So you thought it was going to last forever...?

[think]

Did you ever feel like cutting an ex off was like losing a best friend though? Took me a while to completely rid of my ex, once you share a number of years together, you have all the same memories and things, it's tough to let go like that when you're on that level. Not that I don't think it's the right decision, because it is. But then It's a complicated one because sometimes it might be better to chalk up the loss to the relationship and work on your friendship because you appreciate that few people understand you like they do... that's just a question, not saying I stand by that...

Of course I did. But it's gotta be done. Friends come and go don't they? Plus, in a sick way, it made me feel better that it crushed her more that I didn't let her hang me. I know this because she said reminded me that we were friends first. The way I look at it is I want to burn all the memories and start anew. Because the next love only gets better and you want to come to her with a pure heart. You feel me?

Also my thinking comes from the fact that men and women CANNOT be just friends.

Did she just take advantage of your kindness?

Previous girls did when I was in my early 20's. I'm 28 now had a birthday last Friday. Wassup to the poster who recently had a bday!

I think it's human nature. Plus I'm starting to believe that woman are just incredible liars. Whether it's a big lie or a white lie, if you let them get away with it they will see how much more they can get away with. Their hearts are in the right place sometimes in that they don't want to offend, but fuck, quit playing riddles ya know?

I'm at the crossroads right now in terms of going the player route. Truth be told, I'm not a player but the way these women are nowadays, I might as well have my fun and not get married. I hold traditional morals like you claim you do, so what can you tell me?

 

[think]

I'm an older poster. Matter of fact had a birthday recently. I was in a long term relationship call marriage and not just of the short variety. In the end it was different perspectives on life. I'm always trying to get to the next level as far as education, career, life experiences and she was just content with being comfortable. In the beginning I thought it was going to last because of the facade that was put up by her. She is not a bad person at all but she didn't know herself. She pretended to be what I wanted and as time went on she showed her true colors. Before we broke up we had a discussion on this and I told her how disappointed I was that she 'pretended' to be what she had no desire to be.

That sucks. See that's why I firmly believe that everything falls apart, especially by today's living standards. It's not like our parents' generation where it was easy and there was birth control.

I ask you and other posters, what's the best way to get a girl to show her true colors from jump? You could lay out all the cards on the table but that comes off as coming too strong to some. I guess you just gotta gamble with time? In my experience, the best way to know a girl is through her past relationships, info from her friends and family. Info from her friends and family won't lie. In short, a bitch gotta have references.

 

[think]

My friend, she is finally a free woman. She is enjoying life but hints at wanting to be with me. She has her own path to take and is focused on that. We don't know if we will have a chance to develop the friendship that we have to the next level. I would take it there if/when the time is right. She is the measuring stick for other women that come in my life. She so far embodies what I look for in a woman.

Ayo, I'm in a similar situation. My lady friend stuck by me through the hard times, and I ain't fuck her yet out of respect. She's shown a lot of signs that she wants to try something. Problem is she's 8 years older than me and wants marriage and kids asap. She's also reaching menopause. She's perfect for me, it's just the age, her parents, etc. It's another case where she's perfect but the circumstances are all wrong. You gonna keep yours around? I'm gonna cut mine off before serious feelings occur.

 

[**2sweet**]

How's he doing and how long has he been doing it for? Maybe that's what he needs to do to get back on track. He should come back fully recharged.

I dont know how long hes going to do it, but it seems like he wants to take a looong break away from everything thats what worries me. From the outside looking in, he has it all, a really powerful position, just brought a brand new audi, but he seems unhappy on the inside i really feel for him, cuz when he hurts, I hurt..but I know he will get through it. He just needs to find the right people to be around, people he can trust.

but on the topic, I tried my hardest to hold on to the first guy that I have ever had strong feelings for but I'm not the kinda girl to say emotional I would show it through my actions, I was very thoughful towards him, but could never really let my guard down because he hurt me so many times. I just cut off all contact never spoke to him again. I thought that I could see myself with him, but I know I deserve better and that there is a better man out there who will appreciate my kindness

 

[edwardnigma]

That sucks. See that's why I firmly believe that everything falls apart, especially by today's living standards. It's not like our parents' generation where it was easy and there was birth control.

I ask you and other posters, what's the best way to get a girl to show her true colors from jump? You could lay out all the cards on the table but that comes off as coming too strong to some. I guess you just gotta gamble with time? In my experience, the best way to know a girl is through her past relationships, info from her friends and family. Info from her friends and family won't lie. In short, a bitch gotta have references.

I agree, you need to check the references. When you get older like 25 and up and you have to be wise about who you date. Nowadays it is so easy to communicate and meet different people, temptation is intense. With that being said I don't think it's realistic to think 2 people will really be loyal to each other in this culture. I believe friendships is the way to go.

My last relationship was my most serious. We lived together for a year, always hung out and were pretty inseperable.I was definatley in love, it ended late last year.I loved the hell out of her but I'm doing just fine, I dont look on her fb, nor do I desire to. I don't plan on dating her again and I'm looking forward to being in more relationships.

Yet while I thought she and I could last til we died, well I wanted she and I to last til we died. Well it didnt and I don't think my next one will either but I want to have fun and I'm not jaded. I don't see myself ever trying that hard to keep a relationship together either.I'm way more laid back now, whatever happens happens, cause I already experienced love and it was cool. I'm down to do it again, I'm game, just not with the same chic.

It's cool when you really make a connection. After that connection you just gotta go with the flow.

 

[think]

I dont know how long hes going to do it, but it seems like he wants to take a looong break away from everything thats what worries me. From the outside looking in, he has it all, a really powerful position, just brought a brand new audi, but he seems unhappy on the inside i really feel for him, cuz when he hurts, I hurt..but I know he will get through it. He just needs to find the right people to be around, people he can trust.

I'm sure he knows what he's doing. Did you let him know that if he ever needs anything that he can contact you? It just goes to show you that even if you have a blossoming career and material wealth, you'll always be unhappy within. He'll come back fully recharged, he's just on temporary hiatus.

but on the topic, I tried my hardest to hold on to the first guy that I have ever had strong feelings for but I'm not the kinda girl to say emotional I would show it through my actions, I was very thoughful towards him, but could never really let my guard down because he hurt me so many times. I just cut off all contact never spoke to him again. I thought that I could see myself with him, but I know I deserve better and that there is a better man out there who will appreciate my kindness

You can only try as much as the other person is willing for you. I had to learn that the hard way. If it's all you then it's not worth it. Did you tell him that you're bad with words? I had a girl who was bad with words and she would often dedicate songs to me to compensate. Good to hear about you being positive. You will find him, it's just a matter of when.

 

[think]

forever is a beautiful concept to believe in, but sometimes one or both people involved don't live up to what it takes to make that a reality. love is great and wonderful and all it's made out to be, but when you're not careful with it, it can turn on you. imo, letting life experiences jade you is not making you stronger or wiser, it just turns your heart harder. i'm so lucky to have true love in my life, and i know nothing is guaranteed, but i have to believe that it can last and work with that in mind otherwise there's not much hope that it will.

It's like Pascal's wager. You'd rather have hope and believe and find out you're wrong than not to believe and live in misery.

Hope it works out for you. Be careful with it.

 

[Coby Vibes]

This is my longest relationship. 11 years. I dont think about whether it will be forever or not because that will distract you from enjoying the present. Each of my previous relationships that ended is to prepare me for the next one (which may or may not be the last)

they all taught me something, I am a better person for it. many are still my friends so I am not bitter which has helped me maintain this relationship so long.

 

[think]

I agree, you need to check the references. When you get older like 25 and up and you have to be wise about who you date. Nowadays it is so easy to communicate and meet different people, temptation is intense. With that being said I don't think it's realistic to think 2 people will really be loyal to each other in this culture. I believe friendships is the way to go.

And you know what's fucked up? You will still never truly know her past. She's only as good as what she tells you. Trust me, everyone has secrets. For some people, they'd rather not know the secret.

I agree friendships is the way to go with the intention of taking it there. When your friends, there's less pressure and she shows her true colors whether she's a smut or not.

My last relationship was my most serious. We lived together for a year, always hung out and were pretty inseperable.I was definatley in love, it ended late last year.I loved the hell out of her but I'm doing just fine, I dont look on her fb, nor do I desire to. I don't plan on dating her again and I'm looking forward to being in more relationships.

Yet while I thought she and I could last til we died, well I wanted she and I to last til we died. Well it didnt and I don't think my next one will either but I want to have fun and I'm not jaded. I don't see myself ever trying that hard to keep a relationship together either.I'm way more laid back now, whatever happens happens, cause I already experienced love and it was cool. I'm down to do it again, I'm game, just not with the same chic.

Same, my last relationship was true love. She was smart actually because I wanted to see her everyday. She said, let's let some time pass because I don't want you to get sick of me. That was real shit! I'ma be so careful next time. Hopefully not too careful to the point where I lose her.

It's cool when you really make a connection. After that connection you just gotta go with the flow.

You gotta go with the flow but make sure not to go too slow or fast. You might lose em. Timing has to be perfect and all other conditions. Timing can fuck things up.

 

[think]

definitely, and i hope it works out also. i'll put my best effort forward so even if it doesn't work out i can have solace in that fact. i also hope no matter what i can maintain a positive outlook towards love

That's a healthy attitude.

May I ask you from a female's perspective. What's the best way to find out she's really who she is and isn't a liar. How can you gauge the integrity of her heart?

I know females put you through tests, but that's another story lol.

 

[**2sweet**]

I'm sure he knows what he's doing. Did you let him know that if he ever needs anything that he can contact you? It just goes to show you that even if you have a blossoming career and material wealth, you'll always be unhappy within. He'll come back fully recharged, he's just on temporary hiatus.

Yeah he knows if he needs anything that I'm there, especially emotional, im really close to him so seeing him, happy will make me happy, but I hope its just temporary it seems like hes just given up..but he will be ok

You can only try as much as the other person is willing for you. I had to learn that the hard way. If it's all you then it's not worth it. Did you tell him that you're bad with words? I had a girl who was bad with words and she would often dedicate songs to me to compensate. Good to hear about you being positive. You will find him, it's just a matter of when.

Im not really bad with words..i would just say that I'm too laid back. I've been through alot, so alot of things dont bother me. Its just I think that he knew how I felt, because I would tell him all the time that if he needs anythings that Im here for him and I felt like he thought that I was always going to be there, so he could do what he wants and I will be here waiting.., so i felt like I was playing myself. but yeah it was just time to close that chapter...it was like a breaking point.

 

[think]

This is my longest relationship. 11 years. I dont think about whether it will be forever or not because that will distract you from enjoying the present. Each of my previous relationships that ended is to prepare me for the next one (which may or may not be the last)

they all taught me something, I am a better person for it. many are still my friends so I am not bitter which has helped me maintain this relationship so long.

I agree with just being in the moment, but there's a fine line where you have to hold back a little and take things slow to build the foundations and protect yourself. There's just no way to go about things and it's all a gamble.

Unless you're an old nigga, props for making it to 11 years. People change from high school to adulthood and that's a testament to a strong bond.

 

[Stew]

What happened to that relationship which caused it to end?
Why did you think that particular relationship would last?
Do you think you'll feel that same way about someone in the future? If you have already, did it surprise you?

I waited too long to commit. When I did, it wasnt enough. She eventually found someone else to simp her

I figured I had her wrapped around my finger forever. I did for 5 years

No idea, I hope tho

As far as the future for me, shits gonna be tough. Ive always been kinda hard on women from seeing what happened to my parents and friends. Add that to how my ex did me, being picky and selfish Im doomed lol If I ever find someone I wanna "be with" Ill still have a guard up for a good while at least unfortunately. I dont wanna be single forever tho, Ive already been through that stage of sleeping with alot of women and this dating shit is for the birds, not to mention expensive. Id rather be able to just kick it with one girl, finding that one is probably gonna be an issue tho. Thank God Im a patient dude.

 

[JadaRoss]

.................................................