scumbag!

[Tsotsi Cape Town]

I never been in here before but I'm in crisis

Chick I been talking to give me the pums today and earned her side chick no2 spot. Took all my will and the powers of selassie to pull out and wrap it up.

I was getting the vibe she wanted me to shoot the club up she already said she want one more kid so dont trust that shit.

I need an intervention before I say fuck it one day impregnate this girl.

Side chick no1 gave birth 5 weeks ago so I got form with this shit help me bruddas

Put your hoe on the pill my nigga....

Ain't that hard

 

[Melqart]

I never been in here before but I'm in crisis

Chick I been talking to give me the pums today and earned her side chick no2 spot. Took all my will and the powers of selassie to pull out and wrap it up.

I was getting the vibe she wanted me to shoot the club up she already said she want one more kid so dont trust that shit.

I need an intervention before I say fuck it one day impregnate this girl.

Side chick no1 gave birth 5 weeks ago so I got form with this shit help me bruddas

Put your hoe on the pill my nigga....

Ain't that hard

Make sure you TAKE the bitch to get it done, if u having such a hard time wrapping up. These broads lie everyday.

 

[ChillaDaGawd]

I never been in here before but I'm in crisis

Chick I been talking to give me the pums today and earned her side chick no2 spot. Took all my will and the powers of selassie to pull out and wrap it up.

I was getting the vibe she wanted me to shoot the club up she already said she want one more kid so dont trust that shit.

I need an intervention before I say fuck it one day impregnate this girl.

Side chick no1 gave birth 5 weeks ago so I got form with this shit help me bruddas

Kick her down the steps

 

[Trollio]

So you doing drivebys bruh?

Nigga u go be Shawn Kemp before u know it

 

[dalyricalbandit]

"I could here the frame being torn off the mf window! Then this nigga pop's his head thru the screen like Jack Nicholson in the mf Shining! He then proceeds to CRAWL OVER ME to choke the shit out if this bitch"

im done

 

[Mastery]

I never been in here before but I'm in crisis

Chick I been talking to give me the pums today and earned her side chick no2 spot. Took all my will and the powers of selassie to pull out and wrap it up.

I was getting the vibe she wanted me to shoot the club up she already said she want one more kid so dont trust that shit.

I need an intervention before I say fuck it one day impregnate this girl.

Side chick no1 gave birth 5 weeks ago so I got form with this shit help me bruddas

Lol at this help me help me please ass nigga asking for help for his weak pull out game.

Good luck bro @Ranxx

Fuck you man I said Im in crisis

 

[BigSleeze]

The MisAdventures of Big Sleeze

Chapter 5

So back before I got my divorce, I was basically doing everything to get divorced. Being a hoe ass nigga at times, my scumbagness knew no limits. Here's a lil story about that bullshit...

On a trip to her parents house for the weekend, I'm doin the proud husband dance for her folks, even though I knew she was a cheating bitch, we still managed to fake it work. ;-) So after a long day of being the only black guy in an Asian household, I wanted to catch me a quick nap only to be awaken by screams of a foreign land being yelled across the house, a barking ass dog and constant naggin from the wife to do some more skinnin n grinnin for her folks. I had finally had enough. It's bad enough wherever y'all cook ur countries finest cuisine, at the end of the table there's a bucket of kfc, that noone touches and its assumed imma just eat chicken all damn day. I mean I do BC I'm not touching that green shit, but don't assume these things. Or that I'm being treated like I should be pulling you around in a rickshaw, but a nigga can't even get a moments peace to rest. So you know what...imma fuck me somebody.

So when everybody goes to sleep, imma dip out..that's all I could think about. So these were the good ol days of Yahoo messenger and mocospace lol yeah I know.. Anyway, I hit the messenger and run into CaddilacAss469 or some bullshit. Man she giving all the stats I wanna hear and in my mind she is damn near Ice T's wife coco. Of course she ain't got no cam, so should I roll the dice...fuck it why not. She give me the Addy and I'm out. Mind you she's in a whole other town and the days of GPS hadn't come around so imma MapQuest the bish and I'm out. So after about an hour drive I pull up, and she greets me at the door. She had a Cadillac ass alright, and a range rover gut, and a dodge ram back! THOROUGHLY disgusted. Just top me off and bend over bish, she laughed but I was dead serious. Don't even look at me. So she gets on the bed in doggy and she was already sweatin, at least she gonna be wet right? *shrug* So its gettin akward, I start picturing Majin buu from dbz and its a wrap! My dummy is down flat. So I pulls off the hat, hit the sink and I'm bout to bounce. But she kinda salty BC she didn't get hers, sorry girl I cant.

It didn't dawn on me until I hit the car that I only got a few minutes before daylight, and I got a lil journey in front of me. So I zip back into town, sun up, traffic..I just know I'm fucked. BC its Sunday, I know their up making breakfast gettin ready for church. Wtf, how imma explain this shit?! But then, I saw the light...the Krispy Kreme light..I got it! Went over there, bought 2 dozen, then went by Burger King to grab a few sammiches and some OJ and slid back to the house. And sure enough, they were up cooking, so when I come in bearing treats, nobody said shit. I obeyed my thirst and lost miserably. But that was just the beginning...

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

"She had a Cadillac ass alright, and a range rover gut, and a dodge ram back!"

*spits drink out*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

THIS NIGGA TRYING TO MAKE MY PRESSURE GO UP SO HIGH TIL I PASS OUT LAUGHIN!! OH S***!! LOL!!!

 

[Idiopathic Joker]

My story seems tame now

 

[Trollio]

My story seems tame now

You're a rapist b

 

[BigSleeze]

Dont get married before you turn 30. You handle shit wayyy different. I got done in at 23.

 

[AP21]

told ya'll back on page 102

we have a new challenger

 

[Mastery]

@Black_Samson

Don't think I forgot nigga. You still owe us some got damn scumbag stories. Post up bruh. It's time.

 

The user and all related content has been deleted.

 

[Idiopathic Joker]

i had this chick that was like 7 years older than me when i was 18.

her husband was my barber since i was 13.

She use to loan me her car while she was at work and didn't give a shit about the gas.

i would return that bitch with fumes in the tank.

she would let me nut in her, catch it in her jaws... everything...

One day her husband found my number in her purse and called the house.

my pops answered the phone asking for me. next thing i know my pops knocks on the door talmbout "aye you need to quit dating ____, her husband just called threatening to kill you. I'm serious. I told you this was a bad idea. you know he use to cut your hair right? i raised you better than this."

never saw her again.

That's it? This nigga got scared off

 

The user and all related content has been deleted.

 

The user and all related content has been deleted.

 

The user and all related content has been deleted.

 

The user and all related content has been deleted.

 

[LateToDaParty]

Lmaoooooooo man @BigSleeze gotta be contender for the title right now