Let's talk mothers and child support

[deadeye]

@Kat‌

What's good honey?

nh

Your absence from this thread has been rather conspicuous.

"Cat" got your tongue?

Tell us how you feel about the subject matter Kathryn.

 

[mryounggun]

Let's talk joint custody for a minute. How does this work? Alternate weeks, months, weekends?

Here's how my shit works. And it works GREAT for us:

Assuming I've had him all weekend-

MON: I drop him off at daycare, she picks him up

TUES: She drops him off and picks him up

WED: She drops him off, I pick him up

THUR: I drop him off and pick him up

FRI:I drop him off and she picks him up

Then she has him all weekend and the next week, the shit is reversed. Shit works out because at the end of the year it works out to us both having him 50% of the time. We negotiate holidays, etc. She gets him most holidays, if she wants him, since she has family here and she cares about the holidays. I want him to spend time with his family and I usually volunteer to work on holidays since I don't really care about them.

Obviously we switch days whenever we need.

Goated. Do you play child support?

Fuck no. My ex ain't a bird.

 

[7figz]

Currently in this situation.

Wanted to talk it out w shorty and handle it ourselves but she spat that ' see you in Court...I need that bread'

For the sake of my son and our relationship I gotta handle biz...

She's not trying to be fair to me but I'll do my best to be fair to her

@LysolJenkins‌

If you don't wanna do her dirty, then just file for joint custody.

That way, neither one of you can be placed on child support.....provided both of you are considered custodial parents.

What you wanna do is noble, but the courts will hold it against you down the line if you ever run into hard times financially.

They tend to have a "fuck you, pay me" mentality.

you can still have to pay support even with shared physical custody.

Didn't know that.

I thought if it was 50/50 physical custody that neither could be forced to pay support.

That would be too logical and reasonable.

Just shows you how flawed the system is.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

Let's talk joint custody for a minute. How does this work? Alternate weeks, months, weekends?

Here's how my shit works. And it works GREAT for us:

Assuming I've had him all weekend-

MON: I drop him off at daycare, she picks him up

TUES: She drops him off and picks him up

WED: She drops him off, I pick him up

THUR: I drop him off and pick him up

FRI:I drop him off and she picks him up

Then she has him all weekend and the next week, the shit is reversed. Shit works out because at the end of the year it works out to us both having him 50% of the time. We negotiate holidays, etc. She gets him most holidays, if she wants him, since she has family here and she cares about the holidays. I want him to spend time with his family and I usually volunteer to work on holidays since I don't really care about them.

Obviously we switch days whenever we need.

Goated. Do you play child support?

Fuck no. My ex ain't a bird.

I know it wasn't directed towards me....but reading it hurt.

that's fukked up bruh

 

[a.mann]

So far no guy here has openly admitted to actually needing the financial support and contributions of their respective baby mommas

Basically use the child as pawn to enact their personal vengeance on the mother AND the courts that "favor" women over men.

So, it's vengeance to get a parent to do what their supposed to do?

Even if they'd do the same to you if the situation was reversed?

It's about accountability and principle more than anything.

/

 

[topoftheworld]

No amount of money can make a person be a responsible parent.

That's something they have to decide to be.

^this. @a.mann

Cuz get that paper! Keep applying pressure on her ass til yo seed turn 18. Would she give you a break if you asked for it ? Fucc no.

I already told my son when turns 18,.....I'm gonna cry. not becuz he's an adult but becuz I don't have to deal with his mother anymore

^possibly more damaging than his momma not kicking out the $ that you say you don't need.

you do realize he came from her just like he came from you? @pralims‌

we really have to do better in what we prioritize and how we communicate matters of self with our progeny.

Yeah but kids ain't as dumb as you think. Especially as he gets older he'll see his mother for who she really is. It's a shitty realization, but if she really is that bad of a mother the kid a. already knows and is hoping she'll change or b. will find out as he gets older and realizes how his views of women are shaped and what caused them. Saying he don't want to deal with his mother isn't a rejection of the kid, it's the rejection of the bullshit the mother puts you through in the process of raising said child.

but at what age, and how much damage has been created by then....

i gotta sister with a 19 year old son who's still far too immature to understand all the struggle she went through during his time on this planet....all he focuses on is the shit he doesn't have......

kids can be ungrateful as fuck when they're young....that shit'll hit him later, cuz at the core he's a good kid... but right now he's a dickhead posting this makes me wanna smack the shit outta him....

That's something that can only be determined on an individual basis based on how much of their mom's fucked up ways their exposed too. I grew up knowing my mom was fucked up, but that's because I had direct access to alot of her bullshit and got to see it for myself. I was forced to accept that reality and honestly I'm grateful til this day to my father for always being up front with me about the shit my mother was doing and going through. It's made me extremely aware of certain shit, especially when dealing with women and how to avoid certain emotional traps they set out, and I know had he kept that shit from me I'd have a real distorted view of things now. You can only hide the truth from your kids for but so long. They can always sense when some shit is fucked up between mom and dad whether the parents verbalize it or not.

point taken.

nature vs. nurture is considered too.

 

[Meta_Conscious]

I hate petty ppl... ppl who won't let a relationship die naturally.

in this case, she should have to kick money into a savings account for the kid like t/s is doing.

u don't have a child and then get to dip without any financial responsibility.

 

[Avenue Crazy]

Im against putting white folks in my business by all means. If taking care of her kid is not on list of priorities then learn to pick your woman better, especially if yoou better off then her.

 

[Trollio]

Let her mention child support and er go finally fill that hole in the backyard

 

[a.mann]

Does making a person do what their supposed to do honestly benefit the child

or only serves to make YOU feel better as you are holding them "accountable"?

 

[7figz]

I wouldn't have wanted child supported if the other parent didn't have it, or didn't want to pay. I figure it's my kid, it's my responsibility - can't use other people as a reason not to handle my biz.

That said, knowing now that my BM would be grimey and greedy and put a nigga on papers, might cause me to handle it differently.

 

[mryounggun]

Let's talk joint custody for a minute. How does this work? Alternate weeks, months, weekends?

Here's how my shit works. And it works GREAT for us:

Assuming I've had him all weekend-

MON: I drop him off at daycare, she picks him up

TUES: She drops him off and picks him up

WED: She drops him off, I pick him up

THUR: I drop him off and pick him up

FRI:I drop him off and she picks him up

Then she has him all weekend and the next week, the shit is reversed. Shit works out because at the end of the year it works out to us both having him 50% of the time. We negotiate holidays, etc. She gets him most holidays, if she wants him, since she has family here and she cares about the holidays. I want him to spend time with his family and I usually volunteer to work on holidays since I don't really care about them.

Obviously we switch days whenever we need.

Goated. Do you play child support?

Fuck no. My ex ain't a bird.

I know it wasn't directed towards me....but reading it hurt.

that's fukked up bruh

Naw you good, B. Seeking CS is only birdish if the person seeking it only has their child 50% of the time and the other parent has them the other 50%.

 

[bignorm]

Keep a nigga babies do exist, and once they are are had, they are never raised right by that parent.

 

[atribecalledgabi]

Why was I @'d?

 

[Dupac]

Keep a nigga babies do exist, and once they are are had, they are never raised right by that parent.

hol up.....

 

[Meta_Conscious]

Does making a person do what their supposed to do honestly benefit the child

or only serves to make YOU feel better as you are holding them "accountable"?

yes... money matters.

 

[daddysean]

Get paid partna, I sure as hell would I had my son for a year and didnt ask his mother for a dime. But soon as I sent him to live with her the bitch calls my Commander and said that I wasnt providing for them a month hadnt even passed before she done that. Believe me bruh she would jack you up if she was in your position

 

[a.mann]

Does making a person do what their supposed to do honestly benefit the child

or only serves to make YOU feel better as you are holding them "accountable"?

yes... money matters.

Not as much as making them pay

 

[Kwan Dai]

So, men are acting like women now and it's ok?

If, I had custody of my children I wouldn't ask their mothers for a dime. Let alone go after them for a dime. I suspect these men who have custody are in the same boat as these women. They too have come to rely on that extra paper and are in here fronting like they don't need it. If, you don't need the cash you don't sweat what some else has or doesn't have. There is no greater principal happening here because, the shoe is on the other foot.

 

[THOT PILGRIM]

I'm so glad I got over my fear of swallowing.

You niggas are really going thru it.