is this true about single mothers?

[NothingButTheTruth]

As a single mother, I would have to disagree with most of the comments being made here. I was raised with both of my parents in the household and although their relationship was horrible, they chose to stay together for the children. It was horrible. Your children suffer just as much when the environment is not conducive to a loving relationship between both parents. My parents tell me daily how great of a job I am doing with my daughters and I am doing it alone. And when I say alone, I mean alone. I make it an effort not to talk badly about their father, however when children get of a certain age, they deduce things for themselves. If your child is constantly asking you to attend a soccer game, orchestra concert etc and it's always an excuse of why you can't. That sends a message. The mother doesn't have to say anything. Hell with cell phones, the communication can be solely between the child and the father.

So, why didn't you map out his "fatherly qualities" before you had a child with him? I tell people with baby mama drama this all the time. Why are you procreating with someone, before you figure out if they would make a good parent?

In sum, you are partly to blame for this. Hopefully next time, you don't assume anything, ask the right questions, and give it enough time before you bring another child in this world.

 

[Colin$mackabi$h]

Ya'll keep it real. On a side note, do you think young people, 25 years old and younger, purposely have kids........only to show them off? They want to see a little version of themselves, they want to show off pics of them to everyone. They want to dress alike, etc. I really think so.

Maybe some cant control all they emotions like others..

 

[deadeye]

Ya'll keep it real. On a side note, do you think young people, 25 years old and younger, purposely have kids........only to show them off? They want to see a little version of themselves, they want to show off pics of them to everyone. They want to dress alike, etc. I really think so.

Start a little bit lower and you might have a point.

That might be the case with some young teenage moms......but not with anyone close to 25.

 

[NothingButTheTruth]

1.People need to get their mind right, career and money together before starting a family.

2.People spend their money on everything except birth control or too broke or dumb to use it.

3.If you're only physically attracted to someone, always have some sort of protection.

4.Before marriage, communicate about how money will be used and how many kids to have. In laws and religion is optional.

I agree with getting the mind right, but career and money is another thing. It's silly to think poor couples should hold off on having a child because their money isn't right. Using money as a prerequisite for something as fundamentally important as having a child is poison on so many levels.

 

[damobb2deep]

As a single mother, I would have to disagree with most of the comments being made here. I was raised with both of my parents in the household and although their relationship was horrible, they chose to stay together for the children. It was horrible. Your children suffer just as much when the environment is not conducive to a loving relationship between both parents. My parents tell me daily how great of a job I am doing with my daughters and I am doing it alone. And when I say alone, I mean alone. I make it an effort not to talk badly about their father, however when children get of a certain age, they deduce things for themselves. If your child is constantly asking you to attend a soccer game, orchestra concert etc and it's always an excuse of why you can't. That sends a message. The mother doesn't have to say anything. Hell with cell phones, the communication can be solely between the child and the father.

So, why didn't you map out his "fatherly qualities" before you had a child with him? I tell people with baby mama drama this all the time. Why are you procreating with someone, before you figure out if they would make a good parent?

In sum, you are partly to blame for this. Hopefully next time, you don't assume anything, ask the right questions, and give it enough time before you bring another child in this world.

you can't tell how a person is going to totally act when they have a child unless they have them already then you would have more of a point...

 

[deadeye]

1.People need to get their mind right, career and money together before starting a family.

2.People spend their money on everything except birth control or too broke or dumb to use it.

3.If you're only physically attracted to someone, always have some sort of protection.

4.Before marriage, communicate about how money will be used and how many kids to have. In laws and religion is optional.

It's silly to think poor couples should hold off on having a child because their money isn't right. Using money as a prerequisite for something as fundamentally important as having a child is poison on so many levels.

Not quite sure how I feel about that.

 

[Colin$mackabi$h]

But babies cost money tho...

 

[damobb2deep]

But babies cost money tho...

true.... but it don't mean that you shouldn't have kids because you are low on money..

 

[Melqart]

But babies cost money tho...

true.... but it don't mean that you shouldn't have kids because you are low on money..

why? because you know the government will pick up the slack? while on some level i agree it shouldnt be completely about money. on the other hand, its selfish knowing you dont have the resources to give a child, or even yourself after conception the basic necessities when you could be maybe just a little bit more ambitious before conceiving...... to eventually expose said child to opportunity and experiences that you may have never had before.

 

[damobb2deep]

But babies cost money tho...

true.... but it don't mean that you shouldn't have kids because you are low on money..

why? because you know the government will pick up the slack? while on some level i agree it shouldnt be completely about money. on the other hand, its selfish knowing you dont have the resources to give a child, or even yourself after conception the basic necessities when you could be maybe just a little bit more ambitious before conceiving...... to eventually expose said child to opportunity and experiences that you may have never had before.

because the fact that although you might struggle a little you have a limited window of having a child so as long as you not homeless and the struggle is not too much I don't see why you can't as long as you can provide a basic necessities... even if it's hard as long as it's something you want...

 

[desertrain10]

How can you guarantee the role a man will choose to play until the responsibility is put upon him?

You can take an educated gamble but there are no certainties.

But that's the point, shorty ~ Most people don't take "educated" gambles.

Most people want who they have the best time with to also be a great Spouse and/or Parent.

I've spent time with some dope ass women. Smart, funny, sexy, motivated, ext, and the pussy was A1. But never not once did I allow myself to believe that all of those good vibes would translate to being a good Mother, or even a good longterm girlfriend. I'm not even saying that these qualities are mutually exclusive, but they most certainly aren't one in the same.

* Niggas get shytty at femmes because on an enormous scale, women make bad choices with warped criteria. And they keep making those same mistakes, over and over again, year after year, generation after generation.

A good dick ≠ a Good boyfriend ≠ a Good husband ≠ a Good father.

Men seem to know this when it comes to women. We may knock up sluts, but it's never intentional. Never.

But women knowingly procreate with niggas who everyone ( EVERYONE ) else can see is no good.

Why is that, @Kat?

Men never intentionally knock up "sluts"???? Lol

Bruh stop

If a woman is attractive enough there's a line of thristy niggas out there willing to wife her...."slut" or not

There's no monopoly on stupidity lol

 

[NothingButTheTruth]

you can't tell how a person is going to totally act when they have a child unless they have them already then you would have more of a point...

Most people have little brothers, cousins, nephews etc. You can observe how involved he is in their lives and if he spends quality time with the young people in his family.

1.People need to get their mind right, career and money together before starting a family.

2.People spend their money on everything except birth control or too broke or dumb to use it.

3.If you're only physically attracted to someone, always have some sort of protection.

4.Before marriage, communicate about how money will be used and how many kids to have. In laws and religion is optional.

It's silly to think poor couples should hold off on having a child because their money isn't right. Using money as a prerequisite for something as fundamentally important as having a child is poison on so many levels.

Not quite sure how I feel about that.

So, what if your grandparents or great grandparents thought that way? The vast amount of people who have a lineage of immigrants or people who were brought to the U.S. as slaves, would not have been born.

It's a pretty fundamental concept.

 

[Fosheezy]

If life came with a handbook we'd all be better off, but it doesn't..we can only make moves that we THINK are the way to go, but nothing is guaranteed.

Life does come with a handbook. It's called The Book. Do you know him? [/DoU?]

 

[CP203]

Single mothers become annoying when they want extra credit for taking care of their responsibilities

 

[D. Morgan]

Its no wonder our community suffers like it does. The broken family household is tearing us apart. These chicks are choosing to not procreate with the winners in our society they are choosing the scum, the vile, the unclean, then cry about the babies and consequences later. Lets just be real about it and stop coddling these hoes

that's the thing... statistically our families are not as broken as they want us to believe... black men are in their children's life more than any other race.... also black women are the most educated out of women in any other race... but the fact that niggas want to believe that "we ain't shyt" because stereotypes say so... niggas start to believe that.. we have at least one "black excellence" thread in here a week.. but they don't do numbers... but let a thread that makes us look like shyt or us being treated like shyt and those threads do... smh.. niggas need to revamp their thinking..

also I have said this plenty of times but get negative reactions all the time.. black people need to start looking at themselves as individuals instead of as a group.. we are the only race if one of us does something bad we all look bad... makes no sense..

Not really going to comment on the topic but its interesting to say the least.

To the bold, being educated doesn't mean the person is SMART.

 

[D. Morgan]

Or these females just accept responsibility and reality. You drop your panties for a boy in a mans body that wasn't about accepting his responsibility in fathering a child. So you teach the son or daughter the truth, so that curse doesn't manifest into a generational curse. You don't get mad at the child, get angry or vindictive and raise them up in a incorrect way. But then again, alot get bitter because they lil girls themselves.

not say you but people in general promote "boyish behavior".... "don't love these hoes".... "smash and dash"... "Bros before hoes" ect... are all the things you will high five your nigga for doing but bash the female he does it to... you can't have it both ways.. honestly niggas get vindictive as well.. but again there are so many other reasons a female may be a single mother... her fucking a "ain't shyt dude" is only one...

btw people should put as much effort into teaching their sons " you make that baby you stay there for that baby" (not necessarily with the woman) that would curb alot of issues as well...

PREACH! The same ones screaming "You must have messed with ain't shit niggas" be the same ones screaming in the next breath "Fuck these hoes" "Bitches in't shit but hoes and tricks" Nigga what does that make you.

Stop the madness.

Crazy thing is you never know what kind of father a man will be until he has his first child. You would hope if the relationship doesn't work out between the parents, they would adult enough to know there is a difference between being a father and being a mate. Some belive it's synonymous and that's unfortunate. It's just difficult to gauge what the outcome would be while in the relationship when it's just the 2 of you.

The bold is bullshit. There are plenty of men who have their first child when they are young and are nothing to that child at all. Then later on in life once they have been through and learned a few things calm and slow down in life have another child are a great father to that 2nd child.

Yes its fucked up that the first child didn't get the father the 2nd child is getting but people can realize the error of their ways and try to get things right the 2nd go round. Some of the fathers like I just described even try to make things right with the first child even though it doesn't always work out. The first child has every right to not forgive the father for how things went.

 

[S2J]

I would have to agree that it is a cycle that continues without the presence of a father but I also think the term 'single mother' gets applied to loosely. My BM considers herself a single mother but that bitch ain't doin nothin singularly lol

She's a single mother bro. Dont Bris Brown the situation and think she different. Make no mistake about it, she is who we talkin bout

 

[bununs alias]

lol why yall say bris brown ? whats the b for?

 

[bununs alias]

why do yall talk like these women are getting themselves pregnant ?

It's "their body" though.

Since it's her body, the woman has the ultimate power to decide whether or not she's going to go through with the pregnancy.

Basically, it takes two to make a baby.....but only one person has all the power.

lmao wtf does that have to do with anything ? are you serious ? how does that explain how you are removing black men from the equation of single mothers ?

 

[MrMinimalist]

We know it takes more factors than money to raise a child but c'mon! Without money you can't pay a babysitter, can't get the right food, etc. People want assistance from their family and the government to help with shit they couldn't handle from the first place. Why you think they have canned good drives, children having food insecurities, and such? That's because their broke ass parents aren't able to fully provide.