Spinoff: Reward and Praise system.....is it good for kids?

[jono]

People tend to feel better about doing things when it comes coupled with complements and positive feedback.

It's been proven through research that after certain a point pay is not enough of a reward for people. One of reward they look for come in acknowledgement.

Kids aren't much different. You don't have to throw a party, nor do you have to do it every time but simple courtesies like thank yous and pats on the back can go a long way in building self-esteem, motivation, and commitment.

 

[Kwan Dai]

Of course we should reward our children for doing what they are supposed to do and also reward them when they go above beyond.

I find it quite odd that you have parents\guardians that will reward their children on irrelevant\fake holidays but not for doing well in areas that will enhance their personal lives.

I am confused.

"we as adults get paid for doing work...so is it not a type of reward? would we not get fired for doing piss poor?"

Yes, pay is a type of reward. And yes we probably would be fired. But I thought we were discussing kids that do well and reward them accordingly. Not kids that are doing piss poor yet, are being rewarded.

 

[AZTG]

The reward system works for any person, not just kids.

Find something a girl does, an action, act etc., and comment on it directly and tell her you appreciate it, and you will have her eating out of your hands.

Humans are very easy to manipulate. This is one of the best ways to do so.

 

[CapitalB]

kids dont know any better..

they didnt ask to be here.. and upon arrival dont know what to do either..

its on us as parents to guide them and set them on the right path.. and if that means rewarding them then thats what we're suppose to do..

 

[twenty2]

As with anything, it's all about balance. Rewarding them everytime...they become "entitled". Rewarding them never...they become "disheartened".

I think we should acknowledge "it" everytime, or damn near, and reward "it" often. And "reward" don't have to come in the form of a TAH DAAAH grand prize gesture everytime either. My kids know, them phones, video games, sports and all that other shit I let 'em have and do count as rewards too. You fuck up or fuck off, that shit will be snatched!

Another way to look at it... Train 'em like you train dogs! Give 'em treats just enough so they never know when they comin! That way they learn and wanna do good everytime......cuz it just might be the time they get some bacon!!! LMAO!!!

 

[So ILL]

My kids are going to think I'm a total asshole, because I'm not giving extra rewards on shit like getting good grades when they're living in my house for free lol. Nigga, you're supposed to keep your grades up and do chores. Good job, little nigga, keep it up. I might reward them occasionally if they're on their shit, but not too much because they'll start expecting shit. I'll always try to be encouraging and positive, though, I can't be one of those parents that shits on their kid.

 

[leftcoastkev]

Yes it's how you engineer society (in mass and within your own family) to your liking and for progress.

You don't reward children for everything they do to the point where they become spoiled, but you do reward them for going beyond and/or consistent efforts. If they develop a "you owe me" attitude, you check that early and often if need be.

If there are no rewards most ppl will do the bare minimum. People who have the drive to be high achievers will eventually become disheartened and do the bare minimum. You may stunt their potential.

This includes children....

If they do things you're guiding them to do with the mind set of they do it because they supposed to do it, eventually they will ask what are they supposed to do it for (the end game)...and that (in their young mind) may not be worth their time and seek out an alternative (possibly destructive) outlet where there is a reward system.

What if there are no external/outside of the home reward systems for acknowledging and rewarding your child for their efforts? No honor roll, no trophy, no "good job" from teachers and coaches, the rest of their world looks at your child and just *shrugs* em off.

 

[HundredEyes]

Im #teamreward aswell but honestly dont know how to implement it yet but guess time will tell...

My son is only 9 months old but gets happy and hyped as hell when he sits up by himself/crawling/does something new for the first time and we cheerlead his azz. All the little amazing things he does, we answer it with positive energy...

 

[uncle gunnysack]

I wasn't raised with a reward system & nether was my children

 

[blacktux]

Its how any hierarchy works. Or even a sub/dom relationship. If you are going to punish for "bad" behavior; you have to reward for "good" behavior. Else the lessers in the system wont behave properly.

 

[twentyfivelighters]

Positive reinforcement >>>>>>> negative reinforcement >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> positive/negative punishment

In all cases.

 

[Shuffington]

I guess by reward.. i was thinking that you meant ...getting the kid a gift for every time they made their bed or took out the trash. That type of reward for completion of a domestic chore would seem to be foolish imo.

but I agree, positive reinforcement is important.

and if you want a kid to make improvements in areas that need work.... you definitely reward them when they accomplish a goal in an area that they were lacking in.

 

[T. Sanford]

I never give my little 9 year old nephew props. He'll say "Sanford, I made the star roll". Then I'll reply "anybody can do that".