scumbag!

[grYmes]

I was 18 & I was on a dry spell when it came to smashin fine girls. My girl broke up with me at the beginning of the summer & I was scraping the bottom of the barrel. This one chick I used to go out with (we already fucked) called me out the blue. It was in December during Christmas break (senior year of high school). Apparently she stole a car & she was staying at some crazy half way house for bad ass teenage females. She was 17 at the time. Thick in all the wrong places & was so dark cops pull her over while riding a bike for having too much tint. She did give good head & the pussy was straight so I indulged.

Anyways, she wanted me to meet her outside while she sneaked out. I rolled over there & waited. It was at least 40 degrees outside & around 1 AM. After about 10 minutes of waiting she came running down the stairs & she almost tripped. I was dead, she cussed me out but I smoothed her over. After about 15 minutes of acting like I cared about her Orange is the New Black situation she started grabbing my shit & made me follow her to the back of the building. Next thing I know she laid out on the grass, pants down her ankles & I'm bangin her out with my hand over her mouth so she don't wake nobody up. I'm about the nut but in the corner of my eye I see a cop car & I popped right the fuck up. She gets shot in the eyes & is blinded. The cop car just went to a different building & he didn't even see us.

After that I just dipped while she sat there, bare ass with the day care in her eyes. That was my rock bottom as far as relations with the females. I remember being so fuckin disgusted with myself. She kept calling my mom's house & my cell phone but I avoided that bitch. Why she'd still wanna call after that I'll never know.

 

[AP21]

damn...now Dallas has entered as a challenger..lmao

 

[dallas' 4 eva]

damn...now Dallas has entered as a challenger..lmao

Man I'm upset yahoo shit down my old email account, I need to see if I can get it back that email had all my shit stored in it.

 

[Knock_Twice]

Man I may have told this story before in another thread but fuck it..

1st time in Vegas

1st time in Vegas, we go there for one of Mayweather's fight, so before we left, another patna of ours was telling us about the strippers and tricking that you can do down there. So we like bet, We get to Vegas (it's 3 or us) We walking up and down the strip and they are handing you these cards of stripper/escorts and shit. So my patna JL (the nigga who brother only wears white jeans) was like mane Knock, I want an Asian chick, so he walks up to a dude who so happen to have some cards with some Asians chicks. So he's like bet, we go hit them up tonight..and I'm like "we" nigga, nigga Ima be on the tables all night, fuck I look like tricking off,

So the night comes..we all in the hotel room chilling shooting the shits, (3 of us) JL was like man I'm about to call the Asian chick, I"m trying to get some that fried rice sprinkle on my dick tonight LOL) so the other dude was like man Ima about to take a nap (bitch nigga) before we go out. So I was like man I'm about to get back on these tables, I'm in the hole 300, and I'm trying to walk that down before we leave...JL was like chill mane, I'm bout to call the chicks, so he hops on the phone and calls them, They come over, it's 3 Asians, all busted the fuck up. So I was like man yall don't look like the chicks on the cards LOL, and they was like what card? So I handed them the card and said "see those girls" and they all looked at the card and "giggles" and toss that shit in the air/trash so I'm like...well ok.. I guess the chicks on the cards don't count for shit LMAO bruh, So the leader of the pack of 3 was like we charge 300 hunnid, for this and that, I was like man I'm out, I aint paying for that shit and yall don't even look like what's on that card, my patna JL was like man I aint paying yall strong pie-face hoes nothing, yall can suck this dick though for free though.. the other nigga is in the bed napping...now mind you, the room aint that big so we all next to each other in a sense. So the Asian chick, I guess the leader of the pack, blows the fuck up, starts cussin us out about how we made them drive across town and got to throwing the magazines that be on the hotel's mini desk at JL...so I'm like ole shit, stop that yo LOL, she's loud now cussing us out and poking JL with her finger, so I jump up, cuz I was sitting on the edge of the bed and I tried to stop her, the other two had that "nigga I wouldn't do that if I was you" look on their faces..so I stayed put..So the leader is cussing and throwing the rest of magazines at JL and then she starts to throw the cups and pieces of the ice we had in the ice bucket at our asses and other shit at us, so now we in panic mode and JL pulls out his wallet and was like here...here...here is 20 dollars, take it, take it...just go away bruh I'm on the edge of the bed scared as fuck, cuz. 1. They loud/screaming (I know someone has called downstairs, and all of us are going to jail in Vegas) 2. I'm also thinking that the pimp about to come in and shoot all our asses any minute. and 3. the nigga that's taking a nap is still under the covers napping and I can't believe his ass aint get up

So finally the leader of the pack, takes the 20 dollars and spits on the floor of the hotel room, the other 2 chicks still staring at me, walks out behind the chick and spits on the floor too LOL. They walked out and left the door open. I quickly ran towards the door, shuts it/lock it and then I grab the mini desk chair and placed that bitch under the door handle just in case they was coming back, breh LOL.

We must have stayed in the room for a good 1hr laughing at what the fuck had just happened

 

[caddo man]

Pasty fat Fuck​

So When I first joined the world greatest Navy. I was stationed in Norfolk, VA. Back in those days you can drive the base easily. All you needed was a base sticker. I most cases you didnt even need that. So on Friday's I would stand at pier 12 by the phone booth waiting for the women to start driving by to pick up a sailor for a good time. (Shit sound like the hoe stroll right?) I didnt have a car and barely any money to speak of.

All you had to do was wave down these chicks and they would stop. Spit your game and you was taken care of for a weekend or longer. I have to admit. I have no game. I am just tall and handsome, so that got them to stop. After that it was a crap shoot. I struck out alot, But lets just say Fat White Women loved me. That was all I could get for damn near a year. I would have all types stop to holla but my lack of game relegated me to Fat White women. Eventually I gave in and spent plenty nights eating good and fucking pasty fat white bitches. Most of them would want to continue a relationship but I wanted more quality. Finally I thought I hit the jackpot. Fine black chick that was actually friends with a bustdown that I was cool with. Word of mouth fuck.

(I think I dropped the detailed story below in the thread ealier)

Long story short. This bitch was married, already preggo and fucking everything that moved. I wasnt used to that cause all the bitches I fucked with was on some desperate shit. My game wasnt equipped for that L!

Well I got a car and my game instantly got better. No mo Phone booth pimping (hoe stroll) for me. I was actually riding up on bitches. I didnt have to rely on fat white pussy for another two years. But that is a story for another time.

 

[Trollio]

Man I may have told this story before in another thread but fuck it..

1st time in Vegas

1st time in Vegas, we go there for one of Mayweather's fight, so before we left, another patna of ours was telling us about the strippers and tricking that you can do down there. So we like bet, We get to Vegas (it's 3 or us) We walking up and down the strip and they are handing you these cards of stripper/escorts and shit. So my patna JL (the nigga who brother only wears white jeans) was like mane Knock, I want an Asian chick, so he walks up to a dude who so happen to have some cards with some Asians chicks. So he's like bet, we go hit them up tonight..and I'm like "we" nigga, nigga Ima be on the tables all night, fuck I look like tricking off,

So the night comes..we all in the hotel room chilling shooting the shits, (3 of us) JL was like man I'm about to call the Asian chick, I"m trying to get some that fried rice sprinkle on my dick tonight LOL) so the other dude was like man Ima about to take a nap (bitch nigga) before we go out. So I was like man I'm about to get back on these tables, I'm in the hole 300, and I'm trying to walk that down before we leave...JL was like chill mane, I'm bout to call the chicks, so he hops on the phone and calls them, They come over, it's 3 Asians, all busted the fuck up. So I was like man yall don't look like the chicks on the cards LOL, and they was like what card? So I handed them the card and said "see those girls" and they all looked at the card and "giggles" and toss that shit in the air/trash so I'm like...well ok.. I guess the chicks on the cards don't count for shit LMAO bruh, So the leader of the pack of 3 was like we charge 300 hunnid, for this and that, I was like man I'm out, I aint paying for that shit and yall don't even look like what's on that card, my patna JL was like man I aint paying yall strong pie-face hoes nothing, yall can suck this dick though for free though.. the other nigga is in the bed napping...now mind you, the room aint that big so we all next to each other in a sense. So the Asian chick, I guess the leader of the pack, blows the fuck up, starts cussin us out about how we made them drive across town and got to throwing the magazines that be on the hotel's mini desk at JL...so I'm like ole shit, stop that yo LOL, she's loud now cussing us out and poking JL with her finger, so I jump up, cuz I was sitting on the edge of the bed and I tried to stop her, the other two had that "nigga I wouldn't do that if I was you" look on their faces..so I stayed put..So the leader is cussing and throwing the rest of magazines at JL and then she starts to throw the cups and pieces of the ice we had in the ice bucket at our asses and other shit at us, so now we in panic mode and JL pulls out his wallet and was like here...here...here is 20 dollars, take it, take it...just go away bruh I'm on the edge of the bed scared as fuck, cuz. 1. They loud/screaming (I know someone has called downstairs, and all of us are going to jail in Vegas) 2. I'm also thinking that the pimp about to come in and shoot all our asses any minute. and 3. the nigga that's taking a nap is still under the covers napping and I can't believe his ass aint get up

So finally the leader of the pack, takes the 20 dollars and spits on the floor of the hotel room, the other 2 chicks still staring at me, walks out behind the chick and spits on the floor too LOL. They walked out and left the door open. I quickly ran towards the door, shuts it/lock it and then I grab the mini desk chair and placed that bitch under the door handle just in case they was coming back, breh LOL.

We must have stayed in the room for a good 1hr laughing at what the fuck had just happened

yall let lucy lui spit on the floor

 

[Trollio]

Pasty fat Fuck​

So When I first joined the world greatest Navy. I was stationed in Norfolk, VA. Back in those days you can drive the base easily. All you needed was a base sticker. I most cases you didnt even need that. So on Friday's I would stand at pier 12 by the phone booth waiting for the women to start driving by to pick up a sailor for a good time. (Shit sound like the hoe stroll right?) I didnt have a car and barely any money to speak of.

All you had to do was wave down these chicks and they would stop. Spit your game and you was taken care of for a weekend or longer. I have to admit. I have no game. I am just tall and handsome, so that got them to stop. After that it was a crap shoot. I struck out alot, But lets just say Fat White Women loved me. That was all I could get for damn near a year. I would have all types stop to holla but my lack of game relegated me to Fat White women. Eventually I gave in and spent plenty nights eating good and fucking pasty fat white bitches. Most of them would want to continue a relationship but I wanted more quality. Finally I thought I hit the jackpot. Fine black chick that was actually friends with a bustdown that I was cool with. Word of mouth fuck.

(I think I dropped the detailed story below in the thread ealier)

Long story short. This bitch was married, already preggo and fucking everything that moved. I wasnt used to that cause all the bitches I fucked with was on some desperate shit. My game wasnt equipped for that L!

Well I got a car and my game instantly got better. No mo Phone booth pimping (hoe stroll) for me. I was actually riding up on bitches. I didnt have to rely on fat white pussy for another two years. But that is a story for another time.

so you in the navy and still selling ass?

damn uncle sam so cold

 

[dallas' 4 eva]

My first threesome I literally walked into it with no intention of trying to get pussy. I had my crown vic about a month, already put a paint job on it, but I needed some bang in my shit. My potna would do the work for me on the low hooking it up, and I already had two 12s I was gonna throw in the trunk but I needed an amp, and the one I wanted was gone run me a grip.

I'm on the lane at Spain's(Big Mama's for you new niggas) with 3 of my potnas getting a gizzard basket, when we get a call from this nigga we fuck with out in Frisco saying there's a party at this one rich ass bitch crib that we knew. So in our minds we was like hell yeah we gone go hit a lick on this bitch. We mash out to Frisco soon as we got off the phone. We get there can't lie this party was turnt already and it was only 11 o clock.

We all head inside to do our thing and see how we could come up. I go to the master bedroom off the muscle. It was dark then a bitch in there but I heard two voices who sounded like females. I hit walk toward the bed and the lamp comes on it's the rich bitch and her other rich ass friend just chilling in the bed in they bras and panties. I knew both of these hoes I ask them 'Damn y'all dykin now or something?' they gone reply nah they was just having fun(bitches was drunk as a fucking fish), so I said oh alright and I turn to leave the room(my mission was paper not pussy) they gonne say 'Ran you leaving so soon?' I thought to myself was I really gonna pass this oppurtunity up(Knowing I would have many more threesomes later I would have knowing what I know now).

So I go lock the bedroom door and put a chair underneath the handle and hit the sack with them and fuck the shit out of both of these hoes. First time I got my dick sucked and balls sucked at the same time(CLAWD ALMIGHTY BEST FEELING EVER!!!!). These hoes passed out on a nigga from all the drank(I think they was gone off a bar too), so when they went to sleep I went in these bitches purses and got they ass for about 3 bills and left em there. Linked up with my bros and we dipped. Them hoes never even figured out I had took all they chocho's neither cause they was that fucked up.

 

[ChillaDaGawd]

So I was fucking with this single mama for awhile. ...bitch was a freak but she never wanted to fuck at her place. She told me her two young kids stay sleeping with her and don't like sleeping by themselves. ..so of course comes a night where me and her are drinking on the couch. I could feel her youngest eyeing me like he don't like me touching his mama.

The moment comes when she's trying to explain to her kids that they can't sleep tonight to me staying over. Kids start the waterworks she hustles them off to bed...apparently the youngest one had night terrors.

We in the middle of fucking...doggy and she got her face in the pillow screaming. ..the little kid comes out of his room stumbling around. Apparently he peed himself he saw me and asked Where's his mom and I didn't answer but I did reach back with my leg and closed the door in his face.

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

So I was fucking with this single mama for awhile. ...bitch was a freak but she never wanted to fuck at her place. She told me her two young kids stay sleeping with her and don't like sleeping by themselves. ..so of course comes a night where me and her are drinking on the couch. I could feel her youngest eyeing me like he don't like me touching his mama.

The moment comes when she's trying to explain to her kids that they can't sleep tonight to me staying over. Kids start the waterworks she hustles them off to bed...apparently the youngest one had night terrors.

We in the middle of fucking...doggy and she got her face in the pillow screaming. ..the little kid comes out of his room stumbling around. Apparently he peed himself he saw me and asked Where's his mom and I didn't answer but I did reach back with my leg and closed the door in his face.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Aye that's just as bad as Du closing the dresser drawer on the baby. Lol

 

[banginscrew901]

Mane with stories like those who the hell needs cable or Hulu

 

[Max.]

This thread would be even more goat if we had voice over n cartoon bout the situations like that show on mtv

 

[grYmes]

Pasty fat Fuck​

So When I first joined the world greatest Navy. I was stationed in Norfolk, VA. Back in those days you can drive the base easily. All you needed was a base sticker. I most cases you didnt even need that. So on Friday's I would stand at pier 12 by the phone booth waiting for the women to start driving by to pick up a sailor for a good time. (Shit sound like the hoe stroll right?) I didnt have a car and barely any money to speak of.

All you had to do was wave down these chicks and they would stop. Spit your game and you was taken care of for a weekend or longer. I have to admit. I have no game. I am just tall and handsome, so that got them to stop. After that it was a crap shoot. I struck out alot, But lets just say Fat White Women loved me. That was all I could get for damn near a year. I would have all types stop to holla but my lack of game relegated me to Fat White women. Eventually I gave in and spent plenty nights eating good and fucking pasty fat white bitches. Most of them would want to continue a relationship but I wanted more quality. Finally I thought I hit the jackpot. Fine black chick that was actually friends with a bustdown that I was cool with. Word of mouth fuck.

(I think I dropped the detailed story below in the thread ealier)

Long story short. This bitch was married, already preggo and fucking everything that moved. I wasnt used to that cause all the bitches I fucked with was on some desperate shit. My game wasnt equipped for that L!

Well I got a car and my game instantly got better. No mo Phone booth pimping (hoe stroll) for me. I was actually riding up on bitches. I didnt have to rely on fat white pussy for another two years. But that is a story for another time.

LMFAO, yo @"caddo man" when were you at Norfolk? I was stationed in Va Beach/Notfolk from 07-14 and I'm in New Orleans now.

 

[geechee slim]

All these L's I gotta give you one W. Look fast cuz they wont be up Monday.

back in college, they used to call me Laptop. (remember this because it's important to the story)

I had this one little thing named Tammy and all we did was fuck back in college. we had absolutely nothing in common, nothing to talk about, nowhere to go and hang Just bumpin uglies...

Here's the pics from my LAPTOP PIMP days.

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

Titties lacking but GOAT'd you. Good to see a W in your column. Lol

 

[Lurkristocrat]

All these L's I gotta give you one W. Look fast cuz they wont be up Monday.

back in college, they used to call me Laptop. (remember this because it's important to the story)

I had this one little thing named Tammy and all we did was fuck back in college. we had absolutely nothing in common, nothing to talk about, nowhere to go and hang Just bumpin uglies...

Here's the pics from my LAPTOP PIMP days.

looks like a rape scene tho brah and she ugly.....

So still no dub for you

 

[Lurkristocrat]

i can smell the disappointment in that room

 

[geechee slim]

*sigh*

 

[Mastery]

All these L's I gotta give you one W. Look fast cuz they wont be up Monday.

back in college, they used to call me Laptop. (remember this because it's important to the story)

I had this one little thing named Tammy and all we did was fuck back in college. we had absolutely nothing in common, nothing to talk about, nowhere to go and hang Just bumpin uglies...

Here's the pics from my LAPTOP PIMP days.

looks like a rape scene tho brah and she ugly.....

So still no dub for you

Lol @ a broads face you can't see being ugly. C'mon Lurk, cut my man some slack bruh haha

You might as well just say you don't like her chin/lip area since that's all you can see of her face lol

 

[Lurkristocrat]

*sigh*

ya niggas and that effeminate ass "sigh"