when the last time you threw up so hard you found religion?

[detcatinva]

this was about 2007. i went to visit my boy going to college down at kentucky state. we went to his nigga crib and he had some girls over and these fools were drinking this cheap vodka, cant even remember the name.

anyways im taking shots and last thing i remember was telling the bitch to stop putting her foot near my face or imma beat her ass.

woke up the next morning throw up everywhere. on my wife beater, on my draws, in my hair, all in the bed, on my socks. go to the bathroom threw everywhere in the bathroom except the toilet.

my nigga told me i got up in the middle of the night waking people up telling them im throwing up with it dripping from my mouth.

it was worse shit ever and it was nothing but pizza chunks. that was the last time i've thown up

 

[texas409]

lol funny thread title

 

[TheBoyRo]

Went to Jamaica a few yrs ago and had rum, vodka and tequila in a sitting and some eh tasting nachos. Went I sleep, work up and vomited it all, and every half an hr I had to go back to the bathroom and at one point, I was vomiting and shitting at the same time. I didnt know what substance I wanted in the toilet :-S

 

[fuc_i_look_like]

Thought I was dying one night after drinking in 2012.

I was begging God to help me. I don't even believe in God.

Haven't had hard liquor since.

Because of one bad experience, you aint drank liquor in 3 years?? Lmao ok

 

[Will Munny]

The only reason I don't remember is because I'm kind of a glutton for punishment and forget bad experiences only to relive them over and over. But I've vomited pretty bad, most of the time alcohol induced.

I sat on the toilet as a little kid once with a puke bucket on my lap and I literally shat and vomitted at the same damn time. That shit hurt my entire body. The vomit was super painful too.

 

[Shizlansky]

Thought I was dying one night after drinking in 2012.

I was begging God to help me. I don't even believe in God.

Haven't had hard liquor since.

Because of one bad experience, you aint drank liquor in 3 years?? Lmao ok

Nigga, I cussed my momma out bruh. My momma. Not some random women. Not my cousin but my momma.

 

[soul rattler]

One time I found out the truth behind organized religion and it damn near made me throw up.

Does that count?

 

[Max.]

Chiling in Bmore wit a cat who just got out. Drankin steel reserve. Homie wo 40s to the head and was still going. Trying hang, I did one and a qrt.

Woke up in the basement covered in vomit with a sock on my dick..

Stop drinking and became closer with gos

U got raped

Ic career over

 

[Max.]

My mom made chili cheese dogs,,, chili was from a can...ate

Woke up in bed leaned up..n sprayed orange ish red chili n chunks of hotdogs all over my blankets n legs shit was like a pool...my room smelled woat for 2 days..I threw my blanket away n sheets

 

[CeLLaR-DooR]

Mate I was with the lads and Daz a few weeks ago. Pre planned motive with the whole crew, a rarity I'm sure you can all relate to. So me Daz and Bob swing by the offie, bang a vodka, two roses and this mug Bob bought some Wrays. We forgot about Uncle Wray til we got to the club so we had to down that acidic, 80 odd percent nastiness.

I firmed it for a while. Met up with the rest of the lads (had to enter separately smh racist crackas). Ten minutes of clubbin' til Bob buys us all two shots each. I knew it would be curtains but the booze was already bought and I've got too much pride to swerve a drink in fronta my lil brother Daz so I backed the two shots and it was a fuckin' wrap.

Bob try leave me in the bathroom smh but Daz is a rookie so he wouldn't leave me. The way I puked up that bathroom fuckin' hell.

 

[CeLLaR-DooR]

Chiling in Bmore wit a cat who just got out. Drankin steel reserve. Homie wo 40s to the head and was still going. Trying hang, I did one and a qrt.

Woke up in the basement covered in vomit with a sock on my dick..

Stop drinking and became closer with gos

Rape or nah

 

[blacktux]

Had my first heroin based x pill in college.

I had been doing x for like 2 weeks, having the time of my life.

The high was the same, had a great night but in the morning i felt like a fucking fiend on withdrawal.

Cold sweats, dry heaving, itching and shit. I laid in my bed that whole day luckily my roomate bought me some light food.

Last time i did drugs.

 

[kzzl]

Came home one day and was hanging out with a neighbor. We roll to the store and get a bottle of Bourbon and some High Lifes. I remember something was special about that day. Pretty as hell outside, with a constant cool breeze. No drama on the streets. The hustlers getting they money, the fiends were all happy, everybody had food cooking at the house. Must of been the first on the month or some shit. A perfect day in the ghetto. So what started off as just us two chilling turned into a huge crowd of folks just having a good time.

The alcohol runs out and it's late afternoon. People start to go they separate ways. I dap the folks and take off to the apartment. On the way, I get the urge to shit, so I head straight for the bathroom once I get in.

I blinked... but when I opened my eyes there was vomit every where.

Still sitting on the toilet with my pants down I had vomit on me, on the counter, in the bathtub, on the floor, on the wall, with specks on the mirror. With the toilet water looking like I poured Yohoo milk in the bowl.

I'm in that bitch panicking. I was staying with a friend and his ol'lady at the time. I got up, pants all slushy, walked and opened the bathroom door. I see it isn't night time yet. My homie was off visiting his folks in a nearby town and his ol'lady didn't get off till late at night. He wasn't coming home till he picked up his chick. So I had time.

Pulled the clothes off, ran to the kitchen butt naked grabbing all the cleaning products and paper towels and trash bags we had. Pinesole, 409, Ajax, Bleach, baking soda, the mop, all that shit. We had that 6 pack of paper towels and one used roll was left when I was done. I threw that bitch away too for being affiliated with this fuckery. The mop and bucket got trashed as well. The store was right up the street, so I could replace all that in no time.

I had maybe two or three gallon sized trash bags. Slipped back into clothes right quick to take the trash out. I go outside some school bus was dropping off kids. Weird that late in the day, but whatever. I dumped the trash, turned around, and noticed that the neighbors were gone, probably had some event going on that night. Folks working late, running errands, nothing to think twice about.

I go back into the house. Feeling relieved, but guilty as hell. I planned to confess everything to them when they get back. Bathroom is clean as fuck like nothing happened, so they won't know how bad it was. Water under the bridge.

I calm down, get ready to shower up, but click the tv on before I do....Good Morning America is on.

^ ^ ^ Yep, that's pretty much how I reacted.

 

[Arya Tsaddiq]

My ex bull dog looking girlfriends (or whatever breed of dog @Pico called that bitch) mom fed me under cooked chicken. Came home that night and went to sleep for like 2 hours. Got up to go to the bathroom cause my stomach was fucked up, as soon as I sat down I stood up, lifted the seat up and just shot vomit from my mouth for a good 5 minutes it seemed. My mom I guess heard me and came lock picked the door and came into me hunched over the toilet like

. Man that shit was dark brown and I thought it was black and thought that this was the end for me. Got up shaking and shit dizzy as all hell.

Another time was after eating jack in the box, which was after I think, can't be sure though. Same thing happened for the most part and never ate there again. My mom is the GOAT for helping me both those times if she was there for under cooked chicken that is, I really can't remember.

I later started pouring my drink on the ground when I ate to show my thanks for the gods, old and new. Also fuck jack in the box. That bubble head having motherfucker is getting his throat slit if I see him on the streets

Hahahahahaha

 

[willywanker]

Chiling in Bmore wit a cgot out. Drankin steel reserve. Homie wo 40s to the head and was still going. Trying hang, I did one and a qrt.

Woke up in the basement covered in vomit with a sock on my dick..

Stop drinking and became closer with gos

Rape or nah

Lol....nah, he left way b4 I blacked out.

But you said you was drinking with a guy that just got out, by out I presume you mean jail? It's possible he raped you man.

 

[EyeofAsaru]

I've been eating mushrooms all my life then one day...

I ate some mushrooms and vomited so hard the acids in my stomach burned the tissue in my esophagus and made blood come out..It literally felt like i was going to die

Then a psychic told me that my unborn twin daughters were allergic to mushrooms and that they would make me violently ill until I birthed them..

After that for a week...my own cell phone # called me every morning at 3 a.m

Hows that for a "religious" experience?

I want "god" to explain this muthafuckin paranormal activity shit

 

[Arya Tsaddiq]

I've been eating mushrooms all my life then one day...

I ate some mushrooms and vomited so hard the acids in my stomach burned the tissue in my esophagus and made blood come out..It literally felt like i was going to die

Then a psychic told me that my unborn twin daughters were allergic to mushrooms and that they would make me violently ill until I birthed them..

After that for a week...my own cell phone # called me every morning at 3 a.m

Hows that for a "religious" experience?

I want "god" to explain this muthafuckin paranormal activity shit

Hold up...

You're a woman?

 

[EyeofAsaru]

I've been eating mushrooms all my life then one day...

I ate some mushrooms and vomited so hard the acids in my stomach burned the tissue in my esophagus and made blood come out..It literally felt like i was going to die

Then a psychic told me that my unborn twin daughters were allergic to mushrooms and that they would make me violently ill until I birthed them..

After that for a week...my own cell phone # called me every morning at 3 a.m

Hows that for a "religious" experience?

I want "god" to explain this muthafuckin paranormal activity shit

Hold up...

You're a woman?

No I'm a man lol

I know I know...that story sounds krazy AF..but its true

..my girl vomited from eating mushrooms too

 

[KingFreeman]

Since I was little I've always mumbled "Jesus Christ latter day saints" when throwing up or when I got the shits. No idea why I say it or what that even means it just stuck. *shrugs*

 

[nickel-us P]

Shit man. I was Jesus last halloween. had all types of bitches running up tryna get a blessing lol.

Spent 3 nights next to the toilet was covinced the most high was punishing me for blessing whores.