Just finished the 1997 Rumble PPV. Every match was meh besides the main event. And there was some asshole in the crowd whistling during a chunk of the event, which knocks this whole shit down at least 2 star ratings, real talk.
Goldust vs. Triple H: This was fresh off of Goldust's face turn, which happened when King asked Goldust on Raw if he was "queer" and Goldust slapped him. I guess being not gay made you a fan favorite in 1997. Match never really got off of the ground. A lot of outside running around. Pedigree. End.
Ahmed vs. Nation of Domination Farooq. Nice video package before the match. They didn't show any footage of Farooq's helmet from when he first debuted tho. They knew they fucked that up. Ahmed is more wet than a newborn baby as usual too nh. Another match where not much happened. Ended in DQ. Was better than the first one though.
Undertaker vs. Vader next. Todd interviews some random fan during the entrances who's talking about how she babysat to afford tickets there wow who cares. Match is slightly better than the first two. Gets awkward during the end when Paul Bearer comes out. I feel like someone missed a spot or something. Bearer hits Taker with the urn, Vader bomb, match end. Vader and Paul Bearer leave as new boyfriends. Taker chokeslams the referee, who sells it like a mannequin. 2.2 stars.
Next match was a 6 man tag between a bunch of Mexican nobodies. Pretty sure this was an early answer to WCW's cruiserweight division. This shit was terrible. If you think the crowds today are dead, they don't have shit on this. You also start to notice that jackass whistling again during this match. Anyway, one of the dudes botches his finisher (missed in completely).... but then drops a standard elbow and gets the pin. Negative 16 stars.
Rumble match starts out with Jailbird Crush and Ahmed Johnson. Farooq comes out and Ahmed eliminates himself to chase him down like a jackass. Stone Cold comes out and starts whooping ass on Crush, Bart Gunn, etc. The clock or that countdown are noticeably broken during the first 7 entrances or so. Austin eliminates Jake the Snake and throws his snake out the ring onto him. LOL! Even though 1997 was still recovery mode, you could tell the WWF roster was shallow. A lot of wrestlers who already wrestled earlier as well as outside no name talent. Bleh. Bret tosses Austin out but the refs don't see it. He comes back in and eliminates Vader, Taker, and Bret. Crowd is heated! Was an OK Rumble, but still the best one in a few years.
Shawn Michaels vs. Sid for the title: Michaels comes out with his broken mirrors outfit and that dickface is whistling AGAIN. And proving that they're doing it just to be annoying, they do it while Sid is coming out as well, the whole fucking time. It would have been a fight if I was in that crowd. Match starts and dude is still whistling. I know he had to have been a Republican. Michaels took a backdrop to the outside that looked just like the one he took in the casket match that ended his career until 2003. The match was simple, but exciting. Ends with a referee knock down, Michaels hitting Sid with a camera (payback), and the Sweet Chin Music. When the match ends, we continue to hear the Whistle Fag. Nothing exciting after the match, just Michaels celebrating with family, the crowd, the announcers. If you can tune out the whistle-fuck, it was a nice main event. I couldn't and got a headache. So 0 stars. And I shit you not, after the PPV recap, the last thing you hear when the picture fades out is goddamn whistling.
All in all, don't watch this. Which leads me to regretting typing all of this. Fuck whistling.