Let's talk mothers and child support

[blackrain]

Real shit, a lot of y'all niggas sound like bitches! Fuck outta here with the 'get all the bread you can', 'put your foot on her neck' bullshit. Y'all niggas is part of the reason that the child support system is fucked up now! T/S, calculate the REAL number that it costs to reasonable take care of the kid per month, then hit her for half of that. No more, no less.

Niggas in here sounded like scorned women. Shit is disgusting. If you just as petty, childish and money-hungry as a hoodrat bird broad, then niggas should stop complaining about them and start looking in the mirror.

The problem is the system is so skewed towards benefiting women is that when a guy does have the upper hand it's like a ground swell of support from other men to take out the years of fucked up shit on her. Niggas start picturing their own baby mothers and wishing they could have that same get back.

No amount of money can make a person be a responsible parent.

That's something they have to decide to be.

This is very true, but if it were followed there'd be alot less dead beat dads on child support too. That's just the flat out truth. So while I can't personally condone legally forcing a mother or father to be in their child's life, even if only financially, if we being equal about shit then ain't shit/dead beat moms need to be taken to task publicly just as often and severely as dead beat dads are. If the court system is the way to do it then so be it

 

[a.mann]

a lot of dude just don't want they kid.

its easier to send a check than to make cheese grits on a winter morning and making sure the meals are balanced an making sure them crumb snatchers are dressed right an doing they homework an meeting teachers an fake smiling other parents at the game.

Exactly.

If man or woman think that paying child support,WITHOUT actively participating in their child's life

makes them a "responsible" parent, they are out their gotdamn minds

 

[7figz]

I encourage all custodial parents to seek support unless you have a deal with the other parent.

Even so at least get custody set up so everyone has rights

I used to see a lot of men not want to file .... Maybe a pride thing

I would still tell them to open a college fund and put the support there if you don't want it

All parents should be financially responsible for their kids. No one should get a pass

Easy to say when you believe in the system, but many people (especially men) don't agree with the system.

It wouldn't be pride that stops me from getting child support, it would be if I didn't need it. And not putting my kid's relationship with their other parent in the hands of a shitty system.

Like you said tho, both parents should contribute, but child support would be a last resort.

Oh no doubt the system is flawed

I see and hear a lot of men say they don't need it. But honestly you can't be 100% sure. You can't predict the future . That's why I say put the money in a college fund or invest it. Your child will be glad you did . Who cares if the other parent deems it unfair or wrong

If a parent treats their child any different because they are ordered to support their child then fuck em . That's so over the top selfish it's disgusting.

There's more adverse affects to the family court / child support system than a parent just deciding to treat a child different because they gotta pay child support.

When they make a parent pay so much that they don't have money to keep a nice house or get anything (like gifts) for the kid, it's going to affect their relationship. And, why would I want to make the other parent so bitter that they can't enjoy their relationship with their kid ?

Or when they believe that the other parent should see their kid only every other weekend or some dumb shit like that.

Hell no, I wouldn't be rushing to involve the system. Ideally the system would be making all this shit better but it's biased and most women don't really give a fuck since it works out for them.

 

[HarlemThumzUp]

any nigga in here defendin that bullshit let me pour you a tall glass of drano w/bleach ice cubes

 

[topoftheworld]

No amount of money can make a person be a responsible parent.

That's something they have to decide to be.

^this. @a.mann

Cuz get that paper! Keep applying pressure on her ass til yo seed turn 18. Would she give you a break if you asked for it ? Fucc no.

I already told my son when turns 18,.....I'm gonna cry. not becuz he's an adult but becuz I don't have to deal with his mother anymore

^possibly more damaging than his momma not kicking out the $ that you say you don't need.

you do realize he came from her just like he came from you? @pralims‌

we really have to do better in what we prioritize and how we communicate matters of self with our progeny.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

Real shit, a lot of y'all niggas sound like bitches! Fuck outta here with the 'get all the bread you can', 'put your foot on her neck' bullshit. Y'all niggas is part of the reason that the child support system is fucked up now! T/S, calculate the REAL number that it costs to reasonable take care of the kid per month, then hit her for half of that. No more, no less.

Niggas in here sounded like scorned women. Shit is disgusting. If you just as petty, childish and money-hungry as a hoodrat bird broad, then niggas should stop complaining about them and start looking in the mirror.

with my relocation.....she can't afford half......but I think she should pay something. I already did what you suggested .....an she just don't make enough. but shiy

the court choose to review it an increase because she ain't really doing shit.

 

[mryounggun]

Let's talk joint custody for a minute. How does this work? Alternate weeks, months, weekends?

Here's how my shit works. And it works GREAT for us:

Assuming I've had him all weekend-

MON: I drop him off at daycare, she picks him up

TUES: She drops him off and picks him up

WED: She drops him off, I pick him up

THUR: I drop him off and pick him up

FRI:I drop him off and she picks him up

Then she has him all weekend and the next week, the shit is reversed. Shit works out because at the end of the year it works out to us both having him 50% of the time. We negotiate holidays, etc. She gets him most holidays, if she wants him, since she has family here and she cares about the holidays. I want him to spend time with his family and I usually volunteer to work on holidays since I don't really care about them.

Obviously we switch days whenever we need.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

No amount of money can make a person be a responsible parent.

That's something they have to decide to be.

^this. @a.mann

Cuz get that paper! Keep applying pressure on her ass til yo seed turn 18. Would she give you a break if you asked for it ? Fucc no.

I already told my son when turns 18,.....I'm gonna cry. not becuz he's an adult but becuz I don't have to deal with his mother anymore

^possibly more damaging than his momma not kicking out the $ that you say you don't need.

you do realize he came from her just like he came from you? @pralims‌

we really have to do better in what we prioritize and how we communicate matters of self with our progeny.

i hear you but I been thru a lot...

imma buy myself a cake an balloons on that day

 

[mryounggun]

Real shit, a lot of y'all niggas sound like bitches! Fuck outta here with the 'get all the bread you can', 'put your foot on her neck' bullshit. Y'all niggas is part of the reason that the child support system is fucked up now! T/S, calculate the REAL number that it costs to reasonable take care of the kid per month, then hit her for half of that. No more, no less.

Niggas in here sounded like scorned women. Shit is disgusting. If you just as petty, childish and money-hungry as a hoodrat bird broad, then niggas should stop complaining about them and start looking in the mirror.

The problem is the system is so skewed towards benefiting women is that when a guy does have the upper hand it's like a ground swell of support from other men to take out the years of fucked up shit on her. Niggas start picturing their own baby mothers and wishing they could have that same get back.

No amount of money can make a person be a responsible parent.

That's something they have to decide to be.

This is very true, but if it were followed there'd be alot less dead beat dads on child support too. That's just the flat out truth. So while I can't personally condone legally forcing a mother or father to be in their child's life, even if only financially, if we being equal about shit then ain't shit/dead beat moms need to be taken to task publicly just as often and severely as dead beat dads are. If the court system is the way to do it then so be it

Hey man, I get it. But fuck, stop thinking with your emotions and start thinking with your head. Not YOU, just niggas in general. I understand why it happens, but niggas need to tighten up.

 

[blackrain]

No amount of money can make a person be a responsible parent.

That's something they have to decide to be.

^this. @a.mann

Cuz get that paper! Keep applying pressure on her ass til yo seed turn 18. Would she give you a break if you asked for it ? Fucc no.

I already told my son when turns 18,.....I'm gonna cry. not becuz he's an adult but becuz I don't have to deal with his mother anymore

^possibly more damaging than his momma not kicking out the $ that you say you don't need.

you do realize he came from her just like he came from you? @pralims‌

we really have to do better in what we prioritize and how we communicate matters of self with our progeny.

Yeah but kids ain't as dumb as you think. Especially as he gets older he'll see his mother for who she really is. It's a shitty realization, but if she really is that bad of a mother the kid a. already knows and is hoping she'll change or b. will find out as he gets older and realizes how his views of women are shaped and what caused them. Saying he don't want to deal with his mother isn't a rejection of the kid, it's the rejection of the bullshit the mother puts you through in the process of raising said child.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

Let's talk joint custody for a minute. How does this work? Alternate weeks, months, weekends?

Here's how my shit works. And it works GREAT for us:

Assuming I've had him all weekend-

MON: I drop him off at daycare, she picks him up

TUES: She drops him off and picks him up

WED: She drops him off, I pick him up

THUR: I drop him off and pick him up

FRI:I drop him off and she picks him up

Then she has him all weekend and the next week, the shit is reversed. Shit works out because at the end of the year it works out to us both having him 50% of the time. We negotiate holidays, etc. She gets him most holidays, if she wants him, since she has family here and she cares about the holidays. I want him to spend time with his family and I usually volunteer to work on holidays since I don't really care about them.

Obviously we switch days whenever we need.

that's works with my daughters mother.....I haven't had problems from her in a few years

 

[mryounggun]

Real shit, a lot of y'all niggas sound like bitches! Fuck outta here with the 'get all the bread you can', 'put your foot on her neck' bullshit. Y'all niggas is part of the reason that the child support system is fucked up now! T/S, calculate the REAL number that it costs to reasonable take care of the kid per month, then hit her for half of that. No more, no less.

Niggas in here sounded like scorned women. Shit is disgusting. If you just as petty, childish and money-hungry as a hoodrat bird broad, then niggas should stop complaining about them and start looking in the mirror.

with my relocation.....she can't afford half......but I think she should pay something. I already did what you suggested .....an she just don't make enough. but shiy

the court choose to review it an increase because she ain't really doing shit.

I ain't eem directing that at you. More for the other niggas who advocating bleeding her dry. I tend to agree with you, if she can't afford half, hit her for what she can afford. Don't have her homeless or no shit, since you don't NEED the money. But like you said, she should pay something. Whatever she can afford, raising a child is Y'ALL responsibility, not yours.

 

[Dupac]

No amount of money can make a person be a responsible parent.

That's something they have to decide to be.

^this. @a.mann

Cuz get that paper! Keep applying pressure on her ass til yo seed turn 18. Would she give you a break if you asked for it ? Fucc no.

I already told my son when turns 18,.....I'm gonna cry. not becuz he's an adult but becuz I don't have to deal with his mother anymore

^possibly more damaging than his momma not kicking out the $ that you say you don't need.

you do realize he came from her just like he came from you? @pralims‌

we really have to do better in what we prioritize and how we communicate matters of self with our progeny.

Yeah but kids ain't as dumb as you think. Especially as he gets older he'll see his mother for who she really is. It's a shitty realization, but if she really is that bad of a mother the kid a. already knows and is hoping she'll change or b. will find out as he gets older and realizes how his views of women are shaped and what caused them. Saying he don't want to deal with his mother isn't a rejection of the kid, it's the rejection of the bullshit the mother puts you through in the process of raising said child.

but at what age, and how much damage has been created by then....

i gotta sister with a 19 year old son who's still far too immature to understand all the struggle she went through during his time on this planet....all he focuses on is the shit he doesn't have......

kids can be ungrateful as fuck when they're young....that shit'll hit him later, cuz at the core he's a good kid... but right now he's a dickhead posting this makes me wanna smack the shit outta him....

 

[2stepz_ahead]

No amount of money can make a person be a responsible parent.

That's something they have to decide to be.

^this. @a.mann

Cuz get that paper! Keep applying pressure on her ass til yo seed turn 18. Would she give you a break if you asked for it ? Fucc no.

I already told my son when turns 18,.....I'm gonna cry. not becuz he's an adult but becuz I don't have to deal with his mother anymore

^possibly more damaging than his momma not kicking out the $ that you say you don't need.

you do realize he came from her just like he came from you? @pralims‌

we really have to do better in what we prioritize and how we communicate matters of self with our progeny.

Yeah but kids ain't as dumb as you think. Especially as he gets older he'll see his mother for who she really is. It's a shitty realization, but if she really is that bad of a mother the kid a. already knows and is hoping she'll change or b. will find out as he gets older and realizes how his views of women are shaped and what caused them. Saying he don't want to deal with his mother isn't a rejection of the kid, it's the rejection of the bullshit the mother puts you through in the process of raising said child.

but at what age, and how much damage has been created by then....

i gotta sister with a 19 year old son who's still far too immature to understand all the struggle she went through during his time on this planet....all he focuses on is the shit he doesn't have......

kids can be ungrateful as fuck when they're young....that shit'll hit him later, cuz at the core he's a good kid... but right now he's a dickhead posting this makes me wanna smack the shit outta him....

depends on the child.

some will ever get it.

 

[blackrain]

No amount of money can make a person be a responsible parent.

That's something they have to decide to be.

^this. @a.mann

Cuz get that paper! Keep applying pressure on her ass til yo seed turn 18. Would she give you a break if you asked for it ? Fucc no.

I already told my son when turns 18,.....I'm gonna cry. not becuz he's an adult but becuz I don't have to deal with his mother anymore

^possibly more damaging than his momma not kicking out the $ that you say you don't need.

you do realize he came from her just like he came from you? @pralims‌

we really have to do better in what we prioritize and how we communicate matters of self with our progeny.

Yeah but kids ain't as dumb as you think. Especially as he gets older he'll see his mother for who she really is. It's a shitty realization, but if she really is that bad of a mother the kid a. already knows and is hoping she'll change or b. will find out as he gets older and realizes how his views of women are shaped and what caused them. Saying he don't want to deal with his mother isn't a rejection of the kid, it's the rejection of the bullshit the mother puts you through in the process of raising said child.

but at what age, and how much damage has been created by then....

i gotta sister with a 19 year old son who's still far too immature to understand all the struggle she went through during his time on this planet....all he focuses on is the shit he doesn't have......

kids can be ungrateful as fuck when they're young....that shit'll hit him later, cuz at the core he's a good kid... but right now he's a dickhead posting this makes me wanna smack the shit outta him....

That's something that can only be determined on an individual basis based on how much of their mom's fucked up ways their exposed too. I grew up knowing my mom was fucked up, but that's because I had direct access to alot of her bullshit and got to see it for myself. I was forced to accept that reality and honestly I'm grateful til this day to my father for always being up front with me about the shit my mother was doing and going through. It's made me extremely aware of certain shit, especially when dealing with women and how to avoid certain emotional traps they set out, and I know had he kept that shit from me I'd have a real distorted view of things now. You can only hide the truth from your kids for but so long. They can always sense when some shit is fucked up between mom and dad whether the parents verbalize it or not.

 

[deadeye]

So far no guy here has openly admitted to actually needing the financial support and contributions of their respective baby mommas

Basically use the child as pawn to enact their personal vengeance on the mother AND the courts that "favor" women over men.

So, it's vengeance to get a parent to do what their supposed to do?

Even if they'd do the same to you if the situation was reversed?

It's about accountability and principle more than anything.

 

[deadeye]

Currently in this situation.

Wanted to talk it out w shorty and handle it ourselves but she spat that ' see you in Court...I need that bread'

For the sake of my son and our relationship I gotta handle biz...

She's not trying to be fair to me but I'll do my best to be fair to her

@LysolJenkins‌

If you don't wanna do her dirty, then just file for joint custody.

That way, neither one of you can be placed on child support.....provided both of you are considered custodial parents.

What you wanna do is noble, but the courts will hold it against you down the line if you ever run into hard times financially.

They tend to have a "fuck you, pay me" mentality.

 

[2stepz_ahead]

Currently in this situation.

Wanted to talk it out w shorty and handle it ourselves but she spat that ' see you in Court...I need that bread'

For the sake of my son and our relationship I gotta handle biz...

She's not trying to be fair to me but I'll do my best to be fair to her

@LysolJenkins‌

If you don't wanna do her dirty, then just file for joint custody.

That way, neither one of you can be placed on child support.....provided both of you are considered custodial parents.

What you wanna do is noble, but the courts will hold it against you down the line if you ever run into hard times financially.

They tend to have a "fuck you, pay me" mentality.

uhhhhhh

that's a negative

you can still have to pay support even with shared physical custody.

nothing stops support except the parents

 

[deadeye]

Currently in this situation.

Wanted to talk it out w shorty and handle it ourselves but she spat that ' see you in Court...I need that bread'

For the sake of my son and our relationship I gotta handle biz...

She's not trying to be fair to me but I'll do my best to be fair to her

@LysolJenkins‌

If you don't wanna do her dirty, then just file for joint custody.

That way, neither one of you can be placed on child support.....provided both of you are considered custodial parents.

What you wanna do is noble, but the courts will hold it against you down the line if you ever run into hard times financially.

They tend to have a "fuck you, pay me" mentality.

you can still have to pay support even with shared physical custody.

Didn't know that.

I thought if it was 50/50 physical custody that neither could be forced to pay support.

 

[LPast]

Let's talk joint custody for a minute. How does this work? Alternate weeks, months, weekends?

Here's how my shit works. And it works GREAT for us:

Assuming I've had him all weekend-

MON: I drop him off at daycare, she picks him up

TUES: She drops him off and picks him up

WED: She drops him off, I pick him up

THUR: I drop him off and pick him up

FRI:I drop him off and she picks him up

Then she has him all weekend and the next week, the shit is reversed. Shit works out because at the end of the year it works out to us both having him 50% of the time. We negotiate holidays, etc. She gets him most holidays, if she wants him, since she has family here and she cares about the holidays. I want him to spend time with his family and I usually volunteer to work on holidays since I don't really care about them.

Obviously we switch days whenever we need.

Goated. Do you play child support?