I would never marry a broke man .......

[Dupac]

Good post Jones.

When men think about statements like that, they are considering what the woman would do if they were broke. So you look foul.

You said you wouldn't marry a broke man.... What they heard was that you would leave if he hit financial hardships.

not only that.. they also gotta reconsider why she's with him

does she love me for me? or does she love me cuz she know i got money.....??

i mean a woman's natural response to that is that he's being insecure.. but that shit's a reality.. everyman wonders why a woman is with him... shit that's why so many niggaz that even think they gotta little money and assets their chick might possibly be after screaming pre-nup....

that shit gotta be the number one paranoia for any nigga with money and a woman who claims to be inlove with him.....

she lucky he pulled him off to the side... i know a lotta niggaz that woulda said that shit right in her face...while looking at her

"man fuck this, don't marry this chick....she already counting your paper"

 

[BoldChild]

I don't see anything wrong with it.

Whenever someone says money doesn't matter, they are either lying, or foolish.

 

[blackrain]

@Du

I never said if things got bad I wouldn't be there for my man.......But why go into something knowing that it could be a failure?

I was being honest... why lie ???? My man had no issues with what I said. He told his friend if I was a broke chick with no goals he would have just fucked me a few times and kept it moving. So why is it an issue if a female says it?

I'm not using him for his money... I have my own career and assets... just like he does.

But together we are better #teamus

Because without all the other things you said factor into somebody being broke, on its own your statement does come off as being like a gold digger...of course it makes sense to not be with or marry someone with no ambition or drive to do anything in their life...but to simply flat out state "broke" w/o clarifying what you mean it's a broad ass statement that can cover many scenarios...and that shit is a red flag to many people

 

[Dupac]

@Du

I never said if things got bad I wouldn't be there for my man.......But why go into something knowing that it could be a failure?

I was being honest... why lie ???? My man had no issues with what I said. He told his friend if I was a broke chick with no goals he would have just fucked me a few times and kept it moving. So why is it an issue if a female says it?

I'm not using him for his money... I have my own career and assets... just like he does.

But together we are better #teamus

this is why communication is such an important tool in life in general, because while what you mean isn't always going to be received that way when people hear what you actually said....

if your man understood you, and was cool with what you said, then that's fine... but his boy ain't hear it like that... he heard something different...and while that's his problem... i can tottally see how he got that from it...

 

[bgoat]

All the broke niggas at the BBQ got offended....lol

 

[Dupac]

@Du...that's not what it sounds like at all. What she said should be taken at face value, and that is she wouldn't MARRY a broke man. What happens during the marriage is of no consequence in this matter.

Just like men say they would never marry a hoe, or they would never marry a woman that doesn't cook...they are setting the standard of what is acceptable, or a pre-requisite.

same thing i just said to ms s....

a statement can be take a million different ways, people draw different conclusions from the same statement all the time....

things are very rarely taken at face level or just one way....

12 people can hear the same statement being said ans have 12 totally different opinions of what was said....shit that's the basis for debate, and threads like these in general...

i mean i get what you're saying.....but i absolutely get what dude was saying as well....

and i'll use your examples, a woman may not be able to cook today, but if i love her, and she loves me, and is willing to learn... that shouldn't stop us from moving forward....

a woman may have been a hoe yesterday, but if she's open and honest about it, and willing to maintain that honesty, shows me her flaws, i show her mines, and we can build off of that honesty together....that shouldn't stop us from moving forward....

a nigga may be broke as fuck today, but if he's willing to be honest about his mistakes in the past, and open minded enough to try to do things differently, can be taught the value of savings, and is able to display responsible spending habit when taught them....and there's a lot of love there, then that shouldn't stop them from moving forward...

the whole point is marriage is a constant growth process regardless, no one is the same person they were going in.....if you got love ,communication, and are open minded enough to attempt to change some things that will help both of you move forward..then it's a good look....

i mean that may have been a little too much, but i think explains what i'm saying in a better detail i hope

 

[God-I_Am_Ether]

A lot of men think Potential is enough to Keep a woman happy.

 

[Shuffington]

I mean... thats a given.... its not really something that needs to be shouted to the crowds.

it could be misconstrued as a reflection of your own insecurity with money issues. Meaning your a little toooo preoccupied with someones monetary worth. I.E "another chick whos to overly concerned about everybody else's pockets"

In reality ... no one wants to be with someone who's "broke". We would all like to date super rich people.

 

[BlackThor356]

yes, yes, all women wont marry a broke man, but they do. what u want and the reality of ur mid 30's-desperate for social validation-so you settle for you can get situation causes many women to do what they said they will never do

 

[Dupac]

it woulda been funny if someone followed that immediately with

"and i would never get married without signing a pre-nup"

 

[ms.jones]

It is my belief that while during the dating phase, flaws and misconceptions should be uncovered. In the case of Ms. Southern, at any point during the dating phase that she notices the man she is with is still in financial disarray after a set amount of time, she has every right to walk.

Your love conquers all attitude does not work every time in even the most hospitable of situations. One can only rely on the kindness of family for so long, as well as maintain the patience. Most women want a man that can provide, protect, and preserve. A man with no ends, an excuse for why he doesn't have his finances together, and a pocket full of dreams don't cut it after a certain point. Now, if she misses out, hey, her loss.

 

[Dupac]

It is my belief that while during the dating phase, flaws and misconceptions should be uncovered. In the case of Ms. Southern, at any point during the dating phase that she notices the man she is with is still in financial disarray after a set amount of time, she has every right to walk.

Your love conquers all attitude does not work every time in even the most hospitable of situations. One can only rely on the kindness of family for so long, as well as maintain the patience. Most women want a man that can provide, protect, and preserve. A man with no ends, an excuse for why he doesn't have his finances together, and a pocket full of dreams don't cut it after a certain point. Now, if she misses out, hey, her loss.

100% true....

and men know that....

so as a consequence a man's top insecurities and ultimately questions he asks himself are going to be,

can i provide for my family?

can i protect my family?

will i be able to maintain these things?

millions of niggaz put their lives on the line for that shit....so i mean, as important as that is to a man, hearing a woman just casually state..." i ain't marrying no broke nigga" even if he got money and a plan, just might step.....

jthe point his boy was trying to convey was...

she ain't here for the man, she here for the money..

it's like this...i want you to love me for my ability, drive, work ethic, and desire to do these things for you and our family....... don't just love me for the fruit of my labor......appreciate what i did for that

her statement sounds like she's applauding the results more than the effort behind them, and that's just simply unacceptable in a lotta men's eyes....

 

[Dupac]

if her statement was something like

"i would never marry a man with no work ethic and takes no pride in proving for his family. If you aren't willing to go out there and bust your ass for the sake of your home, then i can't fucks with you"

nobody woulda had an issue with that statement

 

[The Prodigalson]

How would you know the man if broke? By the way he dress or getting to know the dude after initial conversation?

 

[7figz]

Because it sounded shallow as fuck ?

 

[Black Boy King]

im gettin money but i aint got no 401k

 

[Sage Wonder]

Sometimes it's better to say less than necessary.

 

[MsSouthern]

I mean... thats a given.... its not really something that needs to be shouted to the crowds.

it could be misconstrued as a reflection of your own insecurity with money issues. Meaning your a little toooo preoccupied with someones monetary worth. I.E "another chick whos to overly concerned about everybody else's pockets"

In reality ... no one wants to be with someone who's "broke". We would all like to date super rich people.

I didn't shout it out lol

We were in convo talking about marriage. One of their other friends married some chick recently and no one liked her. I asked why and the convo went from there......

 

[MsSouthern]

How would you know the man if broke? By the way he dress or getting to know the dude after initial conversation?

after getting to know him first.....

 

[Knives Amilli]

@Du

I never said if things got bad I wouldn't be there for my man.......But why go into something knowing that it could be a failure?

I was being honest... why lie ???? My man had no issues with what I said. He told his friend if I was a broke chick with no goals he would have just fucked me a few times and kept it moving. So why is it an issue if a female says it?

I'm not using him for his money... I have my own career and assets... just like he does.

But together we are better #teamus

Because without all the other things you said factor into somebody being broke, on its own your statement does come off as being like a gold digger...of course it makes sense to not be with or marry someone with no ambition or drive to do anything in their life...but to simply flat out state "broke" w/o clarifying what you mean it's a broad ass statement that can cover many scenarios...and that shit is a red flag to many people

This.

And to add, given our current economic atmosphere, the concept of being "broke" is probably more relevant now more than ever. Its a alot more common to see niggas who had it made 5-10 years ago legitimately struggling. With that said, blanket statements that can be interpreted as materialistic and shallow might be a little more taboo nowadays.