't always easy. Especially in the beginning

But my son never knew.

It took a village to raise him ... I think we did a great job too

SMH, see this is that denial shit I'm talking about. Not trying to throw you under the bus. But this just shows how much people are not thinking to much into it as they should. Kids are growing human beings who are just taking in everything as they grow. So many people don't take this as serious as they need to. So many people make this mistake about their children. In case you don't know, kids see everything!!!! Later they start to piece it together but they usually hide it from their parents. The effects can take many forms and you can easily miss them. I can give plenty examples. Your son is probably showing a bunch of signs and you just might be the type to miss them. He might hold all that shit in and then later on act out and explain that it comes from his childhood. This shit happens a lot with people.

 

[PILL_COSBY]

some of ya'lls life's aspirations are mind bottling

instead of being someone who is older and perhaps in a better situation overall to bring a kid in the world, you excited that you had a kid @ 20 when life was probably all kinds of fucked up so that you dont end up being the oldest parent at the PTA meeting years later...

i cant even...

LOL basically what I just posted. I know exactly who this was aimed at as well. I could really go in on some people but I don't get down like that unless it's called for. This has got to be the most oldest/tiredest excuse that females who were careless with there pussies use. The other one is "all birth control is not 100%". Just keep it real and admit you made a bad decision, not a mistake. How the fuck you make a mistake when it comes to having raw sex(multiple times in some cases)? How in all fucks do you mistakenly have raw sex with somebody you really don't know all that well? Or with somebody you do know is not a suitable parent? All this and more on the next episode of dragonball IC!

All this

"the future is not certain, you don't know what's gonna happen"

"Get off your high horse everybody makes mistakes"

Shit is just a defense for people who always fucking up. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[CapitalB]

with age comes experience..

the older u get if u have an iq higher then a cucumber u should get a better handle on life..

when uv felt uv reached that point and u choose to handle another life I say go for it..

but youth pregnancies I don't condone..

ur not allowed to vote until ur 18.. can't walk into a bar and order a drink until ur 21.. no way should u be having a kid then..

my great grandma had her firstborn in her teens.. grandma in her teens.. moms in her teens.. aunts and cousins In they teens iv seen the horror! hahaha

moms told me young to break the cycle.. and that I did by having my first and so far only at 32..

but when I was younger my family tried to pressure me.. but I told them I was broke..

then when I started getting money in my mid to late 20s I told them I didnt have the time..

it wasn't until my 30s that I figured id go for it..

I had the money.. the time.. and my shit in order.. had the girl I wanted to have my child and made it happen..

wasn't nothin romantic about my daughter's conception.. it was basically me deciding I wanted a child.. out of all my girls I knew who the mother would be and told her she was gonna have my child ..I also knew what sign I wanted the child to be so I made her get off birth control and for that month even if it wasn't her day id go over there for a few. hahaha

fast forward 3yrs and shits a breeze..

but I tell everyone like Im telling y'all.. u gotta build it before they come if u want it to be a smooth transition.. me and my girl was together 5yrs before I knew she was the one.. and thats only after I molded her into the person I wanted her to be..

as much as I wanted kids I know how I am with kids.. kids that aint even mine so I refused to give jus any ol' bitch that kind of power over me.. before I got her pregnant we had talks.. while she was pregnant we had talks.. and I think jus yesterday I brought it up in convo how I'm STILL stupid "so don't try me bitch!" hahaha

so far so good.

 

[MasterJayN100]

 

[JonnyRoccIT]

Mannnn FUCK this thread