jetlifebih
New member
Just to be clear I don't have a problem with you poo putts washing another niggas laundry, I mean raising other niggas kids...... dont make you any better only in the eyes of the single moms
How Many of Y'all Have Taken Care of Someone Elses Child, Because of a Relationship?
CP203;8081903 said:
Meh. It ain't about that. You are missing the point.
A man should never have to "pat himself on the back" for anything.
Do what you feel is right and live with the consequences. Don't do things for approval or recognition.
To me, it isn't about the biological lineage of a child. That is surpassed by a special relationship that is established with the right woman and her child. I am sure this type of hypothetical is relatively rare and every situation is different.
But if it did happen, I wouldn't let the responsibility of raising a child stand in the way of that.
But to each his own.
Really and truly, my post got this thread popping...t/s owes me...
But I need to clarify my first post. I didn't mean it makes you a man looking after some other nigga kids...
I meant that if you meet a woman, you fall in love, and she already has a child, in order to love that woman, you have to be man enough to accept that child as part of the package.
Niggas saying they would date women with kids but want no part in the kids live sounds stupid af to me...
FTR my step daughter has NEVER called me dad nor would I want her to. But I am father that has fed and clothed and supported her.
We are friends....and all serious disapline is left down to her mother. If I feel she needs telling something, I talk to her mother and she deals with it. Whereas my kids, I lay the smack down.
But I need to clarify my first post. I didn't mean it makes you a man looking after some other nigga kids...
I meant that if you meet a woman, you fall in love, and she already has a child, in order to love that woman, you have to be man enough to accept that child as part of the package.
Niggas saying they would date women with kids but want no part in the kids live sounds stupid af to me...
FTR my step daughter has NEVER called me dad nor would I want her to. But I am father that has fed and clothed and supported her.
We are friends....and all serious disapline is left down to her mother. If I feel she needs telling something, I talk to her mother and she deals with it. Whereas my kids, I lay the smack down.
CP203;8082026 said:
You are getting caught up in the behaviors and not the reasoning that drives them.
If you are constantly doing excessive things soley to impress a woman that don't give a shit about you (eg - buying her things or taking care of her children) that shit is lame.
On the other hand, if you do things, well within your means and personal standards, out of mutual love and respect - that's what you should do for someone you care about.
Who is to say a wealthy dude can't buy the woman he loves nice things?
Who is to say a dude in love with a woman can't take care of her kids?
Peace_79;8082063 said:
bruh i get your point, but what I'm saying just search through some threads here about dudes buying women they love things and see how niggas respond without knowing if its in his means or not,and he's doing it out of love but he's all types of sucker blah blah, but ohhh i love you so much i'll raise another mans kids is cool, shit must be two sides or a different love
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A$AP_A$TON
New member
S2J;8081379 said:A$AP_A$TON;8081153 said:
Man, what? Lls
Oh this guy's good
"So, so yall support bill cosby....but man man cant get a father figure!!?"
Na I'm just saying if you somebody in a certain community how can you care about one issue plaguing it but nfg about another.
I can understand feeling like one is a higher priority than another, but to disregard it all together is counter productive to me.
shit happens
New member
DarcSkies;8081410 said:
Shit yeen neva seen dat ass stand up in some mom jeans huh
a g just witnessed this for the first time bout fo-fi days ago ain't eem much thank it was possible bro
A$AP_A$TON;8082099 said:S2J;8081379 said:A$AP_A$TON;8081153 said:
Man, what? Lls
Oh this guy's good
"So, so yall support bill cosby....but man man cant get a father figure!!?"
Na I'm just saying if you somebody in a certain community how can you care about one issue plaguing it but nfg about another.
I can understand feeling like one is a higher priority than another, but to disregard it all together is counter productive to me.
Because the 2 are not mutually exclusive. They literally have nothing to do with one another
See thats these new rules fukin yall head up. People don't even get married but wanna play house. Unles you lawfully wed that woman that is NOT YOUR CHILD or responsibility .
Look at @kat situation, respectfully . Lets say he fuked up, she leaves the dude thats been playing house and being that "father figure"...Now what? Its not like a marriage where even in divorce there's joint custody. Nah, old boy literally has no reason to be there. But the child knows him soooo...Yea, its a clusterfuck. Not just kat but any situation where a dude calls himsrlf 'helping out' or being a "real----ngga" *lux voice*
My situation is a bit different. Seeing as my household is comprised of 9 children. His, Mine and Ours.
My current husband and I dated for a year prior to me ever allowing him to even see my children let alone establish a
relationship. And that time frame was forced upon me due to him (my husband) growing insecure. I did not want my children/daughter under the impression that it was cool to have men in and out of the home.
I also, allowed their father to meet my now husband, Prior to him meeting my children out of respect. Having another man in your child's life can be nerve wrecking for a man "especially" when you have daughters.
My hubby's children lived in another state and were being kept from him at the time, so we didn't have the dating w/children issue most speak of.
However, the drama with his BM and children ensued fairly quickly once he and I married and we started demanding his rights to his children as their father.
To this day, we still deal with issues over that way, and we moved to TX to be closer to them. :-(
I have been the sole provider for the household for many years for many reasons. Is it difficult taking care of 11 people? yes... but if he and I were to separate this very day... would I continue to support "his" bio children, My step-children.
I can say yes.... and it may actually happen for a short period of time, but I doubt their mother would allow it. She despises me and only allows for them to stay here because of their father. Even though she lives in a hotel, she tried to fight for them to not come down and live with us.. Just drama.
My current husband and I dated for a year prior to me ever allowing him to even see my children let alone establish a
relationship. And that time frame was forced upon me due to him (my husband) growing insecure. I did not want my children/daughter under the impression that it was cool to have men in and out of the home.
I also, allowed their father to meet my now husband, Prior to him meeting my children out of respect. Having another man in your child's life can be nerve wrecking for a man "especially" when you have daughters.
My hubby's children lived in another state and were being kept from him at the time, so we didn't have the dating w/children issue most speak of.
However, the drama with his BM and children ensued fairly quickly once he and I married and we started demanding his rights to his children as their father.
To this day, we still deal with issues over that way, and we moved to TX to be closer to them. :-(
I have been the sole provider for the household for many years for many reasons. Is it difficult taking care of 11 people? yes... but if he and I were to separate this very day... would I continue to support "his" bio children, My step-children.
I can say yes.... and it may actually happen for a short period of time, but I doubt their mother would allow it. She despises me and only allows for them to stay here because of their father. Even though she lives in a hotel, she tried to fight for them to not come down and live with us.. Just drama.
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S2J;8082227 said:A$AP_A$TON;8082099 said:S2J;8081379 said:A$AP_A$TON;8081153 said:
Man, what? Lls
Oh this guy's good
"So, so yall support bill cosby....but man man cant get a father figure!!?"
Na I'm just saying if you somebody in a certain community how can you care about one issue plaguing it but nfg about another.
I can understand feeling like one is a higher priority than another, but to disregard it all together is counter productive to me.
Because the 2 are not mutually exclusive. They literally have nothing to do with one another
See thats these new rules fukin yall head up. People don't even get married but wanna play house. Unles you lawfully wed that woman that is NOT YOUR CHILD or responsibility .
Look at @kat situation, respectfully . Lets say he fuked up, she leaves the dude thats been playing house and being that "father figure"...Now what? Its not like a marriage where even in divorce there's joint custody. Nah, old boy literally has no reason to be there. But the child knows him soooo...Yea, its a clusterfuck. Not just kat but any situation where a dude calls himsrlf 'helping out' or being a "real----ngga" *lux voice*
A lot of valid stuff here. I will respectfully decline to comment on Kat's situation.
Marriage is something i didn't mention - although it is a given component in the scenario I was describing.
But, I would counter your statement with the following:
People can drift apart regardless of the semantics of the situation - whether they have children together, whether they are married, or whether one is a step parent Etc. It sucks regardless of these factors. Life is a gamble - anything can happen. The potential for bad things to happen shouldn't govern your decisions. This doesn't mean you should make unwise decisions or ignore the potential risk and your tolerance for it.
The core of my argument is whether or not you truly love the woman and the feeling is mutual. Everything that surrounds It fades into the background. For me that is overwhelmingly what I would base the decision on.
The appropriate execution and the potential fall out from that decision is a separate conversation.
Just me though.
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