Paternity leave...Let's talk about it.

[blackgod813]

We come from slavery now we need time off?? Naw fuck that shit

 

[blackrain]

So my question is:

Does this contribute to the constant feminization of our society? Is it just a paid vacation?

WTF? Feminization?

I think the problem is that more men don't get longer paid leave time in general.

No feminization involved in wanting to spend time with your child at any moment in their life.

Niggas call the dumbest shit feminine. Yeah...wanting to actually raise your child and be there is feminine lol

So you need time off work to raise your child now???

You reachin (as usual) my nigga

A newborn...yeah that's a time consuming thing you kind of need to devote your attention to.

Before I go in @blackrain how long do you consider the baby a 'newborn'?

First few months..and there's nothing to go in on about. You out here trying to shame niggas for wanting to be with their kids when they're first born. Thats some clown shit

All Im askin is why do you need time off work to do this...

Stop tryna make it seem like that 'time off' is a necessary thing.

End of the day niggas can and will do what the fck they want

I just asked a question

Do you have any kids? Serious question. Because if you don't then you have no idea how much time and energy goes into caring for a newborn. They literally can't do anything for themselves and need someone to do everything for them. And all of that shouldn't fall on the mother. Again with the hormone changes, mental and emotional changes, and physical changes putting all that on one person to do is just foul as hell.

 

[yellowtapesport]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

 

[blackrain]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

 

[banginscrew901]

So my question is:

Does this contribute to the constant feminization of our society? Is it just a paid vacation?

WTF? Feminization?

I think the problem is that more men don't get longer paid leave time in general.

No feminization involved in wanting to spend time with your child at any moment in their life.

Niggas call the dumbest shit feminine. Yeah...wanting to actually raise your child and be there is feminine lol

So you need time off work to raise your child now???

You reachin (as usual) my nigga

A newborn...yeah that's a time consuming thing you kind of need to devote your attention to.

Before I go in @blackrain how long do you consider the baby a 'newborn'?

First few months..and there's nothing to go in on about. You out here trying to shame niggas for wanting to be with their kids when they're first born. Thats some clown shit

All Im askin is why do you need time off work to do this...

Stop tryna make it seem like that 'time off' is a necessary thing.

End of the day niggas can and will do what the fck they want

I just asked a question

Because newborns typically suck all the energy out of you. It's great to be able to wake up 3 times at night to feed your newborn - and at least one of those times they refuse to go right back to sleep after eating so you spend an hour on the couch trying to burp the little fucker while watching sportscenter - without having to worry about getting up at 6 am and spending 8 hours at a job where you need to actually pay attention.

Because changing diapers and feeding and washing and making bottles and dealing with family and shit stopping by and still having to make sure ya house is clean and food is cooked and all that other shit shouldn't fall own just mom.

I could go on. But the simple answer is that, men get time off work for a new baby the same reason that women do: Because having a kid - if you're doing it right - is a huge change for both parents and adjusting to those changes while having to also worry about going to work is a kick in the nuts.

Well said. Salute

 

[yellowtapesport]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

Primary is a singular term...which mean only ONE can be primary, the other has to be secondary.

So you choose...

 

[Madame_CJSkywalker]

So my question is:

Does this contribute to the constant feminization of our society? Is it just a paid vacation?

WTF? Feminization?

I think the problem is that more men don't get longer paid leave time in general.

No feminization involved in wanting to spend time with your child at any moment in their life.

Niggas call the dumbest shit feminine. Yeah...wanting to actually raise your child and be there is feminine lol

So you need time off work to raise your child now???

You reachin (as usual) my nigga

HAWHAT ? ? ! !

he's not alone

yet i'm so wrong for pointing out the toxic ideas around masculinity, femininity, and sex

There’s toxicity in blurred ideas of masculinity and femininity and sex towards groups of people who on average show similar behavior....

The fact that more than half of men show more masculinity and more than half of women show more femininity naturally....shows us that these roles are important and blurring the lines would also have a negative effect...do any bad ideas come to your mind when thinking of these ideas??

not saying men and women aren't different...but even when differences are found, no one can conclude that they are all immutable because of environmental influences

and the general consensus among medical researchers is that differences between the sexes are greatly exaggerated

for me it's not about blurring the lines per se...its about pushing back against ideas like the idea stay at home fathers/husbands are weak or less than...or paternity leave is not necessary

is that really a bad thing bruh?

Honestly...the guy you describe is not the guy you would want....as your father, husband, son or brother....

yea i wouldn't want to date this man....but unfortunately we all have to share the earth with ppl who think like this...some of whom have power and influence....some of whom could make it harder for new fathers to take time off work

 

[banginscrew901]

I see it like this some guys are more nurturing and put the macho b.s. to the side when it comes to your child some not. You can only hope that the child will soften his heart and he would want to show that more mature side and do all the late night work.

 

[Shuffington]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your choice - all good

but. IMO..... a Big red flag to the bolded.

Im not sure why you limit your primary responsibility to such a rigid position.

 

[Colin$mackabi$h]

Hell nah I aint changing diapers I dont care what she said I pulled out all on her ass

 

[blackrain]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

Primary is a singular term...which mean only ONE can be primary, the other has to be secondary.

So you choose...

You're attempting to manipulate the definition and context behind what you're saying to fit your ridiculous pov. As a parent you can place emphasis on both being a provider and nurturing your child. As a parent it's your responsibility to do both and to neglect one under some false pretense of manhood just makes you look stupid as fuck. Is providing important? Of course. It costs money to raise a human being. Does that mean you shouldn't also make it a primary objective to nurture your child and give them a sense of security any child should have? Yes.

 

[Young_Chitlin]

Niggas at home sleepin late and playin Xbox like

'but I bonded wit my child tho'

It was watching soccer on YouTube for me and bebito but yeah... tranquilo

 

[yellowtapesport]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

Primary is a singular term...which mean only ONE can be primary, the other has to be secondary.

So you choose...

You're attempting to manipulate the definition and context behind what you're saying to fit your ridiculous pov. As a parent you can place emphasis on both being a provider and nurturing your child. As a parent it's your responsibility to do both and to neglect one under some false pretense of manhood just makes you look stupid as fuck. Is providing important? Of course. It costs money to raise a human being. Does that mean you shouldn't also make it a primary objective to nurture your child and give them a sense of security any child should have? Yes.

But how are you doing this if you chose to go back to work? If that's the case, why not take 6 months to where you can actually have an argument that you made a lasting impact on your child during the 'paternity' period...

My point has been the same..I dont have to manipulate shit. My primary goal as a man is to provide. Has been that way since man existed. Seems like you're trying to change the narrative which is why I suggested that this shit is contributing to the feminization of our society...

@Shuffington don't know how you cant see it with all these niggas in here sounding like single mothers lmao

 

[mryounggun]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

I can only speak for myself and I didn't mention anything about making a life-shaping difference. Like I said in my post, my main reason for taking time off was to help the transition from not having a small mammal that literally depends on you for every single thing...to having a small mammal that depends on you for every single thing. As far as bonding, some of my best memories as a father are from 3am, me and my kid on the couch, a bottle in his mouth and NBA highlights on the TV.

Also...my shit was paid. Can't speak for anyone else. Matter fact, I actually coulda took WAY more paid time off than I did.

 

[yellowtapesport]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

I can only speak for myself and I didn't mention anything about making a life-shaping difference. Like I said in my post, my main reason for taking time off was to help the transition from not having a small mammal that literally depends on you for every single thing...to having a small mammal that depends on you for every single thing. As far as bonding, some of my best memories as a father are from 3am, me and my kid on the couch, a bottle in his mouth and NBA highlights on the TV.

Also...my shit was paid. Can't speak for anyone else. Matter fact, I actually coulda took WAY more paid time off than I did.

And I get that...please dont make it seem like I dont. My job said I have 51 days of PAID leave, but can take up to 12weeks.

What I'm saying is if we aint talking bout UNPAID time away from work, then you not doin this for the baby (even tho u prob never admit it). All that shit you just said you do I DO AND STILL GO TO WORK..not saying I'm better than anyone else just proves my point. Aint no difference (with the baby, mentally/developmentally) from day 10 to day 11, or day 14 to day 15...

The only difference is niggas aint gettin paid...or they bored out they fuckin mind

So miss me with all that 'independent woman' shit

 

[blackrain]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

Primary is a singular term...which mean only ONE can be primary, the other has to be secondary.

So you choose...

You're attempting to manipulate the definition and context behind what you're saying to fit your ridiculous pov. As a parent you can place emphasis on both being a provider and nurturing your child. As a parent it's your responsibility to do both and to neglect one under some false pretense of manhood just makes you look stupid as fuck. Is providing important? Of course. It costs money to raise a human being. Does that mean you shouldn't also make it a primary objective to nurture your child and give them a sense of security any child should have? Yes.

But how are you doing this if you chose to go back to work? If that's the case, why not take 6 months to where you can actually have an argument that you made a lasting impact on your child during the 'paternity' period...

My point has been the same..I dont have to manipulate shit. My primary goal as a man is to provide. Has been that way since man existed. Seems like you're trying to change the narrative which is why I suggested that this shit is contributing to the feminization of our society...

@Shuffington don't know how you cant see it with all these niggas in here sounding like single mothers lmao

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

Primary is a singular term...which mean only ONE can be primary, the other has to be secondary.

So you choose...

You're attempting to manipulate the definition and context behind what you're saying to fit your ridiculous pov. As a parent you can place emphasis on both being a provider and nurturing your child. As a parent it's your responsibility to do both and to neglect one under some false pretense of manhood just makes you look stupid as fuck. Is providing important? Of course. It costs money to raise a human being. Does that mean you shouldn't also make it a primary objective to nurture your child and give them a sense of security any child should have? Yes.

But how are you doing this if you chose to go back to work? If that's the case, why not take 6 months to where you can actually have an argument that you made a lasting impact on your child during the 'paternity' period...

My point has been the same..I dont have to manipulate shit. My primary goal as a man is to provide. Has been that way since man existed. Seems like you're trying to change the narrative which is why I suggested that this shit is contributing to the feminization of our society...

@Shuffington don't know how you cant see it with all these niggas in here sounding like single mothers lmao

How am I doing what? Doing both providing and nurturing? Unless you think I was coming home from work on some "Hey he's all yours" shit to my wife and not even attempting to do anything then you way off. And basing your argument around it being feminine to be there for a new born that literally can't do shit w/o somebody doing it for them is even dumber. You've yet to say what's so feminine about raising your child and making your goal more than just to provide financially.

And to contradict your point you make a joke about single mothers when there's actual evidence that kids raised with the influence and nurturing from only 1 parent aren't as well off majority of the time as those with 2...and niggas talk all day long about how women need to be better at "picking men that will actually be there for their child"...yet you you in here saying it's feminine to do so.

 

[yellowtapesport]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

Primary is a singular term...which mean only ONE can be primary, the other has to be secondary.

So you choose...

You're attempting to manipulate the definition and context behind what you're saying to fit your ridiculous pov. As a parent you can place emphasis on both being a provider and nurturing your child. As a parent it's your responsibility to do both and to neglect one under some false pretense of manhood just makes you look stupid as fuck. Is providing important? Of course. It costs money to raise a human being. Does that mean you shouldn't also make it a primary objective to nurture your child and give them a sense of security any child should have? Yes.

But how are you doing this if you chose to go back to work? If that's the case, why not take 6 months to where you can actually have an argument that you made a lasting impact on your child during the 'paternity' period...

My point has been the same..I dont have to manipulate shit. My primary goal as a man is to provide. Has been that way since man existed. Seems like you're trying to change the narrative which is why I suggested that this shit is contributing to the feminization of our society...

@Shuffington don't know how you cant see it with all these niggas in here sounding like single mothers lmao

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

Primary is a singular term...which mean only ONE can be primary, the other has to be secondary.

So you choose...

You're attempting to manipulate the definition and context behind what you're saying to fit your ridiculous pov. As a parent you can place emphasis on both being a provider and nurturing your child. As a parent it's your responsibility to do both and to neglect one under some false pretense of manhood just makes you look stupid as fuck. Is providing important? Of course. It costs money to raise a human being. Does that mean you shouldn't also make it a primary objective to nurture your child and give them a sense of security any child should have? Yes.

But how are you doing this if you chose to go back to work? If that's the case, why not take 6 months to where you can actually have an argument that you made a lasting impact on your child during the 'paternity' period...

My point has been the same..I dont have to manipulate shit. My primary goal as a man is to provide. Has been that way since man existed. Seems like you're trying to change the narrative which is why I suggested that this shit is contributing to the feminization of our society...

@Shuffington don't know how you cant see it with all these niggas in here sounding like single mothers lmao

How am I doing what? Doing both providing and nurturing? Unless you think I was coming home from work on some "Hey he's all yours" shit to my wife and not even attempting to do anything then you way off. And basing your argument around it being feminine to be there for a new born that literally can't do shit w/o somebody doing it for them is even dumber. You've yet to say what's so feminine about raising your child and making your goal more than just to provide financially.

And to contradict your point you make a joke about single mothers when there's actual evidence that kids raised with the influence and nurturing from only 1 parent aren't as well off majority of the time as those with 2...and niggas talk all day long about how women need to be better at "picking men that will actually be there for their child"...yet you you in here saying it's feminine to do so.

If you are at work...its to PROVIDE. Period. What you do when you come home is all fine and dandy and only further proves my point that there was no real NEED for a 'paternity leave.'

And you seem like the type thats never had a BABY MOMMA (congrats on that, btw) so I wouldn't expect you to get my single mother reference...

 

[blackrain]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

Primary is a singular term...which mean only ONE can be primary, the other has to be secondary.

So you choose...

You're attempting to manipulate the definition and context behind what you're saying to fit your ridiculous pov. As a parent you can place emphasis on both being a provider and nurturing your child. As a parent it's your responsibility to do both and to neglect one under some false pretense of manhood just makes you look stupid as fuck. Is providing important? Of course. It costs money to raise a human being. Does that mean you shouldn't also make it a primary objective to nurture your child and give them a sense of security any child should have? Yes.

But how are you doing this if you chose to go back to work? If that's the case, why not take 6 months to where you can actually have an argument that you made a lasting impact on your child during the 'paternity' period...

My point has been the same..I dont have to manipulate shit. My primary goal as a man is to provide. Has been that way since man existed. Seems like you're trying to change the narrative which is why I suggested that this shit is contributing to the feminization of our society...

@Shuffington don't know how you cant see it with all these niggas in here sounding like single mothers lmao

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

Primary is a singular term...which mean only ONE can be primary, the other has to be secondary.

So you choose...

You're attempting to manipulate the definition and context behind what you're saying to fit your ridiculous pov. As a parent you can place emphasis on both being a provider and nurturing your child. As a parent it's your responsibility to do both and to neglect one under some false pretense of manhood just makes you look stupid as fuck. Is providing important? Of course. It costs money to raise a human being. Does that mean you shouldn't also make it a primary objective to nurture your child and give them a sense of security any child should have? Yes.

But how are you doing this if you chose to go back to work? If that's the case, why not take 6 months to where you can actually have an argument that you made a lasting impact on your child during the 'paternity' period...

My point has been the same..I dont have to manipulate shit. My primary goal as a man is to provide. Has been that way since man existed. Seems like you're trying to change the narrative which is why I suggested that this shit is contributing to the feminization of our society...

@Shuffington don't know how you cant see it with all these niggas in here sounding like single mothers lmao

How am I doing what? Doing both providing and nurturing? Unless you think I was coming home from work on some "Hey he's all yours" shit to my wife and not even attempting to do anything then you way off. And basing your argument around it being feminine to be there for a new born that literally can't do shit w/o somebody doing it for them is even dumber. You've yet to say what's so feminine about raising your child and making your goal more than just to provide financially.

And to contradict your point you make a joke about single mothers when there's actual evidence that kids raised with the influence and nurturing from only 1 parent aren't as well off majority of the time as those with 2...and niggas talk all day long about how women need to be better at "picking men that will actually be there for their child"...yet you you in here saying it's feminine to do so.

If you are at work...its to PROVIDE. Period. What you do when you come home is all fine and dandy and only further proves my point that there was no real NEED for a 'paternity leave.'

And you seem like the type thats never had a BABY MOMMA (congrats on that, btw) so I wouldn't expect you to get my single mother reference...

No i've never had a baby mother. My son is both my wife and our first child. I made sure of that...and yes there still is a need for paternity leave. Again the mother does and will need help. You seem to be completely ignoring the actual changes that goes on in a woman's body from being pregnant then actually having said baby...and if you think that doesn't require some help then idk who lied to you. There's a reason the phrase "support system" exists.

 

[yellowtapesport]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

Primary is a singular term...which mean only ONE can be primary, the other has to be secondary.

So you choose...

You're attempting to manipulate the definition and context behind what you're saying to fit your ridiculous pov. As a parent you can place emphasis on both being a provider and nurturing your child. As a parent it's your responsibility to do both and to neglect one under some false pretense of manhood just makes you look stupid as fuck. Is providing important? Of course. It costs money to raise a human being. Does that mean you shouldn't also make it a primary objective to nurture your child and give them a sense of security any child should have? Yes.

But how are you doing this if you chose to go back to work? If that's the case, why not take 6 months to where you can actually have an argument that you made a lasting impact on your child during the 'paternity' period...

My point has been the same..I dont have to manipulate shit. My primary goal as a man is to provide. Has been that way since man existed. Seems like you're trying to change the narrative which is why I suggested that this shit is contributing to the feminization of our society...

@Shuffington don't know how you cant see it with all these niggas in here sounding like single mothers lmao

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

Your primary job as a parent is to both provide AND nurture. It's not a one or the other...and no the baby isn't better off which is why there's other countries in the world that offer paid paternity leave because it's not rocket science to know it takes 2 people to properly raise a child. The US is way behind on this shit.

Primary is a singular term...which mean only ONE can be primary, the other has to be secondary.

So you choose...

You're attempting to manipulate the definition and context behind what you're saying to fit your ridiculous pov. As a parent you can place emphasis on both being a provider and nurturing your child. As a parent it's your responsibility to do both and to neglect one under some false pretense of manhood just makes you look stupid as fuck. Is providing important? Of course. It costs money to raise a human being. Does that mean you shouldn't also make it a primary objective to nurture your child and give them a sense of security any child should have? Yes.

But how are you doing this if you chose to go back to work? If that's the case, why not take 6 months to where you can actually have an argument that you made a lasting impact on your child during the 'paternity' period...

My point has been the same..I dont have to manipulate shit. My primary goal as a man is to provide. Has been that way since man existed. Seems like you're trying to change the narrative which is why I suggested that this shit is contributing to the feminization of our society...

@Shuffington don't know how you cant see it with all these niggas in here sounding like single mothers lmao

How am I doing what? Doing both providing and nurturing? Unless you think I was coming home from work on some "Hey he's all yours" shit to my wife and not even attempting to do anything then you way off. And basing your argument around it being feminine to be there for a new born that literally can't do shit w/o somebody doing it for them is even dumber. You've yet to say what's so feminine about raising your child and making your goal more than just to provide financially.

And to contradict your point you make a joke about single mothers when there's actual evidence that kids raised with the influence and nurturing from only 1 parent aren't as well off majority of the time as those with 2...and niggas talk all day long about how women need to be better at "picking men that will actually be there for their child"...yet you you in here saying it's feminine to do so.

If you are at work...its to PROVIDE. Period. What you do when you come home is all fine and dandy and only further proves my point that there was no real NEED for a 'paternity leave.'

And you seem like the type thats never had a BABY MOMMA (congrats on that, btw) so I wouldn't expect you to get my single mother reference...

No i've never had a baby mother. My son is both my wife and our first child. I made sure of that...and yes there still is a need for paternity leave. Again the mother does and will need help. You seem to be completely ignoring the actual changes that goes on in a woman's body from being pregnant then actually having said baby...and if you think that doesn't require some help then idk who lied to you. There's a reason the phrase "support system" exists.

The bold is the reason 'maternity leave' exists and I would never be against that. And you've already proved my point that you dont NEED time off to help.

 

[mryounggun]

@mryounggun

The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

@blackrain

I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

I can only speak for myself and I didn't mention anything about making a life-shaping difference. Like I said in my post, my main reason for taking time off was to help the transition from not having a small mammal that literally depends on you for every single thing...to having a small mammal that depends on you for every single thing. As far as bonding, some of my best memories as a father are from 3am, me and my kid on the couch, a bottle in his mouth and NBA highlights on the TV.

Also...my shit was paid. Can't speak for anyone else. Matter fact, I actually coulda took WAY more paid time off than I did.

And I get that...please dont make it seem like I dont. My job said I have 51 days of PAID leave, but can take up to 12weeks.

What I'm saying is if we aint talking bout UNPAID time away from work, then you not doin this for the baby (even tho u prob never admit it). All that shit you just said you do I DO AND STILL GO TO WORK..not saying I'm better than anyone else just proves my point. Aint no difference (with the baby, mentally/developmentally) from day 10 to day 11, or day 14 to day 15...

The only difference is niggas aint gettin paid...or they bored out they fuckin mind

So miss me with all that 'independent woman' shit

I get what you're saying, but you don't seem to be paying attention to what I'm saying. I mentioned more than once that my goal with taking time off was to help with the TRANSITION INTO PARENTHOOD. I never once mentioned my taking time off work being for the benefit of my son. All the shit I said I did was gonna get done regardless. I even said that it's just EASIER TO DO IT when you don;t have to worry about going to work, also.

Like you, I was gonna do all that shit anyway. But if my job offers paid time off in order to make the transition easier, I don't understand the point in NOT taking it just to perpetuate some tough guy facade, on some 'As a man, I...' shit.

But that's me. I guess I just don't understand what angle you're approaching this from or what your point is. Maybe I missed some shit, fam. It's happened before.