Pros / Cons About Marriage

[2stepz_ahead]

We talk about drugg money, smoking money,

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SIMPING ECONOMY?

If we reduce/stop simping how will it affect the economy?

How bizzare we got all sorts of surveys but never this one?

valentines day...an engagement rings...

I'm thinking this all a set up

 

[blakfyahking]

Again I never said you can predict I said you should at the very least have an idea. I said that outright so idk why you keep repeating something I never said. And yeah there are plenty stupid people out there getting married for dumb reasons or thinking marriage will change or curb certain behaviors. Any man whose been married knows that as soon as older folks find out your getting married you get hit with all sorts of stories about what to do and what not to do and I was amazed at how many people got divorced over shit like "Well they wanted kids and I didn't" or other shit you think would be discussed between 2 people talking about making a life long committment to each other. Its funny you say I live in a bubble because I'm actually pessimistic as fuck and tend to expect the worst from people and most situations. Again I don't think shit is simple but I also think people do at times make things harder for themselves by not digging enough or putting their hope into shit they shouldn't.

@ the bolded what is the difference between "predicting" or "having an idea" in the context of what we talmbout in this thread?

what is the purpose of even worrying about forecasting some shit like that when there is no way for u to really know what a person's reaction could be until the actual event happens?

and using ur example about the older folks and their advice, once again u oversimplying it

did both parties get married at the beginning with one wanting kids and the other one didn't? is it possible that both sides didn't want kids at 1st and then maybe something changed later on?

yeah I agree that there are some folks who don't do their due diligence before getting married

but that situation is rare.......it is not the common cause like u making it sound like

 

[Madame_CJSkywalker]

an why we bringing up slave time and the 40s shit?

are chicks really using someone else's relationship to power they motives?

cuz papop cheated on nanna....niggas ainy shit.

did chicks ever think the men were beat down so much then come home to fukkery....drinking and/or a patient freaky non needy side chick was there escape from reality.

Lmaooooo nah all that shit matters. But ppl will cite how divorce rates of today are much higher than in those times...will romanticize about how much worse it was back then but they still stayed together. But if a lot of those couples from back then had the options we have now, niggas woulda been getting divorced left and right.

Yes your grandma is a dusty hoe as well and if the divorce laws were similar in the 50s as they became in the 70s a lot of them would've gotten divorced

In the 70s "no fault" divorce kicked in.

Bitches: you mean i don't need a valid reason to request a divorce and file for alimony. That's all me.

Divorce skyrocketed. Welfare reform meant that Bitches were encouraged to have kids with no man around. They became capitalists with their pussy but socialists with the consequences.

Bitches never been shit but you have to give them the environment to expose themselves.

Divorce laws,were the proverbial straw that broke the black families back

expound

otherwise the last 60 or so years blk women have tended to be better educated and higher wage earners than our men

so alimony, and to a lesser extent child support, wasn't factoring largely into our decision making

and no fault divorces gave ppl, especially blk women, trapped in unhappy and abusive marriages the opportunity to leave. so I argue it saved many of blk ppl a lot of strife and heart ache. even some lives. in divorce where fault must be proven, men and women would have to provide solid evidence to a judge that their spouse was abusing them or cheating on them. this would be especially difficult for abuse victims who did not have access to legal help or the finances to fight for a divorce

in states with new, no-fault divorce laws, numbers show domestic abuse murders fell by 10 percent. In addition, female suicide rates dropped by 20 percent
http://www.mollybkenny.com/news/study--no-fault-divorce-laws-prevent-crime---save-lives-20130607.cfm

and I'd also argue the blk family was broken way before no fault divorces and the like

not to say that some women don't/didn't use the court system to their advantage, but not to the extent you all are arguing ...especially blk women

and unlike our non blk counterparts blk women were less inclined to be defined by "marriage" because their was less certainty and stability in our relationships... our men more likely to be killed, murdered, imprisoned, tempted by other women, etc at any moment

welfare reform did decrease the incentives to get married by giving women greater financial independence, but there is no strong evidence to support the claim welfare promotes out of wedlock childbirth and divorce

states with higher than average AFDC benefits tend to have lower than average non-marital birthrates

and there is no evidence welfare reform had any impact on the long term decline in marriage

that said, i do believe today that we can now limit alimony ...

Now more men are locked up or face charges cuz the white man put a price on what beiing a father is.... women know they can leave whenever they aren't "happy get theur work check they ex check and they new nigga check...vs staying trying to work the relationship out... I can go deeper but I'm I'm driving

Ailmony is typically awarded to the highest earner, breadwinner

Did you read my post? Lol

And yes no fault divorces make it so anyone including women can leave an unhappy or abusive marriage without having to have a drawn out expensive battle in court that a low income person and or stay at home wife/mom could not afford

And why is that such a bad thing

We should make it harder for these ppl to escape a bad situation because a few women are taking advantage of the system

Smh

There you go again by using the ' women are the only victims,women are weak and rarely fuck up and abuse in marriage' angle.

Whereas we male poster always try to find A COMMON GROUND, you come UNILATERAL.

You cannot be taken seriously as long as you keep on EMASCULATING THE TOPIC.

Abuse in marriage has no gender

Lying in marriage has no exclusive gender

Violence, verbal and physical, has no exclusive gender

Cheating, materialism in marriage has no gender.

The percentage war of which gender fucks up the most wont bring a solution to the main problem : PEOPLE ARE LONLIER AND SADDER evryday. People are overstressed by trust issues.

NOBODY WINS !!!

Its a law problem. Its an education problem. Its a social problem.

Lol

Bruh....

How????

Reread my posts

I clearly stated that no fault divorce laws made it possible ANYONE "including women" could leave an abusive marriage"...no fault especially helps low income PEOPLE who cannot afford a long, drawn out court battle

I emphasised women because back in the day it was harder for women to find decent work making the choice to walk away from her husband and or a two income household extremely difficult

My overall point being this idea that divorce laws including no fault played a key role in destroying the blk family is crazy

Can these laws be taken advantage of? Sure. When i was on the market, i had a higher earning potential more than 50-60% of potential suitors so i do understand

And yes there are men who are taking advantage as well

But what is a better solution that serves the greater good

I also stated that child support laws need to be reformed. Also have said there should be a cap on alimony

U are the one who is being antagonistic and trying to make me into the enemy based on little to no substance

And that is part of the reason why i rarely respond to you

Continue on though lol

My intent is to make you using your posting time and energy ON SOLUTIONS, IDEAS.

WE NEED FEMININE OUTPUT, NOT REMINDERS OF THINGS WE ALL KNOW.

We are all in the same boat madame.

i'll use my posting time and energy how i please sir...same as you

not to mention i was having a discussion with another poster. i obviously disagree with his sentiment divorce laws especially no fault laws played a key role in the break down of the blk family...and he has provided no substantive argument to back up that claim... that said, it is highly unlikely i will be able to agree on a solution with anyone who disagrees

furthermore if his or anyone's solution to divorce or the declining marriage rate is to make it harder to get a divorce, which requires even more government interference, i can't get with that

otherwise, putting a cap on alimony or reforming cs laws aren't ideas?

but rather than actually expand on these ideas, again you rather be antagonistic ...it's cool though lol

 

[blackrain]

Again I never said you can predict I said you should at the very least have an idea. I said that outright so idk why you keep repeating something I never said. And yeah there are plenty stupid people out there getting married for dumb reasons or thinking marriage will change or curb certain behaviors. Any man whose been married knows that as soon as older folks find out your getting married you get hit with all sorts of stories about what to do and what not to do and I was amazed at how many people got divorced over shit like "Well they wanted kids and I didn't" or other shit you think would be discussed between 2 people talking about making a life long committment to each other. Its funny you say I live in a bubble because I'm actually pessimistic as fuck and tend to expect the worst from people and most situations. Again I don't think shit is simple but I also think people do at times make things harder for themselves by not digging enough or putting their hope into shit they shouldn't.

@ the bolded what is the difference between "predicting" or "having an idea" in the context of what we talmbout in this thread?

what is the purpose of even worrying about forecasting some shit like that when there is no way for u to really know what a person's reaction could be until the actual event happens?

and using ur example about the older folks and their advice, once again u oversimplying it

did both parties get married at the beginning with one wanting kids and the other one didn't? is it possible that both sides didn't want kids at 1st and then maybe something changed later on?

yeah I agree that there are some folks who don't do their due diligence before getting married

but that situation is rare.......it is not the common cause like u making it sound like

And I'm saying these scenarios where a person just decides on a whim to end a marriage and get a divorce for no reason at all like niggas swear happens all the time is rare.

 

[#1hiphopjunki3]

This is a very entertaining thread.

A lot of the guys posting sound like most of my coworkers and friends. One of the reasons I'm not married to this day is due to the fact of me seeing (and partaking in) too many scumbag's doing dirt behind their significant others backs and listening to horror stories like what I'm reading here.

 

[Kat]

This thread is so sad.

But even I am skeptical of marriage. Even after "acheiving" marriage, that nagging feeling that it may not work or that you just can't do it is in the back of your mind. To the point that you have a backup plan just in case. And not a backup plan as in a another man, but a job and what you would do if he left you. Is that normal?

Relevant song..I listen to it on the bad days.

 

[7figz]

This thread is so sad.

But even I am skeptical of marriage. Even after "acheiving" marriage, that nagging feeling that it may not work or that you just can't do it is in the back of your mind. To the point that you have a backup plan just in case. And not a backup plan as in a another man, but a job and what you would do if he left you. Is that normal?

Relevant song..I listen to it on the bad days.

When you say 'a job if he left you', do you mean the kind of marriage where you won't be working at all ?

Why not just work during the marriage instead of depending on someone else to support you ?

 

[Kat]

I do work and I'd never not work for the same reason I'd never have multiple children..he could be gone tomorrow. Always live as though you could be single at any time.

It's sad to think that way but it's not unrealistic.

 

[semi-auto-mato]

I been married a long time so I got a whole lotta pros and a lotta cons. My pros and cons will differ from urs.

Pro

I honestly feel like she is my missing rib

Con

When we argue she go on for so long I just give up and say fuck it u right

 

[semi-auto-mato]

CON:

- no more pussy variety

- freedom to do things you want to decreases: it's a group decision now

- Spontaneity decreases...specially if kids are involved: everything has to be planned carefully

PRO:

- married men live longer and are healthier, both mentally and physically than single men...by a huge factor:

@ the bolded.

Not true. I'm divorced. Any married woman will let her husband keep a mistress. You do things with your mistress that you wouldn't do with your wife.

Having said that, if you marry the wrong woman it won't work. It just won't.

As far as getting divorced and her getting half, if she was cooking your meals, doing your laundry and taking care of the kids she deserves half.

U a wild nigga lol. It's how u say stuff. A lot of woman feel all men cheat but that doesn't mean they will knowingly let u cheat. It's rules to the game. I am in no way suggesting one should cheat but....

#1. Ur wife has to be completely happy and want for nothing

#2. No one can ever know. U cannot embarrass ur spouse by being seen with another chick

#3. No babies and no stds. Leave no traces of anything

#4. U don't kiss a side chick

#5. A mistress shouldn't know where u live or any info about ur family.

#6. Keep her in check

It's really too much work to cheat...smh

I agree with the half part though.

 

[LordZuko]

I been married a long time so I got a whole lotta pros and a lotta cons. My pros and cons will differ from urs.

Pro

I honestly feel like she is my missing rib

Con

When we argue she go on for so long I just give up and say fuck it u right

You sound like a broken man.

I've had bitches hit me with "you'd rather be right than be with me"

I'm like duh bitch. Fuck i look like dumbing myself down to stroke your ego. Read a book bitch.

 

[semi-auto-mato]

I been married a long time so I got a whole lotta pros and a lotta cons. My pros and cons will differ from urs.

Pro

I honestly feel like she is my missing rib

Con

When we argue she go on for so long I just give up and say fuck it u right

You sound like a broken man.

I've had bitches hit me with "you'd rather be right than be with me"

I'm like duh bitch. Fuck i look like dumbing myself down to stroke your ego. Read a book bitch.

Broken? Where u get that from?

If she is right I'll give her that.

 

[ineedpussy]

I feel some of yall act like marriage is the destination.

My whole thing is I have a destination im going too, and if I meet someone who is going to the same destination and makes the road to get there easier, we can get married.

We break up along the way? She took half? Cool. Minor set back. I been on my road to the destination before she joined, and ill continue after she left.

so youre saying if youre driving and you pick her up on the way because yall going to the same destination but he take 2 tires you cool cause you was still going that way? how the fuck you gone get there with two tires? you hitch hiking my dude?

But you missing the IF. There is a chance that she takes the tires and im hitching hiking. But there is also a chance that she takes the wheel while im sleeping in the passanger and I get there quicker.

Meaning, i met her and trust her enough to marry her cause I weighed the risk and feel like the chances of her getting me there quicker are higher than her taking two wheels.

In your scenario your making it seem like she is definetly taking the two tires. If I know for a fact she about to take half why the fuck would I marry her?

All im saying is, if I met her, and trusted her, ill go all in. Im a man who stands behind my decision, so if my decision is wrong, ima just say fuck it. Its my fault, who ima blame?

Now with that said, im 28, never married, and dont have a prospect that i even consider marrying, but if I meet one and I feel she adds to my life and I trust her, ill marry the bitch. Not about to base my decision cause some other peoples marriage didnt work.

all i read is that bitch gone kill you once you go to sleep. im good my dude. no need to quote me. i hope you have gotten right with god.......amen.........no do.

and she dont have to definitely take the tires but once she see you "sleep" and aint your p's and q's shes on your ass like white on rice. you good my g. do you. ill see you like one year after you get married hollerin yeah she took everything but im good cause im gonna get it back, while sleep under an underpass.

 

[LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY]

I been married a long time so I got a whole lotta pros and a lotta cons. My pros and cons will differ from urs.

Pro

I honestly feel like she is my missing rib

Con

When we argue she go on for so long I just give up and say fuck it u right

You sound like a broken man.

I've had bitches hit me with "you'd rather be right than be with me"

I'm like duh bitch. Fuck i look like dumbing myself down to stroke your ego. Read a book bitch.

And thats the TENDENCY behavior wise. All around the western world this is a common way of talking and

I been married a long time so I got a whole lotta pros and a lotta cons. My pros and cons will differ from urs.

Pro

I honestly feel like she is my missing rib

Con

When we argue she go on for so long I just give up and say fuck it u right

Arguing. Even if that woman is a ten, communication, the base of a sane and healthy , longterm relatiinship, will be an ORDEAL.

Damn some men go to prostitutes just to have A CALM DEBATE/DISCUSSION. Yes they pay to calmly discuss.

Marrying prince and princesses will make one sad. Cause princes and princesses have such an ego that it take mistresses/ harems to satisfy it.

 

[LordZuko]

You can marry a princess or a queen but you gotta remind that hoe that you're the king, and the queen is nothing but the king's bitch.

 

[LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY]

You can marry a princess or a queen but you gotta remind that hoe that you're the king, and the queen is nothing but the king's bitch.

Two dominating egos dont work together. We see that in sports.

And we are currently living in an egomaniac/ me, myself and i /"selfie society, there is no surprise marriage fail

 

[2stepz_ahead]

You can marry a princess or a queen but you gotta remind that hoe that you're the king, and the queen is nothing but the king's bitch.

can you go smoke some weed.

 

[Kat]

You can marry a princess or a queen but you gotta remind that hoe that you're the king, and the queen is nothing but the king's bitch.

You got some issues.

 

[AggieLean.]

Now zuku im your biggest fan i quote u on hoes in my life dont be hater now i kno u on the henny

Laughed at this all night and this morning. Bruh you a fool

 

[LordZuko]

You can marry a princess or a queen but you gotta remind that hoe that you're the king, and the queen is nothing but the king's bitch.

That last half of my post is word to the GOAT Patrice O'Neal