Sirens

[Azekiel-Horizon]

First off this was a deep poem you did a good job explaining the deeper meaning behind the sirens. I feel as if you were saying that were like a wake up call or something. Also you displayed nice imagery through this poem for example these lines were vivid and deep :

I rubbed my eyes gently, only to see a wall of blue,

I looked down at my feet to notice that I’m wearing running shoes,

Shortly after my fear struck me, I shiver & I start to run fast,

I glance over my shoulder as I run this predictable path,

Some people call it destiny, I call it unlucky,

This was a great deep piece keep dropping poetic gems like this one

 

[stupot0607]

First off this was a deep poem you did a good job explaining the deeper meaning behind the sirens. I feel as if you were saying that were like a wake up call or something. Also you displayed nice imagery through this poem for example these lines were vivid and deep :

I rubbed my eyes gently, only to see a wall of blue,

I looked down at my feet to notice that I’m wearing running shoes,

Shortly after my fear struck me, I shiver & I start to run fast,

I glance over my shoulder as I run this predictable path,

Some people call it destiny, I call it unlucky,

This was a great deep piece keep dropping poetic gems like this one

Props for the Feedback Azekiel, Glad you enjoyed it man.

 

[RuffDraft]

Mad props Stupot, enjoyed this piece, again another gem :tu

Definitely nice throughout and like Azekiel says, the imagery was very vivid in my mind when I was reading and I caught onto the concept real early 'cos I know you from other parts of the board... The Essence, *cough*

I thought that was slick what you did there, you created a pace throughout your day that's hard to erase until night time when the loud sirens go off and remove you from the busy life to the correspondence of your pillow. Slick, slick, poem. Basically because it's an alarming day to an alarming night... the panic was present throughout... and something that you played with in terms of running shoes etc.

You should keep writing, there's never a better time to write than when you're trying to sort out your next route in life. Keep writing and droppin' 'em!

 

[stupot0607]

Mad props Stupot, enjoyed this piece, again another gem :tu

Definitely nice throughout and like Azekiel says, the imagery was very vivid in my mind when I was reading and I caught onto the concept real early 'cos I know you from other parts of the board... The Essence, *cough*

I thought that was slick what you did there, you created a pace throughout your day that's hard to erase until night time when the loud sirens go off and remove you from the busy life to the correspondence of your pillow. Slick, slick, poem. Basically because it's an alarming day to an alarming night... the panic was present throughout... and something that you played with in terms of running shoes etc.

You should keep writing, there's never a better time to write than when you're trying to sort out your next route in life. Keep writing and droppin' 'em!

Thanks Draft, Much appreciated as usual.

Haha nice subliminal IC messaging **Cough** The Essence. I Wrote this poem pretty fast actually, i had a basis which i saved as a draft text message on my phone. thew it on my pc and played around. but it took like 45 minutes to peice to together. I knew i had to end it on going to sleep and still hearing sirens, make it like a 360 poem. i did try to set the scene and tone for this aswell, so im glad you noticed.

i kept thinking of Ghostface & Jada's Run instrumental when i started writing and it drove me mad (Classic song though) haha

Infact im gonna post it

[video=youtube;FfXeUZhma1g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfXeUZhma1g[/video]

 

[RuffDraft]

Thanks Draft, Much appreciated as usual.

Haha nice subliminal IC messaging **Cough** The Essence. I Wrote this poem pretty fast actually, i had a basis which i saved as a draft text message on my phone. thew it on my pc and played around. but it took like 45 minutes to peice to together. I knew i had to end it on going to sleep and still hearing sirens, make it like a 360 poem. i did try to set the scene and tone for this aswell, so im glad you noticed.

i kept thinking of Ghostface & Jada's Run instrumental when i started writing and it drove me mad (Classic song though) haha

Infact im gonna post it

[video=youtube;FfXeUZhma1g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfXeUZhma1g[/video]

haha that is a good instrumental, definitely something that could inspire such a piece and most def a classic beat/track. This was after the Pretty Toney Album though right? I thought that album was incredible. Big fan of Ghost's flow.

Nice, you should definitely keep runnin' with it, definitely went through your phase of wanting to read more poetry, in fact I have some books with love poems on my iPad, but they went over my head or were overly pathetically loved up. I prefer I.C. poems that are more real.

Good concept though and definitely keep writing!!

 

[Tupacfan]

man, ya'll making me proud

Good to see poets around here dropping some gems..

you painted an image with your words in this jawn.. i loved that!

every line hit.. I wish I could quote a few, but im mobile..

props on this piece..

 

[stupot0607]

man, ya'll making me proud

Good to see poets around here dropping some gems..

you painted an image with your words in this jawn.. i loved that!

every line hit.. I wish I could quote a few, but im mobile..

props on this piece..

Thanks for the comment Tupacfan..

I Agree there have been some amazing poems over the last couple of months!

 

[Tupacfan]

Thanks for the comment Tupacfan..

I Agree there have been some amazing poems over the last couple of months!

Yea no doubt..

I know, i've seen that.. i try and read and give feedback when i get the opportunity to post here..

Keep on writing and sharing with us, cause someone out there like mi, is reading them

Peace.

 

[Manik Sona]

Your writing is the shit. I can relate. Read it a couple times. Keep it up.

 

[stupot0607]

Your writing is the shit. I can relate. Read it a couple times. Keep it up.

Thanks for the feedback!