Nate Parker: This is hard; I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this. Not everyone has the best intentions. I thought I was giving the interview, at the time of those two interviews–and one really just bit off the other–I didn’t know the status of the women. I didn’t know. I was acting as if I was the victim, and that’s wrong. I was acting as if I was the victim because I felt like, my only thought was I’m innocent and everyone needs to know. I didn’t even think for a second about her, not even for a second.
You asked me why I wasn’t empathetic? Why didn’t it come off more empathetic? Because I wasn’t being empathetic. Why didn’t it come off more contrite? Because I wasn’t being contrite. Maybe I was being even arrogant. And learning about her passing shook me, it really did. It really shook me.
Nate Parker: This is hard; I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this. Not everyone has the best intentions. I thought I was giving the interview, at the time of those two interviews–and one really just bit off the other–I didn’t know the status of the women. I didn’t know. I was acting as if I was the victim, and that’s wrong. I was acting as if I was the victim because I felt like, my only thought was I’m innocent and everyone needs to know. I didn’t even think for a second about her, not even for a second.
You asked me why I wasn’t empathetic? Why didn’t it come off more empathetic? Because I wasn’t being empathetic. Why didn’t it come off more contrite? Because I wasn’t being contrite. Maybe I was being even arrogant. And learning about her passing shook me, it really did. It really shook me.
EBONY.com: Had you thought about her and this incident over the last 17 years?
Nate Parker: No, I had not. I hadn’t thought about it at all.
EBONY.com: That’s going to come off very…privileged.
Nate Parker: It is! Listen to me when I say I’m understanding that I’m dealing with a problem, like an addiction. Just like you can be addicted to White Supremacy and all of the benefits, you can be addicted to male privilege and all of the benefits that comes from it. It’s like someone pointing at you and you have a stain on your shirt and you don’t even know it.
I’m a work in progress. I’m trying to be better. I feel remorse for all the women that are survivors that felt I was being insensitive because I was. And I want to have a better understanding of how I can be more of an ally, if they’ll accept me. There will be people who won’t accept me, and that’s okay. All I can do is say that I stand for justice and really learn more about this issue so I can be a better ally of this issue.
EBONY.com: I think people might come to a place–maybe not of acceptance–but you mentioned tonight that you want to be a leader. So I think if you took this situation and went to campuses to talk to men and women around sex, drinking, and consent, people would come to see that you’re trying, that you’re genuine.
Nate Parker: This is the first step. You will know my commitment by the next few steps.
EBONY.com: Like a lot of Black men who are “woke,” you’re very comfortable talking about race, and for people like me (Black women), we have to be well-versed in both race and gender…
Nate Parker: How many Black men you know that are talking about gender?
EBONY.com: There are some.
Nate Parker: But how many that have the platform? Like I said, this thing has resurfaced and people are like, “This is weird, this timing…” and I said, you know what? It’s here now.
EBONY.com: So you’re not the conspiracy theory guy? Like, they’re just trying to kill this story about Nat Turner?
Nate Parker: No. I’m like, it’s here now. And I’m going to celebrate Nat Turner and if he’s a leader who inspires me, I gotta face injustices in my own community. I gotta face my past, whether it be 17 years ago or 17 minutes ago. I gotta be able to look at it and say, well, you know, I have engaged in hyper-male culture, and I’m learning about it, and I’m learning how I can change and help young boys and young men change.
Race I’ve been studying since I knew there was a problem with race and that I was Black and something was wrong. Gender, is very new to me. All I can say is this is something that I’m going to take hold of and pray about it. I’m going to soul-search, I’m going to talk to people like you, and I’m going to talk to people who know more than I do. Because when it comes to race, what do I do? I call people like Harry Belafonte. So when you talk about Roxane Gay, when you talk about Maiysha Kai, I’m open to criticism. I don’t want to be a leader that is one-dimensional or two-dimensional because he’s not willing to be open.
EBONY.com: A lot of people are going to say, hmmm, he wants to be a leader. Because nobody really says they want to be a leader, but you’re saying this in terms of leading change?
Nate Parker: Yeah. Every role I’ve ever taken, I said I want to be clear I’m not going to do anything that denigrates our experience, that’s going to speak power into our community. So when this thing surfaced…”healing comes from honest confrontation,” Maiysha Kai said that. And you can print this, I took those words to heart. She’s right. So I’m going to honestly confront this. This is all I can do. I’m not perfect, I’m a flawed man, but I’m willing to try to get better, I’m willing to listen. I’m willing to take input from people who are living it everyday.
So like you said, it’s been two weeks, but it’s been a long two weeks. But I refuse to look at this like a victim. I’m going to look at this as someone, okay, this is a flaw in me that needs to be changed, something that needs to be dealt with. And it’s bigger than some small technicality. There are people in my life, and people outside my life, that need to know there are people at least talking about it. If I can use my platform to affect change in gender, as I can in race, then I think I can have an impact. This is not the end-all, it’s a work in progress. And I say that humbly as a person that has literally been humbled into really reassessing his ideas and thoughts.
One last thing, and I want to be clear on this, this is very, very important. Homophobia. I said some comments in 2014 and regardless of the actual words, in the same way conversations around consent have changed, conversation around homosexuality and LGBT…I’m continuously learning more and more. Five years ago, two years ago, ten years ago…just like some people think racism is if you say the n-word, so homophobia is if you call someone [he abruptly ended the sentence.] The fact that I said I wouldn’t wear a dress, or that I’m not interested in gay roles, I can see now that was being exclusionary. It was being insensitive, and it was being homophobic. And guess what? I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everyone who ever read similar comments or just got wind that something was said. I’m growing in my understanding in my relationships with [the] LGBT [community]. I had to ask people I know like, is this homophobic? A couple people said yeah. And I was like, oh.
So every day I’m reassessing what I’ve been taught against what I see, and the man I need to be if I’m going to call myself a leader of anybody. So like I said, for the women out there that I’ve hurt with my male privilege, I’m sorry. For the men that identify with whatever they identify with, I retract my comments, and I’m sorry. I hope they can forgive me for those attitudes and behaviors. And like I said, this is a step of one of many, many, many, many steps I need to take toward a lot of things that will refine me and make me better suited for leading anyone out of any place of injustice to a place of justice. I got work to do. I got a lot of work to do within myself.
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