dalyricalbandit
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- Brock Lesnar wins via F5. B
I read this in a NYC Accent
I read this in a NYC Accent
WWE PPV thread - WWE Clash of Champions [AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal] - Dec. 17
KillaCham;c-9878139 said:
WWE Great Balls of Fire!!! A brand new pay-per-view created because Vince McMahon is really a 12-year-old pervert at heart. With a name like this, GBOF struggled months before it ever went live on the WWE Network. However, as the weeks passed, the card started to take shape and took the event from a joke to a pretty stacked show on paper.
(Pre-Show) Neville (c) vs. Akira Tozawa (WWE Cruiserweight Championship)
Neville is one of the best in-ring performers the entire company has to offer, but also has the ring psychology and intelligence to make his matches even more a pleasure to watch (and believable). Both showed off some great offense, but the finish blew. I assume they were saving most of their tricks and a better finish for a rematch that doesn’t take place on a preshow. Make sure you tune in for that one.
-Neville wins via top rope dick kick and a kick to the gut. C+
Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins
I guess they wanted to get this one right out of the way, eh? The Kingslayer vs. Mr. Pin Me, Pay Me. This match has some pretty decent back and forth with nothing too exciting in between. Midway we had a stiff spot of Seth's head being spiked into ring apron, followed by a weird groan/growl/MMMMM noise from Booker T on commentary. The big surprise of the night came in this match when the commentators didn't throw in our face how the apron is ACKTCHUALLY the hardest part of the ring. Bray got to exercise some power moves on Seth like an impressive looking Uranage, which should be really be upgraded to a secondary finisher of his. Booker T growl count: 5.
T'was a decent match, but neither man benefited from the ending. There is nothing monstrous or mysterious about sucker finishes like a stupid (missed) eye poke. The match was at least the least boring thing of this entire feud.
-Bray Wyatt wins via thumb to the upper lip, followed by Sister Abigail. C+
Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass
Now comes the first match out a few that is preceded by some great build-up. Enzo came out and cut another fantastic promo. Cass came out to Default Create-A-Wrestler Music 4. DELETE!! This match had one of the night's best quotes "I like Enzo - he's a good guy. But my next door neighbor is a good guy too. And he's not going to help me win championships!" by Booker T, who is drunk. The line would have been better if his neighbor wasn't in fact Stevie Ray. This match was a squash, as expected, with Cass showing how he has no moveset. This, coupled with an unimpressive showing on Raw Talk, doesn't give me much hope for Big Cass' singles run.
-I forgot how the match ended, and so did you. Big Cass wins. D+
Sheamus & Cesaro (c) vs. The Hardy Boyz - 30 Minute Ironman Match (WWE Raw Tag Team Championships)
These two teams have been going at it for months now. The idea of yet another Hardyz/Cesheamus match seemed daunting, yet this match added even more fuel to this already hot feud. The Hardyz hold the luxury of always having the crowd with them. Couple that with the heat Sheamus and Cesaro have earned themselves with their heel turn and you have some hot fiyah!
The match started off hot with a Brogue Kick and pinfall within the first 15 seconds. Typically quick falls in these kind of matches look stupid - a match that usually goes 15 minutes, but gets quick pinfalls merely in the name of the stipulation? However, this looked good, got Sheamus and Cesaro heat, and told the story of them being prepared to defend theirbeltschampionships (sorry, Vince). The obstacle of Ironman matches is making the entire match feel important, as opposed to only the last 5 minutes. All 4 guys did a great job making every piece of this feel special. Even Sheamus, who has been the Brie Bella of the group, made this match exciting.
Booker T growl count: 9. At this point, you know Kevin Dunn is telling him to shut the fuck up.
After falling behind 0-2, the Hardyz hit a Poetry In Motion, Side Effect, Twist of Fate combo to earn them their first pinfall... then they got counted out and fell behind 1-3. Innovative variations of both team's signature moves kept things interesting, like Matt Hardy transitioning a backslide into Jeff's spit-legged, reverse, legdrop, pin thingy.....
Matt Hardy hit a tornado DDT for a super close pinfall. A middle-aged woman in the crowd diarrhea'd her pants.
Not sure when, but Matt got busted open something nasty. The ending came after Jeff Hardy FINALLY hit the Swanton Bomb on Sheamus. Unbeknownst to Jeff, Cesaro had made the blind tag, which begs the question why the referee didn't bother telling anyone the tag was made for 15 whole seconds. This ref sucked. Cesaro rolled up an exhausted Jeff to go up 4-3, before running around the outside of the ring like Jerry the mouse. Hopefully this is one step closer to us getting The Broken Hardyz. Great tag match, regardless. But with as much referee fuckery that went on, this feud definitely doesn't seem over. Jeff definitely got his shoulder up during that last pinfall. #NotMyTagChamps
-Cesaro & Sheamus win as time expires. B+
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks (WWE Raw Womens Championship)
From bell to bell, this match was a solid outing, yet there still wasn't much to this one. Double-jointed Alexa Bliss does a spot where it looks like she dislocated her arm. Sasha Banks looked concerned and Michael Cole marked out. Apparently, they don't watch Smackdown where Alexa did the same exact spot. Toward the end of the match, Alexa withstood Sasha's signature Bank Statement submission longer than Charlotte ever did. Sasha may or may not have carried this to be Alexa's best match on the main roster, which unfortunately is not saying much.
After the match was called off, Sasha jumps off of the announce table, hitting Bliss with a flying poonani press to the face.
-Sasha Banks wins via countout. C+
Yooooo lmao flying poonani press is fuckin hilarious b
Also Shesaro >>>> Cesheamus
MillzOG;c-9878675 said:KillaCham;c-9878139 said:
WWE Great Balls of Fire!!! A brand new pay-per-view created because Vince McMahon is really a 12-year-old pervert at heart. With a name like this, GBOF struggled months before it ever went live on the WWE Network. However, as the weeks passed, the card started to take shape and took the event from a joke to a pretty stacked show on paper.
(Pre-Show) Neville (c) vs. Akira Tozawa (WWE Cruiserweight Championship)
Neville is one of the best in-ring performers the entire company has to offer, but also has the ring psychology and intelligence to make his matches even more a pleasure to watch (and believable). Both showed off some great offense, but the finish blew. I assume they were saving most of their tricks and a better finish for a rematch that doesn’t take place on a preshow. Make sure you tune in for that one.
-Neville wins via top rope dick kick and a kick to the gut. C+
Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins
I guess they wanted to get this one right out of the way, eh? The Kingslayer vs. Mr. Pin Me, Pay Me. This match has some pretty decent back and forth with nothing too exciting in between. Midway we had a stiff spot of Seth's head being spiked into ring apron, followed by a weird groan/growl/MMMMM noise from Booker T on commentary. The big surprise of the night came in this match when the commentators didn't throw in our face how the apron is ACKTCHUALLY the hardest part of the ring. Bray got to exercise some power moves on Seth like an impressive looking Uranage, which should be really be upgraded to a secondary finisher of his. Booker T growl count: 5.
T'was a decent match, but neither man benefited from the ending. There is nothing monstrous or mysterious about sucker finishes like a stupid (missed) eye poke. The match was at least the least boring thing of this entire feud.
-Bray Wyatt wins via thumb to the upper lip, followed by Sister Abigail. C+
Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass
Now comes the first match out a few that is preceded by some great build-up. Enzo came out and cut another fantastic promo. Cass came out to Default Create-A-Wrestler Music 4. DELETE!! This match had one of the night's best quotes "I like Enzo - he's a good guy. But my next door neighbor is a good guy too. And he's not going to help me win championships!" by Booker T, who is drunk. The line would have been better if his neighbor wasn't in fact Stevie Ray. This match was a squash, as expected, with Cass showing how he has no moveset. This, coupled with an unimpressive showing on Raw Talk, doesn't give me much hope for Big Cass' singles run.
-I forgot how the match ended, and so did you. Big Cass wins. D+
Sheamus & Cesaro (c) vs. The Hardy Boyz - 30 Minute Ironman Match (WWE Raw Tag Team Championships)
These two teams have been going at it for months now. The idea of yet another Hardyz/Cesheamus match seemed daunting, yet this match added even more fuel to this already hot feud. The Hardyz hold the luxury of always having the crowd with them. Couple that with the heat Sheamus and Cesaro have earned themselves with their heel turn and you have some hot fiyah!
The match started off hot with a Brogue Kick and pinfall within the first 15 seconds. Typically quick falls in these kind of matches look stupid - a match that usually goes 15 minutes, but gets quick pinfalls merely in the name of the stipulation? However, this looked good, got Sheamus and Cesaro heat, and told the story of them being prepared to defend theirbeltschampionships (sorry, Vince). The obstacle of Ironman matches is making the entire match feel important, as opposed to only the last 5 minutes. All 4 guys did a great job making every piece of this feel special. Even Sheamus, who has been the Brie Bella of the group, made this match exciting.
Booker T growl count: 9. At this point, you know Kevin Dunn is telling him to shut the fuck up.
After falling behind 0-2, the Hardyz hit a Poetry In Motion, Side Effect, Twist of Fate combo to earn them their first pinfall... then they got counted out and fell behind 1-3. Innovative variations of both team's signature moves kept things interesting, like Matt Hardy transitioning a backslide into Jeff's spit-legged, reverse, legdrop, pin thingy.....
Matt Hardy hit a tornado DDT for a super close pinfall. A middle-aged woman in the crowd diarrhea'd her pants.
Not sure when, but Matt got busted open something nasty. The ending came after Jeff Hardy FINALLY hit the Swanton Bomb on Sheamus. Unbeknownst to Jeff, Cesaro had made the blind tag, which begs the question why the referee didn't bother telling anyone the tag was made for 15 whole seconds. This ref sucked. Cesaro rolled up an exhausted Jeff to go up 4-3, before running around the outside of the ring like Jerry the mouse. Hopefully this is one step closer to us getting The Broken Hardyz. Great tag match, regardless. But with as much referee fuckery that went on, this feud definitely doesn't seem over. Jeff definitely got his shoulder up during that last pinfall. #NotMyTagChamps
-Cesaro & Sheamus win as time expires. B+
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks (WWE Raw Womens Championship)
From bell to bell, this match was a solid outing, yet there still wasn't much to this one. Double-jointed Alexa Bliss does a spot where it looks like she dislocated her arm. Sasha Banks looked concerned and Michael Cole marked out. Apparently, they don't watch Smackdown where Alexa did the same exact spot. Toward the end of the match, Alexa withstood Sasha's signature Bank Statement submission longer than Charlotte ever did. Sasha may or may not have carried this to be Alexa's best match on the main roster, which unfortunately is not saying much.
After the match was called off, Sasha jumps off of the announce table, hitting Bliss with a flying poonani press to the face.
-Sasha Banks wins via countout. C+
Yooooo lmao flying poonani press is fuckin hilarious b
Also Shesaro >>>> Cesheamus
Lol you'll think of that move name every time now.
WWE Championship // Punjabi Prison Match
Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton
WWE United States Championship
AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens
Flag Match
John Cena vs. Rusev
WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The Usos vs. The New Day
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Baron Corbin
Five-Way Elimination Match
Charlotte Flair vs. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Tamina vs. Lana
Young Gunner
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Jimmy wrestling in a hoodie lol
Young Gunner
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gotdam at that spot
Young Gunner
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a 20 min opening tag match. i can fuck with that. dope
Already Home_17
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fun match
willhustle
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Surprised New Day got the belts on a B-Show. I figured they would get them by SummerSlam.
Already Home_17
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hey playboy buddy rose's favorite wrestler is on
Young Gunner
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The only pop Tamina ever gets is from the grocery store
Already Home_17
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tamina and lana are uncoordinated as fuck
this would've been better off a triple threat
this would've been better off a triple threat
Young Gunner
New member
didnt see that happening
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