What to do when your s/o lets themselves go?

[Crude_]

Lol at people thinking honesty is always the best policy.

Depending on how important something is to you sometimes its better to just lie to keep the harmony.

Like when?

About a lot of shit.

I've learned if the shit isn't a real big deal to you some thoughts are better left unspoken everything don't need to be shared.

Yes, I know its kinda an against the grain view though.

But that's irrelevant for the purposes of this thread...since we're talking about something that clearly is a big deal to T/S.

If he done voiced his opinion and his lady ain't feeling it it might be time for him to move on.

My comments about being to honest were more so to the other posters commenting on his issue.

 

[CapitalB]

i didnt even attempt to read that shit..

aint like im the one wit relationship problems.. so why should i have to suffer?? lol

 

[Chi Snow]

i didnt even attempt to read that shit..

aint like im the one wit relationship problems.. so why should i have to suffer?? lol

You know how you see a post and look down and see sig?? I ain't see it and I couldn't see her screenname no more

I knew I was in for a Tolkien-esque novel, no offense Top

change comes from within.

sure, positive and negative feedback influences our actions and decisions, but self-growth/development is an inside job.

some of the tactics described in the thread, e.g., withholding sex, dropping clues, etc., may help get you through the midterm (by influencing her to get her shit together) but it won't help you graduate (ultimately have a fulfilling relationship with the sexy woman you fell in love with).

ask her how she feels? mention the frequent naps and low-energy -- do not point out the weight gain or unkept appearance. let her know you want to make sure she's okay. listen to what she says and doesn't say (e.g. "I hate my job.. My family is driving me nuts...I'm failing apart...I'm gaining weight...can't fit my clothes...my hair is a mess...OR I feel so happy and comfortable now...I'm finally able to be myself...I'm finally able to rest after years of running...etc).

most women, if not all, want to look good. there's usually a reason why we stop keeping up with our appearance. It may no longer be a priority to us...we feel low or depressed...we may feel we look good without the extra efforts of exercise or hair care...we may be tired of the unwanted attention from men...we may have been abused or have been sexually accosted...etc. etc. If you genuinely love and are committed to her, offer her a supportive environment while SHE figures that out first.

give her some time to sort things out on her own. provide her with a loving and supportive environment that contributes to her (and your!) success (e.g., healthy snacks, initiate but don't guilt-trip exercise-type activities). Revisit the health of your relationship, your feelings and her self growth two months from now.

If no change or she falls off even more, this may be who she is (that's not to say she won't ever change). Love her or leave her alone. You both will be better off.

Gots to wrap this shit up b

I skimmed. It was good advice.

I'm not one to talk about somebody writing titangraphs though so...take that with a grain of salt

I'm sure someone was inspired

Not me tho

 

[S2J]

change comes from within.

sure, positive and negative feedback influences our actions and decisions, but self-growth/development is an inside job.

some of the tactics described in the thread, e.g., withholding sex, dropping clues, etc., may help get you through the midterm (by influencing her to get her shit together) but it won't help you graduate (ultimately have a fulfilling relationship with the sexy woman you fell in love with).

ask her how she feels? mention the frequent naps and low-energy -- do not point out the weight gain or unkept appearance. let her know you want to make sure she's okay. listen to what she says and doesn't say (e.g. "I hate my job.. My family is driving me nuts...I'm failing apart...I'm gaining weight...can't fit my clothes...my hair is a mess...OR I feel so happy and comfortable now...I'm finally able to be myself...I'm finally able to rest after years of running...etc).

most women, if not all, want to look good. there's usually a reason why we stop keeping up with our appearance. It may no longer be a priority to us...we feel low or depressed...we may feel we look good without the extra efforts of exercise or hair care...we may be tired of the unwanted attention from men...we may have been abused or have been sexually accosted...etc. etc. If you genuinely love and are committed to her, offer her a supportive environment while SHE figures that out first.

give her some time to sort things out on her own. provide her with a loving and supportive environment that contributes to her (and your!) success (e.g., healthy snacks, initiate but don't guilt-trip exercise-type activities). Revisit the health of your relationship, your feelings and her self growth two months from now.

If no change or she falls off even more, this may be who she is (that's not to say she won't ever change). Love her or leave her alone. You both will be better off.

That works in principle, but cmon people real life examples trump that

Unless that discipline is already there, IRL, workin out gon take a back seat. The percentages just arent in favor of a woman REALLY fallin off and comin back. More than likely, she's DONE. T/s, She's done.

Best bet is if she's obese, she can get to fat. If she's fat, she can get to chubby, Really thats about it. But you still aint answer: How did she come into the relationship?!?! I been there. I had a chick that was 'thick', i dont see her for a semester, and she was chubby. Ballgame. Its NOT coming back. These wondderful positive peope will give you plenty examples of it happening, but the percentages are not in your favor. Now if thats your soulmate or whatever, oh no doubt try to talk to her n all at, but be prepared to take that eternal L. (im asuming she's really fell the fuk off)

 

[S2J]

If no change or she falls off even more, this may be who she is (that's not to say she won't ever change). Love her or leave her alone. You both will be better off.

Oh, i didnt catch this. @top so after sayin all that, how you add this lil smallprint? lol thats the headline! T/s, Top is politley telling you exactly what i just said. Be prepared for that L.

 

[topoftheworld]

change comes from within.

sure, positive and negative feedback influences our actions and decisions, but self-growth/development is an inside job.

some of the tactics described in the thread, e.g., withholding sex, dropping clues, etc., may help get you through the midterm (by influencing her to get her shit together) but it won't help you graduate (ultimately have a fulfilling relationship with the sexy woman you fell in love with).

ask her how she feels? mention the frequent naps and low-energy -- do not point out the weight gain or unkept appearance. let her know you want to make sure she's okay. listen to what she says and doesn't say (e.g. "I hate my job.. My family is driving me nuts...I'm failing apart...I'm gaining weight...can't fit my clothes...my hair is a mess...OR I feel so happy and comfortable now...I'm finally able to be myself...I'm finally able to rest after years of running...etc).

most women, if not all, want to look good. there's usually a reason why we stop keeping up with our appearance. It may no longer be a priority to us...we feel low or depressed...we may feel we look good without the extra efforts of exercise or hair care...we may be tired of the unwanted attention from men...we may have been abused or have been sexually accosted...etc. etc. If you genuinely love and are committed to her, offer her a supportive environment while SHE figures that out first.

give her some time to sort things out on her own. provide her with a loving and supportive environment that contributes to her (and your!) success (e.g., healthy snacks, initiate but don't guilt-trip exercise-type activities). Revisit the health of your relationship, your feelings and her self growth two months from now.

If no change or she falls off even more, this may be who she is (that's not to say she won't ever change). Love her or leave her alone. You both will be better off.

Gots to wrap this shit up b

yeah okay, Chi



no future in the frontin, lol

 

[ms.jones]

His girl is not depressed. She feel like she has dude on lock, so her real self is beginning to show.

Stick around long enough and you'll knock her up, if she isn't already. You thought that ass was wide now, just you wait.

You'll be the guy sneaking in comments to the slim chicks at the gym, hoping on of them takes the bait.

 

[Knock_Twice]

His girl is not depressed. She feel like she has dude on lock, so her real self is beginning to show.

Stick around long enough and you'll knock her up, if she isn't already. You thought that ass was wide now, just you wait.

You'll be the guy sneaking in comments to the slim chicks at the gym, hoping on of them takes the bait.

Lol..

I was just about to say this...

If she really liked/loved this nigga..she'll try and attempt to lose weight

Nothing like a bitch thinking she got her man and letting herself go...that's some selfish shit..just ordering and eating snacks and shit just cuz you can't sleep or bored..thinking every TV show you watch, you gotta eat something while watching it..smh lol..some sad shit..

That's one side of the issue..if she like the nigga and know she getting big (a woman knows) she'll get her big ass a membership somewhere..

 

[CapitalB]

His girl is not depressed. She feel like she has dude on lock, so her real self is beginning to show.

Stick around long enough and you'll knock her up, if she isn't already. You thought that ass was wide now, just you wait.

You'll be the guy sneaking in comments to the slim chicks at the gym, hoping on of them takes the bait.

exaaaaaaaaactly..

probably jus moved in amd everything..

go get the bitch pregnant.. marry her and even tho he cant stand the sight of her fuck her anyway..

word to monk..

"real man shit" lol

 

[topoftheworld]

If no change or she falls off even more, this may be who she is (that's not to say she won't ever change). Love her or leave her alone. You both will be better off.

Oh, i didnt catch this. @top so after sayin all that, how you add this lil smallprint? lol thats the headline! T/s, Top is politley telling you exactly what i just said. Be prepared for that L.

lol @S2J‌ you have to ease into it. it doesn't discredit the rest of my titangraph, tho lol

 

[Westie]

His girl is not depressed. She feel like she has dude on lock, so her real self is beginning to show.

Stick around long enough and you'll knock her up, if she isn't already. You thought that ass was wide now, just you wait.

You'll be the guy sneaking in comments to the slim chicks at the gym, hoping on of them takes the bait.

It's not just getting chubby and bitchy. The excessive sleep is definitely a symptom. Can't diagnose her but it's a possibility.

 

[CapitalB]

His girl is not depressed. She feel like she has dude on lock, so her real self is beginning to show.

Stick around long enough and you'll knock her up, if she isn't already. You thought that ass was wide now, just you wait.

You'll be the guy sneaking in comments to the slim chicks at the gym, hoping on of them takes the bait.

It's not just getting chubby and bitchy. The excessive sleep is definitely a symptom. Can't diagnose her but it's a possibility.

bitches get comfortable.. bitches get lazy.. sleepin alot is definitely a symptom of laziness..

 

[mryounggun]

Not really sure how any one of us can say for sure that his woman is or isn't depressed. None of us actually know her except him. With that being said...shorty ain't depressed. *shrugs*

 

[S2J]

If no change or she falls off even more, this may be who she is (that's not to say she won't ever change). Love her or leave her alone. You both will be better off.

Oh, i didnt catch this. @top so after sayin all that, how you add this lil smallprint? lol thats the headline! T/s, Top is politley telling you exactly what i just said. Be prepared for that L.

lol @S2J‌ you have to ease into it. it doesn't discredit the rest of my titangraph, tho lol

Lol Now Top, you know...thats the language of a trap. Even if she loses it now, She cant sustain that. One does not just stop napping and snacking forever. Thats her wheelhouse. That's what she do. She may lose enough to make him happy, then get married, and then its a wrap. She pullin a Dave Chapelle on him, 'gotcha bytch'.

 

[ms.jones]

His girl is not depressed. She feel like she has dude on lock, so her real self is beginning to show.

Stick around long enough and you'll knock her up, if she isn't already. You thought that ass was wide now, just you wait.

You'll be the guy sneaking in comments to the slim chicks at the gym, hoping on of them takes the bait.

It's not just getting chubby and bitchy. The excessive sleep is definitely a symptom. Can't diagnose her but it's a possibility.

Westie, she probably goes to sleep with cookies next to her while a rerun of Love and Hip Hop is on. She sleeps alot because she eats alot. Ol boy confirmed it in so many ways.

Bruh... Got get ya chick a pregnancy test.

 

[DarcSkies]

His girl is not depressed. She feel like she has dude on lock, so her real self is beginning to show.

Stick around long enough and you'll knock her up, if she isn't already. You thought that ass was wide now, just you wait.

You'll be the guy sneaking in comments to the slim chicks at the gym, hoping on of them takes the bait.

There is a correlation between obesity and depression though. Stress levels affect the way the body processes food which in turn may cause the body not to process sugar and turn it into energy like it otherwise would if said person was not under a lot of stress.

That said, that's where discipline and self-love come in. She may lack the drive necessary to not let whatever is keeping her down emotionally from affecting the upkeep of her body.

 

[Chi Snow]

Not really sure how any one of us can say for sure that his woman is or isn't depressed. None of us actually know her except him. With that being said...shorty ain't depressed. *shrugs*

There ain't no 'his woman'

This nigga made a troll thread that he abandoned about fat lazy chicks and you nignogs ran with it

 

[Westie]

His girl is not depressed. She feel like she has dude on lock, so her real self is beginning to show.

Stick around long enough and you'll knock her up, if she isn't already. You thought that ass was wide now, just you wait.

You'll be the guy sneaking in comments to the slim chicks at the gym, hoping on of them takes the bait.

It's not just getting chubby and bitchy. The excessive sleep is definitely a symptom. Can't diagnose her but it's a possibility.

Westie, she probably goes to sleep with cookies next to her while a rerun of Love and Hip Hop is on. She sleeps alot because she eats alot. Ol boy confirmed it in so many ways.

Bruh... Got get ya chick a pregnancy test.

Lol I love the visual.

I still think she's depressed tho. The symptoms are there. *shrugs*

 

[ms.jones]

His girl is not depressed. She feel like she has dude on lock, so her real self is beginning to show.

Stick around long enough and you'll knock her up, if she isn't already. You thought that ass was wide now, just you wait.

You'll be the guy sneaking in comments to the slim chicks at the gym, hoping on of them takes the bait.

There is a correlation between obesity and depression though. Stress levels affect the way the body processes food which in turn may cause the body not to process sugar and turn it into energy like it otherwise would if said person was not under a lot of stress.

That said, that's where discipline and self-love come in. She may lack the drive necessary to not let whatever is keeping her down emotionally from affecting the upkeep of her body.

Dark, he said this was a gradual progression, meaning shorty had all the right weaponry in the beginning.

As time went on and he stuck around longer than anyone else, the habits that we keep hidden in the beginning started to surface. The effort she put into getting him began to wane, because, in my opinion, she feels that she has him. She doesn't have to put in that work because, I mean... He's still here after all, right (Hypothetically thinking)?

She gets any when he doesn't initiate sex. Why? Because that's all she reallyhas to offer. He cant talk to her about the issue he's having, can't do the things he likes to do, like going to the gym as a couple, and she is pretty much refusing his help as her man.

She's showing her aintshitness. A few have said it, we really don't know her or the circumstances, however from a very surface level, it seems as if she's a basic individual.

 

[CapitalB]

see... thats why i love me some MsJ..

never disappoints...