When it comes to relationships how much focus should be put on the past ?

[h8rhurta]

You're right everyone does have a past, but there are varying degrees of what is acceptable in ones past and what isnt. You'll be hard pressed to find a girl w/o so one cant expect to be wifin a virgin, but when a girl has slept with half the apartment complex then there is a problem. Everyone is different but if my girl has a large partner count, or a very slutty past then thats a deal breaker for me. Cant be introducing no smut to the fam

Ok I can understand your POV. But what does your past look like? If you're going to question every woman you meet about how many men she's been with and believe or expect to get a real number you'll forever be single. What if the number of women in your past isn't acceptable to them? So if you're not asking this within the first few dates, you're setting yourself up for trouble. What's a reasonable number for you to consider bring a chick around the fam?

 

[mryounggun]

I'm not big on double-standards, and I know I've done far more nasty shit with far more woman that any woman I've ever dated. So...it is what it is.

 

[-Vincenzo-]

lol..and you're supposed to be a Christian?

like i said god gives you another chance TO GET TO HEAVEN. not to get rich even though you dropped out of school, not to become a professional athlete even though you are 43, not to have a husband/wife even though you did double digits etc. we should be thankful we get a new chance for our soul to be saved, but our body will stay the same, it is what it is.

if you read the story of job you will see how the devil asks god to let him take everything away from job his family, his wealth, his health just to test if his belief in god is strong enough. because you shouldn't be in it for something like that, period.

for example jesus says if you were married you are not allowed to marry again. a lot of churches do it like that and i think it's right. you should be held accountable for your actions. do the crime, do the time.

 

[knockoutking]

Ok I can understand your POV. But what does your past look like? If you're going to question every woman you meet about how many men she's been with and believe or expect to get a real number you'll forever be single. What if the number of women in your past isn't acceptable to them? So if you're not asking this within the first few dates, you're setting yourself up for trouble. What's a reasonable number for you to consider bring a chick around the fam?

From my experience women seem to be more attracted tomen who have had multiple partners, or have that whole "player" persona. Not to say that They are necessarily attracted to the player part but more so the confidence, assertive, alpha characteristics that are associated with it. The exact opposite is true of men though, we view the same player/slutty persona in a woman as being a negative attribute. Its usually the most beta of males who fall for the slutty/player chick and thats only because she gave him attention when no other girl would. Give any girl the option of the Virgin.Wholesome Christian boy vs the Player/Mr. I-Dont-Give-A-Fuck and 90% of women will go for option two. Switch it around and give a man the option of the virgin wholsome girl vs the slutty wild chick and again I would say roughly 90% of the dudes would wife the virgin chick that no man has ran through. To me that is how the whole double standards thing works: If a person has a key that can open multiple locks, its considered a master key. If a person has a lock that multiple key holders can unlock, then its a shitty lock. Double standards?

 

[frostyicy]

if you find god you get born again true - but it's your soul that is re-born my friend not your flesh. you get a chance to go to heaven that's what it is about, it is definitely not about wiping out the consequences regarding your life on this earth. if i am in jail and find god, they ain't gonna let me out cause i do so. and it's only fair, i will still get a chance to go to heaven even though i sinned and this is the good part and the only thing it is about.

it was my dream to be a professional boxer but i should have started out as an early teen and now it's just too late. my body ain't the same as the one of a 13 year old, i can pray as much as i want...and if you were a slut you ain't gonna have a clean body again, it's still defiled and it's still disgusting. you will never be able to remove the disgrace from your body, it is what it is.

and a person that becomes a christian because he/she thinks now they get free, become rich, get a man/woman whatever got something seriously wrong. it's about getting a new chance in the aftermath, it's not about the few years you spend on here.

'Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.'

I don't agree with any of that. I think you took my quote outta context the way I meant it. I wasn't even speaking from a religious standpoint, it was based on religious jargon yet it is relevant to everyday people.

"Every sinner has a future, and every saint has a past"

That saying basically means that in the end all of us are equal. Sure a girl could be a "slut" right now, yet that doesn't mean that she can't get that promiscuity outta her system in the future, and be an monogamous wife. And sure a female can be an monogamous wife now, yet that doesn't mean that she wasn't a "slut" in the past.

That's what I meant by that statement. Its just a natural cycle, whereas past and future are really non existent, we should all be living in the right now. Not judging people based on their past.

Crazy thing is the same men who say women can't be wifey material cuz they were "sluts" in the past, are the same guys who say that it is wrong for employers to judge and ex-convict based on his criminal past.

Where is the justice in that?

 

[Copper]

From my experience women seem to be more attracted tomen who have had multiple partners, or have that whole "player" persona. Not to say that They are necessarily attracted to the player part but more so the confidence, assertive, alpha characteristics that are associated with it. The exact opposite is true of men though, we view the same player/slutty persona in a woman as being a negative attribute. Its usually the most beta of males who fall for the slutty/player chick and thats only because she gave him attention when no other girl would. Give any girl the option of the Virgin.Wholesome Christian boy vs the Player/Mr. I-Dont-Give-A-Fuck and 90% of women will go for option two. Switch it around and give a man the option of the virgin wholsome girl vs the slutty wild chick and again I would say roughly 90% of the dudes would wife the virgin chick that no man has ran through. To me that is how the whole double standards thing works: If a person has a key that can open multiple locks, its considered a master key. If a person has a lock that multiple key holders can unlock, then its a shitty lock. Double standards?

nice way of putting it......c/s

 

[NothingButTheTruth]

Every sinner has a future and every saint has a past....

Past is in the past and thats where it needs to stay. Live in the now.

This, UNLESS her past affects the now in some way. Like a STD or something.

 

[frostyicy]

If a person has a key that can open multiple locks, its considered a master key. If a person has a lock that multiple key holders can unlock, then its a shitty lock. Double standards?

Now thats deeper than a muhfucka!!!!!!

 

[Mindstarter]

From my experience women seem to be more attracted tomen who have had multiple partners, or have that whole "player" persona. Not to say that They are necessarily attracted to the player part but more so the confidence, assertive, alpha characteristics that are associated with it. The exact opposite is true of men though, we view the same player/slutty persona in a woman as being a negative attribute. Its usually the most beta of males who fall for the slutty/player chick and thats only because she gave him attention when no other girl would. Give any girl the option of the Virgin.Wholesome Christian boy vs the Player/Mr. I-Dont-Give-A-Fuck and 90% of women will go for option two. Switch it around and give a man the option of the virgin wholsome girl vs the slutty wild chick and again I would say roughly 90% of the dudes would wife the virgin chick that no man has ran through. To me that is how the whole double standards thing works: If a person has a key that can open multiple locks, its considered a master key. If a person has a lock that multiple key holders can unlock, then its a shitty lock. Double standards?

If this is the case then strip clubs should be empty....a lot of men support hoeish behavior..

 

[Go figure...]

of course a persons past matters. If it didnt why do employers look at resumes when considering a person for a job? Because a persons past and experience will tell you a lot about them, thus making it relevant when considering possible relationship partners. I will say though, the underlying drive behind it is insecurity. You fear of a poor relationship or possible negative outcomes that may arise from dating a girl with a poor record, which is understandable imo. As the old saying goes, better to be safe than sorry. There are girls who are g/f material but for the most part they are pretty boring, then there are those who arent but are super fun. Take your pick, each side has its drawbacks, its up to you to decide where you are in life.

yea some ppl have records and cant get a job even tho they put their past behind them and are nowhere near criminal. better safe than sorry, of course, but u can still be missin out on a great dedicated worker over someone with no record n is lazy as shit.

 

[Hendrix]

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior breh. Basic history lesson.

 

[frostyicy]

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior breh. Basic history lesson.

Nah can't co-sign this.

 

[Go figure...]

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior breh. Basic history lesson.

so ur tellin me u never did sum fucked up shit in ur life that caused u to change for the better??

how else do ppl learn other than from watching others' mistakes?? by making their own.

of course its good to know a person's past to see where their comin from cuz thats what makes them who they are today.

now if they did some shit in the past that u dont agree with, and they feel there was nothin wrong with their actions/decisions then i can see why u would use their past to decide not to be with them. thats when its reasonable....imo

 

[-Vincenzo-]

I don't agree with any of that. I think you took my quote outta context the way I meant it. I wasn't even speaking from a religious standpoint, it was based on religious jargon yet it is relevant to everyday people.

"Every sinner has a future, and every saint has a past"

That saying basically means that in the end all of us are equal. Sure a girl could be a "slut" right now, yet that doesn't mean that she can't get that promiscuity outta her system in the future, and be an monogamous wife. And sure a female can be an monogamous wife now, yet that doesn't mean that she wasn't a "slut" in the past.

That's what I meant by that statement. Its just a natural cycle, whereas past and future are really non existent, we should all be living in the right now. Not judging people based on their past.

Crazy thing is the same men who say women can't be wifey material cuz they were "sluts" in the past, are the same guys who say that it is wrong for employers to judge and ex-convict based on his criminal past.

Where is the justice in that?

you were using religious terminology, that's why i pointed out that religion/christianity is about the afterlife not about getting something on this earth in return for being a christian.

i thought you were talking about a religious standpoint which would be an aspect i didn't see discussed here before. if this is not the case i think there isn't anything that wasn't said here in one of the other countless threads bout this topic. same goes for double standards.

this is all you need to know:

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior breh. Basic history lesson.

i'm out...