datgirl_icey
New member
NeighborhoodNomad. ;9351335 said:datgirl_icey;9351221 said:I was really not gonna come back but I was lurking and some incredibly ignorant rape comments triggered me so here I am. Anymore questions?
Welcome to the IC @datgirl_icey
My apologies for the disrespect and we appreciate you joining the conversation, especially since this thread is about you.
About "a list" though, I think making a dating or relationship list would actually be limiting to ourselves by staying closed off to the traits that don't make "the list" and only focusing on specific traits. But by staying open, receptive, and discerning to "compatibility", it allows us to make real connections and share experiences that are beyond the limitations of a list .
But we want what we want...
and
@Joker_De_La_Muerta
@SolemnSauce
Y'all owe this Black Woman an apology.
Thank you for the greeting and dignified response. While I appreciate your perspective you never know what someone has been through and why they hold the positions they do. I've been with a man who didn't have those exact traits; I allowed things like overall compatibility and being "open" guide my judgement and it was the worse relationship I ever had. I was depressed, frustrated and my needs weren't being met. What was worse is that he even LIED to me about having some of these attributes. Then later on the line I meet someone who fits the bill and he made me extremely happy. He was attracted to me despite my "eyes being far apart" (which is such a ridiculous reach) and he pretty much set the standard for any other man I decided to take serious. I say all this to say that while of course other factors should come into play when choosing a mate, knowing what you want and standing steadfastly by your beliefs will save you a lot of time and headache in the end, especially if you relax your standards and the person even degenerates. My experiences are my own and I don't have to change anything for anyone.