scumbag!

[Knock_Twice]

you aint did nothing til you lied to a chick about flying out to Seattle to shoot a commercial for colgate

Bruh, smh

*tears*

 

[Dupac]

you aint did nothing til you lied to a chick about flying out to Seattle to shoot a commercial for colgate

Bruh, smh

*tears*

yo you the most underrated story teller on here.....

i know you got some fire to drop....

 

[AP21]

you aint did nothing til you lied to a chick about flying out to Seattle to shoot a commercial for colgate

Bruh, smh

*tears*

yo you the most underrated story teller on here.....

i know you got some fire to drop....

on some real shit...he was right next to me when i said it

it was a chick we went to high school with.

she was like, "what ya'll been up to"

I said, "shiiid, me and Knock Twice bout to head to seattle to shoot a commercial for colgate"

her: ya'll doin it big then huh

we actually ran back into her a few months later at a club in BR

her: how did the commercial go? When will it start coming on tv. I wanna see how ya'll did

me: ahh shit...its in post production right now, but its a regional thing, so i dont think its gon air down here

and we proceeded to walk clean the fuck off

 

[Knock_Twice]

you aint did nothing til you lied to a chick about flying out to Seattle to shoot a commercial for colgate

Bruh, smh

*tears*

yo you the most underrated story teller on here.....

i know you got some fire to drop....

I aint got nothing folk Lol..

 

[Rasta.]

you aint did nothing til you lied to a chick about flying out to Seattle to shoot a commercial for colgate

Bruh, smh

*tears*

yo you the most underrated story teller on here.....

i know you got some fire to drop....

I aint got nothing folk Lol..

Don't lie to the ic folk, folk....you and ya bro be lining em up

 

[Knock_Twice]

you aint did nothing til you lied to a chick about flying out to Seattle to shoot a commercial for colgate

Bruh, smh

*tears*

yo you the most underrated story teller on here.....

i know you got some fire to drop....

I aint got nothing folk Lol..

Don't lie to the ic folk, folk....you and ya bro be lining em up

sholl the fuck do smh...lol...

 

[Knock_Twice]

you aint did nothing til you lied to a chick about flying out to Seattle to shoot a commercial for colgate

Bruh, smh

*tears*

yo you the most underrated story teller on here.....

i know you got some fire to drop....

on some real shit...he was right next to me when i said it

it was a chick we went to high school with.

she was like, "what ya'll been up to"

I said, "shiiid, me and Knock Twice bout to head to seattle to shoot a commercial for colgate"

her: ya'll doin it big then huh

we actually ran back into her a few months later at a club in BR

her: how did the commercial go? When will it start coming on tv. I wanna see how ya'll did

me: ahh shit...its in post production right now, but its a regional thing, so i dont think its gon air down here

and we proceeded to walk clean the fuck off

I'm over in the corner in tears crying laughing...nigga telling this hoe this shit wit a str8 face and she eating that shit all the way up..eyes bucked and everything smh

boy you aint shit lol

 

[AP21]

knock twice just reminded me of a real effed up scumbag story

I dont remember all the details from this one. I'ma have to call my other homeboy who I was with when it happened, but lets just say it involves some thots, tacos, nutsacks and asscracks

 

[BeardedFreak]

Was fucking with a chick who was deep into BDSM a couple years ago.

One night at her crib, I had her tied up and suspended from the shower rod. I told her I was going discipline her for talking shit and Kiking wit her friends all day. I went into the bedroom like I was going to grab a whip.

I calmly put back on my clothes and left. Went to the club and turn up. Came back a few hours later and she was still tied up sleeping. So of course, I got naked, slipped in behind her…and stabbed her asshole with no lube.

The whole time I kept yelling, "u goin learn today" bc I had just watched that Kevin hart shit

 

[Sex-Is-A-CONUNDRUM]

I fucked my girl twin sister and told her that I didn't know it wasn't her.

I did, cause her sister don't have that birthmark on dat ass.

She aint spoke to her sister since and we aint even fucking around no more. That was like 5 years ago.

 

[Bussy_Getta]

Lmfaoooo that's why I won't muthafuckas tie me up

 

[Idiopathic Joker]

I think I got a kid in Colorado, but that's a whole other thread

 

[Sex-Is-A-CONUNDRUM]

Ya'll ready need a SMH button in this bitch.

 

[blatalian]

aight...i told this story already so i'll just give the cliff notes

was smashing this chick in college then once i left, she wanted to come to BR to get smashed again

she drove like 45min-1hr to get to BR

that whole week she had been talking about how bad she wanted to get long dicked or whatever

finally came, gave her a solid 2 rounds, then hit that ol "my boy called to say our other boy was in a wreck and was being rushed to ICU" story

she was like "oh damn, go see about your friend"

we both leave the apt, get in our cars, then i act like i "forgot my wallet"

went back upstairs, turned on the xbox and played I believe Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2

She ends up texting me a few weeks later talking about she felt kinda played. Im thinking she wanted nothing to do with me afterwards...WRONG

She calls back a few more weeks after that saying she wanted to come back to BR, but this time she was getting a room

smart girl

Here I was thinking that shit was original lol...I stayed using that shit...pulled tha same shit wit' this broad once. Smashed and needed her to go cuz my MVP freak was on her way over so I hit her wit' tha' "My brother just got in a wreck and is at tha hospital! I gotta go check on him." She says "I thought you told me you were tha only boy and you had 3 sisters!" Lol...I was sooo high I forgot I just told this chick that like 2 hours before lmao...

Shit caught me so off guard I did tha only thing a nigga could do...I flipped on that broad..."BITCH! YOU WORRYING ABOUT THA WRONG SHIT!! I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS!! YOU GOTTA GO!"

She was wack in bed anyway...

 

[kingofkingz]

Yeah man a lot of niggas do that shit too bitches...

I did that shit to some bitch i met off pof & fucked the 1st night.. she was fat & ugly so i ain't give a fuck about her feeling played nshit

But I was trying to get outta a dry spell is the only reason I smashed

 

[Delphas]

I was fucking with this bitch for like a week. Staying in a hotel with her. Only leaving to get food and dope. So, on the 6th day I wake up and this bitch is gone. Str8 ghost. Not only her, but my few bags are gone too. Lucky I slept with my money in my pocket.

So like 2-3 days go by and this bitch call me crying. Like I'm so sorry, I'm sick. I just need 2 bags and a needle. I tell her to meet me at the McDonald's. In my head, I'm like fuck this bitch, I'm fucking her (not literally)

So we meet up at the McDonald's and walk the 5min to my boys hut, which is under a bridge. Cause I know he has hep-c and I want this hoe to get that shit. So she mix her shit up and bang out with his needle. As soon as she take it out her arm, I start lmao and tell her about the needle. My homie start nodding his head saying it's true. She start balling again. Me and my homie dip off and leave her under the bridge. Never heard from her again.

It's her fault though. She shouldn't of beat me.

 

[K_Fisher]

Then there was this dude ..he would go to this popular spot out in the middle of nowhere.At end of the night, he'd Let tipsy/drunk barely legals jump in his car for a ride back into the City.On the drive back he would pull up on the side of a dark stretch of serial killer friendly country road , turn to the girl/s and say " It looks like a lovely night to take a stroll. You know this ride ain't free right? Gas or ass..what's it gonna be?" Success rate was 90 percent.

 

[K_Fisher]

Cat lovers look away right now..

So I had this neighbour called Beatrice in my old place .She had this fat furry cunt of a cat.That bastard used to sit at the end of her driveway,watch me as I drove off then soon as was gone would take a shit in the flower patch on my front lawn.I complained to the old cow a few times but she hit me with the ol "Cats will be cats" shit.One evening after a few glasses of whiskey, I sprinkled a mix of cayenne pepper and something else (can't remember)Anyway my lawn was cat shit free after that.Later that week at the neighbourhood meeting, I was wondering why Beatrice was a no show cos she was normally most enthusiastic person about this meets..other woman goes "She has been stressed out lately.Her cat got a nasty bladder infection. It hurts so much when he pees that he lies on his back after and howls" I nearly choked on my tea.

 

[StillFaggyAF]

*sighs*

Told this story before so I'll give a quik recap...

- f@@@'ng wit ex-coworker

- went by her crib

- smashed on the arm part of her living room couch

- her man walked in as I was pullin out

- they get into arguement

- sat and watched wit no f@@@s given. pants unbuckled

- she fed him some bs about how I was just coming out her bathroom, and why her robe was partially open

- he believed it

- walked out while buckling my pants, after gettin boring watchin them argue

- he calls my phone (via his girl's phone) talkin big talk on my vm on my way home

- Lol'd b/c he didn't do it while I was there face to face

- called back and told her to put him on the phone

- fed him the same bs she fed him

- he believed it...smh

- fell back from ole girl for a while

- hooked up again and smashed...while he was at work. Smh

I...HAVE...SCUMBAGGED!!

lmao this is one booty gif away from being a typical recap

 

[In Your Moms Room]

Cat lovers look away right now..

So I had this neighbour called Beatrice in my old place .She had this fat furry cunt of a cat.That bastard used to sit at the end of her driveway,watch me as I drove off then soon as was gone would take a shit in the flower patch on my front lawn.I complained to the old cow a few times but she hit me with the ol "Cats will be cats" shit.One evening after a few glasses of whiskey, I sprinkled a mix of cayenne pepper and something else (can't remember)Anyway my lawn was cat shit free after that.Later that week at the neighbourhood meeting, I was wondering why Beatrice was a no show cos she was normally most enthusiastic person about this meets..other woman goes "She has been stressed out lately.Her cat got a nasty bladder infection. It hurts so much when he pees that he lies on his back after and howls" I nearly choked on my tea.

High five bro