Best Professional Clap Back

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i live for these kinda opportunities.. i love when people ask some shit that was already previously answered on the same email trail, or when someone gets snarky but they are misinformed. lol the rest of my team hates being confrontational so they give me all those emails to respond to.
 
Man I live for office beef. I love having that unspoken passive-agressive beef in a corporate environment because then I have someone to shit on day in and day out. I look forward to making a mothetfucker feel uncomfortable.

I will say though, I never start this shit. But as soon as a motherfucker starts the beef, im all in. I always tell my team like I love going to war, they think im crazy.

Im at war with the whole automation team at my job now. They brought me in to replace them, and we are working together for them to hand it off to me. I get that they are pissed to be losing their spot but that shit got nothing to do with me. Their beef should be with management. But early on I caught them sucking up heavy to the manager but try to shit on me. And I been shitting on them ever since. They realized and they been extremely nice for the last few weeks, but idgaf. I proceed to shit on them first thing in the morning before I even have coffee.

Petty? Yea but idgaf.
 
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"I went over this with Frank in detail and he didn't have any questions. You may want to speak with him first"
 
AZTG;c-9987471 said:
Man I live for office beef. I love having that unspoken passive-agressive beef in a corporate environment because then I have someone to shit on day in and day out. I look forward to making a mothetfucker feel uncomfortable.

I will say though, I never start this shit. But as soon as a motherfucker starts the beef, im all in. I always tell my team like I love going to war, they think im crazy.


Im at war with the whole automation team at my job now. They brought me in to replace them, and we are working together for them to hand it off to me. I get that they are pissed to be losing their spot but that shit got nothing to do with me. Their beef should be with management. But early on I caught them sucking up heavy to the manager but try to shit on me. And I been shitting on them ever since. They realized and they been extremely nice for the last few weeks, but idgaf. I proceed to shit on them first thing in the morning before I even have coffee.

Petty? Yea but idgaf.

LOL this is exactly me. GOAT.

 
Kat;c-9987049 said:
Lou_Cypher;c-9986842 said:
I dont talk like that. I'm more like "What the fuck is your problem?" or "that shit doesnt make sense"

Sounds like my boss, he will also ask if you've been smoking crack or if you're stoned.

Ah, questions i frequently ask people as well.
 
I prefer to drop whatever I'm doing and show up in ur office to

0eyz0g3nyhah.png


Hash out our differences
 
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The only thing I've had to do is either CC my manager or their manager. But when someone is messaging me and CC my manager I get pissed like why the fuck you snitching
 
Robert7328;c-9987673 said:
AZTG;c-9987471 said:
Man I live for office beef. I love having that unspoken passive-agressive beef in a corporate environment because then I have someone to shit on day in and day out. I look forward to making a mothetfucker feel uncomfortable.

I will say though, I never start this shit. But as soon as a motherfucker starts the beef, im all in. I always tell my team like I love going to war, they think im crazy.

Im at war with the whole automation team at my job now. They brought me in to replace them, and we are working together for them to hand it off to me. I get that they are pissed to be losing their spot but that shit got nothing to do with me. Their beef should be with management. But early on I caught them sucking up heavy to the manager but try to shit on me. And I been shitting on them ever since. They realized and they been extremely nice for the last few weeks, but idgaf. I proceed to shit on them first thing in the morning before I even have coffee.

Petty? Yea but idgaf.

It's easy to find beef in software development.

Everyone is constantly trying to build his or her brand.

White collar people don't understand that you can get your ass whooped just by having a smart mouth.

If I am healthy enough, then I am a very physical person when it comes to beefing.

So, in order to avoid physical confrontations, I really try to keep shit strictly business while on the job.

If I am not personally invested in a situation, then it is easier for shit to roll off my back.

I feel you.

I was like this growing up in high school and college too. If i didnt like a motherfucker for whatever reason, id talk mad shit, making fun of that person whenever I saw them by themselves or in a group.

Thing is though more often then not that shit turned into a fight.

In the corporate environment though? Nobody fighting so its just shit talking back and forth with me making fun of motherfuckers and making them look stupid.

I never cc managers though. I dont want to put people in a position where their manager ends up thinking lesser of them. I dont wanna mess up their money at all. So usually my responses if they arent face to face is usually to the person or the group Im shitting on directly.
 
I use about 80% of what's being said here on a regular basis. I didn't know I was being an asshole. Must be my military side. Well at least now I know why some people stare at me with hate as I walk by.
 
Ip man;c-9987989 said:
I use about 80% of what's being said here on a regular basis. I didn't know I was being an asshole. Must be my military side. Well at least now I know why some people stare at me with hate as I walk by.

rofl, ive learned that very basic shit is deemed offensive in office settings. little things i just thought were generic and neutral, people seem to get hurt by.
 
Hey John I just received your email and I think you have a great perspective....

Then I begin with "but" and proceed to break a mf down. Partial credit due to the combative nature of the IC. Y'all mfs taught me how to conduct business the right way.
 
"Thank you for your prompt response, however, please see below for my constructive input in blue text in parentheses......it should be noted that the purpose of this constructive input is to inform and also contribute to an environment that fosters teamwork, thanks!"

Then I breakdown their initial email while shitting on them with my thoughts in the parentheses by citing requirements and photos....I also cc their boss and my boss.....hate doing it that way but I get challenged a lot due to me working in Quality Assurance / Quality Control
 
AggieLean.;c-9986865 said:
CC'ing their supervisor or manager always drives the point home and sometimes is all the clap back you need

Smh, so we consigning office dry snitching now.

 

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