My cuzo is beefing with me now.
So on the 20th, my electric bill reached the end of the grace period. I'd usually due on the 14 and my roommate is always punctual with these things. WELL, I went to the electric company and paid the entire balance, including any late fees.
The nigga knocks on my door on the 23rd and says, "what time does the light company close?" I'm like "nigga, they probably not open today. But you shouldn't have to pay anything because I took care of the balance already."
"But I didn't pay my half" he says.
"Well, Merry Christmas my nigga."
The nigga didn't even say thanks. I saved him at least $40.
He just closed the door like ok.
So now, a day later I'm hot. And I'm really thinking about all the things I've done for this nigga, and how he'd never lift a finger for me. I remembered walk to work, and using Uber while my car was down. I remember how this hypocrite nigga harbored a fugitive for weeks before telling me.
So, I caught Pikachu on her way to the bathroom Christmas Eve. My cuzo was already at work, and I was about to dip to work as well. I say,
"Time to see if my nigga is a real nigga. Text your man. Tell him Irah wants a beer for Christmas. Tell him I want a cold one. Don't tell him why."
It's not about the beer at all. The point is to see if he still my nigga, even on Christmas. Cuz he's been igging me for months, but cow-tailing to ol girl. If he doesn't get me this $2 beer as a sign of gratitude, then I'm done with him. And if this girl was smart, she'd know the future of her living situation is about to be centered entirely around a cold Bud Light.
So I went to work.... Then I caught up with my lady friend. Came back home around 2:30.
This nigga confronts me 3:AM like, "So now you're talking to me girl?" I thought he meant flirting, so I said "What you mean?"
"Look, don't talk to her ever again!
OK, so, did you get the beer?
She told me about it when I got here.
I told her to text you. (*women love starting drama*)
Well, she said you were trippin on me showing gratitude.
I found out about her! What if our landlord found out about her?!?
Well, we're planning on moving out this January.
He fell in love with a runner.... On Christmas Eve.
On some Judge Mathis shit, we all know you can't just dip on your roommate on a week's notice. His departure doesn't change my rent, knawmsayin? So I went to my dads place and had a chat with him. Here's the audio, and his commentary. He's willing to bet she leaves him for the abusive ex. And it's not really a video about electronics.
Father Geechee chimes in @ 2:00.
I'm deleting it soon because y'all might fuck around and know me in real life.
