"It's really hard to explain the facts to someone in person especially when you have your child standing there," she added. (Ryland has a sister, Brynley, who turns 3 in a couple of weeks.)
Obama makes historic 'transgender' reference in SOTU
They lost a few friends, but learned that the people who stuck with them are the ones who really matter.
Facing judgments, questions and criticisms
When I ask about the judgments, questions and criticisms that Hillary and her family have faced, she said she didn't want to "go there" because "it brings out a lot of pain."
A few minutes later in our conversation, as she talked about the support they received from Ryland's kindergarten teacher and the rest of the school district, she couldn't really hold back the tears.
"I think for all these parents, the reason why it's so hard," she said, as she apologized for getting emotional, "is because you worry about their safety. It's a safety concern. I think that's why I struggle still. I just hope that we're doing the right thing."
What drives her, she said, is first and foremost protecting Ryland, making his childhood as typical as possible and loving him unconditionally.
After that, she hopes by being public and vocal about Ryland's story she can help educate people and provide hope to other families.
"As difficult as this is, the more people will talk about it and share their stories and be willing to risk their privacy ... I think the more we're going to help people understand that this isn't some weird thing," said Hillary.
What not to say to a transgender person
"It's a lot more common than you even think. It's just that people are afraid to talk about it," she added.
"I just feel the need to talk to these parents and help them get on board with this because the longer you wait, if you let these kids go through the wrong puberty, you are really putting their lives in jeopardy and that's really why I'm doing this, because I'm trying to really save these kids."
A new calling
Two years into their journey, Hillary said they are still in the "thick of things." They still haven't officially changed the gender on Ryland's birth certificate and the middle name he was given when he was born, she said.
Thankfully, his birth name, Ryland, does not need to be changed. "It's so awesome that it's a gender neutral name."
Moving forward, there will be more challenges, she concedes, including working with doctors on what to do to block puberty and deciding at which age to start administering cross-hormones.
Beyond that, it really is an individual choice regarding whether a transgender person will change their anatomy. "Some transgender people are very accepting of their bodies that they were born with and it's really not a source of distress for them so they don't feel the need to undergo surgical intervention," said Tando.
"Others have a really strong sense of gender dysphoria and so they feel like they really need to undergo some medical intervention to feel more comfortable in their own skin."
Hillary said they will cross that bridge when they get to it.
"At this point, we don't have any worries other than just to keep his world as happy and normal as we can."
From what you see in the film and the family's YouTube video, Ryland, now a 7-year-old first grader, seems like a happy and healthy boy. Last year at a diversity breakfast in honor of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay politician to be elected to public office in California, Ryland thanked his mom and dad for "letting me be who I want to be."
"I'm the happiest I've ever been in my whole life."
Hillary said she now knows what her calling is: fighting for Ryland and kids like him.
"I made a promise to Ryland that I would help and I would do something and obviously now that's my new journey," she said.
"I'm not afraid of what people can say because I know that the worst has already been said and really, at the end of the day, I know that ... eventually the naysayers will see that this really is OK and that we are doing the right thing."
Obama makes historic 'transgender' reference in SOTU
They lost a few friends, but learned that the people who stuck with them are the ones who really matter.
Facing judgments, questions and criticisms
When I ask about the judgments, questions and criticisms that Hillary and her family have faced, she said she didn't want to "go there" because "it brings out a lot of pain."
A few minutes later in our conversation, as she talked about the support they received from Ryland's kindergarten teacher and the rest of the school district, she couldn't really hold back the tears.
"I think for all these parents, the reason why it's so hard," she said, as she apologized for getting emotional, "is because you worry about their safety. It's a safety concern. I think that's why I struggle still. I just hope that we're doing the right thing."
What drives her, she said, is first and foremost protecting Ryland, making his childhood as typical as possible and loving him unconditionally.
After that, she hopes by being public and vocal about Ryland's story she can help educate people and provide hope to other families.
"As difficult as this is, the more people will talk about it and share their stories and be willing to risk their privacy ... I think the more we're going to help people understand that this isn't some weird thing," said Hillary.
What not to say to a transgender person
"It's a lot more common than you even think. It's just that people are afraid to talk about it," she added.
"I just feel the need to talk to these parents and help them get on board with this because the longer you wait, if you let these kids go through the wrong puberty, you are really putting their lives in jeopardy and that's really why I'm doing this, because I'm trying to really save these kids."
A new calling
Two years into their journey, Hillary said they are still in the "thick of things." They still haven't officially changed the gender on Ryland's birth certificate and the middle name he was given when he was born, she said.
Thankfully, his birth name, Ryland, does not need to be changed. "It's so awesome that it's a gender neutral name."
Moving forward, there will be more challenges, she concedes, including working with doctors on what to do to block puberty and deciding at which age to start administering cross-hormones.
Beyond that, it really is an individual choice regarding whether a transgender person will change their anatomy. "Some transgender people are very accepting of their bodies that they were born with and it's really not a source of distress for them so they don't feel the need to undergo surgical intervention," said Tando.
"Others have a really strong sense of gender dysphoria and so they feel like they really need to undergo some medical intervention to feel more comfortable in their own skin."
Hillary said they will cross that bridge when they get to it.
"At this point, we don't have any worries other than just to keep his world as happy and normal as we can."
From what you see in the film and the family's YouTube video, Ryland, now a 7-year-old first grader, seems like a happy and healthy boy. Last year at a diversity breakfast in honor of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay politician to be elected to public office in California, Ryland thanked his mom and dad for "letting me be who I want to be."
"I'm the happiest I've ever been in my whole life."
Hillary said she now knows what her calling is: fighting for Ryland and kids like him.
"I made a promise to Ryland that I would help and I would do something and obviously now that's my new journey," she said.
"I'm not afraid of what people can say because I know that the worst has already been said and really, at the end of the day, I know that ... eventually the naysayers will see that this really is OK and that we are doing the right thing."
