is this true about single mothers?

[bununs alias]

Or these females just accept responsibility and reality. You drop your panties for a boy in a mans body that wasn't about accepting his responsibility in fathering a child. So you teach the son or daughter the truth, so that curse doesn't manifest into a generational curse. You don't get mad at the child, get angry or vindictive and raise them up in a incorrect way. But then again, alot get bitter because they lil girls themselves.

not say you but people in general promote "boyish behavior".... "don't love these hoes".... "smash and dash"... "Bros before hoes" ect... are all the things you will high five your nigga for doing but bash the female he does it to... you can't have it both ways.. honestly niggas get vindictive as well.. but again there are so many other reasons a female may be a single mother... her fucking a "ain't shyt dude" is only one...

btw people should put as much effort into teaching their sons " you make that baby you stay there for that baby" (not necessarily with the woman) that would curb alot of issues as well...

PREACH! The same ones screaming "You must have messed with ain't shit niggas" be the same ones screaming in the next breath "Fuck these hoes" "Bitches in't shit but hoes and tricks" Nigga what does that make you.

Stop the madness.

Crazy thing is you never know what kind of father a man will be until he has his first child. You would hope if the relationship doesn't work out between the parents, they would adult enough to know there is a difference between being a father and being a mate. Some belive it's synonymous and that's unfortunate. It's just difficult to gauge what the outcome would be while in the relationship when it's just the 2 of you.

The bold is bullshit. There are plenty of men who have their first child when they are young and are nothing to that child at all. Then later on in life once they have been through and learned a few things calm and slow down in life have another child are a great father to that 2nd child.

Yes its fucked up that the first child didn't get the father the 2nd child is getting but people can realize the error of their ways and try to get things right the 2nd go round. Some of the fathers like I just described even try to make things right with the first child even though it doesn't always work out. The first child has every right to not forgive the father for how things went.

mommas baby, poppas maybe

 

[S2J]

As a single mother, I would have to disagree with most of the comments being made here. I was raised with both of my parents in the household and although their relationship was horrible, they chose to stay together for the children. It was horrible. Your children suffer just as much when the environment is not conducive to a loving relationship between both parents. My parents tell me daily how great of a job I am doing with my daughters and I am doing it alone. And when I say alone, I mean alone. I make it an effort not to talk badly about their father, however when children get of a certain age, they deduce things for themselves. If your child is constantly asking you to attend a soccer game, orchestra concert etc and it's always an excuse of why you can't. That sends a message. The mother doesn't have to say anything. Hell with cell phones, the communication can be solely between the child and the father.

My children want for nothing. They live in a nice home, participate in extra curricular activities and travel the world. I have 1 biological daughter and 1 neice that I've raised since she was 6. She is now 16 and is being heavily recruited to top colleges around the country, she plays the viola competitively and has lettered in soccer since she was a freshman. She attends highly coveted summer camps, for musical and academic enhancement. My girls are well rounded, cultured and will be highly successful young women, all from being raised by a single mother.

Since my divorce 4 years ago, I have only introduced my girls to one man. A man I dated for almost 2 years and he wasn't introduced to them until well in our relationship. I don't bring men to my home or around my daughters. The message that I relay to my daughters is to be self-sufficient, first. They should never be in a position to be reliant on a man. I have shown them by example that if you are not happy in a relationship it is OK to let it go and take care of yourself and your offspring. Your happiness and well being should always be paramount. So this notion that a women can not raise productive children in society is blasphemous and down right damn ridiculous.

That's what they callin it these days...

But anyway you get a slight pass since its a divorce. But let's not act like thats the new normal. Its human nature to rationalize things just bc thats YOUR reality

But lets be clear, a 2 parent home will always trump a single parent home even if its helmed by a 'stroooong woman who dont need no maaaaaan'.

But thats the sign of the times, thats what they do, chicks will describe their single household as if thats ideal, like its what they prefer and wanted all along

 

[deadeye]

why do yall talk like these women are getting themselves pregnant ?

It's "their body" though.

Since it's her body, the woman has the ultimate power to decide whether or not she's going to go through with the pregnancy.

Basically, it takes two to make a baby.....but only one person has all the power.

lmao wtf does that have to do with anything ? are you serious ? how does that explain how you are removing black men from the equation of single mothers ?

Mothers being the key word.

Basically, it's their choice whether to be mothers to begin with.

So, ultimately, it's their responsibility to choose a suitable mate who will live up to the responsibility of being a father.

Right or wrong......it may not be fair, but it's all on them if they end up being a single mother due to their bad decisions.

 

[damobb2deep]

Its no wonder our community suffers like it does. The broken family household is tearing us apart. These chicks are choosing to not procreate with the winners in our society they are choosing the scum, the vile, the unclean, then cry about the babies and consequences later. Lets just be real about it and stop coddling these hoes

that's the thing... statistically our families are not as broken as they want us to believe... black men are in their children's life more than any other race.... also black women are the most educated out of women in any other race... but the fact that niggas want to believe that "we ain't shyt" because stereotypes say so... niggas start to believe that.. we have at least one "black excellence" thread in here a week.. but they don't do numbers... but let a thread that makes us look like shyt or us being treated like shyt and those threads do... smh.. niggas need to revamp their thinking..

also I have said this plenty of times but get negative reactions all the time.. black people need to start looking at themselves as individuals instead of as a group.. we are the only race if one of us does something bad we all look bad... makes no sense..

Not really going to comment on the topic but its interesting to say the least.

To the bold, being educated doesn't mean the person is SMART.

true... but in this case it really don't matter...

 

[trendsetta1030]

Some single mothers are so bitter and angry at the doggish men they chose to lay down with that they subconsciously end up raising their sons to become the SAME men that they hate…and their daughters to end up making the SAME relational mistakes they made...contributing to the madness.

One way to overcome the bitterness you may feel towards the father of your child(ren) is to understand the power of CHOICE...and that in the end...regardless of what he said/did that provoked you to BELIEVE he would do right by you...you made a CHOICE to believe/trust.

Once you understand a man isn't your true problem..but your CHOICES are...then you will be able to take your power back and become joyous about being in control to make BETTER choices in the future.

It's a cycle

 

[TheNightKing]

As a single mother, I would have to disagree with most of the comments being made here. I was raised with both of my parents in the household and although their relationship was horrible, they chose to stay together for the children. It was horrible. Your children suffer just as much when the environment is not conducive to a loving relationship between both parents. My parents tell me daily how great of a job I am doing with my daughters and I am doing it alone. And when I say alone, I mean alone. I make it an effort not to talk badly about their father, however when children get of a certain age, they deduce things for themselves. If your child is constantly asking you to attend a soccer game, orchestra concert etc and it's always an excuse of why you can't. That sends a message. The mother doesn't have to say anything. Hell with cell phones, the communication can be solely between the child and the father.

My children want for nothing. They live in a nice home, participate in extra curricular activities and travel the world. I have 1 biological daughter and 1 neice that I've raised since she was 6. She is now 16 and is being heavily recruited to top colleges around the country, she plays the viola competitively and has lettered in soccer since she was a freshman. She attends highly coveted summer camps, for musical and academic enhancement. My girls are well rounded, cultured and will be highly successful young women, all from being raised by a single mother.

Since my divorce 4 years ago, I have only introduced my girls to one man. A man I dated for almost 2 years and he wasn't introduced to them until well in our relationship. I don't bring men to my home or around my daughters. The message that I relay to my daughters is to be self-sufficient, first. They should never be in a position to be reliant on a man. I have shown them by example that if you are not happy in a relationship it is OK to let it go and take care of yourself and your offspring. Your happiness and well being should always be paramount. So this notion that a women can not raise productive children in society is blasphemous and down right damn ridiculous.

That's what they callin it these days...

But anyway you get a slight pass since its a divorce. But let's not act like thats the new normal. Its human nature to rationalize things just bc thats YOUR reality

But lets be clear, a 2 parent home will always trump a single parent home even if its helmed by a 'stroooong woman who dont need no maaaaaan'.

But thats the sign of the times, thats what they do, chicks will describe their single household as if thats ideal, like its what they prefer and wanted all along

Yeah, everybody's so damn selfish now. They put themselves over their spouse and even their kids. That's where that "I got to be happy" bullshit phrase comes in. I got to be happy is basically code for I'm not getting every single thing the way I want it so I'm out. There's no appreciation for the good shit in the relationship. No one should ever put up with abuse or cheating, but outside of that you should be able to deal and make things work. If you can't, you obviously overlooked some glaring issues leading up to being a single mom/dad.

 

[TheNightKing]

And I think a woman can tell whether a man will be a good father or not before they have kids. If she decided to see that man with rose colored glasses, then I have no sympathy for her. He ain't shit either, but as we all know it's the woman that ends up raising the child on her own.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

Any questions that talks about a whole group as if it is a couple people is inherently stupid. I'm sure there are a lot of single mothers that are accurately described by the OP. I'm also sure there many who are the exact opposite of that description. Stop stereotyping people.

 

[babelipsss]

When the subject of single parenthood comes up, people immediately jump to defensive mode. Usually because they themselves are one or a product of one. They will tout all kinds of stories of how it's not the end of the world (its not), or they know so many single mothers with degrees, six figures, blah blah. We rarely want to address the real issues of multiple children by multiple men, stress, and the quality of life for a mother who is simply overwhelmed by massive responsibility and blame for most of our societies wrongs. We make it taste better by praising

 

[babelipsss]

the behavior instead of tackling the problem, (and it is a problem). It can be managed with birth control but our communities shun it.

 

[scorpio4lfe]

Single mothers become annoying when they want extra credit for taking care of their responsibilities

There are different degrees of taking care of your responsibility. Those who do extremely well in handling that task should be commended as many have pointed out it is more difficult to handle parenthood alone and to some (as noted in this thread) impossible to have a favorable outcome. Which I disagree to the latter by the way.

 

[CP203]

Single mothers become annoying when they want extra credit for taking care of their responsibilities

There are different degrees of taking acre of your responsibility. Those who do extremely well in handling that task should be commended as many have pointed out it is more difficult to handle parenthood alone and to some (as noted in this thread) impossible to have a favorable outcome. Which I disagree to the latter by the way.

I'm not going to say anything because it would come off as disrespectful

 

[scorpio4lfe]

Single mothers become annoying when they want extra credit for taking care of their responsibilities

There are different degrees of taking acre of your responsibility. Those who do extremely well in handling that task should be commended as many have pointed out it is more difficult to handle parenthood alone and to some (as noted in this thread) impossible to have a favorable outcome. Which I disagree to the latter by the way.

I'm not going to say anything because it would come off as disrespectful

We all have our opinions so no judgement here sir. Say what's on your mind.

 

[BEAM]

Men never intentionally knock up "sluts"???? Lol

Bruh stop

If a woman is attractive enough there's a line of thristy niggas out there willing to wife her...."slut" or not

There's no monopoly on stupidity lol

Being willing to be with someone and being willing to have a child with them are two entirely different things.

Sure, niggas want to smash off on, have relationships with, and yes, even marry hoes. But women are far more prone to not only want long-term relationships with the wrong niggas, but to also procreate with them; Or at least they're alright with doing so..

And honestly, a lot of it may be social..

Sexually irresponsible men aren't chastised the way sexually irresponsible women are..

For some reason, men are far less likely to condone and continue relationships after having been cheated on..

It would seem that women make excuses for men far more than men make excuses for women, and it results in the former making poor, life-changing decisions.

So no, women may not monopolize stupidity, by any means. But in some instances, women consistently make bad choices, relationship after relationship, year after year, generation after generation.

It is what it is, and you know I'm always siding with women on many social issues on this site; So please, don't frame your argument around mischaracterizing me like you started to do above.