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In Honor Of Ryan Lochte, what's the biggest lie you ever told...

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DWO;9271378 said:
crashed a homies car while drunk driving...picking this nigga up from work......i hit a fucking median and side swiped the shit outta the passenger door....

when i got to the niggaz job, i went over to the passenger side, and let him get in the drivers side...nigga drove all the way home and ain't notice the shit till the next day, he thought the dump truck did it while going through the parking lot....i went with that story
Click to expand...

:joy:

That reminds me of one of mine. My freshman year of college, was going home to visit the peeps. I had just got my 1st cell phone so u know I was on that bitch so on the way to the peeps crib I'm drivin and textin like a muhfucka...BOOM ran straight into the back of a construction-like truck lol so here's my little ass Mitsubishi Mirage all fucked up and didn't leave a scratch on the truck so that was good, police didn't even need to be called. I got another 3 hrs to go before I get home, I'm worried as shit bout what imma tell my pops. Get home I'm like fuck that, can't tell the truth(smh) so I told him I hit a deer on the backroads gettin home lol shit worked like a charm.

Lookin back at it, was no reason for me to lie, hell it was my car, I paid for the shit lol I ended up tellin him the truth years later so it's all good.
 
Stew;9271435 said:
DWO;9271378 said:
crashed a homies car while drunk driving...picking this nigga up from work......i hit a fucking median and side swiped the shit outta the passenger door....

when i got to the niggaz job, i went over to the passenger side, and let him get in the drivers side...nigga drove all the way home and ain't notice the shit till the next day, he thought the dump truck did it while going through the parking lot....i went with that story
Click to expand...

:joy:

That reminds me of one of mine. My freshman year of college, was going home to visit the peeps. I had just got my 1st cell phone so u know I was on that bitch so on the way to the peeps crib I'm drivin and textin like a muhfucka...BOOM ran straight into the back of a construction-like truck lol so here's my little ass Mitsubishi Mirage all fucked up and didn't leave a scratch on the truck so that was good, police didn't even need to be called. I got another 3 hrs to go before I get home, I'm worried as shit bout what imma tell my pops. Get home I'm like fuck that, can't tell the truth(smh) so I told him I hit a deer on the backroads gettin home lol shit worked like a charm.

Lookin back at it, was no reason for me to lie, hell it was my car, I paid for the shit lol I ended up tellin him the truth years later so it's all good.
Click to expand...

yea, that's good, but me and that nigga had a coupe of bad falling outs...he was a grimey dude and screwed me out of a lot of money down the road, way more than that door, so it all evened out
 
Almost every story I told a bitch was a lie. The bitch im fucking currently thinks I used to deal drugs. Man i forgot some of the other lies I told her. Its always been funny to me to see what I can get a bitch to believe
 
I had a girlfriend when I was 17. She was 18. She was a virgin. I wasn't. Told her I was though. I straight snatched her shit.
 
DWO;9271378 said:
crashed a homies car while drunk driving...picking this nigga up from work......i hit a fucking median and side swiped the shit outta the passenger door....

when i got to the niggaz job, i went over to the passenger side, and let him get in the drivers side...nigga drove all the way home and ain't notice the shit till the next day, he thought the dump truck did it while going through the parking lot....i went with that story
Click to expand...

I bet you gave that nigga some dap before you left like it was all good....

lol u a foul nigga brah
 
I got caught cutting school by one of my mom's friends. They called and told her, so when she got home from work she was like why were you out in the streets?

With the clock winding down I had to throw up that half court shot:

'Uh... There was a fire!"

Thought I was in the clear when she dropped it, but moms was plotting. When she got up the next day and saw there wasn't a fire in the morning paper, she woke my ass up and asked me if I was telling the truth. When I was like nah, I was bullshitting, your boy caught them hands when I was still in the bed hahahaha
 
6a00e552737cff88330154343c6504970c.png


 
And another one

Got caught with a envelope of money back when I used to hustle as a teenager. I had some return address (out of state)/ postage r on it so they looked like it came in the mail.

Moms saw it and since we didn't have paper like that she was asked me where I got it from. Had to bullshit and say that I met a shorty online who took pity on a broke ass cat like myself. Said she wanted me to get some new fits and take pics for her.

This was in the late 90s, way before catfishing was a word and moms try to put me on game like "watch out, that's probably some old creepy ass white man pretending to be a girl." The game she was trying to put me on was too real so I was legitimately thankful and was like bet, I'ma be more careful.

I was also way more careful about hiding my paper too.

Moms didn't know it was bullshit until a cat was 30
 
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DWO;9271409 said:
nigga was like 14....during the summer...and we was tryna go to the mall before my mom got home from work, but my dumb ass left the key in the house....

my homeboy sean was like a fucking monkey, nigga could climb anything, so i helped this nigga climb onto our roof so he could go through my window and let me in the house.....

soon as this nigga jumps on the roof the back door wings open

moms: nigga what the fuck did you just throw in the roof??

me:
shock1.jpg


uh nothing

moms:
abw.jpg


i said what did you throw in the roof?

me: sean......

yea i ain't make the mall, or shit else that summer
Click to expand...

Ur mom is hot
 
TheBoyRo;9271129 said:
I remember being in 6th grade back in 96, this Caucasian sold me a playboy magazine from 1994 for like $5. I kept it in my room, under the bed. My parents told me to clean under my bed one day. My dumbass waited too long to do it and forgot that magazine was there. I ran up there and lo and behold, they cleaned it for me and found the magazine. Being raised in a Christian home, they wanted an explanation. I concocted a story that I found the magazine on the street and didn't want any child to find it. They bought it
Click to expand...

They did not believe that shit.
 
Told this bitch I lived with my bed-ridden, full-blown AIDS Pop. And that's why she can't come chill at my crib (I live with baby moms).

Was smashing her dumb-ass for 2 years before she started getting "suspicious."
 
DWO;9271378 said:
crashed a homies car while drunk driving...picking this nigga up from work......i hit a fucking median and side swiped the shit outta the passenger door....

when i got to the niggaz job, i went over to the passenger side, and let him get in the drivers side...nigga drove all the way home and ain't notice the shit till the next day, he thought the dump truck did it while going through the parking lot....i went with that story
Click to expand...

Nikka I'm @ the airport right now and this story got me weak as phuck!! Lmaaoooo!!!

I jus walked past a flight attendant and she told me "....It can't be that funny" and I her, "Shittin' me!" and told her the story, needless to say she was rollin' and said she would have done the same thing too.

I bet after dude drove off Du was like.....

p7gdq6ca3m9u.gif


Then his "friend" told him the dump truck story and Du was like.....

110n3q5spz75.gif


 
Oh and btw @Dwo....u ain't shiT!! (w/ a Capital T) LoL

And neither is that flight attendant!! She was cute doe.
 
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