Recaptimus_Prime360
New member
[Trillmatic];8486832 said:
Wait if this was your honeymoon, what time did your wife go to bed???? I'd figure yall would've been gettin it the whole time
- Status
Wait if this was your honeymoon, what time did your wife go to bed???? I'd figure yall would've been gettin it the whole time
geechee slim
New member
Recaptimus_Prime360;8481383 said:
CARTA: Carrying Africans Rapidly Throughout the Area
[Trillmatic]
New member
Recaptimus_Prime360;8487148 said:
She went to bed around midnight and that's when I slid off
geechee slim
New member
This is the story of the Little Pink Bike, Part 1.
This shit has been taking place since my last scumbag story. I added pictures for this one because you'd have to see it to believe it. Spoilers: Asian women, planes, guns, an emo roommate, stolen cars, Cops... and oh yeah... an electric pink bicycle.
So one day before the light bill is due, my lights get cut off because of a past due balance. My room mate texts me about it while I'm at work. I tell him I got money on the dresser. He says he's not at home. So I tell my dad to pay it for me, and I'll pay him back [Pops] as soon as I get off work.
My roommate never left the house, he paid the bill with my money but DIDN'T TELL ME. So now I owe my father for paying this electric bill TWICE technically. If yall remember how I described my dad, he's serious about his money. And I literally don't have it cuz my roommate wasn't being upfront with me. So now Im hot, and I flipped out on my roommate cuz my pops flipped out me me. So my roommate is a self-described emo. I call a spade a spade and it's covert for feminine + antisocial.
But not me! I even met a girl from China I used to flirt with heavy. She no speak ah gur Engerish. Which is PERFECT for conversation! So on her way out back to China, she needed a place to spend the night so she could get to the Charleston airport around 6 am... Saturday night, sunday morning. I shoulda known something would go wrong, cuz Saturday would be September 11th. And in some twisted Final Destination-That's So Raven-sorta way, I felt like ill about it... until she offered me a BIKE since she couldn't bring it on the plane. So not only do I get a free bicycle, but I spend the night with a hot asian. For those who date in and out their race, them asian women is worth maaad points. Now me and my roommate have a house rule: Text before bringing guests. We want the opportunity to clean house in case a gal roll through. You won't believe what he said to me.
This nigga's a fool. So we had a back-n-forth text rant. But fuck all that, I head out to pick up my lil Kitana without the mask. She lives an hour away in a place for "international temp workers." On the way there, she texts me saying "by the way, the bike is pink."
I get there and greet her, and sure enough it's a pink bike. I could give it to my niece for her birthday but she's too small for it... and I ain't riding no pink bike. Ain't this something you should know early? I asked her what she paid and she said $300. FOR A BIKE? Come to find out, the bitch was right! I listed that bitch on Craigslist but no serious offers.
So we take off, stop at Walmart to cash her last check, then get back in the car, She kissed me on the cheek. So I pull the ol hold her hand while I'm driving thing. So now we creepin up the west side... Hands creepin up her left side
We riding listening to asian rhythm & blues. I tried to put on It G Ma! but she made it clear she doesn't like rap. Then I get a text from my cousin PURPOSELY cock-blocking me. Read the bottom.
You cheeky bastard! This Young Thug waits till the last second to try n derail me. Feminine guys are JUST as jealous and spiteful as the black women who raised um. It's dishonorable, distasteful, and above all pretty gay. Me and my fling get to the house and as soon as I open the door, my nephews stare at the girl jaw wide open like she was a ghost. They were impressed but I'm sure she was kinda uncomfortable. They were in the living room playing one of those rap songs that go "huminahuminahuminahuminaHUMINAHUMINA! (swag). Remember, she doesn't like rap!! I'm walking in the house with a pink bike and they say
"Uncle Irah is you gay or something? Nigga that shit PINK with sparkles."
We go to my room and get on some chinese Netflix. She clothed down, and I put the moves on her while watching Ip Man 2. The kissing went on for a while, but as soon as I pulled trigg she pulled back and whispered "but the children."
I say "them kids is adults! Black men gotta grow up fast!" I tried fellas, I tried, but I couldn't pull trigg. She gave me one last kiss, smiled, and shook her head "no." Fuck Mortal Kombat. Kitana let down her biggest fan.
Scumbagged by an emo outsider unidentifiedsexual living in the room across the hall.
Part 2 coming soon.
This shit has been taking place since my last scumbag story. I added pictures for this one because you'd have to see it to believe it. Spoilers: Asian women, planes, guns, an emo roommate, stolen cars, Cops... and oh yeah... an electric pink bicycle.
So one day before the light bill is due, my lights get cut off because of a past due balance. My room mate texts me about it while I'm at work. I tell him I got money on the dresser. He says he's not at home. So I tell my dad to pay it for me, and I'll pay him back [Pops] as soon as I get off work.
My roommate never left the house, he paid the bill with my money but DIDN'T TELL ME. So now I owe my father for paying this electric bill TWICE technically. If yall remember how I described my dad, he's serious about his money. And I literally don't have it cuz my roommate wasn't being upfront with me. So now Im hot, and I flipped out on my roommate cuz my pops flipped out me me. So my roommate is a self-described emo. I call a spade a spade and it's covert for feminine + antisocial.
But not me! I even met a girl from China I used to flirt with heavy. She no speak ah gur Engerish. Which is PERFECT for conversation! So on her way out back to China, she needed a place to spend the night so she could get to the Charleston airport around 6 am... Saturday night, sunday morning. I shoulda known something would go wrong, cuz Saturday would be September 11th. And in some twisted Final Destination-That's So Raven-sorta way, I felt like ill about it... until she offered me a BIKE since she couldn't bring it on the plane. So not only do I get a free bicycle, but I spend the night with a hot asian. For those who date in and out their race, them asian women is worth maaad points. Now me and my roommate have a house rule: Text before bringing guests. We want the opportunity to clean house in case a gal roll through. You won't believe what he said to me.
This nigga's a fool. So we had a back-n-forth text rant. But fuck all that, I head out to pick up my lil Kitana without the mask. She lives an hour away in a place for "international temp workers." On the way there, she texts me saying "by the way, the bike is pink."
I get there and greet her, and sure enough it's a pink bike. I could give it to my niece for her birthday but she's too small for it... and I ain't riding no pink bike. Ain't this something you should know early? I asked her what she paid and she said $300. FOR A BIKE? Come to find out, the bitch was right! I listed that bitch on Craigslist but no serious offers.
So we take off, stop at Walmart to cash her last check, then get back in the car, She kissed me on the cheek. So I pull the ol hold her hand while I'm driving thing. So now we creepin up the west side... Hands creepin up her left side
We riding listening to asian rhythm & blues. I tried to put on It G Ma! but she made it clear she doesn't like rap. Then I get a text from my cousin PURPOSELY cock-blocking me. Read the bottom.
You cheeky bastard! This Young Thug waits till the last second to try n derail me. Feminine guys are JUST as jealous and spiteful as the black women who raised um. It's dishonorable, distasteful, and above all pretty gay. Me and my fling get to the house and as soon as I open the door, my nephews stare at the girl jaw wide open like she was a ghost. They were impressed but I'm sure she was kinda uncomfortable. They were in the living room playing one of those rap songs that go "huminahuminahuminahuminaHUMINAHUMINA! (swag). Remember, she doesn't like rap!! I'm walking in the house with a pink bike and they say
"Uncle Irah is you gay or something? Nigga that shit PINK with sparkles."
We go to my room and get on some chinese Netflix. She clothed down, and I put the moves on her while watching Ip Man 2. The kissing went on for a while, but as soon as I pulled trigg she pulled back and whispered "but the children."
I say "them kids is adults! Black men gotta grow up fast!" I tried fellas, I tried, but I couldn't pull trigg. She gave me one last kiss, smiled, and shook her head "no." Fuck Mortal Kombat. Kitana let down her biggest fan.
Scumbagged by an emo outsider unidentifiedsexual living in the room across the hall.
Part 2 coming soon.
Last edited:
illestni99ainne
New member
I swear @"geechee slim" be having like the best stories
AP21;8489587 said:
Bruh I had three through my time. Only one came through with bitches.
The first one I used to hook up. He got my lightweight white bitches.
The second one was the worst wingman ever but I knew this and always kept it 100. Nah bruh you would like her friends.
The 3rd one brought a true redbone from Lafayette to the crib. She had two bad kids but they listened to me. (Actually miss them mfers) This bitch used to fuck for a roof over her head. She used to top me off before the kids came home and put me to bed at night. Her teeth was horrible but she gave up the anal on the regular. Memories
The second one was the worst wingman ever but I knew this and always kept it 100. Nah bruh you would like her friends.
The 3rd one brought a true redbone from Lafayette to the crib. She had two bad kids but they listened to me. (Actually miss them mfers) This bitch used to fuck for a roof over her head. She used to top me off before the kids came home and put me to bed at night. Her teeth was horrible but she gave up the anal on the regular. Memories
Recaptimus_Prime360
New member
I swear I feel like I need to buy Geechee a drink, or get him a life coach. Lol!
illestni99ainne
New member
Waiting on that part 2 geech!!!
Alpha_Ambition
New member
geechee slim;8489294 said:This is the story of the Little Pink Bike, Part 1.
This shit has been taking place since my last scumbag story. I added pictures for this one because you'd have to see it to believe it. Spoilers: Asian women, planes, guns, an emo roommate, stolen cars, Cops... and oh yeah... an electric pink bicycle.
So one day before the light bill is due, my lights get cut off because of a past due balance. My room mate texts me about it while I'm at work. I tell him I got money on the dresser. He says he's not at home. So I tell my dad to pay it for me, and I'll pay him back [Pops] as soon as I get off work.
My roommate never left the house, he paid the bill with my money but DIDN'T TELL ME. So now I owe my father for paying this electric bill TWICE technically. If yall remember how I described my dad, he's serious about his money. And I literally don't have it cuz my roommate wasn't being upfront with me. So now Im hot, and I flipped out on my roommate cuz my pops flipped out me me. So my roommate is a self-described emo. I call a spade a spade and it's covert for feminine + antisocial.
But not me! I even met a girl from China I used to flirt with heavy. She no speak ah gur Engerish. Which is PERFECT for conversation! So on her way out back to China, she needed a place to spend the night so she could get to the Charleston airport around 6 am... Saturday night, sunday morning. I shoulda known something would go wrong, cuz Saturday would be September 11th. And in some twisted Final Destination-That's So Raven-sorta way, I felt like ill about it... until she offered me a BIKE since she couldn't bring it on the plane. So not only do I get a free bicycle, but I spend the night with a hot asian. For those who date in and out their race, them asian women is worth maaad points. Now me and my roommate have a house rule: Text before bringing guests. We want the opportunity to clean house in case a gal roll through. You won't believe what he said to me.
This nigga's a fool. So we had a back-n-forth text rant. But fuck all that, I head out to pick up my lil Kitana without the mask. She lives an hour away in a place for "international temp workers." On the way there, she texts me saying "by the way, the bike is pink."
I get there and greet her, and sure enough it's a pink bike. I could give it to my niece for her birthday but she's too small for it... and I ain't riding no pink bike. Ain't this something you should know early? I asked her what she paid and she said $300. FOR A BIKE? Come to find out, the bitch was right! I listed that bitch on Craigslist but no serious offers.
So we take off, stop at Walmart to cash her last check, then get back in the car, She kissed me on the cheek. So I pull the ol hold her hand while I'm driving thing. So now we creepin up the west side... Hands creepin up her left side
We riding listening to asian rhythm & blues. I tried to put on It G Ma! but she made it clear she doesn't like rap. Then I get a text from my cousin PURPOSELY cock-blocking me. Read the bottom.
You cheeky bastard! This Young Thug waits till the last second to try n derail me. Feminine guys are JUST as jealous and spiteful as the black women who raised um. It's dishonorable, distasteful, and above all pretty gay. Me and my fling get to the house and as soon as I open the door, my nephews stare at the girl jaw wide open like she was a ghost. They were impressed but I'm sure she was kinda uncomfortable. They were in the living room playing one of those rap songs that go "huminahuminahuminahuminaHUMINAHUMINA! (swag). Remember, she doesn't like rap!! I'm walking in the house with a pink bike and they say
"Uncle Irah is you gay or something? Nigga that shit PINK with sparkles."
We go to my room and get on some chinese Netflix. She clothed down, and I put the moves on her while watching Ip Man 2. The kissing went on for a while, but as soon as I pulled trigg she pulled back and whispered "but the children."
I say "them kids is adults! Black men gotta grow up fast!" I tried fellas, I tried, but I couldn't pull trigg. She gave me one last kiss, smiled, and shook her head "no." Fuck Mortal Kombat. Kitana let down her biggest fan.
Scumbagged by an emo outsider unidentifiedsexual living in the room across the hall.
Part 2 coming soon.
I'm crying way too many quotables
"asian rnb"
"chinese netflix"
"kitana let down her biggest fan"
"uncle you gay or something?" (dead at having riley hit u with the ether)
"black men grow up fast"
Waits for part 2
Recaptimus_Prime360
New member
Lol @ his roommate wit the "F*** YO CHINESE COMPANY NIGGA" attitude.
geechee slim
New member
Part 2 of The Little Pink Bike: From China with Love
So, I had to get a new debit card because my previous one wasn't scanning anymore. A new card with a new number. GIECO was taking automatic payments from a credit card I didn't have. The bill doesn't even come to my house, it goes to pop's crib. So not only was I riding for months uninsured, but on a suspended license! I didn't know till I got a pink letter at their house. So even during part one, if I'd had gotten pulled over I would have been thrown in jail! I work late nights and I don't wanna get pulled over by bored pigs. It's MANDATORY 30 days.
So I gotta pay for the insurance FIRST, then the license, then the reinstatement, the state fees, the OTHER fees, reinstate my tags. All in all it was about 480 to get just the car legal again. I paid to get my car legal and insured, and waited to pay the other $200x2 to reinstate my own license.
I had a girlfriend who stayed another 30 minutes from me, lets call her Beatrice. We hadn't spoken in a while, but, I donno I can make her a temporary chauffer. She'd spent the night before, and my mom knows of her and likes what she hears about her. So we linked up. I explained my situation and told her I needed her to drive me to ONLY my night job, from around 11:00 to 3:00 AM in MY car. It's a 30-40 minute walk from my house, but why walk when you got a car right? Plus I've let her drive my car before and I thought it was kinda cool. To let ya girl drive ya whip, you know? I mean, I kinda liked this girl and she's a top 5 overall.
The first time, things went smooth. I pick her up around 11:15 and I give her the key to my room. She know I got a room mate, she know how to work my tv. She got the wifi in her phone. She'll drop me off at my night job and wait in my house until I get off. The second time I drove with her into charleston to my dayjob from 2-11pm. She got mad I didn't give her the keys. I gave her some $$$ to have a good time downtown until I get off work. I wasn't giving her my car for 8 hours though. She found a way back home when I got off work. So I took a chance that night. Another day she texts me and asks if I needed a driver. I thought she was trying to 'make up' with me but she had other plans.
I drove to work with a full tank, and all tires checked for fuel pressure. The inside was CLEAN. My last oil check was a few weeks ago. New front tires, timing belt. This car still had a lot of fight in it. WELL... The second night I had her drop me off, she was gonna wait in my house. I get off at three so I text her around 2:45 to remindher. I clock out and I'm chillin in the building. I text her "honk the horn twice so I know you there." I get nothing.
So I call.... and I call.... text again and I call.... At 3:25 she finally picks up.
YO!?! (*waiting for response*) ..... Where you at?
... What time is it?
LOOK AT YOUR DAMN PHONE, the time's right there! Come get me!
... I'm sick.
SICK? GIRL! ........... You in MY FUCKIN HOUSE!!! Driving MY FUCKING CAR!!!!
OK now see, all that cussin ain't called for.
At that moment, I almost went full red pill MGTOW. But I had to get right, because she is in my house, with my keys... And my stuff. So I say "well I'm right here so get over here now please thanks bye." If I had a Nokia phone I woulda threw that shit on the ground as soon as I hit End Call. I'm cursing up a storm in a secluded parking lot.
Now it's damn near 3:45, and my house is a 5 minute drive. I get ready to start walking. Right where the parking lot meets the street I hear the WORST SOUNDING NOISE to ever come from a car. I say..... "Who da hell is THAT?" This girl pulls up in my car with the wost engine noise imaginable. Imagine cranking a dead lawnmower. One of you niggas onthis board put a hex on me. Cuz I sounded just like my daddy when I said to that bitch
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY CAR?!?
I don't even know it's just...
JUST WHAT? Is this why I been callin and callin and you never picked up?!?
I told you I was sick!
BUUUULLLLL!!!
(*wait for it*)
SHIIIIIIT! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO? WHERE DID YOU GO?!?
She's speachless, I'm pissed. Good thing it was late night because I would've gotten arrested for sure. Because I cranked it up, and drove forward and my car was BARELY moving forward. Every bit of has, the knock noise would get louder and louder. I look in my backseat and there are shoe prints. Who df else was in my car? Feul tank close to E. Then, the car shuts down in the street.
I start bangin on the steering wheel and I look at her. She got scared and opened her door like she was goona run. I tell her wait, everything's ok, lemme just look at it and everything will be fine. Popped the hood and the engine was steamy, battery corrosion, and heavy engine knock. I also saw my car wasn't so clean, the tires were lighter, and someone was definately in my backseat. When we got back in the car, the transmission was stuck between drive and overdrive. I couldn't chose either, just stuck in between KILLING my engine and transmission. We make it home.
I woke her up the next day and say
"Your ride is here!"
My ride? Who?
Your UBER! I gotchu a guy named Johnny in a Carolla and he's gonna get you home safely!
She was pissed, make no doubt about it. Because I was rejecting her, kicking her out, AND doing it in a nice way. She even knocked over my favorite little pirate ship I bought from Goodwill. She knew I used to talk about it alot, and that's why she knocked it off my television.
I bring my old man by the next day
"Boy, you got a blown rod bearing, which toar UP dat engine. But it's no use getting a $700 engine replacement from LKQ because you also have a destroyed transmission. Oil is leaking and there is a HUGE dent under your car. You must have hit something hard pretty fast... (*Pause*). You looking at a $2500 problem son. Parts and labor. So figure out if your car is even worth that to fix. How you getting to work tonight anyway? Your cousin gonna take you?"
Now how the fuck am I supposed to get to work. I would ask my roommate, but he's still acting iffy with me. He just basically doesn't fuck with me, even though I do everything in the house. None of my homeboys is gonna give me a lift that late so, the only thing I got to ride is....
Stay tuned for part 3.
So, I had to get a new debit card because my previous one wasn't scanning anymore. A new card with a new number. GIECO was taking automatic payments from a credit card I didn't have. The bill doesn't even come to my house, it goes to pop's crib. So not only was I riding for months uninsured, but on a suspended license! I didn't know till I got a pink letter at their house. So even during part one, if I'd had gotten pulled over I would have been thrown in jail! I work late nights and I don't wanna get pulled over by bored pigs. It's MANDATORY 30 days.
So I gotta pay for the insurance FIRST, then the license, then the reinstatement, the state fees, the OTHER fees, reinstate my tags. All in all it was about 480 to get just the car legal again. I paid to get my car legal and insured, and waited to pay the other $200x2 to reinstate my own license.
I had a girlfriend who stayed another 30 minutes from me, lets call her Beatrice. We hadn't spoken in a while, but, I donno I can make her a temporary chauffer. She'd spent the night before, and my mom knows of her and likes what she hears about her. So we linked up. I explained my situation and told her I needed her to drive me to ONLY my night job, from around 11:00 to 3:00 AM in MY car. It's a 30-40 minute walk from my house, but why walk when you got a car right? Plus I've let her drive my car before and I thought it was kinda cool. To let ya girl drive ya whip, you know? I mean, I kinda liked this girl and she's a top 5 overall.
The first time, things went smooth. I pick her up around 11:15 and I give her the key to my room. She know I got a room mate, she know how to work my tv. She got the wifi in her phone. She'll drop me off at my night job and wait in my house until I get off. The second time I drove with her into charleston to my dayjob from 2-11pm. She got mad I didn't give her the keys. I gave her some $$$ to have a good time downtown until I get off work. I wasn't giving her my car for 8 hours though. She found a way back home when I got off work. So I took a chance that night. Another day she texts me and asks if I needed a driver. I thought she was trying to 'make up' with me but she had other plans.
I drove to work with a full tank, and all tires checked for fuel pressure. The inside was CLEAN. My last oil check was a few weeks ago. New front tires, timing belt. This car still had a lot of fight in it. WELL... The second night I had her drop me off, she was gonna wait in my house. I get off at three so I text her around 2:45 to remindher. I clock out and I'm chillin in the building. I text her "honk the horn twice so I know you there." I get nothing.
So I call.... and I call.... text again and I call.... At 3:25 she finally picks up.
YO!?! (*waiting for response*) ..... Where you at?
... What time is it?
LOOK AT YOUR DAMN PHONE, the time's right there! Come get me!
... I'm sick.
SICK? GIRL! ........... You in MY FUCKIN HOUSE!!! Driving MY FUCKING CAR!!!!
OK now see, all that cussin ain't called for.
At that moment, I almost went full red pill MGTOW. But I had to get right, because she is in my house, with my keys... And my stuff. So I say "well I'm right here so get over here now please thanks bye." If I had a Nokia phone I woulda threw that shit on the ground as soon as I hit End Call. I'm cursing up a storm in a secluded parking lot.
Now it's damn near 3:45, and my house is a 5 minute drive. I get ready to start walking. Right where the parking lot meets the street I hear the WORST SOUNDING NOISE to ever come from a car. I say..... "Who da hell is THAT?" This girl pulls up in my car with the wost engine noise imaginable. Imagine cranking a dead lawnmower. One of you niggas onthis board put a hex on me. Cuz I sounded just like my daddy when I said to that bitch
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY CAR?!?
I don't even know it's just...
JUST WHAT? Is this why I been callin and callin and you never picked up?!?
I told you I was sick!
BUUUULLLLL!!!
(*wait for it*)
SHIIIIIIT! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO? WHERE DID YOU GO?!?
She's speachless, I'm pissed. Good thing it was late night because I would've gotten arrested for sure. Because I cranked it up, and drove forward and my car was BARELY moving forward. Every bit of has, the knock noise would get louder and louder. I look in my backseat and there are shoe prints. Who df else was in my car? Feul tank close to E. Then, the car shuts down in the street.
I start bangin on the steering wheel and I look at her. She got scared and opened her door like she was goona run. I tell her wait, everything's ok, lemme just look at it and everything will be fine. Popped the hood and the engine was steamy, battery corrosion, and heavy engine knock. I also saw my car wasn't so clean, the tires were lighter, and someone was definately in my backseat. When we got back in the car, the transmission was stuck between drive and overdrive. I couldn't chose either, just stuck in between KILLING my engine and transmission. We make it home.
I woke her up the next day and say
"Your ride is here!"
My ride? Who?
Your UBER! I gotchu a guy named Johnny in a Carolla and he's gonna get you home safely!
She was pissed, make no doubt about it. Because I was rejecting her, kicking her out, AND doing it in a nice way. She even knocked over my favorite little pirate ship I bought from Goodwill. She knew I used to talk about it alot, and that's why she knocked it off my television.
I bring my old man by the next day
"Boy, you got a blown rod bearing, which toar UP dat engine. But it's no use getting a $700 engine replacement from LKQ because you also have a destroyed transmission. Oil is leaking and there is a HUGE dent under your car. You must have hit something hard pretty fast... (*Pause*). You looking at a $2500 problem son. Parts and labor. So figure out if your car is even worth that to fix. How you getting to work tonight anyway? Your cousin gonna take you?"
Now how the fuck am I supposed to get to work. I would ask my roommate, but he's still acting iffy with me. He just basically doesn't fuck with me, even though I do everything in the house. None of my homeboys is gonna give me a lift that late so, the only thing I got to ride is....
Stay tuned for part 3.
Recaptimus_Prime360
New member
Nigga this story can't be real. Lol!!!
geechee slim
New member
Part 3 of Little Pink Bike: Baby You're Much Too Fast
I had the perfect work schedule. Technically two night jobs so I could do sidejobs in the day. 3-11 pm at one job, then 11-3 am. But without a car I can barely get to work on time, and often miss out on laundry day because I don't want to go with my mom. With my roommate not fucking with me, shit's just expensive and my back's against the wall.
I got the day off from my day job, but I still had to be at my nightjob for a couple hours. And my only transport is a pink bicycle. And like I said earlier, I'm not riding no pink bike.
Well, I'm eating those words with a fork and plate. My plan was to go in late WHEN NOBODY'S ONTHE ROAD. And since it's cold, let me put on this heavy black fleece and black skully. And since it's hard to breathe in all that fog, letme bring this black scarf around my face. Not all I gotta do is wait till 2:AM and head out. I'll be back around 4:45AM before anyone's on the road and sees this grown ass man on this barbie bike.
I pull through my neighborhood and all I hear is barking. The bike chain is rusty, the pedals squeek, and BOTH tires are flat. I'm a smoker and the low tire pressure is killing my legs. You feel every pebble on the street. Only light I have is my phone. I see deer skattering and possums moving. Dogs barking. I look and sound like Jason coming.
So I get onto the main road to my night gig. I'm on the right side of the road and I hear/feel/see a car coming from about half a block behind me. So I get in the left lane and let him pass. An all white ford taurus slows down and observes me and drive down the street. I get back in the right lane and ride forward another 3 minutes... and I see a car waiting for me. I think I might get jacked.
So I'm riding and as soon as I pass the car I hear "HEY BUDDY! WHERE YOU HEADED" I reach in my right fleece pocket for my flashlightand I hear
"WHOA WHOA WHOA DON'T MOVE OR I WILL SHOOT YOU!!!!"
And LED light hits me in the face and I'm blind. I'm frozen with my right hand in my pocket and left hand up in the air.
"GET OFF THE BIKE AND PUT KEEP YOUR HANDS THERE"
He came towards me and I realize he's a cop. It looked like he was gonna put me in cuffs and frisks me so I say
"Am I being detained?"
WHERE ARE YOU HEADED TONIGHT?
That office building right there, I work there.
IT'S CLOSED
I know, I clean the floors. I'm having car trouble and all I have is this pink bike, so I didn't want to be seen in it.
I BELIEVE YOU.
*whew* I have to go--
DO YOU HAVE YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE?
........ I'm on a bike. Do I need a drivers license for that?
ARE YOU BEING A SMART ASS? YOU'RE THE ONE RIDING ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE WHEN I PASSED YOU, AGAINST TRAFFIC. THATS A VIOLATION.
OK, well my license number is zero, one three, six...
(*pulls out notepad and startswriting*) HOLD ON SIR, ZERO ONE THREE SIX WHAT?
Long story short, he wrote me a warning
I had the perfect work schedule. Technically two night jobs so I could do sidejobs in the day. 3-11 pm at one job, then 11-3 am. But without a car I can barely get to work on time, and often miss out on laundry day because I don't want to go with my mom. With my roommate not fucking with me, shit's just expensive and my back's against the wall.
I got the day off from my day job, but I still had to be at my nightjob for a couple hours. And my only transport is a pink bicycle. And like I said earlier, I'm not riding no pink bike.
geechee slim;8489294 said:
Well, I'm eating those words with a fork and plate. My plan was to go in late WHEN NOBODY'S ONTHE ROAD. And since it's cold, let me put on this heavy black fleece and black skully. And since it's hard to breathe in all that fog, letme bring this black scarf around my face. Not all I gotta do is wait till 2:AM and head out. I'll be back around 4:45AM before anyone's on the road and sees this grown ass man on this barbie bike.
I pull through my neighborhood and all I hear is barking. The bike chain is rusty, the pedals squeek, and BOTH tires are flat. I'm a smoker and the low tire pressure is killing my legs. You feel every pebble on the street. Only light I have is my phone. I see deer skattering and possums moving. Dogs barking. I look and sound like Jason coming.
So I get onto the main road to my night gig. I'm on the right side of the road and I hear/feel/see a car coming from about half a block behind me. So I get in the left lane and let him pass. An all white ford taurus slows down and observes me and drive down the street. I get back in the right lane and ride forward another 3 minutes... and I see a car waiting for me. I think I might get jacked.
So I'm riding and as soon as I pass the car I hear "HEY BUDDY! WHERE YOU HEADED" I reach in my right fleece pocket for my flashlightand I hear
"WHOA WHOA WHOA DON'T MOVE OR I WILL SHOOT YOU!!!!"
And LED light hits me in the face and I'm blind. I'm frozen with my right hand in my pocket and left hand up in the air.
"GET OFF THE BIKE AND PUT KEEP YOUR HANDS THERE"
He came towards me and I realize he's a cop. It looked like he was gonna put me in cuffs and frisks me so I say
"Am I being detained?"
WHERE ARE YOU HEADED TONIGHT?
That office building right there, I work there.
IT'S CLOSED
I know, I clean the floors. I'm having car trouble and all I have is this pink bike, so I didn't want to be seen in it.
I BELIEVE YOU.
*whew* I have to go--
DO YOU HAVE YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE?
........ I'm on a bike. Do I need a drivers license for that?
ARE YOU BEING A SMART ASS? YOU'RE THE ONE RIDING ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE WHEN I PASSED YOU, AGAINST TRAFFIC. THATS A VIOLATION.
OK, well my license number is zero, one three, six...
(*pulls out notepad and startswriting*) HOLD ON SIR, ZERO ONE THREE SIX WHAT?
Long story short, he wrote me a warning
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Recaptimus_Prime360
New member
F*** them cops around here tho. A lot of them do be on that bs.
Geechee you need to g'on head and write a book titled "The Geechee Slim Chronicles"
Geechee you need to g'on head and write a book titled "The Geechee Slim Chronicles"
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geechee slim;8493401 said:Part 2 of The Little Pink Bike: From China with Love
So, I had to get a new debit card because my previous one wasn't scanning anymore. A new card with a new number. GIECO was taking automatic payments from a credit card I didn't have. The bill doesn't even come to my house, it goes to pop's crib. So not only was I riding for months uninsured, but on a suspended license! I didn't know till I got a pink letter at their house. So even during part one, if I'd had gotten pulled over I would have been thrown in jail! I work late nights and I don't wanna get pulled over by bored pigs. It's MANDATORY 30 days.
So I gotta pay for the insurance FIRST, then the license, then the reinstatement, the state fees, the OTHER fees, reinstate my tags. All in all it was about 480 to get just the car legal again. I paid to get my car legal and insured, and waited to pay the other $200x2 to reinstate my own license.
I had a girlfriend who stayed another 30 minutes from me, lets call her Beatrice. We hadn't spoken in a while, but, I donno I can make her a temporary chauffer. She'd spent the night before, and my mom knows of her and likes what she hears about her. So we linked up. I explained my situation and told her I needed her to drive me to ONLY my night job, from around 11:00 to 3:00 AM in MY car. It's a 30-40 minute walk from my house, but why walk when you got a car right? Plus I've let her drive my car before and I thought it was kinda cool. To let ya girl drive ya whip, you know? I mean, I kinda liked this girl and she's a top 5 overall.
The first time, things went smooth. I pick her up around 11:15 and I give her the key to my room. She know I got a room mate, she know how to work my tv. She got the wifi in her phone. She'll drop me off at my night job and wait in my house until I get off. The second time I drove with her into charleston to my dayjob from 2-11pm. She got mad I didn't give her the keys. I gave her some $$$ to have a good time downtown until I get off work. I wasn't giving her my car for 8 hours though. She found a way back home when I got off work. So I took a chance that night. Another day she texts me and asks if I needed a driver. I thought she was trying to 'make up' with me but she had other plans.
I drove to work with a full tank, and all tires checked for fuel pressure. The inside was CLEAN. My last oil check was a few weeks ago. New front tires, timing belt. This car still had a lot of fight in it. WELL... The second night I had her drop me off, she was gonna wait in my house. I get off at three so I text her around 2:45 to remindher. I clock out and I'm chillin in the building. I text her "honk the horn twice so I know you there." I get nothing.
So I call.... and I call.... text again and I call.... At 3:25 she finally picks up.
YO!?! (*waiting for response*) ..... Where you at?
... What time is it?
LOOK AT YOUR DAMN PHONE, the time's right there! Come get me!
... I'm sick.
SICK? GIRL! ........... You in MY FUCKIN HOUSE!!! Driving MY FUCKING CAR!!!!
OK now see, all that cussin ain't called for.
At that moment, I almost went full red pill MGTOW. But I had to get right, because she is in my house, with my keys... And my stuff. So I say "well I'm right here so get over here now please thanks bye." If I had a Nokia phone I woulda threw that shit on the ground as soon as I hit End Call. I'm cursing up a storm in a secluded parking lot.
Now it's damn near 3:45, and my house is a 5 minute drive. I get ready to start walking. Right where the parking lot meets the street I hear the WORST SOUNDING NOISE to ever come from a car. I say..... "Who da hell is THAT?" This girl pulls up in my car with the wost engine noise imaginable. Imagine cranking a dead lawnmower. One of you niggas onthis board put a hex on me. Cuz I sounded just like my daddy when I said to that bitch
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY CAR?!?
I don't even know it's just...
JUST WHAT? Is this why I been callin and callin and you never picked up?!?
I told you I was sick!
BUUUULLLLL!!!
(*wait for it*)
SHIIIIIIT! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO? WHERE DID YOU GO?!?
She's speachless, I'm pissed. Good thing it was late night because I would've gotten arrested for sure. Because I cranked it up, and drove forward and my car was BARELY moving forward. Every bit of has, the knock noise would get louder and louder. I look in my backseat and there are shoe prints. Who df else was in my car? Feul tank close to E. Then, the car shuts down in the street.
I start bangin on the steering wheel and I look at her. She got scared and opened her door like she was goona run. I tell her wait, everything's ok, lemme just look at it and everything will be fine. Popped the hood and the engine was steamy, battery corrosion, and heavy engine knock. I also saw my car wasn't so clean, the tires were lighter, and someone was definately in my backseat. When we got back in the car, the transmission was stuck between drive and overdrive. I couldn't chose either, just stuck in between KILLING my engine and transmission. We make it home.
I woke her up the next day and say
"Your ride is here!"
My ride? Who?
Your UBER! I gotchu a guy named Johnny in a Carolla and he's gonna get you home safely!
She was pissed, make no doubt about it. Because I was rejecting her, kicking her out, AND doing it in a nice way. She even knocked over my favorite little pirate ship I bought from Goodwill. She knew I used to talk about it alot, and that's why she knocked it off my television.
I bring my old man by the next day
"Boy, you got a blown rod bearing, which toar UP dat engine. But it's no use getting a $700 engine replacement from LKQ because you also have a destroyed transmission. Oil is leaking and there is a HUGE dent under your car. You must have hit something hard pretty fast... (*Pause*). You looking at a $2500 problem son. Parts and labor. So figure out if your car is even worth that to fix. How you getting to work tonight anyway? Your cousin gonna take you?"
Now how the fuck am I supposed to get to work. I would ask my roommate, but he's still acting iffy with me. He just basically doesn't fuck with me, even though I do everything in the house. None of my homeboys is gonna give me a lift that late so, the only thing I got to ride is....
Stay tuned for part 3.
This how I know Jesus loves me... I'd been in jail that night bruh
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