In Honor Of Ryan Lochte, what's the biggest lie you ever told...

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TheBoyRo;9271129 said:
I remember being in 6th grade back in 96, this Caucasian sold me a playboy magazine from 1994 for like $5. I kept it in my room, under the bed. My parents told me to clean under my bed one day. My dumbass waited too long to do it and forgot that magazine was there. I ran up there and lo and behold, they cleaned it for me and found the magazine. Being raised in a Christian home, they wanted an explanation. I concocted a story that I found the magazine on the street and didn't want any child to find it. They bought it

LOL they didn't believe that shit
 
Pops caught me sneaking back in the crib late night one time my senior when I had to sneak out to get some action from the gf at the time. Had to sneak out the window in the dining room cause my room was upstairs and we had one of them alarms that beep when you open the door so as I was comin back in here comes pops from in the kitchen, im scared as shit(my pops is a big ass dude lol), didnt even have an alibi ready but "why were you out there this late son?" uhhhh "One of my friends was drinkin and needed a ride home and I knew u werent gonna let me go If I asked" :joy: I dont remember what he said but I got out of it, doubt he really believed me but I was scared as hell. Till this day I have no idea how he knew I was gone, hes the type that gets up in the middle of the night to make sure the door is locked so he prolly seen the curtains jacked up a little and checked to see if the window was locked smh.
 
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Stew;9272395 said:
Pops caught me sneaking back in the crib late night one time my senior when I had to sneak out to get some action from the gf at the time. Had to sneak out the window in the dining room cause my room was upstairs and we had one of them alarms that beep when you open the door so as I was comin back in here comes pops from in the kitchen, im scared as shit(my pops is a big ass dude lol), didnt even have a lullaby ready but "why were you out there this late son?" uhhhh "One of my friends was drinkin and needed a ride home and I knew u werent gonna let me go If I asked" :joy: I dont remember what he said but I got out of it, doubt he really believed me but I was scared as hell. Till this day I have no idea how he knew I was gone, hes the type that gets up in the middle of the night to make sure the door is locked so he prolly seen the curtains jacked up a little and checked to see if the window was locked smh.

NIGGA...
 
the dukester;9272141 said:
Told this bitch I lived with my bed-ridden, full-blown AIDS Pop. And that's why she can't come chill at my crib (I live with baby moms).

Was smashing her dumb-ass for 2 years before she started getting "suspicious."

Lol I did the same thing. Told my long standing girl that grandma was too sick and that guests would distract me from caring for her.

It's been tough keeping this one up though she seems to have instincts that something is off. Her dad is a cop after all.
 
I done told so many females I love them and want them to have my babies when I'm in the pussy I can't remember which one was the biggest.
 
I faked my death on this chick i was dating from another school cause i wanted outta the relationship and i aint have the heart to end it

I had my boys in on that shit and everything. One of my bestfriends at the time was dating her sister so we used to all get on the phone together & shit so i basically just had him call them on 3 way and tell them i got killed.

this was before facebook, twitter & all that.. i think myspace was around but it was JUST comin around at that time. Hell come to think of it i still had either my Kyocera flip phone or my LG Rhythm..

Anyways, I asked my boy what she said and he said she was upset and just kept asking him questions so he had to fake sob over the phone and just hang up like he couldnt handle it.

Me doing this kinda fucked up his relationship with the sister and him and my other homies had to stop going up the road to kick it in their hood because her and her sis kept asking them questions about what happened and i guess they got tired of that shit
 
BOSSExcellence;9271146 said:
im too areogant to lie..

word. my short-term memory is too fucked up to maintain a lie. i just tell the truth and forget about the repercussions after a week at most.
 
lord nemesis;9272421 said:
Stew;9272395 said:
Pops caught me sneaking back in the crib late night one time my senior when I had to sneak out to get some action from the gf at the time. Had to sneak out the window in the dining room cause my room was upstairs and we had one of them alarms that beep when you open the door so as I was comin back in here comes pops from in the kitchen, im scared as shit(my pops is a big ass dude lol), didnt even have a lullaby ready but "why were you out there this late son?" uhhhh "One of my friends was drinkin and needed a ride home and I knew u werent gonna let me go If I asked" :joy: I dont remember what he said but I got out of it, doubt he really believed me but I was scared as hell. Till this day I have no idea how he knew I was gone, hes the type that gets up in the middle of the night to make sure the door is locked so he prolly seen the curtains jacked up a little and checked to see if the window was locked smh.

NIGGA...

i legit thought maybe this nigga was in the practice of singing his pops to sleep on some jungle book trust in me shit when he got caught fucking up.
 
I lied to a stripper once that I was a psychologist expert on the human mind.I made some shit up about studying dead criminal brains to see how they tick.I told her I understood the stripper mind and made some BS up about how she holds great power in there and can control any man she wants if she uses it right. She went into her personal life lie how she lets men walk over because she is scared if they knew her blah blah She did not leave my side the entire night smh chick called over the other strippers to show off her "new friend" Once I smashed I dipped.I was there again 6-7 months later..she like "Have we met?"

"No, I just came out of a coma.Am here to celebrate life"

 
SneakDZA;9272760 said:
lord nemesis;9272421 said:
Stew;9272395 said:
Pops caught me sneaking back in the crib late night one time my senior when I had to sneak out to get some action from the gf at the time. Had to sneak out the window in the dining room cause my room was upstairs and we had one of them alarms that beep when you open the door so as I was comin back in here comes pops from in the kitchen, im scared as shit(my pops is a big ass dude lol), didnt even have a lullaby ready but "why were you out there this late son?" uhhhh "One of my friends was drinkin and needed a ride home and I knew u werent gonna let me go If I asked" :joy: I dont remember what he said but I got out of it, doubt he really believed me but I was scared as hell. Till this day I have no idea how he knew I was gone, hes the type that gets up in the middle of the night to make sure the door is locked so he prolly seen the curtains jacked up a little and checked to see if the window was locked smh.

NIGGA...

i legit thought maybe this nigga was in the practice of singing his pops to sleep on some jungle book trust in me shit when he got caught fucking up.

That's the 2nd time in as many weeks I fucked up bad. Need to read a fuckin book, IC turnin me into a dummy lol
 
I recently started lying about the job to bitches...i say im a armed celebrity guard.. They believe it bcuz of my backround...so when im fuckn other bitches friday night..they think im protecting a govenor or sum shit...oh n i cant txt u back or ill get fired("celebs think id be leakn info)

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me and my niggas used to steal authentic basketball and football jerseys from the mall back in middle school. I used to sell most of mine but I kept a lot of the rare ones. I would wear a plain white or black tee out the house then put the jersey I had in my backpack on as I walked to the bus stop. Mama noticed one day when I had about two weeks worth of jerseys that needed to be washed and asked where I got them. Told her I borrowed a few from my friends and found the rest in this lost and found box in gym class. Idk why she believed niggas was losing brand new expensive shit on a daily basis
 

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