yeah i think i would of shot @Mastery because that nigga dont have no morals or code. i aint no jealous nigga and since i never got bitches so i dont skress over bitches but if it was like that bitch that i drove home and she went in and fucked that nigga......yeah you would of been dead. no diss just facts.
yeah i think i would of shot @Mastery because that nigga dont have no morals or code. i aint no jealous nigga and since i never got bitches so i dont skress over bitches but if it was like that bitch that i drove home and she went in and fucked that nigga......yeah you would of been dead. no diss just facts.
My wife don't know this, but one of my ulterior motives for dealing with her was to get my boondocks dvds back,
I knew most of her family before I met her, and I had let her sister hold the dvds like months ago and them bastards never brought them back...and they thought the shit was funny...season 1 & 2
So when I finally met my wife who was at the time just the little sister, I made it a mission to befriend her just so she could get in the room and get my shit back with out them assholes ever knowing what was up....they didn't even know be and her were cool yet...I hit her up on myspace through her sisters page...
I ain't gonna front like I ain't catch feelings after it was all said and done, but the initial motivation was an elaborate plan to get my dvds back while possibly getting some ass in the process
So I must have been round 17/18 at the time, had this yellowbone FREAK at my school, she new and one of my homies made a move first but he didn't get shit LOL. So after she deuces him I swoop in (like a true scumbag, think it was the same day they broke up) She danced too, so could get extra flexible in the sack. (Get to this later).
So we get to chatting, she walks home, so I offered her a ride one day, I drop her off and I ask to come in for some errr... "Coffee"... I get the ok.
So at this moment I'm buzzing like a mofo, I stroll on in, and guess who's there? Her pops, the nigga just death stares me, recognises my face from work. Anyway we keep it moving to her room, get to freaking but she comes out she a V. So I can't smash (take my L)
*Insert Jordan crying meme here*
So on my depressing ride home she hits me up and is all apologetic etc, says she gonna make it up to me, she never had a nigga this sweet with the words, she in love while I got that shaq scumbag smile on my face.
So that weekend I'm at work and her pops approaches me with one of his friends, he reckons "take care of my daughter, don't try no pimp shit or else I'll have to handle you myself"
(My second L)
So at this point I'm shook, nigga had me like this....
Man sounds like its gonna be a good story but if yall don't get this to be continued shit the fuck outta here. Got me out here like when the walking dead went on their midseason finale break. Lol
So, Thanksgiving's passed and two birthdays and I still have 1.5 roommates. These niggas is loud when they fuckin at night. I have one bathroom, so let's just say I knew when she was on her period. BEST SLEEP I EVER HAD that week. I was finally gaining some of my inner soul back. I told him to move his bed to the other side of the room where his TV is. And if you're gonna make love, turn your tv ALL THE WAY UP. So one day, his room is almost empty. He removed his TV and audio equipment. His room is hollow with an echo now. All he has to do is move his bed to the other side ofthe room. He says "I'll do it tomorrow."
Before I go to bed, I like to load a youtube interview and play audio till I fall asleep. So as soon as one of my shows went off, I woke up to Ol girl making those noises.
He got no rhythm. That "phwap" noise when you hittin it from the back should be a concistant TAP TAP TAP. But nah, this nigga like TAP... TAP TAP.... T-TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP.... TAP TAP.
Sound like he was sending a booty morse code.
And since the room is hollow now, I hear every thing. I can feel every footstep. I can hear them niggas breathe. Niggas is fucking like they invented the remix.
And she be making noises that don't match her face. And I be wondering if they're fucking to the music I'm playing in my room. They've completely ruined Cassey's "Me and You."
So I yell "TURN UP!" That's code for turn up your tv. This nigga actually says to me through his wall, "I don't have anything to turn up." I awkwardly say, "You know, you right." He says "Can you help us out?"
Let that sink in.....
I say "OK, Ash and Pikachu." If I'm lyin, I'm flyin. I actually got up and turned the audio up for them. The nigga said "thanks" through the wall.
I tried to sleep but couldn't. I still don't know if the shit was funny, or did it backfire on me? Shit felt like my team lost the game. Now I'm all fucked up. I can't be in my room unless I play music or some dumb TEDx Talk just so I don't hear them. I was eating some fruit loops. I hear both of them niggas exhale ecstasy loudly. Dawg, I choked on the fruit loops. Milk came out of my nose and felt like fire. My eyes watering cuz there's unchewed cereal crumbs between my tongue and throat. Niggas ruined my sleep and breakfast. Am I being scumbagged?
Meanwhile, back at Daddy's house....
Me and pops is like Clipse. Benz Convoy with a wagon on the side. The topic of my roommate came up. I told him most of what's been happening. Including the fucking. I say "She might be using him." Without missing a beat he says,
"Of course..... (*eats pork rhines and changes through TV stations*)
Well son, that girl might got a trick up her sleeve. Especially if that's his first gal?
Sheeeeeeeeed
Oh hell no, son. That's puddy in her hands right they nah.
Sheeeeeeed, she probably got kicked out her old boyfriend house... Then stepped to the nearest nice guy she could find. Now you gotta worry bout this knucklehead in your neighborhood.
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeed
He know where you live, make no doubt about it. Yeah, she caught your cousin and she'll fuck um dry. At least we ain't gotta question about yo cousin no more. I used to wonder about him. But don't let that trick you son, cuz even them moist boys won't turn down no woman. Especially if it's a sure thing?
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeed. Think these hoes won't lift they legs for a roof over they head. You say they washed the dishes? But don't ruin this for your cousin. Let her straighten-him-out knawm sayin? I ain't gone say nothing. That's you're third roommate."
"Of course..... (*eats pork rhines and changes through TV stations*)
Well son, that girl might got a trick up her sleeve. Especially if that's his first gal?
Sheeeeeeeeed
Oh hell no, son. That's puddy in her hands right they nah.
Sheeeeeeed, she probably got kicked out her old boyfriend house... Then stepped to the nearest nice guy she could find. Now you gotta worry bout this knucklehead in your neighborhood.
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeed
He know where you live, make no doubt about it. Yeah, she caught your cousin and she'll fuck um dry. At least we ain't gotta question about yo cousin no more. I used to wonder about him. But don't let that trick you son, cuz even them moist boys won't turn down no woman. Especially if it's a sure thing?
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeed. Think these hoes won't lift they legs for a roof over they head. You say they washed the dishes? But don't ruin this for your cousin. Let her straighten-him-out knawm sayin? I ain't gone say nothing. That's you're third roommate."
That whole convo wit his dad should be chaper/verse in the Man Law Bible...
And thus sayeth Geechee's father, Chapter 18, verses 9-17
9. Well son, that girl might got thy trick up thy sleeveth. Especially if that's thou first gal?
10. Sheeeeeeeeed
11. Oh hell nay, son. That's puddy in her hands right they nah.
12. Sheeeeeeed, she probably got kicked outeth ye old boyfriend dwelling... Then stepped to the nearest nice guy ye could find. Now ye gotta worry bout thou knuckleheadeth in thy neighborhood.
13. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeed
14. He know where you live, make no doubt about it. Yeah, she caught your cousin and she'll fornicate um dry. At least yay ain't gotta question about ye cousin no more. 15. Ye used to wonder about him. But don't let that trick you son, cuz even them moist boys won't turn down no woman. Especially if thy is a sure thing?
16. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeed. 17. Thou thinketh these hoes won't lift thy legs for a roof over thou head. You say ye washed the dishes? But don't ruin this for thy cousin. Let her straighten-him-out knawm sayeth? I ain't gone say nay. That's ye third roommate.
Let thy words nurture thy minds, for thy words are nutritious. Let all my Scumbag brethren say...
