Fair or Foul: Women Anonymously Discuss Regretting Having Their Children and Becoming Single Mothers

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Kat;9109536 said:
CeLLaR-DooR;9109165 said:
lol @ "Bein' a single mother isn't for everyone" its not for anyone fam. Even if you don't struggle with money, its a lonely existence

Is it? So you can't feel fulfilled without a man?

You can't be surrounded by friends and family and your child and feel whole?

I think that statement is a bit general.

Being a single parent is hard, but so are plenty of things in life.

You need a dick to do everything or you're worthless on the IC.

I'm sure none of these niggas were raised by single mothers though.
 
The Lonious Monk;9109528 said:
Westie;9109474 said:
zzombie;9109332 said:
Having children is not really as stressful as some people make it out to be as long as you can a decent job children are not that stressful

If you think that you're a shitty parent.

I think it's different for women than men. I wouldn't say being a parent isn't stressful, but I've noticed my wife tends to stress more and over more things than me. That's why you need two parents because both ways of going about things have merit.

Need is subjective. Ideally two parents are great but that's not everyone's reality. There are a lot of things in this world you do to the best of your ability regardless of your circumstances, and you can still do them well. Single motherhood and fatherhood is one of those things.
 
Sometimes you pick the hand, and sometimes you're given the hand. Either way u gotta play it. Regrets will destroy you if you allow them. Do this thread with women in these same situations who had the children aborted and the OP will probably be longer.
 
_Lefty;9109574 said:
Sometimes you pick the hand, and sometimes you're given the hand. Either way u gotta play it. Regrets will destroy you if you allow them. Do this thread with women in these same situations who had the children aborted and the OP will probably be longer.

Truth.com
 
And real talk, it dont sound like a lot of these women mad at the children, they mad they picked the wrong nigga. Kids aint have shit to do with that. Like it or not, that emotional wall aint that high, and daughters especially will feel that energy thats being carried. Something really wrong with that, but life is life. I respect their struggle. I just wish it wasnt like that.
 
Westie;9109319 said:
CeLLaR-DooR;9109165 said:
lol @ "Bein' a single mother isn't for everyone" its not for anyone fam. Even if you don't struggle with money, its a lonely existence

A single mother is an unmarried mother so are we talking about single mothers who have no father for their children and no family and no friends? Because yes I can see that being a lonely existence. otherwise it's just fucking hard if you have those things, some or all.

By single mother, I mean mother who doesn't live with her partner or isn't in a committed relationship with the child's father or a step father.

Kat;9109536 said:
CeLLaR-DooR;9109165 said:
lol @ "Bein' a single mother isn't for everyone" its not for anyone fam. Even if you don't struggle with money, its a lonely existence

Is it? So you can't feel fulfilled without a man?

You can't be surrounded by friends and family and your child and feel whole?

I think that statement is a bit general.

Being a single parent is hard, but so are plenty of things in life.

It may be a general statement but its generally true. I never said you can't be fulfilled without a man. There are many ways to lead a full life without gettin' married or bein' in a long term relationship. This is about actual day to day life though. Its cool when your mum is nice and visits a lot and helps out and your friends come over every now and then to take the kid out and babysit so you can try get back out there but most days from after you wake up early to take the pitny dem to school, you're alone until they get back. Then when they do get back you can't have real conversations with them. I kno' parents all think their kids are smart and mature but its not the same as talkin' to an adult. After bed time its the same shit.

You could even have a job and a decent social life (rare) but still a child is a burden and if you have to suffer it alone, you're gonna be lonely.

Personally though, no sympathy from me man how you gettin' finessed into havin' a child? We all kno' men ain't a damn thing. The ones whose guys left after like 4 years though wooooo dirty.
 
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Its cool when your child finally becomes old enough to have a proper conversation with though. I kno' a lotta people who are like best friends with their mums, who tend to be quite youngish
 
no poll!?

i feel its fair..

alot of females feel this way but are shamed into puttin up the facade of bein happy..

i feel it does other females a disservice..

own up to ur mistake.. let others see and hopefully they can learn from it.. but parading around as if uv accomplished somethin gives others a false perception to a harsh reality..

kids can be a blessing as well as a curse depended on ur readiness for them..
 
CeLLaR-DooR;9109583 said:
Westie;9109319 said:
CeLLaR-DooR;9109165 said:
lol @ "Bein' a single mother isn't for everyone" its not for anyone fam. Even if you don't struggle with money, its a lonely existence

A single mother is an unmarried mother so are we talking about single mothers who have no father for their children and no family and no friends? Because yes I can see that being a lonely existence. otherwise it's just fucking hard if you have those things, some or all.

By single mother, I mean mother who doesn't live with her partner or isn't in a committed relationship with the child's father or a step father.

So you can have a very functional co-parenting relationship, family and friends and lots of love around the child and the mother but it's the lonely simply because you're not fucking the father of your child? That's what you think?
 
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BOSSExcellence;9109591 said:
no poll!?

i feel its fair..

alot of females feel this way but are shamed into puttin up the facade of bein happy..

i feel it does other females a disservice..

own up to ur mistake.. let others see and hopefully they can learn from it.. but parading around as if uv accomplished somethin gives others a false perception to a harsh reality..

kids can be a blessing as well as a curse depended on ur readiness for them..

I agree with this to an extent. It's one thing to blog about this or say shit like this online, or to other mothers. But it's another to let your child know you view them as a mistake. That shit needs to be kept to yourself that's a horrible thing for a kid to feel although on some level they emit those vibes I'm sure.
 
Westie;9109600 said:
BOSSExcellence;9109591 said:
no poll!?

i feel its fair..

alot of females feel this way but are shamed into puttin up the facade of bein happy..

i feel it does other females a disservice..

own up to ur mistake.. let others see and hopefully they can learn from it.. but parading around as if uv accomplished somethin gives others a false perception to a harsh reality..

kids can be a blessing as well as a curse depended on ur readiness for them..

I agree with this to an extent. It's one thing to blog about this or say shit like this online, or to other mothers. But it's another to let your child know you view them as a mistake. That shit needs to be kept to yourself that's a horrible thing for a kid to feel although on some level they emit those vibes I'm sure.

kids pick up on everything..

i wasnt meanin it as tellin the kids tho.. i meant it as the other females around them..

nah.. the kid here.. u gotta ride that shit out and do the best u can for that person who didnt ask to be here..

but even so as that child gets older no harm in bein honest.. my mom made it clear she loved me but wish she wouldve waited to have me..

how can me as her child havin to grow up as her child not understand that as an adult??

that honesty along wit my experience is major reasons for me waiting to have my child.. she did me a great service.
 
Women have to be better judge of characters...there are always signs that a nigga ain't shit.....

Anyway use contraceptives til ur ready and this wouldn't happen
 
Westie;9109577 said:
Rasta.;9109570 said:
Spoken like a truly emotionally and physically battered single mom

My children have a dad though... And again point out your specific issues with my post since all you do is talk shit and it's always uncalled for and random.

@Westie It just so happens that i hit post comment same time you posted....it wasn't meant for you at all.
 
Rasta.;9109612 said:
Westie;9109577 said:
Rasta.;9109570 said:
Spoken like a truly emotionally and physically battered single mom

My children have a dad though... And again point out your specific issues with my post since all you do is talk shit and it's always uncalled for and random.

@Westie It just so happens that i hit post comment same time you posted....it wasn't meant for you at all.

My bad sorry
 
I wonder if women would choose to let higher quality men impregnate them if they didn't have the welfare state fall back on them.

I've always looked at child support as paying not to have to be with a nag.
 
I'm in my mid thirties and don't have any kids. I'm of the firm belief you need to have a great foundation first before you bring life into this world. I see too many uneducated, poor finances, shitty relationship,etc people having kids and making their lives ten times harder than it needs to be. My parents had a college education, career, and good finances before having me and i will continue on the tradition.

You're twenties should be your living and setting your foundation years because when you have kids or get married it's over.

 

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