No that's what YOU'RE debating Gabi, you're debating which is better to lead with. We're debating is it better to date someone who is more attractive or someone who has more to offer like intelligence, smartness, etc. I'm sorry but if I were hiring someone to work for me, if I were going to decide the mother of my kids and someone to share my life with you have to bring far more to the table than a pretty face or it's just not going to work.
Let me continue my argument, I bring it down to a more innate level, your personality is linked to your mind and soul all of those things are apart of your intelligence. You say this isn't about extremes well another contradiction on your part. People define intelligence differently, Bill Gates is intelligent in business but lousy in other areas, Les Brown or Tony Robbins are intelligent in the realm of life contributing to their success and appeal. The great Casanova wasn't as good looking as his competition but was intelligent in understanding a woman's emotions and how to attract her using his mind and wit.
If you're going to build a relationship long-term that's the most important aspect. A person can be attractive but if they can't stimulate you mentally it won't go anywhere. What makes intelligence or smartness attractive is it's something everyone can acquire. This is important because it makes people comfortable with being themselves and creates CONFIDENCE. I'll take it even further, public figures are even more attractive because they transmute their intelligence into power. POWER is seductive, intelligence is seductive, confidence is highly seductive, your personality is even more seductive. All these things everyone can have and build upon. Which is better to date ? Someone who can stimulate your mentally is going to be able to stay on your mind and in your life longer than someone who looks good or is popular. Long term you can't build a meaningful relationship out of looks or popularity. Everybody in the game of life is going to require more to succeed. As for better looking people being more successful ? That's laughable, most people that hold public office aren't good looking, the forbes list are far from being heart-throbs but they exhibit confidence, power, success and all these things are apart of some level of intelligence.
The major flaw with what Gabi is saying is it isn't realistic at all. Society pushes impossible standards of beauty to meet and the truth of the matter is people in the workplace don't look like Beyonce. People who are happily married with kids don't look like David Beckham or Victoria Beckham. And even people who are good looking - tell their kids to focus on school and on other attributes like their personality to take them further in life. We fell in love with archetypes like Tony Montana, Jay-Z, Tony Soprano, Michael Corleone, because they were the underdog. They weren't good looking or very popular when they started out but they used cunning, tactics, confidence, patience and effort to get the job done and LEAD. They outsmarted, shifted the odds when it was against them and got everything they ever wanted. All of those traits are tied to your level of intelligence, not of IQ but of who you ARE and what you've gone through. It's what's in your heart that counts, what's in your mind that LEADS. I think Teanna Trump looks AMAZING but as much as I joke, I wouldn't EVER put a ring on her and have children with her because there's nothing more she can bring to the table other than a fat ass and huge tits.
You have to be able to see beyond a person's physical side and understand their emotional needs. You're not doing that based off the superficial, and you're definitely not maintaining that long-term. As for 2Stepz he didn't marry his wife because she had a huge rack and she didn't fall for him because he was the most popular man around either. They established a friendship first and then built off of it. You can say that looks can attract a person physically but you can't use that alone to build a relationship or use as the basis to marry someone and raise kids.
You don't have to be Stephen Hawkings/Bill Gates smart, that's extreme and most of us aren't. The idea looks take your further isn't reality. The mass majority of the public aren't gorgeous but they make up for it in other ways still managing to be our bosses, valuable employees and good people to society. If we're looking at this from the perspective of dating we have to look at the whole picture, what about children ? I wouldn't ever bestow upon my kids that the better they look the further they'll go, that's the perfect recipe for insecurity and narrow-mindedness and society to make them into tools. I'll educate my daughter that there's more to her than a fat ass and a smile and to use what's in her mind and heart to go above and beyond. I'll ensure my sons put the emphasis on school and not how they fuckin look or how many hoes they can rope.
Personality encompasses who we are, it's our source of power. These things are apart of your smartness and how you use them dictates where you go in the world. This is the essence of POWER which is far more attractive. Society places impossible physical standards to meet and as I said in the long-run looks and popularity get old and the reality is we're going to HAVE to love people for who they are and hope they see us in the same light.
