No Matter what you do, know who your lord and creator is. Life is a cycle and suffering is part of that cycle. We are not all born equally, but we all are worth the same.
After Life, there will be more life, dont set your Karma to suffer more. Self pity is a dangerous thing.
You are being a wise fool. You can use your intellect for way more then figuring a way to end this life that you have now.
I don't know if you are a sympathetic person or one who empathizes, but your not by yourself in your suffering.
If you stay alive you should think of contacting people who are in a simialar situation, because your talking to alot of people who dont really even value themselves and have no moral foundation for their behavior and attitudes.
A story in the bible you might find interesting is of JOb, who is constantly tested by God(it's not about if its true or not, it's about the message)
Your body may not work how you would like it to but what about your mind?
Your mind and perspective is something you can always change, and if you can find a positive perspective on life maybe you can save somebody in a simialar situation who's going through the same thoughts as you.Set up some good Karma for yourself. You may even make a true friend. One true friend is better then a thousand fake ones.
Maybe you should take a break from speaking to the negative people on this board, these are fools. If you would like to talk, you can send me a private message and we could talk about some serious things, your beliefs disbeliefs, problems, I'll listen in hopes that you'll listen to somebody else when they need it.
If you want to hit me up we can talk. Sincerely.
I had a cousin that committed suicide, wish he didn't though. Maybe I could tell you about that too.