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Mdizzle9000
New member
yo whats that part in the bible when them 2 hoes from sodom trynna smash they own daddy?
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fiat_money
New member
"And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them" - 2 Kings 2:23-24
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DaFifthElement
New member
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=(haute;2033248 said:lmaoooo
darc you aint shit
But I tryz 2 be shitz
the fuck? LOLmdizzle9000;2033267 said:yo whats that part in the bible when them 2 hoes from sodom trynna smash they own daddy?
Translation: An old head was minding his own damn business just walking to Bethel and some lil bad ass kids start clowning him about his hair loss and shit. So dude was like, "Fuck yall niggas in the Name of Jesus."fiat_money;2033288 said:"And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them" - 2 Kings 2:23-24
Then some bears came out of nowhere and ate them.
lolConflict210;2033315 said:going to hell thread
lol I stopped reading cuz its one of those things where if u get caught up u stay caught up.DaFifthElement;2033490 said:u should check out www.lolcatbible.com
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The Prime Minister
New member
From the book of Genesis
1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God
created he him; male and female created he them.
And later...
2:07 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and
breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became
a living soul.
2:08 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there
he put the man whom he had formed.
SMH at thinking Genesis says that Adam was the first human being....
ETHER
1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God
created he him; male and female created he them.
And later...
2:07 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and
breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became
a living soul.
2:08 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there
he put the man whom he had formed.
SMH at thinking Genesis says that Adam was the first human being....
ETHER
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Tommy bilfiger;2033091 said:The bible is nothin but a 37,000 paged book wit aesop fables and lies written by white people
Written by Blacks, edited by whites. Like Rock and Roll.
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Translation: God took a picture of himself. Put it in his heavenly scanner and printed out two copies of HIM, he touched the images and brought them to life. He punched one in the dick so hard it made a pussy.The Prime Minister;2033593 said:From the book of Genesis
1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God
created he him; male and female created he them.
And thats how the shit went down.
Translation: Wait...actually that's not what happened. He was actually playing in the dirt, got bored and made a pile of dust and called them man and woman.And later...
2:07 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and
breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became
a living soul.
He then gave them CPR through the nostrils and the pile of dust grew skin and started walking around wondering wtf was going on.
Translation: ...then he was like. Yall need to eat your vegatables and shit so u can grow up strong like ya daddy.2:08 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there
he put the man whom he had formed.
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jackthemack
New member
This is a classic thread
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DaFifthElement
New member
Darxwell;2033574 said:=(
the fuck? LOL
He's talking about Genesis 19:
"30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”
33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.
34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.
36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab[g]; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi[h]; he is the father of the Ammonites of today."
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MAKAVELI25
New member
Darxwell;2033081 said:Fuck that, I'm sick of these Canaanite niggas word up! We Jews nigga we go hard in the paint somebody gotta step the fuck up!
I dont give a fuck if they cripple & blind homie first nigga mash on them niggas gettin a promotion. That's on my Father who art in heaven. Halo tipped be thy name.
LMFAO, This nigga got skills (n/h)
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Translation: So Lot was like, "pack your shit yall we moving to the mountains niggas is crazy out here yo." His daughters decided to act out an incest story from the fetish section of sexstories.com cuz they lived on the set of the Oprah Show, not a man in sight."30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”
Translation: Nasty bitches got him leanin off dat drank and he aint know wtf was going on.33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.
Translation: They did that shit again. Only this time the nasty bastard PRETENDED he didnt know what was going on.34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.
36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab[g]; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi[h]; he is the father of the Ammonites of today."
Translation: He got both them hoes pregnant on some Lil Wayne shit and they both gave their children fucked up names. So if you a decendent of the Ammonites or the Moabites you inbred like a muthafukka and got 2000 years worth of extra chromosomes to account for.
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Matthew 21:12-13
And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, and said unto them, It is written, my house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves
And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, and said unto them, It is written, my house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves
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fiat_money
New member
Did this nigga Jacob literally wrestle with "God"?
Dudes just randomly wrestled each other for hours on end back in the day?Genesis Chapter 32 said:24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”
“Jacob,” he answered.
28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”
29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.
30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”
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Translation: Jesus walked up in the church and niggas was actin like they aint had no home trainin, gambling and carrying on so he just straight Martin Payne'd them niggas like, "Yall gone have to GTFO wit all that ol' bullshit...I dont even live here this is my 'Father's' house but ya'll niggas in here actin like this is muthafukkin Magic City wit slot machines."haute;2034254 said:Matthew 21:12-13
And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, and said unto them, It is written, my house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves
Translation: God reminded Jacob his arms were too short to box with him. Jacob then informed the Lord, "I aint stupid nigga we aint boxing we wrestling" u owe a nigga a favor. Run that blessin homie or u aint gettin out this headlock.24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
Translation: Who the fuck iz u nigga talking to me like that? What cho name is nigga? Ja--Jake? The fuc--- JACOB?!?27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”
“Jacob,” he answered.
Translation: Thats wack yo...change that shit to Israel. U been through sum bullshit in your life & word to Antoine Fisher u still standing! U still here!28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”
Translation: So what's your name then?29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
Translation: Fuck u need my government for homie? U dont know me like dat? Lemme go head and bless u right quickBut he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.
Translation: God blessed his "Peniel" (no holy homo) and didnt even kill my nigga afterward.30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”
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soul rattler
New member
fiat_money;2034263 said:Did this nigga Jacob literally wrestle with "God"?Dudes just randomly wrestled each other for hours on end back in the day?
Apparently he did wrestle with "God"... and whooped his ass too.
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Darxwell;2035817 said:Translation: Jesus walked up in the church and niggas was actin like they aint had no home trainin, gambling and carrying on so he just straight Martin Payne'd them niggas like, "Yall gone have to GTFO wit all that ol' bullshit...I dont even live here this is my 'Father's' house but ya'll niggas in here actin like this is muthafukkin Magic City wit slot machines."
Translation: God reminded Jacob his arms were too short to box with him. Jacob then informed the Lord, "I aint stupid nigga we aint boxing we wrestling" u owe a nigga a favor. Run that blessin homie or u aint gettin out this headlock.
Translation: Who the fuck iz u nigga talking to me like that? What cho name is nigga? Ja--Jake? The fuc--- JACOB?!?
Translation: Thats wack yo...change that shit to Israel. U been through sum bullshit in your life & word to Antoine Fisher u still standing! U still here!
Translation: So what's your name then?Translation: Fuck u need my government for homie? U dont know me like dat? Lemme go head and bless u right quick
Translation: God blessed his "Peniel" (no holy homo) and didnt even kill my nigga afterward.
lmao.........
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and wasted time making a thread about it, when here was the place to be
I Corinthians 14: 34-37:
34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church
I Corinthians 14: 34-37:
34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church
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