scumbag!

[geechee slim]

MANNNN THIS NGA FLEXIN WITH A STATION WAGON... HAHAHAHAHH

my nigga I just found out that I can seat seven asses comfortably. These baby mamas better look the fxck out.

 

[geechee slim]

Anyway fuck all dat. I'm at the McDonalds in North Charleston across from Northwoods mall bumpin "mercedes boy."


Anyway, I pull up to the voice box at mcdonalds and hear

go on with your order.

go on with my order? What happened to the days when y'all would say, thank you for choosing McDonalds would you like to try one of our specials?

*Hesitantly* thank you for choosing McDonald's, you want one a' deez burgers?

I'm laughing, then I put in my usual: mcchicken light lettuce extra pickles, and a McDouble with no onions and no mustard. we're chatting up through the speakers because there's traffic. I say

I can't wait to meet you in my brand new car. Its a Benz!

Mmmm, What year?

That's not important. what's important is that we meet up after work and we go eat other burgers in other places.

she laughs and I laugh.

I finally pull up to the window to pay and it's this big big faggot. Like a big muscular dude with hazel contacts, glittery star tattoos on his arm, an extra medium shirt, and no lie this nigga had blonde braids. I didn't say s*** to him, I just gave him the money with a look on my face like I witnessed a crime. imma keep it real with y'all, I am homophobic when it comes to food preparation and I hope that n**** didn't touch my burgers.

I looked behind him and is this cute but extremely ghetto girl on a headset sweeping the floors. she comes to the window and says, "I thought your Benz was newer than that."

I pulled forward and let the car adjust itself from the left turn where I paid for my food. This car made a noise like a dying Triceratops from Jurassic Park. I want to say at least four girls from the check out window looked at me like something was happening outside. so I'm going to need a tune up before I start pulling these soccer moms.

 

[ericb4prez]

Lmao geechie need his own thread

 

[Crude_]

MANNNN THIS NGA FLEXIN WITH A STATION WAGON... HAHAHAHAHH

my nigga I just found out that I can seat seven asses comfortably. These baby mamas better look the fxck out.

Parked that thang right next to the trackhoe like a boss.

 

[caddo man]

Geechee tells the best stories man. I read his stories during lunch like he is a award winning author.

 

[Lurkristocrat]

MANNNN THIS NGA FLEXIN WITH A STATION WAGON... HAHAHAHAHH

my nigga I just found out that I can seat seven asses comfortably. These baby mamas better look the fxck out.

My nigga....shit look like a murder scene.

This is the last place geechie takes his scumbag vics smh...

 

[geechee slim]

So tell me yall, after 80+ pages of different stories, what have you learned from all this?

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

So tell me yall, after 80+ pages of different stories, what have you learned from all this?

...your roommate is a cockblocking Chinese hating racist.

 

[ChillaDaGawd]

So tell me yall, after 80+ pages of different stories, what have you learned from all this?

Not a damn thing

 

[JonnyRoccIT]

So tell me yall, after 80+ pages of different stories, what have you learned from all this?

THESE BITCHES AIN'T SHIT.!

...These niggas aint either .

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

Ladies, never have your newborn baby around Du, and an open dresser drawer. Nothing good will come from it.

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

That PTSD muthafucca who served 3 tours of Afghanistan is still out there.

R.I.P.to the nigga who's currently smangin his gal.

 

[geechee slim]

I learned love don't cost a thing, but scheduled vehicle maintenance does.

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

Wall and CP203 goin to hell for smashin in the military chapels during communion.

 

[geechee slim]

Pastors and veterans will fuck your wife.

Military wives will fuck ordinary civilians.

 

[geechee slim]

Yo my cousin is in his room right now since 3:am bussin some white girl down. I'm so proud. He's not a fag after all.

 

[Lurkristocrat]

Yo my cousin is in his room right now since 3:am bussin some white girl down. I even recorded some audio because I'm so proud. He's not a fag after all.

Nigga recorded audio? Who the hell wanna hear that

 

[geechee slim]

Yo my cousin is in his room right now since 3:am bussin some white girl down. I even recorded some audio because I'm so proud. He's not a fag after all.

Nigga recorded audio? Who the hell wanna hear that

Couple family members. We got a inside joke now. His new name is Killah!

 

[illestni99ainne]

HOLEEEE SHIT!

I been gone for awhile lurking here and there and damn yall niggas ain't shit.

Now on to my ain't shitness....

So when me and my ex wife were still dating but living together we were having some financial issues so to cover some bills we let a friend of hers move in. Her friend looks just like Eve but with bigger titties. When I first met her at a party me and my ex threw I was like damn and was flirting with her all night and my ex was all pissed the rest of the night, which surprised me that she let her move in with us.

So when she first moved in she did mostly keep to herself, cuz she knew I was trying her. All this while me and my ex, her name was April been fighting over trivial shit and I was really getting sick of her.

So one day we decided to have another party at the crib. I was gonna grill got the ribs, and chicken marinating so I'm chilling in front of the tv playing Madden. April walks in and I immediately can feel the bullshit that's about to pop off.

The bitch: Nigga what in the fuck do you think you are doing?!?!?

Me: Here you go. What you talking about now!!!

The bitch: We got aaalll this company coming over and you sitting on your ass playing video games like a big ass kid. What happened to you marinating the meat? See I try and give you the benefit of the doubt but you continue to try my patience.

Me:.......

The bitch: Nigga I know you heard me talking to you mothafucka!

Me: I heard you perfectly fine. Let me tell you something. First of all If you ever in yo mothafucking life cuss at me or raise your fucking voice at me I'm gonna kick you in your fucking forehead. Second if you woke up from your drunken stupor (we'll get to that later) you would realize that I cleaned the house, cut the grass and marinated the meat and its not even noon yet!!! So shut the fuck up!

Her:.....Well you should've woke me up!

Me: I'm not your dad. Get up your damn self.

The bitch:.....Well anyways take me to the mall I need a outfit for tonight.

Me: Take yourself I'm doing the same and I'm going to get my haircut.

The bitch: Well why can't we go together?

Me: Because I don't want you to.

And with that I turned off Madden grabbed my keys and headed out the door, all the while she chasing after me cussing me out I got in my car, hit her with the deuce, turned up the music and peeled out. So I got my clothes I was gonna wear that night, got some shoes and a haircut. I came home and immediately start grilling.

So now our roommate her name was Tina has come out back. Hands me a beer and sits to chop it up. I'm kinda surprised because she would kinda keep me at an arms length but today for some reason she all on a nigga. So I'm cracking jokes and grilling the meat having her laughing. I look up and there's the bitch in the window mean mugging the fuck outta me. I smile blow her a kiss and go back to grilling. Tina sees what I do laughs and is like yall a trip. I was like whatever fuck her. She just smiles and says well I'm about to get ready ill see you later. She heads back in but as she goes she brushes her butt up against me then heads in bouncing that ass knowing I'm watching.

I'm like damn. I'm about to get my ass in trouble but I didn't give a fuck really because I was sick of my ex. So I finish the meat. Head in to shower and get changed. This whole time me and my ex haven't said shit to eachother since I got back.

So the party starts all my niggas come thru and of course first thing they see is Tina. My nigga Jason like to who is that? She look just like Eve son! Yo I'm all over that!!! I gave him the scoop but in my head I'm like yeah whatever nigga I'm smashing that tonight.

So like I was saying ealier my ex likes to drink. And I mean I do to but she as I ended up finding out later is a raging alcoholic. Like it was disgusting. Passing out all the time, throwing up, causing scenes. Then the next day all apologetic and shit. I was past fed up. So tonight is no exception. She is getting blasted off the grey goose. Thank God she blacked out early with no drama, except for whatever reason while my ex is all fucked up she makes it into Tina's room and throws up all over her bed.

Tina is pissed smacking her and April is oblivious to it all. I apologize, tell her just throw away her bedding and is buy her more tomorrow. I carry April's dumb ass to our room and put her on the sofa in our room. I go about my night drinking and smoking and have the time of my life. So my nigga Jason been trying Tina all night and she was nice but mostly ignoring him. He was like fuck it and ended up fucking with another chick at the party.

So end of the night everyone leaves. Me and Tina chilling and she's still pissed April threw up on her bed of course. I tell her well the sofa is a pull out you can sleep here tonight. She says well why don't you sleep here and ill take your bed. I say because its my bed and I got a bad back. So I say goodnight and go lay down. Not even 20 minutes pass before she comes in my room. I was scared at first that April would wake up but she was fucking dead to the world. Nothing was waking her up. So I fuck the raw dog shit outta Tina. The pussy was good as fuck. Amazing head. I busted all in her mouth. She swallowed and all. She was a giver. I should've kept her ass around but she ended up moving to Cali a year later.

Anyways the next morning April wakes up and again all apologetic. Baby I'm soooo sorry. I don't know why I act like this. I promise ill go to AA. Im just like whatever in my head I roll my eyes cuz I've heard this shit before but I smile and say its cool. We will work it out. She asks me for a glass of orange juice. I go get it. I pour the glass but I also take my dick out and give it a squirt of piss. Not enough for her to taste it but just enough to give myself the satisfaction that I pissed in her drink.

So anyways me and Tina would smash on occasion never got caught but like I said she ended up moving to Cali.

Ahhh the one that got away...

So last night my ex called me to speak to our daughter and I snuck in asking about Tina. She got super quiet then started crying saying she knew we were fucking. And how could I do that?!? I apologized and said you know we were having problems, but in my head I'm like bitch that was 11 years ago! Get over it!

So after she talks to our daughter I get back on the phone and ask, so what was her last name again?

She says oh my god you asshole! And hangs up.

Oh well...

 

[caddo man]

HOLEEEE SHIT!

I been gone for awhile lurking here and there and damn yall niggas ain't shit.

Now on to my ain't shitness....

So when me and my ex wife were still dating but living together we were having some financial issues so to cover some bills we let a friend of hers move in. Her friend looks just like Eve but with bigger titties. When I first met her at a party me and my ex threw I was like damn and was flirting with her all night and my ex was all pissed the rest of the night, which surprised me that she let her move in with us.

So when she first moved in she did mostly keep to herself, cuz she knew I was trying her. All this while me and my ex, her name was April been fighting over trivial shit and I was really getting sick of her.

So one day we decided to have another party at the crib. I was gonna grill got the ribs, and chicken marinating so I'm chilling in front of the tv playing Madden. April walks in and I immediately can feel the bullshit that's about to pop off.

The bitch: Nigga what in the fuck do you think you are doing?!?!?

Me: Here you go. What you talking about now!!!

The bitch: We got aaalll this company coming over and you sitting on your ass playing video games like a big ass kid. What happened to you marinating the meat? See I try and give you the benefit of the doubt but you continue to try my patience.

Me:.......

The bitch: Nigga I know you heard me talking to you mothafucka!

Me: I heard you perfectly fine. Let me tell you something. First of all If you ever in yo mothafucking life cuss at me or raise your fucking voice at me I'm gonna kick you in your fucking forehead. Second if you woke up from your drunken stupor (we'll get to that later) you would realize that I cleaned the house, cut the grass and marinated the meat and its not even noon yet!!! So shut the fuck up!

Her:.....Well you should've woke me up!

Me: I'm not your dad. Get up your damn self.

The bitch:.....Well anyways take me to the mall I need a outfit for tonight.

Me: Take yourself I'm doing the same and I'm going to get my haircut.

The bitch: Well why can't we go together?

Me: Because I don't want you to.

And with that I turned off Madden grabbed my keys and headed out the door, all the while she chasing after me cussing me out I got in my car, hit her with the deuce, turned up the music and peeled out. So I got my clothes I was gonna wear that night, got some shoes and a haircut. I came home and immediately start grilling.

So now our roommate her name was Tina has come out back. Hands me a beer and sits to chop it up. I'm kinda surprised because she would kinda keep me at an arms length but today for some reason she all on a nigga. So I'm cracking jokes and grilling the meat having her laughing. I look up and there's the bitch in the window mean mugging the fuck outta me. I smile blow her a kiss and go back to grilling. Tina sees what I do laughs and is like yall a trip. I was like whatever fuck her. She just smiles and says well I'm about to get ready ill see you later. She heads back in but as she goes she brushes her butt up against me then heads in bouncing that ass knowing I'm watching.

I'm like damn. I'm about to get my ass in trouble but I didn't give a fuck really because I was sick of my ex. So I finish the meat. Head in to shower and get changed. This whole time me and my ex haven't said shit to eachother since I got back.

So the party starts all my niggas come thru and of course first thing they see is Tina. My nigga Jason like to who is that? She look just like Eve son! Yo I'm all over that!!! I gave him the scoop but in my head I'm like yeah whatever nigga I'm smashing that tonight.

So like I was saying ealier my ex likes to drink. And I mean I do to but she as I ended up finding out later is a raging alcoholic. Like it was disgusting. Passing out all the time, throwing up, causing scenes. Then the next day all apologetic and shit. I was past fed up. So tonight is no exception. She is getting blasted off the grey goose. Thank God she blacked out early with no drama, except for whatever reason while my ex is all fucked up she makes it into Tina's room and throws up all over her bed.

Tina is pissed smacking her and April is oblivious to it all. I apologize, tell her just throw away her bedding and is buy her more tomorrow. I carry April's dumb ass to our room and put her on the sofa in our room. I go about my night drinking and smoking and have the time of my life. So my nigga Jason been trying Tina all night and she was nice but mostly ignoring him. He was like fuck it and ended up fucking with another chick at the party.

So end of the night everyone leaves. Me and Tina chilling and she's still pissed April threw up on her bed of course. I tell her well the sofa is a pull out you can sleep here tonight. She says well why don't you sleep here and ill take your bed. I say because its my bed and I got a bad back. So I say goodnight and go lay down. Not even 20 minutes pass before she comes in my room. I was scared at first that April would wake up but she was fucking dead to the world. Nothing was waking her up. So I fuck the raw dog shit outta Tina. The pussy was good as fuck. Amazing head. I busted all in her mouth. She swallowed and all. She was a giver. I should've kept her ass around but she ended up moving to Cali a year later.

Anyways the next morning April wakes up and again all apologetic. Baby I'm soooo sorry. I don't know why I act like this. I promise ill go to AA. Im just like whatever in my head I roll my eyes cuz I've heard this shit before but I smile and say its cool. We will work it out. She asks me for a glass of orange juice. I go get it. I pour the glass but I also take my dick out and give it a squirt of piss. Not enough for her to taste it but just enough to give myself the satisfaction that I pissed in her drink.

So anyways me and Tina would smash on occasion never got caught but like I said she ended up moving to Cali.

Ahhh the one that got away...

So last night my ex called me to speak to our daughter and I snuck in asking about Tina. She got super quiet then started crying saying she knew we were fucking. And how could I do that?!? I apologized and said you know we were having problems, but in my head I'm like bitch that was 11 years ago! Get over it!

So after she talks to our daughter I get back on the phone and ask, so what was her last name again?

She says oh my god you asshole! And hangs up.

Oh well...