KEEP IT REAL - How Hard is it for You to Communicate the Difficult Issues with your S/O?

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[bgoat]

It should be easy if both parties can keep their emotions in check or out of it. Also, don't wait to bring something up later, address that shit right then.

 

[Chi-Town Bully]

My wife just come out with whatever is on her mind, she don't let nothing just settle until it becomes a big problem. Things that aren't a problem in my opinion upsets her and she talk about it to me.

I have a don't care attitude so my thing is if it don't have nothing to do with the kids or financial i just keep it to myself

 

[bgoat]

My wife just come out with whatever is on her mind, she don't let nothing just settle until it becomes a big problem. Things that aren't a problem in my opinion upsets her and she talk about it to me.

I have a don't care attitude so my thing is if it don't have nothing to do with the kids or financial i just keep it to myself

That's how I am. If it's out of my control, worrying about it won't help. So I don't stress it.

 

[Kat]

It's hard...probably the biggest issue I have right now.

Pride is a motherfucker.

fuck pride.

how you gon have pride with the muhfukka that you comfortable farting next too?

i hate that pride shit, cause she wont admit she's wrong over silly shit and will fuck an entire day up...

"did i fucking say you didn't wash dishes? NO! i said this cup still dirty, what the fuck is wrong with you? i aint marry no gotdamn chola so why the fuck are you acting like one?"

It's not about admitting when I'm wrong..I actually have no issue with apologizing if I'm wrong.

I was more talking about even bringing a discussion up at all. My pride will have me thinking about something alll day but I won't even say shit about it to him. That's not good though..cause it's not fixing anything.

 

[Dupac]

i just feel like if i should be able to be 100% open and honest with anybody it should be my wife..so i mean she respects that, and while it may come off as harsh sometimes...it's appreciated that i'm being as real as i can be...

she beginning to do the same thing... and it's refreshing to have someone finally be as honest to me as i am to everyone else round me...

 

[MrLunatik1979]

Communicating comes easy for us, our problems come in how we deal with conflict. she wants to sit in silence around each other to calm down, and that just makes me stew in anger and i need to get away to calm down. We both know how the other reacts when we fight and despite talking about it we haven't yet found that happy medium yet.

 

[Kat]

Communicating comes easy for us, our problems come in how we deal with conflict. she wants to sit in silence around each other to calm down, and that just makes me stew in anger and i need to get away to calm down. We both know how the other reacts when we fight and despite talking about it we haven't yet found that happy medium yet.

lol..she's trying to keep an eye on your ass even in anger.

You can be mad, but you're not about to go out and do something reckless!

 

[MeTaL]

It's hard...probably the biggest issue I have right now.

Pride is a motherfucker.

fuck pride.

how you gon have pride with the muhfukka that you comfortable farting next too?

i hate that pride shit, cause she wont admit she's wrong over silly shit and will fuck an entire day up...

"did i fucking say you didn't wash dishes? NO! i said this cup still dirty, what the fuck is wrong with you? i aint marry no gotdamn chola so why the fuck are you acting like one?"

It's not about admitting when I'm wrong..I actually have no issue with apologizing if I'm wrong.

I was more talking about even bringing a discussion up at all. My pride will have me thinking about something alll day but I won't even say shit about it to him. That's not good though..cause it's not fixing anything.

That's not good at all.. You should be able to swallow your pride..and speak your mind.. Speak how you feel.. but be tactful.. Like before I said.. It's not how you speaks your words.. It's how you say your words.. Sit down and communicate with each other.. Talk TO each other.. Why keep holding something in?? You should be able to actually sit down and communicate to the point where he feels comfortable in terms of what you saying.

 

[MARIO_DRO]

MY SENSITIVE, BUT SOMETIMES, I GOTTA BE HARSH TO GET MY POINT ACROSS...

IT AINT ALWAYS EASY BEING HONEST AND TELLIN PEOPLE HOW U REALLY FEEL CAUSE THEY THININ THAT EVERYTHING IS GRAVY AND U JUST COME OUTTA NOWHERE WITH ISSUES...

 

[Kat]

MY SENSITIVE, BUT SOMETIMES, I GOTTA BE HARSH TO GET MY POINT ACROSS...

IT AINT ALWAYS EASY BEING HONEST AND TELLIN PEOPLE HOW U REALLY FEEL CAUSE THEY THININ THAT EVERYTHING IS GRAVY AND U JUST COME OUTTA NOWHERE WITH ISSUES...

Real talk.

 

[MrLunatik1979]

Communicating comes easy for us, our problems come in how we deal with conflict. she wants to sit in silence around each other to calm down, and that just makes me stew in anger and i need to get away to calm down. We both know how the other reacts when we fight and despite talking about it we haven't yet found that happy medium yet.

lol..she's trying to keep an eye on your ass even in anger.

You can be mad, but you're not about to go out and do something reckless!

I don't try and leave the crib though, I just want to get into another room. When I'm pissed I just like to be alone, sit in the dark, throw some headphones on and listen to loud music until I relax. That or put my pen to a pad and write.

I learned my lesson about my anger in high school when I was drinking and this chick pissed me off, I walked out of my own party and left a trail of damage behind me. When all was said and done my fists were bloody and bruised, fortunately it was cars, fences, posts... etc that I came across and not a person or I might have caught a case that night. After that I found more constructive ways to release my anger.

 

[7figz]

It's hard...probably the biggest issue I have right now.

Pride is a motherfucker.

fuck pride.

how you gon have pride with the muhfukka that you comfortable farting next too?

i hate that pride shit, cause she wont admit she's wrong over silly shit and will fuck an entire day up...

"did i fucking say you didn't wash dishes? NO! i said this cup still dirty, what the fuck is wrong with you? i aint marry no gotdamn chola so why the fuck are you acting like one?"

It's not about admitting when I'm wrong..I actually have no issue with apologizing if I'm wrong.

I was more talking about even bringing a discussion up at all. My pride will have me thinking about something alll day but I won't even say shit about it to him. That's not good though..cause it's not fixing anything.

I wouldn't let pride hold me back for too long especially if it's something important. I've had those times where it's a few hours or so I won't say shit about something because of my pride. But in a serious relationship, especially if y'all live together, that's out the window.

It's gonna be that awkward moment to bring it up, and hope it doesn't turn into an argument - but the point is to put it out there. Most of the time, I find it's better not to do it in the heat of the moment, but definitely in the same day or ASAP.

 

[blackrain]

Pride can be the death of a relationship...I know I can be a smart ass...I know I can say shit in a way that may not seem harsh to me, but can in reality can be very fucked up so I tend to become extremely aware of my tone and how I say things just as much as what I'm saying. One thing I hate doing though is having to repeat myself. If I feel you're not listening to me I'll shut down and just stop talking completely

 

[Kat]

Pride can be the death of a relationship...I know I can be a smart ass...I know I can say shit in a way that may not seem harsh to me, but can in reality can be very fucked up so I tend to become extremely aware of my tone and how I say things just as much as what I'm saying. One thing I hate doing though is having to repeat myself. If I feel you're not listening to me I'll shut down and just stop talking completely

lol..that must be a man thing.

 

[it's me bi***es]

Communicating comes easy for us, our problems come in how we deal with conflict. she wants to sit in silence around each other to calm down, and that just makes me stew in anger and i need to get away to calm down. We both know how the other reacts when we fight and despite talking about it we haven't yet found that happy medium yet.

THIS^^^^ THIS THE SHIT MY GIRL LIKES DOING! SHE JUST WANTS TO SIT THERE AND TALK AND I RATHER TALK WHEN IM COOLED DOWN CUZ IF NOT IM JUST GONA SAY SOME STUPID SHIT! SO I RATHER LEAVE AND COME BACK WHEN IM KOO, BUT SHE RATHER ME SIT THERE AND COOL DOWN. AND IM LIKE FUCK THAT I NEED TO GO CLEAR MY MIND AND SHE DONT UNDERSTAND THAT SHIT SO SHIT GETS WORSE. THEN SHE GETS CRAZY CUZ I WANA LEAVE AND I GET PISSED CUZ SHE WONT LET ME GO! IM CURRENTLY GOIN THRU ALL THIS SHIT SO SOME OF YA'LL POST IS OPENING MY EYES...

 

[MrLunatik1979]

Communicating comes easy for us, our problems come in how we deal with conflict. she wants to sit in silence around each other to calm down, and that just makes me stew in anger and i need to get away to calm down. We both know how the other reacts when we fight and despite talking about it we haven't yet found that happy medium yet.

THIS^^^^ THIS THE SHIT MY GIRL LIKES DOING! SHE JUST WANTS TO SIT THERE AND TALK AND I RATHER TALK WHEN IM COOLED DOWN CUZ IF NOT IM JUST GONA SAY SOME STUPID SHIT! SO I RATHER LEAVE AND COME BACK WHEN IM KOO, BUT SHE RATHER ME SIT THERE AND COOL DOWN. AND IM LIKE FUCK THAT I NEED TO GO CLEAR MY MIND AND SHE DONT UNDERSTAND THAT SHIT SO SHIT GETS WORSE. THEN SHE GETS CRAZY CUZ I WANA LEAVE AND I GET PISSED CUZ SHE WONT LET ME GO! IM CURRENTLY GOIN THRU ALL THIS SHIT SO SOME OF YA'LL POST IS OPENING MY EYES...

The worst part is I have been honest with my girl about the shit I say when I am angry. But yet she seems to want to put me in a position to say the wrong thing. I think sometimes its a powerplay because if we say the wrong thing, it makes them think they win.

 

[Kat]

Alot of men have to get pushed to anger to be candid.

Why do I have to get you heated for you to come out with how you REALLY feel?

 

[blackrain]

Pride can be the death of a relationship...I know I can be a smart ass...I know I can say shit in a way that may not seem harsh to me, but can in reality can be very fucked up so I tend to become extremely aware of my tone and how I say things just as much as what I'm saying. One thing I hate doing though is having to repeat myself. If I feel you're not listening to me I'll shut down and just stop talking completely

lol..that must be a man thing.

Lol...might be. I just hate feeling like my time is being wasted in any way, shape or form so if I'm talking and you're not listening and I have to repeat myself more than 2 times, yeah i have a personal limit lol, then logically it makes sense for me to stop wasting energy speaking to keep myself from being annoyed by feeling like i'm wasting my time.

 

[MrLunatik1979]

Alot of men have to get pushed to anger to be candid.

Why do I have to get you heated for you to come out with how you REALLY feel?

I feel like I want to be left the fuck alone... or at least that's what I would say if she said that.